Pregnancy Dreams ??? Do Tell!!! - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 31 Old 03-07-2011, 10:58 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Pregnancy dreams are driving me crazy. Not only are they weird, but sometimes they are downright creepy. I realize I am dealing with trauma from losing my twins 2 years ago...but, honestly, I just thought maybe I would ask all of YOU to tell me YOUR dreams each day, it might be a really cathartic journey for us all to share our crazy pregnant dreams and maybe even interpret them just for fun...maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone and would have a place to go when my dreams drive me insane. . . .

Here's my latest and greatest.

I am standing outside under a beautiful blue sky holding a little baby...who is, of course, a boy...and a little girl with pig tails and an inquisitive look comes up to me and says "Is that baby going to die too?"

I tear up and hold the baby very close to me and say "NO!" intently...but then, I look down and the baby has turned into a purple OCTOPUS and is wriggling in my arms trying to get away from me. In my dismay, I grab on to it tighter and start crying "I want my Happy Jack back!" And I squeeze too tightly and the octopus goes limp in my arms. Dead. I woke up crying that I wanted my Happy Jack.

goodvibes.gif ... I am going to need some support this pregnancy it seems. Obviously. And maybe some more therapy. eyesroll.gif

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#2 of 31 Old 03-07-2011, 11:34 AM
 
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Butterfly,  Here are some hug2.gif coming your way!

 

As for dreams, I can't seem to remember mine these days, but I have hundreds every night. This morning in the time that it took my alarm clock to snooze, I had 2 separate dreams. I wake up feeling exhausted from it every morning.


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#3 of 31 Old 03-07-2011, 12:05 PM
 
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hug2.gif What a sad dream.

 

I don't usually remember dreams, except when pregnant and then they are mostly really weird.

 

During my last pregnancy I kept having dreams about having to go back to Scotland while pregnant and being stranded there after giving birth without DH as we couldn't get a passport for the baby as both countries said it was the other countries issue.

 

This time I've had quite a few dreams about nursing (or lack thereof) of this new baby which was just me processing some of my anxiety over having to give up nursing DS too early.

 

I did have one weird/crazy one a few nights ago where I had a dream that Kirk Cameron decided to become a 7th Grade History teacher at our Church school. On his very first day at his first lesson he did such a great job of getting the children excited about history they were really noisy, so he got called into the Pastor's office where he got into a lot of trouble from the school principle and the Pastor for making education too enjoyable. Like I said it was a random weird dream.


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#4 of 31 Old 03-08-2011, 10:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Here's another for the books.... eyesroll.gif

I am walking down a path that is familiar to me. It is summer time and there are purple and yellow butterflies all over the place. All of a sudden, I see the rock that is the marker for my twins ashes. Only...instead of being about 2 feet long...it's about the size of a house.

I walk up to it and notice that there is a door in the side of the rock. A purple door. I walk inside and find myself in a golden field like the one I saw when I had my near death experiences when my twins (and I) died. And I see them both playing together. My twins. Simon and Alexander. But, they don't see me...they are just chatting and playing chess. I just stood there and watched them, loving how beautiful they were. Suddenly a golden butterfly lands on my shoulder and I turn around and walk out the door, just looking over my shoulder to see them again, but they are gone. I walk out with the butterfly on my shoulder and as we hit the bright sunlight of "the real world" the butterfly explodes scared.gif and in it's place is a little monkey sitting on my shoulder.

For some reason, this seems perfectly normal to have happened and I just keep walking. When I arrive home, I say to my sons "hey...look, I found a monkey in the gully." And my 14 year old, who is wearing a top hat, walks over, picks up the monkey and puts it in a baby cradle where it explodes yikes2.gif into the form of a baby that needs a diaper change badly.

So, I pick up the baby and start to change it's diaper. And I'm kind of excited to see what it will be and then.... dust.gif

My husband jumped so much in his sleep that it woke me up before I got to see what it was!! He sat upright in his bed and said "did we win?"

Apparently, he'd been dreaming he was playing lacrosse. wild.gif


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#5 of 31 Old 03-08-2011, 12:45 PM
 
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Butterfly, what a vivid dream! I love how dreams seem so normal at the time, but when you reflect on them they seem so strange.

 

Last night I had a frustrating dream. I walked into a doctor's office for a pre-natal appointment and went to sit down while DH checked me in. When he came back he had a band-aid on his shoulder and when I asked him why he said that the doctor gave him a shot and wanted to give one to me too. When I got into the exam room, they had a needle ready to inject me, and the doctor was handing me a bunch of pills, telling me when to take them. I was so angry that they didn't get my permission first, and asked WHY they were doing this, was something wrong with me/the baby, what was in the medicine, etc. They just laughed at me and said that it was so complicated that I couldn't possibly understand. I kept fighting with them and never quite understood why it was happening. The whole time my DH was just sitting there, not doing anything.

