Do parents 'Deserve' breaks from their children? - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: How old would you leave your child with a non-parent sitter at home?
0-6 months 73 26.45%
6-12 months 38 13.77%
12-24 months 63 22.83%
2-4 years 69 25.00%
4-8 years 27 9.78%
8-11 years 5 1.81%
11-14 years 1 0.36%
14-18 years 0 0%
Voters: 276. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
Yoshua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Where I am
Posts: 3,010
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
What do you think? And be honest and please no flaming. Discussion is great but don't put people down if they think something you do not.


But seriously.


When you have a baby do you think that you 'deserve' time off from being a parent to go out and play when you want?

Or do you consider havinga child a permanant comitment that you must always be by their side until they are old enough to fend for themselves for some length of time.

I am not talking about 'well my husband can take care....' some people don't have husbands. I am also talking ABOUT husbands. I am talking about individual parents who have children, women or men. Do you think you have a 'right' to leave your child in the care of someone OTHER than you so you can have a break?

And lets break this down. Answer yes or no and fill in your reasons why for the questions ahead, or feel free to answer them all at once. The questions are just there to help guide the thread.

I will answer my own question after some others have answered this.

The poll will be just a 'when do you think your kid is able to stay home with a non-parent sitter?'

1. 0-6 months

2. 6-12 months

3. 12-24 months

4. 2-4 years

5. 5-8 years

6. 8-11 years

7. 11-14 years

8. 14-18 years

Partner to :Jessica(??) papa to Jake(7) and : Kaiya (2)
Yoshua is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:38 AM
 
MCatLvrMom2A&X's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: With Vin Diesel ;) YUMMMM
Posts: 14,239
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I have left my dd and ds both with my parents. But I will never use a baby sitter like hire someone I dont know.

I do think that a break is essential sometimes at least for me. Since I have little to no help from my dh. I dont need long to recharge maybe 5-8 hours. Usually tho it isnt really a break I leave them to go to a Dr. appt. that dosnt really count but it is nice to not have to worry about them for a little while.

So grandparents 0-6 months
Anyone other than grandparents never.

SAHM
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
lovin'
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
to
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DD 10/00 &
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
DS 10/04
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
If your son is intact, keep him safe, visit the Intact Care forum
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Circ, a personal choice, Your SONS
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
11/98
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
6/99
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Thyroid cancer survivor. With 5
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
& 2 Boxers
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
wishing for
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
MCatLvrMom2A&X is offline  
#3 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:45 AM
 
timneh_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Somewhere between awake and asleep
Posts: 4,928
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I am lucky to have a 15 year old niece who lives 10 minutes from me and she is really great with DS. DH and I have been taking childbirth classes and we really couldn't bring DS with us, so MIL has watched him a few times and my niece/SIL have watched him at other times. We did leave him with my mom and a trusted friend when he was about 8 months old to see the new Star Wars movie but that was a 1 time thing. It really wasn't until DS was close to 2 years old that I felt comfortable leaving him with someone other than DH.

I think, though, that there are a lot of factors in this... if you have an excellent relationship with your mom or MIL or other family, or if you have a really super close friend that you trust explicitly and you know will care for your child how you would want (and understands breastfeeding, etc) then that would make a huge difference. For me, I did not want to leave my infant with my MIL for a variety of reasons... and DH was not about to agree to leaving DS with a close friend of mine BEFORE his mother (you know how that goes) so we just didn't leave him. He was easy to take along back then anyway. I'm sure it will probably be the same with this baby too, whether this one is easy to take along or not, I probably won't leave her for a couple of years.
timneh_mom is offline  
 
#4 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:46 AM
 
nicole lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua View Post
The poll will be just a 'when do you think your kid is able to stay home with a non-parent sitter?'
1. 0-6 months

Because I was nursing exclusively and just getting to know DS and figuring out the whole parenting thing I wasn't comfortable leaving him at this age. Oh, and I was just too darn tired and couldn't think more than 1 minute ahead.

2. 6-12 months

Same as above

3. 12-24 months

Same as above

4. 2-4 years

At just past 2 was the first time BF and I left DS with a sitter. My best friend and someone DS absolutely adores. I didn't feel right leaving him before then because he was nursing and also because he wasn't very verbal yet. Being able to talk and ask for what he wanted/needed made me feel a lot more comfortable leaving him. After that one time we didn't really use a sitter again until he was 3 and we started using one of two teens. Ds adored both and looked forward to hanging out with them.

