Mama's of 2 and more......couple of questions - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 06-07-2005, 02:43 PM - Thread Starter
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Ok - I'm starting to get into my pregnancy induced "let's worry about everything in the world and try and control just a few of those things" mode and was wondering what you more experienced mamas do.

We have a mini-van, currently ds sits rear-facing behind me. Where should the wee-bitty go? Should I move ds kiddy-corner from me (still rear-facing) and the baby behind me? I should do that soon if I'm going to do it, right, so he has time to adjust before wee-bitty gets here in Aug/Sept?

How do I "load" said mini-van? Open the door behind driver's seat, have ds crawl in, strap in wee-bitty, close door, walk around to passenger side and get ds in his seat?

Ds just turned 2, should I get some birth videos for him to watch (we're having a homebirth)? Or just explain that today we're having a baby, mama will be making lots of noise, you can watch if you want (my best friend will be over watching/playing w/Daniel)

When do I bring the baby stuff upstairs? I want ds to get used to it being there (we use the top of the playpen for diaper changes when they're itty-bitties, I was thinking I would bring the swing up and just see if the baby likes it - who knows - ds never did.)

We talk about the baby in Mama's uterus, but I don't think he really gets it. We have the Sears' book "Baby on the Way" but he hates to be read to, so it's more me narrating from across the room as he looks through it.

I guess, overall, how do you prepare your only to be an older brother? Any words/phrases/things I should avoid? I'm not calling him a "big brother" because I don't think that adding a sibling to the house means that he suddenly has to act bigger, just that now he's the older brother to a younger sibling.

Thanks for reading my rambling and for any btdt advice you wish you had known, did, done differently, etc.
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#2 of 4 Old 06-07-2005, 03:04 PM
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First of mama-no worries it will all come together beautifully! As far as the car seat issues I would put the oldest where you could get to him as he might need his cup etc etc....and put the baby either in the middle where you could get to her/him as well or directly behind you. Do you have a carseat and base for itty bitty or is it a regular one-piece carseat? If its a base and carrier (thats what I have) I always put my oldest in first because she can run away or whatever and keep the carrier with my little one in between my feet on the ground....then I walk around and put in wee bitty If its just a regular one piece carseat I would keep baby in a sling (provided you have one or some sort of carrier while you strapped in your ds.

I think a video may help...but I think verbally preparing for it can do wonders!I also think all the gear isnt much of an adaptation as the 'll know when its right! Kids can be so different in areas like this.
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#3 of 4 Old 06-07-2005, 03:09 PM
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I paired my DDs up; DD#1 and DD #3 sit all the way in the back. That way DD #1 can help buckle in DD #3 and can get things for her. DD #2 and DD #4 sit in the middle row for the same reason. I can reach DD #4 very easily, and I do the buckling for DD #4.

As for preparing DS, I was pretty fortunate that my DDs were all born pretty close; DD #1 doesn't remember being alone! :LOL When DD #3 was coming, she did wonder what was going on, and I simply told her that another baby was coming; it was easy for her. With DD #4, the older two DDs guessed I was preggo because of all the vomiting I was doing!! We'll see if they guess this one!
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#4 of 4 Old 06-07-2005, 06:05 PM
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Minivan....I'd say have your older child get in first, then strap the baby in, then ds, as you suggested. That's what has worked best for us.

My ds#1 was 19 months old when his little brother was born - we watched natural birth videos, read books, role played, etc. to prepare him for the birth (which he attended). We did the same thing with ds#2 when I was pg with dd - ds#2 was 23 months when dd was born. Both ds's understood a lot more than we thought they would and enjoyed being at their sibling's birth. One of their favorite things was the "Marianna" doll (available through LLLI) - a pregnant/birthing/breastfeeding doll.

Oh...and if you tend to be noisy while birthing, you can make a game out of "helping" mama to make birth noises. My kids thought it was hysterical when we would make all sorts of loud noises trying to predict what I would sound like when I was "working hard to push the baby out." We did this because I was worried that they might be freaked out if I was noisy, but they weren't (and I have no idea how noisy I was...I don't remember! :LOL )

Involving your ds in preparing for the baby may be beneficial as well. Could you have him help set up the swing and the playpen ... maybe make a "Happy Birth Day" sign to hang up on the big day ... or decorate a baby t-shirt for his little sibling (or a "Birth Day" shirt for himself)?

The thing to keep in mind is that many the what-ifs you have now will just naturally work themselves out or answer themselves when the time comes. I have to remind myself of this a lot, but it's true! :LOL

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

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