Our FAST unplanned unassisted birth story - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 03:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I had my first contraction at my inlaw's house. We were visiting and I was getting tired after we had a long day of shopping in the states. I looked at the time and it was 11:10pm. The contraction hurt but I thought nothing of it since I had been having braxton-hicks/"false" labour throughout the week. Also it hurt but was totally bearable. I got up to do something and had another one a few minutes after the first but again, why would I think anything was happening with only 2 contractions. I called downstairs to my husband that I was tired and i wanted to go home because "my stomach hurts". I had one more as we got dd#1 ready to go.

We got in the car and contraction #4 came. It hurt and I had to wait for it to pass before being able to close the car door. That's when i checked the time. It was about 5 minutes since the last one. Told dh as we were driving that if they kept coming at this rate (5 minutes apart) then when we got home we'd time for half an hour and then call the midwives to give them a heads up.

On the way home I had 2 more contractions (ctx #5 and #6) again 5 minutes apart. Still undecided about whether or not this was "it" because I know that the "false" labour pains and the bad period cramps I used to get were worse.

Dd#1 fell asleep on the drive home (about 10-15min drive) so I walked in the house first while dh got dd out of the carseat. I walked in, took off my coat and had a contraction (#7) that hurt but I worked through by leaning over on the couch and rocking. when it was over I walked over to check the time and again it was 5 min.

Dh put dd in bed then walked back out to move the car. While he was gone, I had one more contraction (#8) and leaned up against the wall till it passed then thought I gotta use the washroom.

I went in, locked the door, finished up, had a strong contraction (#9), waited till it passed, and then flushed. I was still sitting (sorry TMI) and felt something between my legs. i thought "what *is* that??" I reached down and felt about an inch and a half to 2 inches of the amniotic sac and baby's head!

The moment i moved my hand and realized what it was (duh, what else could it have been?) my water broke with a big burst and the pressure/need to push was SO intense! I yelled to dh "THE BABY IS COMING! THE BABY IS COMING!"

He came to the door and was trying to turn the doorknob, he kept doing it and saying "open the door open the door!" but of course it was locked.

I tried reaching over (it was only about an inch away) but the pain was too intense and the baby's head was descending FAST! I yelled I cant! I cant! the head's coming and then yelled reallllly loud as her head came out.

In that instance I was able to just reach over far enough to open the door. Dh ran in and saw the baby's head and ran back out to call the midwives. The phone was dead!

He ran back in, I stood up and was crying and so loudly saying "It's coming! It's coming!"

I reached down to feel if the cord was around her neck (it wasnt) and then felt the strong urge to push again

Dh was in front of me and with a combination of my body doing the pushing and me consciously pushing (either once or twice at most) her body slipped out and dh and I caught her.

It was 11:50 pm, only 40 minutes after my first contraction (total of 9 contractions) came and we had only been home for 15 minutes subhonALLAH

As soon as she was out, dh ran to call the midwives. I reached down without looking to see if it was a boy or girl and yelled out to him "it's a boy it's a boy! (what i felt was the umbilical cord.lol) no no it's a girl!" lol

Immediately I sat back down on the toilet, placenta still inside and cord still attached. My legs were shaking badly and I felt weak. She let out a soft "eh" sound but nothing else and seemed limp to me. I was worried and crying and shouting to dh while he was on the phone paging the midwives "she's not crying, she's not crying"

I turned her over and was tapping her back hard to try to clear any mucous and get her to let out a cry(not because I wanted her to cry period, but just to have a sign she was OK--that together with the floppiness and eyes closed the whole time worried me). I also made the observation that she showed some signs of being postdates and was *very* dry when she came out with almost NO vernix whatsoever, long nails and dry skin.(no worries about that, just interesting i was 41 weeks 1 day when she was born)

Dh finished paging them but I had him call my friend, who is also a midwife, to ask her what I should do in the meantime. He called and she asked me some questions about the baby (memory is blurry, no idea what we talked about) and told us to keep her warm and if i could lie down. I yelled out to dh to tell her I cant move. I wanna stay sitting here I'm too scared to get up because my legs are so weak. she said that was fine and she was on her way.

We wrapped her up in some towels and dh did the tahneek (part of our religious rite of welcoming a newborn is for the father to chew/soften a date and give a taste to the newborn). Allahu akbar! God is Great! As soon as he did it, within seconds she opened her eyes and I felt immediate relief.

15 minutes after she was born the first midwife (midwife #1) arrived. I was still sitting in the same spot and the midwife came in and said "oh my" (lol) She asked me to push out the placenta and said that it had already detached from the cervix...I told her no i'm not pushing. she said you just pushed out a baby and did great, you can do it, it will feel so good when it comes out. lol. again I said nope i'm not pushing, I'm leaving it there...she kinda laughed and said Ok and clamped the cord and dh cut it.

He took the baby while she helped me out of the bathroom and onto the futon mattress dh had brought up from downstairs (when in the world did he do that????) She asked me to push a bit and she pressed on my abdomen to get the placenta out and she was right it felt sooo good to have it come out.