5. 5-8 years

We use a sitter about once a month right now. We have two teens we choose from - actually, one is starting to get too busy so we're on the look-out for another.

6. 8-11 years

Same as above.

7. 11-14 years

By 11 DS would be fine being left alone, except for overnight. So unless we plan an overnight in the future he'll be done with sitters.

8. 14-18 years

No sitters.
nicole lisa is offline  
#5 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:50 AM
 
mmace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Southwestern Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,936
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was a two parent family I probably would have answered this differently. At that time I got "breaks" without even realizing it - going to get groceries without the kids, having someone else give them a bath, just having their dad say "I'll get it" when someone asked for a drink of water.

Now that I'm a single parent, I can look back and see those "breaks", and I don't have that luxury anymore. He doesn't spend much time with them (and when he does it is here in my home with me present - think an hour a month, if that) so I don't get a break at all.
mmace is offline  
#6 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:53 AM
 
chel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: lost in a cornfield
Posts: 4,205
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
While I'm not sure it's a "right" I think some parents might really need it, and to some it could be really helpful.
I had my dd without any support nearby. There was no one I trusted to leave dd with. So even though I could have really used some time without dd, she was almost always with me, I think once Dh took her out just the 2 of them.
I don't feel the AP "rules" imply that a dc should only be with the parents, but rather the parents shouldn't leave their dc for a prolonged period in the beginning. Having a circle of close friends and family is an important tool in raising a child.

mom to 14yr dd and 4yr dd
chel is offline  
#7 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 11:54 AM
 
nicole lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was thinking that, mmace, while answering the poll. Because BF is such an involved parent I get out quite a bit. Sitters are only for the rare time we get out together. Each night I get a break as I head to the gym (I'm a horrible person if not getting regular excercise) and then there's days like today where I woke up sick so BF called into work while I slept. There's less need for time out or away when you're getting regular breaks in the house (someone else doing bath, or dinner or dishes etc).

I know all my single mama friends would just love to have a bath alone without also having to be the only responsible person in the house.
nicole lisa is offline  
#8 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:00 PM
 
HollyBearsMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: nomans land
Posts: 6,006
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1. 0-6 months

I am a working parent so I have no choice to answer 0-6 months. I left my child at home w/ a non-relative at 3 months. However I left him w/ complete security because I did extensive interviewing, reference and background checks before I ever let them in my home. Then I did numerous in home interviews. She then spent 2 months w/ us working up to my leaving him for more and more time before I went back to work.

If I had been a SAHM I still probably would have left him w/ my husband, a relative or a close friend occasionally-like to get my hair cut, go to the Dr's/Dentist, etc but not until our BF realtionship was fully established.

Pardon me while I puke.gif

HollyBearsMom is offline  
#9 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:02 PM
 
TinkerBelle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 3,282
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think I should just take off "when I want". My husband doesn't do that either.

I take a class 2 nights a week. I also shop by myself weekly. I plan to start taking bike rides or walking a few times a week, because I am in terrible physical shape.

My kids are 9, 8, and 2. I think I can safely take a few breaks a week and it will not harm their well-being. My middle child has Autism, which is tiring in itself. If I did not get some time away to think and be "me", I would not be as good of a parent, IMO.

But that is just me. If you feel you should have your child with you at all times and you don't feel the need for a break, that is fine too.
TinkerBelle is offline  
#10 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:05 PM
 
AprilDaisy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Louisiana, USA
Posts: 1,799
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't think it's about "deserving" a break. I think, for me, it's about spending some time not having to think, worry, fuss, correct, or whatever...even if it's just a few hours sometimes....

We have left our kids with my parents at various ages and they have swapped sleepovers. It doesn't happen often though.
AprilDaisy is offline  
#11 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:07 PM
 
2tadpoles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,026
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua View Post
When you have a baby do you think that you 'deserve' time off from being a parent to go out and play when you want?
Haven't read the answers yet.

I think the way that we live (broken down into small family units) is unnatural, and that in a natural, tribal community, everyone would help to take care of the children and everyone would get an occasional break.