 

When I woke up and told DH, he apologized for not sticking up for me! I know it was just a dream, but I guess my fear of being taken advantage-of by doctors is still stronger than I thought it was. This is one reason that I am having a homebirth AND a doula. Because of where we live, my midwife couldn't come with me if I had to transfer to a hospital in birth, so I made sure to have a doula too, just in case. But I think I'll have to talk over my fears a bit more, so that she and DH can support me, just in case.

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#6 of 31 Old 03-08-2011, 07:00 PM
 
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Hugs Emerging butterfly.

I can't post the dreams I've been having because I'm pretty sure they violate the UA shy.gif

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#7 of 31 Old 03-08-2011, 07:43 PM
 
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“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.”
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#8 of 31 Old 03-09-2011, 10:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I love hearing about other peoples dreams! It's all so interesting to hear about variations in the psyche....we're all so unique, but in our dreams....even more so! sleeping.gif

During the first few months of this pregnancy...I dreamed of dead babies. A lot. A LOT. Woke up sweating and crying. Often. I don't expect that to change really....but...I'm enjoying a few more happy weird dreams in the mix too.

Last night in my dreams...... sleepytime.gif

I am flying next to my Old English Sheepdog (yes...I did say flying... superhero.gif ) . . .My Old English Sheepie is named Ferdinand, and sometimes I call him my Fur friend. So, ANYWAY...I am flying next to him and Fur-friend suddenly cocks his head at me and says "You know...you really shouldn't be so freaked out about eating your placenta...my mom did it. eat.gif " I start laughing so hard at the image of chowing down on a bloody placenta that I start to fall out of the sky, but I'm laughing, so I wasn't scared of the fall. I end up landing on the tip of a mountain, balancing on my big pregnant belly...and I'm STUCK there like a cartoon character . My Fur-friend glides down and picks me up my the scruff of my neck and tosses me into the sea where a bunch of dolphins start tossing me around like a ball. (And...I literally LOOK like a small planet with legs and arms in the dream) While I am being tossed around, I get POPPED by one of the dolphins noses and I start to deflate like a balloon! privateeyes.gif I spin around and around until I land in a hot mineral pool where I suddenly give birth to a small purple hippo with long eyelashes. Fur friend suddenly lands next to me and says "Now don't forget to eat that placenta!"

And...then I woke up. tiphat.gif

SO...thanks ladies for all that placenta munching talk! I always like learning something new.... blowkiss.gif

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#9 of 31 Old 03-10-2011, 07:34 AM
 
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Emerging butterfly, I have had a lot of really disturbing and scary dreams too.  The funny ones are such a relief!

 

Last night I dreamed that I had my baby, but was having a hard time bonding with him.  Why?  Well, he was quite large (about the size of a 1 year old), had long black mullet-like hair, and STUBBLE on his face!  Like a 5 o'clock shadow!  Which I found disturbing.  But then I felt guilty for not loving him as he was, and decided to try breastfeeding him.  I went into his room, where he was lying in his crib.  I had a bagel in my hand that I was planning on eating.  He started to TALK and told me to give him the bagel!  I said no, that he'd just been born and I wasn't supposed to give him solid foods yet.  He continued to argue with me about it!  I picked him up out of the crib and then he turned into a little kitten and ran and hid behind a couch.

 

I felt like such a bad mom!


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#10 of 31 Old 03-11-2011, 11:37 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Chaika View Post

Emerging butterfly, I have had a lot of really disturbing and scary dreams too.  The funny ones are such a relief!

 

Last night I dreamed that I had my baby, but was having a hard time bonding with him.  Why?  Well, he was quite large (about the size of a 1 year old), had long black mullet-like hair, and STUBBLE on his face!  Like a 5 o'clock shadow!  Which I found disturbing.  But then I felt guilty for not loving him as he was, and decided to try breastfeeding him.  I went into his room, where he was lying in his crib.  I had a bagel in my hand that I was planning on eating.  He started to TALK and told me to give him the bagel!  I said no, that he'd just been born and I wasn't supposed to give him solid foods yet.  He continued to argue with me about it!  I picked him up out of the crib and then he turned into a little kitten and ran and hid behind a couch.

 

I felt like such a bad mom!


thumbsup.gif Love it.... when we wake up feeling guilty or mad about our dream reality, that just really turns me upside down. I KNOW it's a dream...but still. I think it's funny that your baby had a mullet and stubble!!! So curious to have to follow him into adulthood to see if he LOOKS like that as a man! bouncy.gif I always imagined my 14 year old in a scottish cap, but never mentioned it because I didn't want to push my ideas on him...and this year when he entered highschool, he said "Mom...I'd really like a scottish cap" !!!!!!! I bought it for him, and he looks AMAZING in it...like he just "fits" it completely. I told him later that when ever I have had dreams with him in it...he always has had a scottish cap! He smiled at me and said..."You're so weirdly psychic mom."

