Scared...5 day notice from landlord - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We got a 5 day notice from our landlord today because we are behind on rent. We owe $2200. I am so scared. I hadn't told my husband we were behind because I was trying to come up with the money on my own and I didn't want to worry him. I feel so crappy. We are thrifty and don't spend much money on non-essentials, DH works full-time and I work part-time from home but we never have enough money. DH has a masters degree but his profession is low-paying, plus our county has a very high cost of living. Decent, safe apartments are 50% of our monthly income, and more affordable ones are filled with gang members and drug dealers. I can't believe this is my life.
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#2 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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Be honest with your husband. Then sit and talk with him to decide a plan of action. Don't you have more time before they can actually evict you?

ETA: This may be a situation where another door is going to open.

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#3 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:23 PM
 
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I'm so sorry. Do you have family or friends who can give you a loan?
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#4 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We are going to sit down and talk this afternoon when DS goes for a nap. DH is furious and disappointed with me. He was the one who answered the door when they dropped off the notice.

I think we can borrow the money from my ILs, but DH hates asking them for money. I don't like it either but I don't know what else we can do. My parents can't afford to help.

I can't believe we are one step away from eviction. It makes me sick.

Our lease is up the end of June and I'm sure it won't be renewed now so we have to find a new place to live. It may be a blessing since now we can find a place with lower rent, but it is going to be so hard to find something around here. Plus we have no money for a deposit and stuff. We will likely have to move 20 miles from DH's work, and with the cost of gas that isn't good.

I don't know what will happen. DH has been looking for a job in our home state for two years now so we can move closer to family and live someplace more affordable.
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#5 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by fiorio View Post
We are going to sit down and talk this afternoon when DS goes for a nap. DH is furious and disappointed with me. He was the one who answered the door when they dropped off the notice.

I think we can borrow the money from my ILs, but DH hates asking them for money. I don't like it either but I don't know what else we can do. My parents can't afford to help.

I can't believe we are one step away from eviction. It makes me sick.

Our lease is up the end of June and I'm sure it won't be renewed now so we have to find a new place to live. It may be a blessing since now we can find a place with lower rent, but it is going to be so hard to find something around here. Plus we have no money for a deposit and stuff. We will likely have to move 20 miles from DH's work, and with the cost of gas that isn't good.

I don't know what will happen. DH has been looking for a job in our home state for two years now so we can move closer to family and live someplace more affordable.

You've got time.

As far as today... Give your DH some time to sort through what he is thinking and what direction he'd like to go in. Maybe he'll up and move your family to your home state. This may be what he needs to get his family out of there.

It'll be okay. Be kind to yourself and your child during your uncertainty and don't think about fear too much.
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#6 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:46 PM
 
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Try to make it into a good thing...

Start looking for places to move to now. Start planing to move NOW.
Create a budget, look into financial management tools, make financial goals for the next yearm figure out how much you can pay for an apartment, figure out changes you need to make to meet your goals and never end up in this situation again. Try to make it into "if we can get through this, our family becomes that much stronger" situation.

Turn this fear into action... You need something good to look forward to *HUGS* Sending good vibes your way :

New endeavor coming soon...
Raising Alice in Wonderland (DSD, 17), and in love with a Superman
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#7 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:47 PM
 
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I don't know what to tell you, but I want to send you a
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#8 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:53 PM
 
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#9 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 04:54 PM
 
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i hate money problems. i have had more than my fair share of them myself. i hope things get easier for you soon.
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#10 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:00 PM
 
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Definitely give your DH some space to work though his feelings. Try not to be too hard on yourself. We all make mistakes.
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#11 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:08 PM
 
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Is it a notice before eviction proceedings start? Evictions usually take 30 days, depending on your state.

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#12 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I am working on our financial info so DH and I can go over it today and start figuring out what to do. Deep down I know it is possible to get ourselves out of this situation, but I worry about how it will affect our marriage. I don't know if he will ever forgive me.
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#13 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:41 PM
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He'll forgive you, we all make mistakes. You should have been honest with him though. You also shouldn't have to take the burden of being that behind on the rent. As parters, you should work through it together.

Maybe you should consider moving back to your home area and looking for jobs when you get there. It is a lot harder to find a job when you aren't already there. Can you stay with family or find a cheap place for 6 months while you look?
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#14 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:49 PM
 
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sorry to hear about htis major stress in your lives. I wish had some helpful advice

Decluttering 500/2010
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#15 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:52 PM
 
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I don't have advice to offer, but I couldn't read without sending a hug.

Jessica, wife of Marc and Momma to N (14) and N (12) and O (6).
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#16 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 05:56 PM
 
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Have you spoken with your landlord? Since your lease is up so soon anyway, it may not be cost effective for them to file in court to evict you when all they have to do is not renew your lease. They may agree to take x amount now with an agreement that you'll move by x date and that you will continue to pay off the balance after you move so that you don't have an eviction on your record and so that they get their money. I mean, it does cost them money to file a court case, so they may be open to this. If you can get the $$ from the ILs, that would also mean that you wouldn't have to give it ALL to your LL now and could have a bit put aside to move and handle paying off the LL and moving expenses.

So sorry!!
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#17 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 06:22 PM
 
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It is HARD to evict tenants... especially ones with children. I know this because I have been a landlord!!! The pp is right: try to strike a deal with them. It's WAY in their better interests. And if you're in a complex, they know it and are familiar with it better than someone who owns one or two rental properties... kwim?

He'll forgive you. It will take time and you'll have to prove yourself--but it will happen. Be strong. And the pp who said to keep kindness--that was great advice.

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#18 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 06:28 PM
 
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It is HARD to evict tenants... especially ones with children. I know this because I have been a landlord!!! The pp is right: try to strike a deal with them. It's WAY in their better interests. And if you're in a complex, they know it and are familiar with it better than someone who owns one or two rental properties... kwim?

He'll forgive you. It will take time and you'll have to prove yourself--but it will happen. Be strong. And the pp who said to keep kindness--that was great advice.
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#19 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 07:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Equuskia View Post
Is it a notice before eviction proceedings start? Evictions usually take 30 days, depending on your state.
I don't think she's in the US, based on the wording of her post.

OP, I hope this works out for you.

I don't come here anymore. MDC has become overgrown with ads & useless extra forums.
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#20 of 21 Old 05-03-2008, 09:37 PM
 
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Thank you all for your support and suggestions. I am working on our financial info so DH and I can go over it today and start figuring out what to do. Deep down I know it is possible to get ourselves out of this situation, but I worry about how it will affect our marriage. I don't know if he will ever forgive me.
I would invite him to forgive you. "I was wrong to give into my fear and not to tell you. I can see how untrusting it was of me. I DO respect you and trust you and I wish I had remembered that in my fear. Will you forgive me?" Or whatever is true to the situation for you. Obviously put it into your own words.

If he starts, however, to go in a direction of shaming you and not letting it go....then you'll need different advice. i don't know what kind of man your husband is but I am hopeful that much good will come out of this and you'll back on this time and marvel at how it all worked out.
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