small tear, intact 12 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 04-09-2019, 03:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
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small tear, intact 12 year old

My 12 year old son is intact, but his foreskin is "tight" according to our pediatrician who has expressed repeated concern that he needs to see a urologist. His only problems ever were 2 UTI's (several years ago, but we realized that was directly related to not drinking enough water--it's been years without issue.)

Tonight he went to the bathroom and a small tear of the prepuce formed, on top of the penis, with a drop of two of blood. I expect this is a result of his body changing as he approaches puberty, but don't want to neglect seeing a urologist if it is necessary at this point. I'd appreciate any info/input/experiences, thanks.
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#2 of 13 Old 04-12-2019, 07:02 PM
 
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Your son is normal. Retraction is only for sex and its normal for that to take up to 18 years. My son retracted at 14 and was still quite tight at 12.

Your doctor is wrong, please send him a Don't Retract Pack and find another doctor. he doesn't need to see a urologist.

I am going to guess the visit scared him and he tried to pull it back and tore himself.
have him soak in a bath, half a bath to half a cup of bicarb/baking soda. use organic coconut oil on the outside, Do this daily but otherwise leave it alone to heal.

Make sure your son knows that he is normal and that the doctor was wrong.

having trouble posting for some reason, removing the link to see if that helps
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#3 of 13 Old 04-12-2019, 07:09 PM
 
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No, tear and blood is not puberty nor normal, that is a sign of injury, either caused by the doctor or himself because he was worried. Tell him he should not pull it back like that. That his body will deal with it when he gets more into puberty and that tearing himself will lead to scar tissue. Scar tissue is an issue, normal tightness is not.



Link http://www.savingsons.org/2015/07/re...tion-pack.html
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#4 of 13 Old 04-16-2019, 10:59 AM
 
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It's hard for me to speak to someone that's 12, bc my son was all the way retracted by like... three, but, and here is a weird question... does he... how do I say without sounding pervy? Does he play with himself?
Reason I ask is because I'd think it'd be retracting w/o issue if so, or maybe I'm speaking out of me arse, but if he does, and this is the first time it happened, I'd say it's probably some kind of anomaly, and I'd say do the warm bath/oil thing.
If he hasn't played with it enough for it to start stretching and retracting, then... I dunno. I'd say try the bath first and give it a couple days, but then maybe get a 2nd opinion of someone who would not suggest circing?

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#5 of 13 Old 04-16-2019, 03:18 PM
 
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Doesn't matter if he plays with himself or not, puberty hormones work directly on the foreskin disolving the synechia membrane that bonds the two surfaces together. Retraction is not needed during childhood, and it's actually safer and cleaner if small children do not retract and should not be encouraged. A child only has to be able to pee. Nothing you can do about it of course if your toddler does retract but it puts them at higher risk of infection and UTI from dirty hands, sharp fingernails and things placed inside. Kids have been known to place sand, toys, sticks, peas and one case I know of tried glue inside his foreskin as an experiment and ended up with an ER visit. kids who play with it will tend to retract sooner and my kid wasn't one to play, so he retracted later but it doesn't matter since retraction is only for sex, and children, and hopefully that includes 12 year olds, are not thinking about sex.
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#6 of 13 Old 04-16-2019, 04:01 PM
 
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Okay! Who knew. My son retracted himself way early. I didn't stop him because, well, they're his bits. And eek about putting all that stuff in! I could so see that. In hindsight, of course

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#7 of 13 Old 04-16-2019, 04:50 PM
 
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Lol yes, although the father (co-mod on the BC intact are board with me) told me at the time it was no joking matter and he wasn't a toddler either but 7 years old! I guess at that age it's more science experiment than anything. Luckily it was okay in the end and his son is grown now. Recently someone posted that her 16 year old swallowed a sewing needle and is in hospital so it never ends does it?
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#8 of 13 Old 05-08-2019, 05:40 PM
 
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Not normal. Unless he obviously cut himself on something, treat for yeast with clotrimazole all around.

Pediatrician seems worse than ignorant; since that isn't a reason to see a urologist, and urologists have one answer for every foreskin related matter.
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#9 of 13 Old 05-09-2019, 07:33 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gardenmom View Post
My 12 year old son is intact, but his foreskin is "tight" according to our pediatrician who has expressed repeated concern that he needs to see a urologist. His only problems ever were 2 UTI's (several years ago, but we realized that was directly related to not drinking enough water--it's been years without issue.)

Tonight he went to the bathroom and a small tear of the prepuce formed, on top of the penis, with a drop of two of blood. I expect this is a result of his body changing as he approaches puberty, but don't want to neglect seeing a urologist if it is necessary at this point. I'd appreciate any info/input/experiences, thanks.
OP, you have had great replies to your post, and I agree that either the tear was caused by the doctor forcefully retracting him or the doctor made him feel that he had a problem and he did it himself. He just needs to let it heal. There is no rush for a boy to become retractable and late teens is not all that uncommon. In fact there are a few men who never achieve retractability and lead their whole lives without it being an issue for them.

Stay away from urologists. They invariably feel compelled to "fix" the problem, even if the problem is perceived, not real, and in North America the only solution tends to be amputation. There are many methods to treat a tight foreskin that do not involve the loss of any tissue from the use of Betamethasone cream and stretching to Preputioplasty. Your son is too young to worry about these now, but if he has not achieved retractability by his late teens and desires it, then he has options. A foreskin is a valuable body part and it's loss is not to be taken lightly !
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#10 of 13 Old 05-09-2019, 11:29 PM
 
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Parent: "My son has an issue_"

American urologist: "Whack it off"
Parent: "But it's just_"
Urologist: "Whack it off"
Parent "maybe we can...
Urologist: "Whack it off"
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#11 of 13 Old 07-08-2019, 04:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by joandsarah77 View Post
Parent: "My son has an issue_"

American urologist: "Whack it off"
Parent: "But it's just_"
Urologist: "Whack it off"
Parent "maybe we can...
Urologist: "Whack it off"
This is waaaaay too accurate a statement. It blows my mind that this is still the auto-response of American physicians, especially as more and more boys aren't being circumcised at birth.
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#12 of 13 Old 11-06-2019, 03:05 AM
 
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The doctor should know better, it's common for some boys to not be able to retract until well into puberty.
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#13 of 13 Old 11-09-2019, 10:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jeast67 View Post
The doctor should know better, it's common for some boys to not be able to retract until well into puberty.

The issue is many don't.



A recent survey of U.S. medical books, for instance, revealed that only two out of 42 pediatric, nursing, neonatology, and urology texts as well as family health encyclopedias, detailed the correct (minimal) hygiene needs for male infants. The rest featured obsolete, misleading, and potentially injurious advice directly traceable to 19th-century sources.


At a national convention of family practice doctors in 2009, for example, only two out of 113 doctors and med students we polled understood the proper, minimal, hygiene needs of a male infant.



https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/b...omy-harms-boys


Assume any doctor you see is uneducated and likely to retract. Better to be safe than sorry.
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