So...onto my psychic nature....Last nights dream:

I am in Hawaii visiting my mother in law (she lives in Hawaii) with my family. I am in the ocean and I am swimming around. I yell over to my husband that I want to have my baby in the water. He gives me the thumbs up and gets up on a surf board to catch a suddenly very large wave that appears. I realize that this is not a normal wave and I swim quickly to him and start yelling to my MIL to get the kids and run. The wave keeps climbing and climbing. I scream that it's a tsunami and that we have to get OUT of there. My husband grabs me onto the surf board and we start flying on the wave faster and faster. I can see my MIL and kids running to the car. I woke up covered in sweat. When I got on the computer this morning....I was greeted by the headline about the 8.6 earthquake that blasted japan with a tsunami killing hundreds if not thousands and was alerted to the fact that Hawaii was in tsunami warning. Called my husband to tell him about it and then my MIL, who did not answer her phone (it was 4 a.m. her time) which told me she was heading safely toward higher ground...she ALWAYS answers her phone no matter what time it is...and so I left a message, and waited.

Luckily...she is fine, and there was minimal damage to her area. But...can you say FREAKY!!??? In addition, when I got up this morning, my husband was already awake (It was 5:30 a.m....early even for him) And he told me he woke up feeling completely panicked inside and couldn't tell if it was just that there was something crazy going on in the world, or if he should be worrying more about this pregnancy. I held him while he cried...I know that kind of anxiety all too well. I told him about my dream and then he went off to work. As he was in route, I saw the headline and called him right away. He was worried about his mom, and dismayed about Japan....but said "Well...at least I know it's just that their is just something crazy happening in the world, and everything is fine with the baby instead."

Priorities... dizzy.gif

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#11 of 31 Old 03-11-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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I've had so many bad ones. One involved a naked, deathly ill newborn that someone thrust on me and I was thinking "Thank God I have milk." So I took care of it and nursed it, which is a very long story short and the most disturbing one was where my DH and I were abusing our 4 year old DS, nothing like gruesome but bruising him because we were always mad at him and then we were trying to figure out how we were ever going to cover it up. I woke up sobbing and didn't even want to tell my DH. I worry about DS2's behavior all the time and I worry about the best way to parent him so I'm sure it stemmed from that but it was such a horrific dream I pray I NEVER have anything like that in my dreams again. 


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#12 of 31 Old 03-11-2011, 12:48 PM
 
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Emerging butterfly...whoa!  That is freaky!


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#13 of 31 Old 03-12-2011, 07:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's terrible when we have dreams that we are doing something we would NEVER see ourselves doing. Once my 3rd son woke up crying that in his dream I had flushed his "nice older brother " (my second son) down the toilet! I remember holding him while he cried telling him I would NEVER flush his sweet brother down the toilet. Later, in hindsight, I realized that because our eldest was so hard, our 2nd, who was sooooo sweet and easy, was clearly being more ignored than he would have been without his older brother....and i remembered the dream and thought "Oh GOD...It's like I'm flushing him down the toilet just because he is EASY!" That shook me back into really attending to my easy sweet children....even though it was the oldest that demanded more of us. At some point it was just realized that what was happening was NOT fair.

So yeah....dreams continue to be odd....Here's last nights! :

I am with my family in a weird family van....the steering wheel is in the middle of the van. There is this feeling that we have fled from our home in America to "somewhere else" due to some crisis. I am telling my husband I'm so glad we got out in time and begin to tell him that at my 7 year old's last doctor appointment, he had insisted there were dragons, and I had insisted there were not. (this part is true!) But my son had asked me after my insistent logic if I did not believe in anything I could not see...and I had to reply that actually, I am quite sure there are many things that I believe in that I can not see, and possibly will never see, and that I believe in things that others may not believe in to (still true.) So he put his hands on his little hips and squinted his smiling eyes and said "Well then, how can you be so sure dragons are not real???!!" I shook his hand (still a real life part that has worked its way into my dream...) and said "You got me Barrett...I can not know just because I've never actually seen one. They may exist in some dimension I may never see." In the dream, I am telling my husband about this conversation that I actually had NOT in a dream, and it seems perfectly natural to do this.

We are driving in this incredible place....brilliant green mountains and blue ocean crashing against the beaches below....the sky is electric blue. The kids are singing "99 bottles of root beer on the wall" and my sheepdog is singing with them...in a human voice. This seems perfectly normal in the dream.

