One of "Those" Days (really long rant) - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 04:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My GREAT day actually started yesterday. My SO nags me about his shirt collars not being perfect every now and then. (Really, when he has nothing else to nag about) I have told him time and time again if he wants them ironed to perfection, he can have a good time doing it himself. He has apparently been under the mistaken impression that if you iron them once, they magically stay ironed for a few weeks (through the washes, even). So he bitched about this again when my parents were here this weekend. Where I again tell him where the iron is and to do it himself.

Yesterday I'm talking to my mom online, who informs me she was "thinking" and I could use starch to iron his shirts by the front door because the spray on starch crap will go onto the rug, not a slippery vinyl floor. (This is a rug that Gavin reguarly crawls on, and several times has had in his MOUTH - she KNOWS this) I inform her again if he wants them done, he's welcome to do it himself. Her response? He works all day. I should do it.

Sorry, allow me to finish my bonbons before continuing. :

If they were super wrinkled, I'd iron them, but they aren't, and when he's not seeing a) customers or b) head ups of his company, I really don't care. I'd also possibly be more inclined to iron them if he'd hang them up once in awhile when he takes them off so he can wear them a second time (they aren't dirty after one wearing, esp as he wears an undershirt). Instead, he comes home and takes them off and piles them on the floor or on top of the clothes hamper, to let the cat sit on them. Occasionally I'll be lucky and get to them before the cat sits on them and makes them unwearable, but normally, I don't.

Today is the first sunny day in half a week. I get the diapers done, toss them into the laundry basket which has been sitting on the dryer, put Gavin in his sling and go outside. I get a few hung and then pull out two sopping wet clips. I sniff them. Cat pee.

The psycho cat apparently decided it would be a good idea to use the laundry basket as a bathroom this morning.

I take the basket back in, pick out the non peed on clips and diapers that were on the top of the pile, put then in a grocery bag, and go out to hang those. Now I get to do MORE laundry.

Anyone know of a cat psychologist? Seriously - she needs some medications or something and if she was my cat and didn't get along with our good cat as well, I'd be trying to find someone who would keep her for us. There is nothing physically/medically wrong with her, she's just mentally a nutjob and has been her whole life. Gavin tries to pet her, but I now have to shoo her away after the one time she tried to bite him for no reason when he was sitting on my lap.

Lastly, you'd think it would be really easy to find someone to take a POS old car away that is *free* and sell the parts for a profit. No charities will take it, the people that run ads saying "we'll take any car" won't take it, and I'm sick of seeing the thing. Anyone in Detroit know of anyone who will come pick up a non-running car and GET IT OUT OF MY SIGHT?

While I'm at it, just for good measure, Detroit water sucks. Think anyone would notice a water pipe above ground leading from Grosse Pointe decent water a block away to our house?

Rant over. A shiny golden star for anyone who got to the end.
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#2 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 04:11 PM
 
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Iron his shirt collars?

He wants you to iron his shirt collars?

Wait, I need to check my watch, what time is it...

oh yeah, 2003!

Divorced mom of one awesome boy born 2-3-2003.
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#3 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 04:12 PM
 
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I think we're involved with the same man!

My DH pitches a fit about the way I iron his shirts. He'll wear a pair of khakis that has been on the floor for a week all crumpled up with car hair on them, but heaven forbid if his shirts are wrinkly. :

He will randomly iron them himself, but he complains copiously about how much time it takes.

It's not as if anyone sees him a lot during the day. He's a scientist, he hangs out in the lab with a lab coat on.

Men, grrrr!

Hope your day gets better. Have a good weekend!
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#4 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 04:17 PM
 
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((((((vein)))))))

I get a shiny star, because I read your whole rant.

ABout the cat pee, can I say...I feel your pain!!! The other day I was getting Q dressed right before a whole bunch of relatives from out of state arrived. I wanted him to wear this one outfit that I think is extra-adorable so I had washed it special. I go to the laundry basket to get it out...hmmm, why is it all wet?? CAT PEE!!!! That is the *worst*!!! My cats take revenge when their litter box is not perfectly clean.

