Okay this is a long question which requires a little background Information. My husband and I have 2 children ages 10 and 11. A few years ago we went through a rough patch which resulted in my children temporarily living with my father. For reasons of both of making my dad does not allow my husband in his house. Although my dad and I are okay now there was a time he probably would have banned me from his house also if I wasn't his daughter. I understand that it sucks my husband isn't able to stay the night with our kids or can't do the things he'd like to do with the kids, however I feel like because we caused this situation by our own actions, our kids shouldn't suffer anymore because of our bad decisions and i feel that I should be there with them as often as I can to be as much of a mother to them that I can even if he can't. That he should put how feels about it to the side and put what's best for our children ahead of what he wants. I get upset when he makes me feel guilty about wanting to spend the night with my kids when can't and when I tell the kids I'm going to be there soon and he tells me I can't go for whatever reason he thinks I am being a bad mom and person for telling the kids the truth about why I now can't come and placing the blame on him instead of coming up with some reason why I can't go. And when I do try to cover for him and tell the kids some made up reason as to why I can't be there and finally get them to where they aren't upset he comes in and will say things to them like we can probably go in a while and then to me says he didn't say we could he said maybe then I get stuck being the one to have to let them down and I end up looking like dad said so mom must not want to and I refuse to let them believe that. Please tell me what the right thing to do in this situation and what's best for our kids.