Suddenly, I look up and see a BIG bird.....only.....it's NOT a bird. It's a BIG purple and yellow dragon with red wings!!! It's doing these amazing acrobatics in the sky and I turn around and say "BARRETT!!! DO YOU SEE THAT??? YOU WERE RIGHT!!!! There really ARE dragons!!!!! They live HERE!!!! " He just laughs with his smiley eyes and says "Of course they are real. I've always known THAT!" And continues singing with his brothers.....and our dog.


Now...I must admit, when I awoke, I thought about my tsunami dream and I wondered...just for a moment....if maybe...just maybe....Dragons really were real. Somewhere. Bolt.gif


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#14 of 31 Old 03-13-2011, 11:51 PM
 
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Last night I dreamed I ran into The Ex Fiance at the conference I'm attending right now. He wanted me back but he had a new dream-baby with his dream-wife so I was like sorry shmoopy, love you but you have to go work it out with her.

And in a different one, my pregnant belly like... fell off?
I was talking to a friend and she was like OMG what happened and I look down and my pregnant belly is sagging all the way down to my knees. I'm gathering up my stomach freaking out but I guess my uterus and the baby were fine. It's just all support had given way so it was hanging free in this big sack of loose skin. It was really gross and really freaky.

“What is evil? Killing is evil, lying is evil, slandering is evil, abuse is evil, gossip is evil: envy is evil, hatred is evil, to cling to false doctrine is evil; all these things are evil. And what is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.”
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#15 of 31 Old 03-14-2011, 10:38 AM
 
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I've had some doozy dreams, so the most recent is pretty tame but it's sort of odd.

not the dream - I started making a baby blanket with undyed organic cotton yarn - so soft - off-white and tan...

So - the dream - I dreamt that I got pretty far in my blanket but for some reason I changed the pattern and added blue.  One side of the blanket had some funky geometric shapes and the other side looked like something from an astronomy magazine - something from physics class.

It was just odd.


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#16 of 31 Old 03-14-2011, 11:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Giggles about a belly falling off ! If only it was that easy!! bow.gif

Last night I dreamed that I was in a pod in some sort of goo. Just floating around. An alien (I assume it was an alien because it had eyes above its head. BIG eyes.) kept inserting a long needle into my hips removing clear fluid. And it HURT. But...It was almost like I just watching a movie, because I could not do anything about it. He went to stick a needle in my belly and I screamed...and woke up.

And my hips HURT like crazy!!!!!

grossedout.gif

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#17 of 31 Old 03-19-2011, 08:33 AM
 
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Last night I had a dream I was being chased by zombies and I was trying to kill them to save myself but it wasn't working very well.

And then this morning I had another dream - that I was on vacation on a beach in North Carolina (never been).  We were enjoying the sun and then the tide came in a little and all of us got wet from the wave.  Then the water line retracted really far back, and we all decided to run to higher ground.  I kept calling for my dog - and then I woke up. 

Being pregnant wasn't really a part of either dream.  It seem like whenever I have sex dreams (I think I had one of those last night too), being pregnant is always a concern - especially if I am not having sex with my husband in the dream.

It was a busy night in my subconscious.


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#18 of 31 Old 03-19-2011, 10:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Two nights ago, I had a dream that my husband (who is, in real life, a sweet, gentle, therapeutic, talkative, loving and sensitive man....) was screaming at everyone. Then, he took a gun (my husband does not like guns, war, anything violent of any kind) and shot my beautiful, darling Old English Sheepdog in the head and then, shot himself. I woke up sobbing uncontrollably. As he was comforting me, he realized that he was the monster in my dream and it really hurt his feelings. He asked me if I would consider trying medical marijuana in capsule form to help me sleep better. His clients have great success with it, and he's convinced it is one of the better medicines out there for a variety of ailments...including anxiety. He was serious, but I had to laugh because as he well knows...the smell of MJ makes me completely ill for hours (see my "yeah yeah...but..." post. ) So that solution is an "absolutely NOT!" We hugged and he promised never to shoot my dog, me, our children or himself and then he gave me a very nice massage. As he massaged, (and he is SOOOO good at massage...) he said that he understood that my PTSD from losing our twins is manifesting in a dream world wherein everything I can trust in real life becomes mangled and unpredictable. He said he was sorry for anything that he has said or done that would lead me to feel any tension about his stability, that he IS stressed, and that he will try harder to be gentle. (!!!! Again...this is the sweetest man in the world.)

I started crying again. I told him I'm so afraid. So afraid of this baby dieing too. So afraid of what that would do to him...to us.

Won't I feel like an idiot when all goes well and I think of all the emotion and anxiety I allowed to screw with me when I could have been happy???