About the shirts...I'll be blunt....Your mom and your S.O. are crazy!...it is not YOUR job to iron shirts and even less so to some mythical standard of perfection. If someone complained about my ironing, I wouldn't iron for them again. (that is, if I had an iron and ironing board)

My mother had a saying about this: "If someone else cooks for me, the meal starts at fantastic." YOU are being fantastically nice by ironing these shirts at all...and if its not appreciated, I think S.O has a new job!
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#5 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 04:22 PM
 
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Once you get those collars perfect...don't forget to starch his undies. You know, for completeness' sake.

As far as the car, you got a friend with a big truck? Just haul it to the junkyard yourself. You might get $100-300 for it. Call first, of course. You can also put a "free" ad in the paper. You-haul of course.

If I knew how to fix cats, I wouldn't be cleaning up nearly as much pee, would I? I've got a great old dame cat who has decided that the floor next to the box is as good as the box.

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#6 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 05:19 PM
 
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Iron his shirt collars?! He's lucky he married you and not me, I'd tell him what to do with the iron in no uncertain terms, and it wouldn't involve ironing his shirts.....

My grandMIL used to ask me if I ironed our clothes, but I just kept telling her, "nope, I sure don't, and I'm not gonna start." So she stopped asking. Some people just don't understand how much a SAHM actually has to do in one day.....

Anyway, I feel your pain.... and I want my gold star.
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#7 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 05:34 PM
 
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If he wants it perfect, he can take them to the dry cleaner's himself.

Sheesh! What next--iron the sheets?

He and your mom are way out of line.
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#8 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 05:54 PM
 
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We were in Home Depot recently and saw ironing boards. Dh took great pleasure in pointing them out to me and explaining what they are for. : I agree with everyone else, if he wants his damn shirts ironed, then either he does them or he takes them to the cleaners himself.

I got into this with mil in the summer. She was saying how unkempt kids look when their clothes aren't ironed. So I asked her "Are you saying my kids are unkempt, because I don't iron all their clothes?" She had no answer lol. She expects me to iron jeans, tee shirts, etc. Get real, I have a life.
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#9 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 06:08 PM
 
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Sorry, allow me to finish my bonbons before continuing.

It's lonely being the only XX in a house of XYs.
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#10 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 06:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by vein
This is a rug that Gavin reguarly crawls on, and several times has had in his MOUTH - she KNOWS this
Well...if you'd just keep him in a playpen you wouldn't have that problem - plus he wouldn't end up so spoiled!

Just think -- he could play there all day & you would have time to iron everything -- from tightie-whities to his socks! Then you clean the rug & the vinyl floor! ...I love getting advice from people, don't you?







Just kiddin', of course -- must be all those bonbons goin' to my head! :LOL

ps -- I love the name Gavin! It was on my list.
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#11 of 20 Old 10-24-2003, 11:58 PM
 
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For the cat problems, check out this site for tons of information and advice .

My formerly wonderful but now psycho kitty is currently on Clomicalm (clomipramine), having gone through Valium (I kid you not) and Elavil (ditto) to try to get the behavioral aspects of his "inappropriate elimination" (read: pisses all over everything) under control. He's also got FLUTD (feline lower urinary tract dysfunction), i.e. periodic bladder irritation, so he's on a special diet for that.

The Clomicalm seems to be working pretty well so far, knock wood. We give it to him in a transdermal formulation, a tiny amount of liquid that we rub into his ear, which also eliminates the trauma of dosing him up with a pill or a liquid.

HTH! I feel like a bad kitty mom, I don't love this cat nearly as much as I used to, he has become such a giant PITA.

Come visit the NEW QuirkyBaby website -- earn QB Bucks rewards points for purchases, reviews, referrals, and more! Free US shipping on great brands of baby slings and carriers and FREE BabyLegs or babywearing mirror on orders of $100+. Take the QB Quiz for personalized advice!

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#12 of 20 Old 10-25-2003, 12:00 AM
 
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:LOL :LOL :LOL I got a good laugh tonight, thanks !! I also have a nutcase for a cat, but instead of pee, it is poop, and it is always strategically placed right at the foot of the stairs, so when I head downstairs in the morning, blurryeyed and not quite awake, unless I remember to check, occasionally I get a footfull of not so nice doo doo... always a great way to start the day yesindeedy!!
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#13 of 20 Old 10-25-2003, 12:02 AM
 
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YOUR FIRED!


take the shirts to the cleaners.
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#14 of 20 Old 10-25-2003, 12:14 AM
 
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Hey, can I have a bon-bon with my gold sticker?