Being a parent doesn't make you stop being a person. Most people need time here and there to rejuvenate themselves. I think kids deserve better than a run-down, exhausted, depressed mama or papa....and if a few hours "break" is what it takes to avoid that, then so be it. It's no crime.
2tadpoles is offline  
#12 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:10 PM
 
moonfirefaery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Goose Creek, SC
Posts: 2,993
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We let our son stay at a friend's house when he was six months old for a few hours so we could have a date night. We didn't leave him again until 6 months later for another one!

fambedsingle2.gif Heather, 25, single mom to Corbin, 5, and Orin, 3  uc.jpg  delayedvax.gif  nocirc.gif
Oh how I miss the days of femalesling.GIF  nak.gifcd.gif  
moonfirefaery is offline  
#13 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:10 PM
 
Tanibani's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Southern California
Posts: 2,984
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1. 0-6 months

I just took the baby with me (dinners, no movies). We stayed home to watch movies. No sitters for evening. But I did have a sitter once a week so I could run errands during the day with my first.

2. 6-12 months

No evening sitters yet.

3. 12-24 months

At this point I would like to go out with my husband for the evening (see Wicked) and need a sitter. I was a nervous wreck b/c I was afraid my daughter would be crying for me. I go anyway and it works out. Closer to 1.5-age 2 I start leaving her with a sitter. I need to work in my son's Kindergarten once a week. She hates it and pouts (refuses to play with the sitter for weeks) but then warms up.

4. 2-4 years

Definitely yes. No problems. My children love their sitters because they are fun. It's not frequent, but I do NEED breaks. I don't know about "deserving" breaks, that is a weird way to put it.

We don't go on vacation without them (I don't get that ) but a few hours a week is fine, IMO.

5. 5-8 years

Ditto.

10 - boy
5.5 - girl
Tanibani is offline  
#14 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:13 PM
 
LionTigerBear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 6,455
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My first son I left with his grandparents when he was about four months old because he would take bottle. I still didn't quite feel right about it though. This baby has not wanted to take a bottle so I will not be leaving him with babysitters until he is at least a year old.

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

LionTigerBear is offline  
#15 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:17 PM
 
wombat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 2,975
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't use the word 'deserve'. If you want some time out, fine; if you don't, fine.

AP doesn't mean you must be glued to each other 24/7. It's about understanding your babies needs and ensuring your baby's needs are met. If you can do that, fine.
wombat is offline  
#16 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:18 PM
 
FoxintheSnow's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: nak
Posts: 5,822
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When ds was a month old dh and I went out for our anniversary while ds stayed with my cousin and her partner. We went to a japanese restaurant down the street from their house for an hour. They said ds slept the whole time we were gone. It was nice to be out of baby mode just for that brief time. We really really missed him though. He's almost 3 now and to answer the question in the title "Do parents deserve breaks from their children?" hell yes! I'm a much better mom when I get a break, trust me.

Mother of 3, welcomed a new baby girl July 2011

FoxintheSnow is offline  
#17 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:19 PM
 
Starr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 6,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD went into a small family run daycare at 5 months old. I think she was 6 months the first time we had the nieghbor girl watch her when I was not working. We fed her supper, gave her a bath, and put her to bed. Once she was asleep we left, it was a firemans banquet and only 3 blocks from our house so I knew if she woke up I could be there very quickly. Everything went fine, she never woke. Besides that first time she has never been with a non family member sitter.
Starr is offline  
#18 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:25 PM
 
roxyrox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 722
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I put 0-6.

When my ds was that young though I only left him once with my Mom to go out for lunch for my birthday. I wouldn't have left him at night that young even with dh as he used to cluster feed for 3-4 hours at night!

Between 6-12 months I left him a couple of times more with my Mom or my sister but we mostly just took him wherever we were going.

Ds is 2 now and I still haven't left him with anyone else but my Mom/sister/DH. I think he is old enough now though and I would feel comfortable leaving him with quite a few friends if I had the opportunity.


I don't think that parents necessarily "deserve" a break but I think it is nice sometimes
roxyrox is offline  
#19 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:29 PM
 
Wabi Sabi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,985
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat View Post
I wouldn't use the word 'deserve'. If you want some time out, fine; if you don't, fine.

AP doesn't mean you must be glued to each other 24/7. It's about understanding your babies needs and ensuring your baby's needs are met. If you can do that, fine.
Ditto Wombat.