Last night, I dreamed we had opened an infant day care. We were caring for 6 other babies. Not including our new baby...so 7 babies all in all. My husband picked up one and said "Oh, by the way, this is our eldest son's baby....apparently, he got his girlfriend pregnant." And I simply said "Oh. So, I'm a grandmother now? My baby is an Uncle? Why is this the first time I am hearing about it?" My husband shrugged, popped the grandbaby in a sling and went off to play with the other babies. Then, I realized that I was breaking the day care law by not vaccinating my baby and I told my husband that I wanted to delay vaccinations because our baby's brothers had all been very sensitive to vaccinations and had done much better when they were delayed over a period of 7 years....and that I didn't want all these other babies around. But my husband said... " Just write down that you did it and leave it at that. I don't want to be a therapist anymore, I can't take all the pain. I want to hold babies and heal my heart. I want to hold babies forever. I want to be with people who haven't been hurt yet...and I want to protect them."
When I woke up, I told my husband about my dream...and he looked at me with wide eyes, and showed me his journal entry that morning (he gets up early to meditate and write in his journal) It said "I want to take care of babies and heal my heart. I want to be with people who have not been damaged by the world yet. I want to protect them. How can I stop being a therapist when my family needs the income so much? What should I do?"

He then said "Sara...I don't think you should take medical Marijuana anymore. You need your dream waves to be clear. Something is up with you."

Yeah...something is up with me. Ever since my near death experiences at our loss....I've been a complete freak. privateeyes.gif

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#19 of 31 Old 03-19-2011, 11:16 AM
 
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I always have crazy, lucid dreams.  So pregnancy only makes things even more interesting for me and usually includes a lot of nightmares.

 

Last night I had a dream that my favorite psychic was insisting to me that not only was I pregnant with a girl, but that there was two of them in there!  This is the same psychic who told me (in real life lol) that it was a boy a long time ago.  In my dream, I was not at all impressed with that news.  Especially the twin part lol.

 

I know it was just a random pregnant dream, but I am a little more eager now to get to my ultrasound on Tuesday and put any lingering doubt in my mind to rest!

 

 

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#20 of 31 Old 03-19-2011, 01:36 PM
 
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Wow - I might start to fear going to sleep with the dreams you are having.  Have you thought about writing a book?

I am so sorry you haven't found relief in your dream world and for all the pain you have been through.

Your story is so touching.

 

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Two nights ago, I had a dream that my husband (who is, in real life, a sweet, gentle, therapeutic, talkative, loving and sensitive man....) was screaming at everyone. Then, he took a gun (my husband does not like guns, war, anything violent of any kind) and shot my beautiful, darling Old English Sheepdog in the head and then, shot himself. I woke up sobbing uncontrollably. As he was comforting me, he realized that he was the monster in my dream and it really hurt his feelings. He asked me if I would consider trying medical marijuana in capsule form to help me sleep better. His clients have great success with it, and he's convinced it is one of the better medicines out there for a variety of ailments...including anxiety. He was serious, but I had to laugh because as he well knows...the smell of MJ makes me completely ill for hours (see my "yeah yeah...but..." post. ) So that solution is an "absolutely NOT!" We hugged and he promised never to shoot my dog, me, our children or himself and then he gave me a very nice massage. As he massaged, (and he is SOOOO good at massage...) he said that he understood that my PTSD from losing our twins is manifesting in a dream world wherein everything I can trust in real life becomes mangled and unpredictable. He said he was sorry for anything that he has said or done that would lead me to feel any tension about his stability, that he IS stressed, and that he will try harder to be gentle. (!!!! Again...this is the sweetest man in the world.)

I started crying again. I told him I'm so afraid. So afraid of this baby dieing too. So afraid of what that would do to him...to us.

Won't I feel like an idiot when all goes well and I think of all the emotion and anxiety I allowed to screw with me when I could have been happy???

Last night, I dreamed we had opened an infant day care. We were caring for 6 other babies. Not including our new baby...so 7 babies all in all. My husband picked up one and said "Oh, by the way, this is our eldest son's baby....apparently, he got his girlfriend pregnant." And I simply said "Oh. So, I'm a grandmother now? My baby is an Uncle? Why is this the first time I am hearing about it?" My husband shrugged, popped the grandbaby in a sling and went off to play with the other babies. Then, I realized that I was breaking the day care law by not vaccinating my baby and I told my husband that I wanted to delay vaccinations because our baby's brothers had all been very sensitive to vaccinations and had done much better when they were delayed over a period of 7 years....and that I didn't want all these other babies around. But my husband said... " Just write down that you did it and leave it at that. I don't want to be a therapist anymore, I can't take all the pain. I want to hold babies and heal my heart. I want to hold babies forever. I want to be with people who haven't been hurt yet...and I want to protect them."
When I woke up, I told my husband about my dream...and he looked at me with wide eyes, and showed me his journal entry that morning (he gets up early to meditate and write in his journal) It said "I want to take care of babies and heal my heart. I want to be with people who have not been damaged by the world yet. I want to protect them. How can I stop being a therapist when my family needs the income so much? What should I do?"