Sometime soon after, the second midwife (midwife #2 who was actually my primary midwife) arrived and after that my friend, her dh and 2 kids (who had all been sleeping when we called them). Her dh and kids went downstairs and she came up. A few minutes later my mom and sister arrived (we had called them while i was still in the washroom to tell them we had the baby and i asked my mom to come right away)

Midwife #1 went into the kitchen and was checking the placenta and whlie i was lying down I told her i wanted to see it. she brought it over and showed me which side baby was facing and showed me where the membrane was 'torn'. I remember thinking wow that placenta is huge since dd#1's was soo small.

They checked for tearing and I had a 2nd degree tear that needed to be stitched. Midwife #2 started to tell me what she was doing step-by-step as she had gotten to know me well enough that she knew I liked to know details about everything. well, at that point i did not. I told her Please do NOT tell me what you are doing. just do it. She injected the stuff to numb the area (lidocaine?) and i was tensing up from the pain. she felt around and I yelled It's not working! i can feel everything! (lol for someone who wanted an all-natural no-meds birth i was being very insistent on not feeling a single thing)

Before she started stitching I asked if i could have the baby to start nursing her (i had tried while in the washroom and she sucked only a few seconds, she was still really tired at that point) She asked me "do you think you can do it while i'm stitching and stay sane?" I said no nevermind.

I cant decide if the stitches or the birth hurt more. OW! I was squeezing dh's hand and my mom's hand soo hard while they did it. As she was stitching and when the pain was the most intense, I made supplication to Allah for our families, for my husband, for my friend and her family, and for my friends and for myself

Midwife #1 was making me very tense and anxious as she told midwife #2 what to do and how to do it even though I am 100% confident that if midwife #2 was on her own she would have done wonderfully. She is very competent and confident in what she does but with midwife #1 breathing down her neck, she made her nervous. I felt so bad for her.

at some point my friend was holding the baby and said "the baby's hungry"..they said they were almost done and soon thereafter they finished up. They took the baby's temp and found she was a little cold so midwife #1 started rubbing her all over to warm her up before weighing her. She put her in the sling and WOW! 8 lbs even! I felt amazed at how quickly things had gone with such a big baby. subhonALLAH

I needed lots of help turning to my side since i felt so sore. I got her latched on and she did great. Slowly, one by one everyone started leaving. My friend left first and told me not to worry about any mess, that she had cleaned the bathroom and put in a load of laundry. I just wanted to squeeze her. We hugged and she left with her family.

Next, the midwives left, saying they'd come the next day to check on us and while dh and I sat together and watched her nurse my sweet mom cleaned up the whole kitchen and asked if we needed anything. Her and my sister left about 3:30am. Dd#1 had slept through the entire thing.

I was exhausted and sooo nauseous and my eyes kept opening and closing and I kept seeing the images of the birth over and over but not as i saw it at the time. I saw the images as if i was watching everything from outside the bathroom. I was shaking and tensing up and crying that I did not want to see it anymore. Dh kept telling me that I did great and not to worry but i kept saying I didnt want to see it anymore.

Soon thereafter he must have helped me get to the bedroom to sleep but my memory after that is basically nonexistent. For the next couple days I was very distant and out of it, not carrying the baby much and having anxiety but as I had time to process things and talk to my husband and hear from him exactly what happened from his point of view, things are much better and now I look to it as an AMAZING wonderful experience and feel so bonded with dh since we caught the baby together.

We are settling in nicely now and nursing is going great. The first 2 days dd#2 lost 4 ounces and 2 days later had gained back all 4 ounces getting her back to her birthweight. So she must be nursing well

Dd#1 had a rough couple days and was basically not talking to me and on day 2 came in my bedroom while i was resting and said "I miss you mama"...Oh how i cried. She was just so sad and it broke my heart. She is doing better now and is pretty much back to normal. She now asks where the baby is, wants to hold her and is all on her own helping with bringing diapers and wipes etc. People keep telling me to get her involved with the baby, ask her to help etc but i really dont think i like that approach. Just like I need time to process things, so does she and she should be 'allowed' to do so at her own pace. Her world has just been turned upside down without me asking her to do this and that for this new person in our lives.

Dh has been amazing, doing everything while i relax and heal so it will be interesting to see how i do when he goes back to work on Monday, when reality kicks in

I know it's a lot to ask for but I pray that i can be patient with my girls, give them my love and attention, take care of myself and dh, all while I enjoy the memories in the making.

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

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#2 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 03:32 AM
 
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Congratulations Mama! AMAZING birth story!

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#3 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 03:43 AM
 
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Congratulations on your new little princess. ANd on your amazing birth. YOu did a fantastic job. I'm a midwife-in-training and every time we've had a mom labor for less than 2 hours they went through the same things you did. I think that part of labor is the mind is transitioning also and when you go quick you don't get that. I think your approach with dd#1 is awesome. You should pat yourself on the back.

Jessica, mama to Emma, 7, Mattie, 5.5 and Lilly, 3 and someone new this Halloween-ish.