We tried leaving ds with family a few times when he was an infant and it went horribly each time so we gave up on it.

Just before his second birthday we found ourselves in a couple of situations in which we really NEEDED childcare- not a want, but a legitimate need. He had a rough time the first few days, but luckily I found a very APish daycare provider who'd simply put him in a sling and take walks when he was upset. In the past six months he's gone from a child who would freak if mom or dad left the room to a kid who really enjoys going to other people's houses. He still goes to childcare a couple mornings a week while I have class, but he also enjoys staying with several of our close friends who also have kids and his great-grandmother. Dh and I went out to dinner ourselves this weekend for the first time in over 2 years!

In all honesty, as much as I love being with my kid, with any future kids we hope to get them accustomed to being without us earlier. I don't see myself leaving a tiny baby with just anyone, but it would be nice to be able to utilize a trusted friend or family member if we really need to go somewhere that isn't baby-friendly.
Wabi Sabi is offline  
#20 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:30 PM
 
LovemyBoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Beautiful Rocky Mountains
Posts: 1,671
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No more or as much as people "deserve" a break from anyone they see on an hourly basis. I love my husband but I'd need a break from him if I saw him 24/7.

I voted 0-6 months but I need to clarify.

I would leave a baby after bfing has been well established, at least 2-3 months for me, and ONLY with a trusted family member or friend, and only for 90 minutes or so. I would do it earlier for a walk around the block or other such closeby, easy access excursion.

I would go for longer once the baby was less booby dependent and ate more solids, again ONLY with a trusted relative or friend.

I would leave my child with your standard "babysitter" only when they are old enough to talk and articulate well enough to express to me that something went wrong. That is my personal issue, I don't expect other parents to abide by it. I have a problem leaving a non-verbal, very young child with someone I don't know and completely trust.
LovemyBoo is offline  
#21 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:34 PM
 
GoodWillHunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Doing something...vague.
Posts: 11,443
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've left my kids with my parents or in laws... they don't do overnights until at least three. Or four. My youngest is almost three and he's never been away from me overnight (still nursing). But never with a stranger. Or a non related baby sitter.

And whether we deserve it? Yes, we do. In order to be a functional, good parent, we need time to "recharge" our batteries so to speak. It's not possible to be kind and gentle and loving when you're tapped out yourself.
GoodWillHunter is offline  
#22 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:34 PM
 
alegna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 42,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I voted 2-4 years. But by non-parent sitter I mean grandparent or close relative that the child knows well.

-Angela
alegna is offline  
#23 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:36 PM
 
Hatteras Gal's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Pemberley
Posts: 2,212
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I would have left both my children with my mom and dad from birth on. My sister and best friends from 6 months on, other good friends from 12 months on, and a non-related babysitter after 2 years.

I've been overnight from my oldest only 2 times, not at all with my youngest. When I was 7 months pregnant with my youngest I drove 5 hours to meet with my best friend for 2 days and nights and then when I was in the hospital giving birth. Both times she was with her dad.
Hatteras Gal is offline  
#24 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:37 PM
 
onthemove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NW BC
Posts: 1,069
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 4 Post(s)
I think it is healthy to take a break if you are in need of one providing your dc is fine.

I voted after 12 months because I never left my dc's until after this, they loved being with a babysitter it was something fresh and they cried when they left.
onthemove is offline  
#25 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:38 PM
 
Mama Poot's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Youngstown OH-Gotta Live Somewhere!
Posts: 6,010
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yoshua View Post




When you have a baby do you think that you 'deserve' time off from being a parent to go out and play when you want?

Or do you consider havinga child a permanant comitment that you must always be by their side until they are old enough to fend for themselves for some length of time.

I am not talking about 'well my husband can take care....' some people don't have husbands. I am also talking ABOUT husbands. I am talking about individual parents who have children, women or men. Do you think you have a 'right' to leave your child in the care of someone OTHER than you so you can have a break?

And lets break this down. Answer yes or no and fill in your reasons why for the questions ahead, or feel free to answer them all at once. The questions are just there to help guide the thread.

Yes I deserve time off, but I'm searching for a better way to word that. You never stop being a parent. Just because I go shopping alone or to an appointment alone doesn't mean I stop being a parent for that time I'm gone. I have a cellphone and if there is a problem I'll go right home.