He then said "Sara...I don't think you should take medical Marijuana anymore. You need your dream waves to be clear. Something is up with you."

Yeah...something is up with me. Ever since my near death experiences at our loss....I've been a complete freak. privateeyes.gif


 


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Jonah - born 7/21/11!  100% natural hospital birth.
  
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#21 of 31 Old 03-19-2011, 05:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by CrazyCatLady View Post

I always have crazy, lucid dreams.  So pregnancy only makes things even more interesting for me and usually includes a lot of nightmares.

 

Last night I had a dream that my favorite psychic was insisting to me that not only was I pregnant with a girl, but that there was two of them in there!  This is the same psychic who told me (in real life lol) that it was a boy a long time ago.  In my dream, I was not at all impressed with that news.  Especially the twin part lol.

 

I know it was just a random pregnant dream, but I am a little more eager now to get to my ultrasound on Tuesday and put any lingering doubt in my mind to rest!

 

 


Yeah...I'm (obviously) plagued by lucid vivid crazy dreams...pregnancy makes them more intense, but especially this time around. I'd love twins...but, that's perhaps part of what makes me crazy. so many people, after our twins died, were all "Oh wow...but twins would have been so hard"....sigh....yeah...hard, but wonderful. I would have loved it. When my midwife saw that we had one this time she said "Well, I'll bet you are glad it's not twins." No. No. I am not "glad". I'm glad there is a healthy baby in there...but, I'm not "glad" it's not twins. I know I "should be. But, I'm not. I don't want this baby to be what it isn't. I just want my twins back. But, for your sake, since you would be not thrilled, I hope for you that your psychic was right! wink1.gif
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Wow - I might start to fear going to sleep with the dreams you are having.  Have you thought about writing a book?

I am so sorry you haven't found relief in your dream world and for all the pain you have been through.

Your story is so touching.

 



 

ha...a book. Yes...I am writing a book, but not about my dreams. My dreams are more like horror movie material. heh heh. redface.gif I'm writing a book about grief and loss. It's a social commentary really....My husband is an author in addition to being a therapist...so, it seems to just be something we "do" here. Hopefully someone will want to read it when I am done. praying.gif


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#22 of 31 Old 04-27-2011, 08:56 PM
 
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I'm bumping this thread up because I had the worst nightmare I've ever had-- and I mean ever-- last night.  It was so bad I couldn't shake it all day.  So bad that I don't even want to type it, b/c if I put the words out into the cosmos it might be bad juju.

 

It involved water, and my son, and I was absolutely helpless regardless of my skills in CPR.  And everyone gave up around me, including DH.

 

Ok so WTF is that about?!  I should probably also note that drowning is my absolute number one worst fear (I almost drowned when I was about 6 years old, and still don't like swimming because of it).  so you can imagine how shaken up I was when I woke up.  I had to hold DS (we cosleep) for like 5 minutes before he squirmed out of my arms.  I didn't want to take my eyes off of him all day.

 

So thanks for letting me share.  any good interpreters out there?  On the positive, I'm not prone to having foreshadowing or psychic moments or anything, so it truly was just a dream.  But am I going nuts?

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#23 of 31 Old 04-28-2011, 07:33 AM
 
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Oh cakemama! Hugs.  That sounds like a terrifying dream!!

 

I'm no expert, but to me it seems like with the new baby coming, you don't want to let go of the relationship/attachment with your son.  But you can't help it.  Things are going to change.  And everyone else giving up to me seems like you feel like no one else thinks this is a big deal, or maybe no one else is acting like things are going to change b/w you and your son.  Frantically you're trying to hold on to and save your relationship, and your subconscious interprets this struggle as your biggest fear (drowning) coming true.

 

Plus usually dreaming of drowning means you feel overwhelmed or "in over your head".  So combine the two and there you go. 

 

Still, doesnt make it easier to shake a scary ass dream.  Hugs hugs HUGS!!

 

I think my rollercoaster dreams are pretty similar in some ways.  Though I generally like rollercoasters I think it makes even more sense that I find myself on a really good one and then realize, "OMG WTF I can't be on this ride!!?" -- so to me that's just basically my life right now.  I love babies and having children, but holy crap I'm having a baby!!!  In just a few months!!  WTF!?  And with some of them involving DD being on a ride she's not big enough/old enough for -- well to me that's just plain and simple.  I feel like she's still a baby, MY baby, and that she's not ready for this "ride" we're about to go on.