I don't even own an iron or an ironing board but if I did I would tell my dh to do it himself if he didn't like how I did it.

We also had a car that didn't run and the front end was wrecked. None of the charities would take it. The junkyard wouldn't come get it either. FInally, we put an ad in the local free paper offering it for free. Someone came and got it within a week.

I hope your weekend goes better!
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#15 of 20 Old 10-25-2003, 12:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by PumpkinSeed
YOUR FIRED!


take the shirts to the cleaners.
Sing it sister sing it!

Ok, I know vein, so my respons will be more personal. HUGE to you - pick-up the phone ANY time and call me when you need to vent

My dh has been doing his own laundry for about 10 years. Like you, I just couldn't do it well enough - got fed up - I'm DONE! This was even before kids. He's a big boy and needs to take care of himself. I fell that it's part of grooming - ya don't wipe his butt? He can do the dang colars.

Yes, you are at home. There are some things you're responsible for. You're a mother and ds depends on you for his basic needs and nurturing. DSO was a baby once and had a mother. He's now a man, a father, a partner - I stress the word partner.

Now, let's look at it from his angle. Maybe he dosn't fully realize your function as a mother. I know he appreciates how you nurture ds, but, dose he fully understand your roll? The fact that your sleep deprived, a bit overwhelmed with new mommyhood? Yes, it should be obvious, but to so many men it's not. Not an excuse, just looking at it from another angle.

How receptive would he be to talking? When I approach something like this I try hard not to make him feel attacked. I put the burdon on myeself, because we can't chage others, only ourselves. My typical approach is something like this "I understand it's important that your colars be a certain way. You do work very hard and I appreciate what you do for us. However, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. Sometimes there are small things that come up in my day that keep me busy from morning until night. Is there any way you could do your colars to help me out?"

With my dh, if I put it all on him, he'll come back at me with his own list. This ALWAYS ends in a screaming match because I don't feel heard and I feel picked on. Also, from his angle, If I start out complaining about him, he shuts down and is less likely to listen to me or even want to help.

Vein, have a hug and know that I'm here for you.
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#16 of 20 Old 10-25-2003, 08:48 PM
 
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I wash all DH's clothes and I even meticulously hang them all up as soon as the dryer goes off. But iron? Puh-leeze. Never happening. Besides, my ironing skills suck big time.

He can find places to press his shirts for about 89 cents a shirt. I think it should come out his allowance as well, but I'm mean like that.
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#17 of 20 Old 10-26-2003, 06:41 AM
 
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The wrinkle free shirts these days are pretty good. Maybe get him an iron and board for Christmas and have the pad on the iron embroidered with his name..lol. Give him all iron related supplies in his stocking too so that he can have all that he needs.

Mom to 10yo Autistic Wonder Boy and 6yo Inquisitive Fireball Girl . December birthdays.

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#18 of 20 Old 10-26-2003, 01:08 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You guys are great. Shiny gold stars for everyone.

I told him again while we were "discussing" it yesterday that I'd be happy to drag the iron out for him to use, but I would NOT be doing anything further after hanging the shirts up from the dryer.

I also told him he'd not be happy if he didn't have something to bitch at, but that's a whole other story entirely. :

Ms. Mom: You rock. I do offer him an hour by hour rundown on my day when he gets home, which seems to wear him out enough so that he now NEVER complains when I didn't get everything done. I told him I'd switch places with him for a day to see how much stuff HE got done, but oddly, he wasn't too receptive to that idea. :LOL

Thanks for the link Jane - I'll have to read it. I'd heard that they were actually using Prozac in depressed rats, so it's good to know if I can't take it anymore there are options that may work with Ms Psycho. (Did I forget to mention the time she pooed in the shower and we didn't notice it until my SO stepped in it for his morning shower? hahahahaha)

Once again, you guys all rock.

Now I shall be off to eat some bonbons (it's the weekend, you know, I'm allowed) and iron his socks. Maybe I can melt the fake fibers together and make them all sticky with chocolaty fingers.

(Hey, that thought alone almost prompts me to bring out the iron!)
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#19 of 20 Old 10-26-2003, 06:00 PM
 
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:LOL :LOL

Glad you're doing better, vein!
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#20 of 20 Old 10-26-2003, 08:02 PM
 
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Sorry, allow me to finish my bonbons before continuing
:LOL :LOL
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