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#4 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 03:54 AM
 
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What a story! I was on the edge of my seat and holding my breath while reading that! WOW!!!! Great job mama!!!!!! Congratulations!

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#5 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 12:44 PM
 
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Oh my that was fast! I had a fast birth myself - 90 minute labor. I thought that was very fast and reading your story I think you handled it really well. It is a shock to have a baby so fast. I had a really wonderful fast homebirth but still I felt overwhelmed afterwards - like - oh dear - I just had a baby! Good thing you got home at least. Would have been some shock if she had come in the car with the kids there and everything! Congrats!
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#6 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 01:26 PM
 
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That was awesome!! Thanks for sharing & congrats on your new daughter.

~Marie: Mom to DS(17), DS(16), DD(14), DD(10), DD(8) & someone new on the way.
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#7 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 01:36 PM
 
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What an incredible story, and what a FAST labor! I know what you mean about the stitches hurting more than the birth. With my second the labor/delivery was no biggie, but I as a big baby with the stitches!
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#8 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 02:26 PM
 
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Well, 9x5 is 45, so you had approximately a 45 min labor! You Rock! congratulations and take your time healing and processing. PP was right, it takes a little more time when it is so fast, there are parts missing
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#9 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 02:27 PM
 
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You Rock! congratulations and take your time healing and processing. PP was right, it takes a little more time when it is so fast, there are parts missing
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#10 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well my timings for the last couple contractions may be off, but I do know the first was at 11:10pm and she was in my arms at 11:50pm (there was a clock in the washroom I took in so i could time ctx)

Helping women overcome postpartum depression and birth trauma. http://www.postmommyhood.com

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#11 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 02:37 PM
 
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Congratulations -- what a strong woman you are! THank you for sharing your story.
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#12 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 02:42 PM
 
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Congrats! My dd came out similarly, on the toilet, after a short labor (but not as short as yours). Was a huge suprise to have that contraction which ended with a baby in my hands! What a rush!!!
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#13 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 03:37 PM
 
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that was amazing! i had to have a lil chuckle tho when u said 8lbs even and then big baby these days 8lbs is average...my ds was 9lbs 10oz and my dr had said 8lbs max!

Jami (25) Roland (27) & Caleb (5), Jacob (3.5) , Kaitlyn (2)
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#14 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 04:50 PM
 
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What an incredible story! Congratulations on your new baby girl.

My dd's birth was really fast too (not nearly THAT fast, lol) and I also had a 2nd degree tear. I had gotten through the birth with no problems (even a few painless cntx) but when he was stitching, I screamed bloody murder through the entire thing.

Congratulations again and thank you for sharing!

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#15 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 05:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalebsMama05
that was amazing! i had to have a lil chuckle tho when u said 8lbs even and then big baby these days 8lbs is average...my ds was 9lbs 10oz and my dr had said 8lbs max!
LOL. I know it's average. but dd#1 was 5 lbs. so ya to me 8 lbs is HUGE

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#16 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 05:29 PM
 
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WOW! That was one amazing birth story Mama
You did awesome!!!!

CONGRATS on your new little girl!!!!!!

Julie (34)
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#17 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 05:35 PM
 
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wow, what an intense birth story! congratulations on your new baby. it sounds like you did an incredible job!
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#18 of 23 Old 12-03-2005, 06:16 PM
 
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I had a very fast birth with my third. She was in shock when she came out and gave us all quite a scare. I had that fuzzy what happened feeling. Within 15 minutes I could hardly remember having a baby. I could see her, but I hardly recognized her as mine. i think all those hormones that work so nicely for longer labors hit us hard and fast after the need for them is past and it mixes things up in our mind. I had to have people go over and over the story for me because I had almost no memory. At one point I realized I had been in the hopsital room alone (I was at a prenatal visit when I went into labor, so we just trecked up to the OB floor) and asked dh where he was exactly. Apparently I had told him to do a bunch of stuff she was probably 6 months old before I felt like I had a firm grip on what had happened. I also think the fear of losing her when she wasn't breathing etc also made it all worse. Your mind natrually tries to block out those things I think.

your dh seems to have had amazing presence of mindn though But he didn't have a zillion hormones running through him mixing things up.

thanks for sharing yoru story. and CONGRATULATIONS!

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#19 of 23 Old 12-05-2005, 02:05 AM
 
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wow! that was really intense and no kidding Fast! thank you for sharing your story!
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#20 of 23 Old 12-06-2005, 06:00 AM
 
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Congratulations on the birth of you daughter! What an amazing story, I'm so glad I read it! You did great! I can't believe how fast she came

ribboncesarean.gif cesareans happen.
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#21 of 23 Old 12-06-2005, 12:05 PM
 
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Wow! That is AMAZING!!! Congratulations!!!

Namaste, Tara
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#22 of 23 Old 12-06-2005, 05:44 PM
 
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CONGRATS SISTER

may Allah lead her footsteps to heaven

i wish you all the best, get some rest and enjoy your new bundle of joy
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#23 of 23 Old 12-06-2005, 08:40 PM
 
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Wow! What an amazing story.

Thank-you for sharing.
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