 


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#24 of 31 Old 04-28-2011, 08:24 AM
 
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I had my first "labor dream" last night.

 

It was sooooo vivid I woke up after expecting to see that little baby lying next to me.

 

I was having my home birth, and it was all going smoothly UNTIL the baby got into the birth canal. The pain was so intense I thought I was going to rip apart. Then the bay stopped descending. The baby just stayed there, head in the birth canal, causing me to most terrible pain, while the midwife & DH kept telling me to move and change positions. I was trying everything we could think of, but the baby just would not come out. It seemed like the baby was in there for hours before the head finally came out and the baby smiled at me.

 

I know that is was partly my subconscious effort to deal with DS being "stuck" for as long as he was. However I was glad that this time the baby did eventually come out the way babies are meant to come out of our bodies.

 

I can't remember when I last had a dream that was so complete in detail and still so vivid after I woke up. I just hope that when it comes to birthing this baby for real that the journey through the birth canal doesn't take several hours.

 

Cakemamma, I agree with Carrie. Sounds like a metaphor for your relationship with your son, and how things are going to change no matter how much you try to stop it. I don't think anyone ever sees how important this is except us Mammas.

 


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#25 of 31 Old 04-28-2011, 08:54 AM
 
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Wow you ladies all are hving some doozies AFM I have bixare dreams too. most of them are of horrible labors?! and for the first time the other night I had a "gender " dream! labor was not bad at all. short, and it was a boy. I was so excited! and  I am wondering if IRL baby was trying to tell me its gender for real? we have been trying to find out, but now give up and are waiting till birth day. It was nice to have that dream, with my other DD's I never had a dream about gender!

 

 


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#26 of 31 Old 04-28-2011, 10:15 AM
 
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I dreamed that I could really really feel him through my belly - could even see his little penis against my skin and he was moving a lot, getting to be head down. I did a little shake thing and he came out into my hands (through my belly), but not all the way out. He was beautiful and I went to show my mother and she PINCHED his cheek until he cried so I yelled at her a lot and she rolled her eyes at me and I yelled some more and put him back and am still kind of mad at her ;)


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#27 of 31 Old 04-28-2011, 11:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm bumping this thread up because I had the worst nightmare I've ever had-- and I mean ever-- last night.  It was so bad I couldn't shake it all day.  So bad that I don't even want to type it, b/c if I put the words out into the cosmos it might be bad juju.

 

It involved water, and my son, and I was absolutely helpless regardless of my skills in CPR.  And everyone gave up around me, including DH.

 

Ok so WTF is that about?!  I should probably also note that drowning is my absolute number one worst fear (I almost drowned when I was about 6 years old, and still don't like swimming because of it).  so you can imagine how shaken up I was when I woke up.  I had to hold DS (we cosleep) for like 5 minutes before he squirmed out of my arms.  I didn't want to take my eyes off of him all day.

 

So thanks for letting me share.  any good interpreters out there?  On the positive, I'm not prone to having foreshadowing or psychic moments or anything, so it truly was just a dream.  But am I going nuts?

I totally understand about having dreams that you barely even want to utter....I have those a lot. I would guess that because drowning is your worst fear, you are translating it in your dream as the very real vulnerability that IS being a mother. I often dream that my kids are falling off cliffs, getting hit by cars, being stolen. It always totally devastates me. Recently, I had a dream that I was at a fancy stuck up country club, but I couldn't find my husband. I ran out to the golf course and found him there having sex with an older man. I woke up with my heart pounding and tears running down my face. I walked upstairs and fell into my husbands arms (he was upstairs doing his morning I ching reading...) and started sobbing that I couldn't take it if he ever cheated on me. I told him the dream. I'm glad he's so understanding. He wasn't offended that I'd dreamed of him having sex with an older man. He was actually touched, because, to him, it helped him see how concerned I am about the lack of father support in his life. He assured me he wasn't cheating, nor thinking of cheating, nor wanting to have sex with anyone but me. No matter how good looking the old man might have been. Ha. Ha. Ha. I do love my man....he's very reasonable. duck.gif
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Wow you ladies all are hving some doozies AFM I have bixare dreams too. most of them are of horrible labors?! and for the first time the other night I had a "gender " dream! labor was not bad at all. short, and it was a boy. I was so excited! and  I am wondering if IRL baby was trying to tell me its gender for real? we have been trying to find out, but now give up and are waiting till birth day. It was nice to have that dream, with my other DD's I never had a dream about gender!