Of course having a child is a permanent committment, but that doesn't mean they have to be glued to my hip 24/7. As long as my kids are with trusted family members or close friends, I see no issue.

Yes I have a RIGHT to leave my child in someone else's care so I can have a break. I would become a rather unpleasant person if I didn't get some time to myself, and my kids need a happy Mama, not a resentful, angry Mama.

I voted to leave the kids between 0-6 months. My work schedule demanded it, but I would have gone out alone by then even if I wasnt working. I think we left Henri for the first time when he was 4 months old.
Mama Poot is offline  
#26 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:40 PM
 
onlyzombiecat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Northeast Kansas
Posts: 7,237
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We don't really use a babysitter to "play" whenever we want. We do use a non-parent sitter sometimes though. Parenting is very demanding and I feel everyone deserves a break every once in awhile. The age when you feel comfortable leaving your child with a non-parent sitter depends on you, your child and your situation. The amount of time away you need will vary too.

I think dd was probably 3 months when we left her with my parents to attend a wedding. She was fine. I had a horrible time and felt like my arm had been cut off without her there. I wasn't really ready to leave her I guess.
We probably didn't leave her again until she was over 6 months. I did get breaks from my mom when we lived close but I was still in the house on those occasions.
From the time dd was 9 months to 2 years we didn't really leave her with anyone because we had moved and didn't have anyone nearby who we trusted.
From ages 2 to 4 years we lived near family again and had the occasional break without dd. Dh and I found it helpful for the state of our marriage if we could be alone every now and then.
Ages 5-8 is where we are now and we don't have a regular local sitter again.
We most recently left dd (6) with my parents while dh and I celebrated our anniversary and did some Christmas shopping for dd. She had a great time. We had a nice break and we deserved it.

Kim ~mom to one awesome dd (12)

onlyzombiecat is offline  
#27 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:45 PM
 
dancingmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 691
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wombat View Post
I wouldn't use the word 'deserve'. If you want some time out, fine; if you don't, fine.

AP doesn't mean you must be glued to each other 24/7. It's about understanding your babies needs and ensuring your baby's needs are met. If you can do that, fine.
Exactly. I think the OP wording is unfortunate at best, inflammatory at worst.
dancingmama is offline  
#28 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:47 PM
 
Cujobunny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,411
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a weird question. I've left ds with my parents, my IL and a very close friend (who also has a child) but not for too long, for dinner or once to have a home inspection done on a potential new house. Never a stranger, never will.

Amanda - wife to DH Kellyjog.gif, Mummers to Trentreading.gif born 03/03/05 Bridgetdust.gif born 08/08/07 and a IT'S A BOY! Kennedy babyboy.gifborn 02/20/11!
Cujobunny is offline  
#29 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:50 PM
 
Mommy Piadosa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: California
Posts: 551
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
the problem i have w/ this poll is that the poll asks how young you would leave a child in the care of a non-parent, but the post assumes it is for a "break".
as a single mama- there is no other parent to take the baby when i went to class or a dr appt- so i voted 6-12 months becasue thats when i started leaving him with my parents to attend college.
but as far as leaving him to get a "break" that did not happen until about 18 months- and only then because some of the things i enjoy (live theater for example) are not appropriate for toddlers- not because i wanted a break from him. and then it was only maybe once a month at the most.

Punk, hippy, mama to 4 amazing kiddos, Boy#1 (18), TheGirl (13), Boy#2 (11- PBD) and Boy#3 (6)
Mommy Piadosa is offline  
#30 of 112 Old 01-16-2007, 12:52 PM
 
nicole lisa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 4,427
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cujobunny View Post
Never a stranger, never will.
I don't know anyone who leaves their child with a stranger. Non- related care givers and sitters aren't strangers. They're people that parents have interviewed, screened, gotten to know well, and when they decided they trusted them, hired them to care for their hearts. It's not anything taken lightly by anyone I know. Our sitters certainly aren't strangers. They never were.
nicole lisa is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 1,734

12 members and 1,722 guests
Arishaa , barnetta , Dovenoir , fljen , Hyacinthe , IceFlake , Katie_Brown , lauritagoddess , omarinbox1888 , pooeils , Realdeal , skyrocket
Most users ever online was 21,860, 06-22-2018 at 08:45 PM.