 

 

So far, I am 7 for 7 with my gender dreams....For each of my sons, including our lost twins, I dreamed I was having a little girl. For my gestating daughter, I dreamed I was having a little boy. So....Go figure. I decided that it must be me getting to meet their feminine or masculine side since I'd get to live with the opposite on earth, and it would be important to remember that every child has both aspects to their being. blowkiss.gif
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I dreamed that I could really really feel him through my belly - could even see his little penis against my skin and he was moving a lot, getting to be head down. I did a little shake thing and he came out into my hands (through my belly), but not all the way out. He was beautiful and I went to show my mother and she PINCHED his cheek until he cried so I yelled at her a lot and she rolled her eyes at me and I yelled some more and put him back and am still kind of mad at her wink1.gif

See above dream...I totally understand carrying emotions from the dream world into the conscious world. I was DEVASTATED to see my husband having sex with a man in my dream. I would have been equally upset about a woman, but maybe my unconscious knows that I couldn't take THAT at all.....horrors.gif I had a dream once about my mother in law that completely convinced me for the ongoing period of our relationship, even in to NOW, that she is completely idiotic. Not really fair, since she did what she did in a DREAM, but really....it wasn't that far off. duh.gif

last night..I woke up hearing my husband crying in his sleep. I woke him up quickly and he grabbed me fiercely and just held me, sniffing...then, he told me he had dreamed that I'd fallen down a long flight of stairs, and that he couldn't save me. He was so worried about me, and our baby...and he couldn't save me in time. It was my turn to comfort him...I told him it hadn't been his fault that we'd lost our twins. I told him I felt protected by him, and that all we could do was move forward and hope our little buttercup will be delivered to us safely. We can only hope....We are doing everything we can.

He got up early...I could hear him cleaning the stairs with a vacuum. He moved all the shoes off the stairs (we usually have the kids line them up on each step to the side...) He moved the little seat at the top of the stairs. He moved ANYTHING that could be an obstacle. It looks fantastic. He hugged me before he went to work and said "Please be careful..."

Oh...boy...DREAMS!!!!! dizzy.gif


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#28 of 31 Old 04-29-2011, 05:46 AM
 
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I just want to take all you women around with me in my pocket all day-- you are so helpful! 

 

Carrie-- your rollercoaster dreams DO sound familiar.  all of these deep seated metaphors for our lives.

 

Lynann-- I'm so glad the baby finally came out-- and was smiling! 

 

Butterfly-- I would have been soooo shaken if I had a dream like that about DH!  Although, I would have been totally pissed off when I woke up, and probably would have taken it out on him for hours! lol.

 

 

Thanks again, I am finally able to put the dream behind me!

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#29 of 31 Old 04-29-2011, 07:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Cakemama...yeah, I was shaken all right, and I felt embarrassed that I needed comforting and reassurance after a dream. Seriously...I am SO glad he's a therapist....cause I really NEED him to understand. But yeah, dreams are a lot like "seeing" the real thing. You have the image in your head...as if you have really SEEN what you dreamed about. In my case, I saw my husband, in my dream, having sex with a man. Not something I want to have an image of. And yet...it's THERE. gack. He's been ultra attentive the past few days (and he's nice and attentive already!) Including being reassuring intimately about the fact that he finds me desirable. It's helpful, because he knows my brain. wild.gif

So....last night, I had a dream that I was in the ocean, swimming around, and something kept bumping into my belly. I put my head under the water, found I could breathe and sort of looked around. Then, I saw a little girl with an impish grin swimming below me...she was tossing sea urchins and star fish and sea glass up and tapping my belly with them. Thump. Thump. Thump. I woke up and FELT HER MOVING!!! (this is a big deal...as I usually can't feel her much) And...I was so glad. Then, I heard my poor sheepdog retching, and turned on the night light just in time to see him vomit up something that looked like a banana peel...ick. I woke DH up to clean it. He grumbled that it was my dog. I reminded him that he'd also have MY vomit to deal with if he made me touch it. He said it was the least he could do to help out since he was so busy having sex with men in my dreams. We both laughed and snuggled back into bed. stillheart.gif

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#30 of 31 Old 04-29-2011, 08:02 AM
 
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cakemama, I'm sorry you had such a horrible dream.  I've been having incredibly vivid dreams almost every night for the last month or so.  They are all so realistic that I walk about in a daze for the first couple of hours of my day, hardly believing that my real life is, well.....real!  The night before last I dreamed that I was being chased by a bunch of people who were trying to kill me and I had to kill them all to keep myself safe.  It was so disturbing to wake up and expect to see blood on my hands.  I can still see the details so clearly, and the guilt just won't shake.  Even thought they were trying to kill me, I just can't feel good about taking another life, much less 6 other lives.

 

I never had dreams this disturbing or VIVID with the boys, and I would really love for them to stop.  I hate them, and I'm starting to dread sleeping at night, which probably accounts for the naps I've been having to take every couple of days again.


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