First timers, how are we all doing? - Page 3 - Mothering Forums
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#61 of 95 Old 02-18-2015, 12:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Some hospitals give you a car seat if you don't have one... Maybe yours does Bren?


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#62 of 95 Old 02-18-2015, 01:59 PM
 
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Maybe. I have one that I want I just haven't taken the time to go get it.


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#63 of 95 Old 02-18-2015, 02:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just saw my midwives for my 40 week appointment. I convinced them to check me. Cervix is way far back, not effaced, not dilated. I gained 5 pounds in a week and baby decided it wants to be posterior again! They aren't worried at all since first-timers usually go late, and most of the action happens with long strong contractions. In fact she said she thinks and first-time moms the biggest changes happen between 40 and 41 weeks.

So there's my update! I highly recommend those of you who still have a couple of weeks to go before your due date don't get too attached to going into labor early, because I prepared myself for this and it's still kind of a drag!


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#64 of 95 Old 02-18-2015, 03:02 PM
 
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First timers, how are we all doing?

I refuse to get checked for that reason! My midwives don't do it anyway but even knowing that it doesn't mean much it's still discouraging to hear you haven't made any progress. Of course that can change on a dime!

I'm still sick and I've been having some awful round ligament pain. The baby has been super active these past few days. It feels like he still has a ton of room in there because he's literally doing rolls and gets himself into weird positions. So some of the time he's anterior, sometimes he's posterior, and sometimes he's just in some weird indecipherable position.

On a paranoid FTM note, do you think he could wrap himself in his cord by rolling around so much this late? It freaks me out.


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#65 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 10:20 AM - Thread Starter
 
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First timers, how are we all doing?

Hi everyone! I just spent an hour and a half at acupuncture hooked up to the little electrical machines stimulating the needles in my back. But I still feel the same, albeit more relaxed. My hips were aching last night, which I hadn't felt for a while. Actually I had a couple weeks of really good sleep!But baby is moving like crazy, and feels like a little octopus in there, which makes me think he/she is still posterior! Sigh. People keep telling me to visualize and talk to the baby… I've been doing lots of that, but at the end of the day baby's gonna do it baby does right? I just keep reminding myself that I have plenty of time… So, tomorrow we're going to drive about an hour into the Berkshire mountains and go to MassMoca, this huge contemporary Art Museum so I can walk. I seriously hate the mall, this feels like a better option for me.

Keep us [email protected]!


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#66 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 08:57 PM
 
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Well, today is my due date, and I have no signs of labor. At my appointment this morning as I was lying back to get measured, the midwife noticed the big bulge of the baby on the right side of my belly (where it has been hanging out for a while). Then she checked me - medium softness (she didn't give a %) and about 1 cm dilated, which she said was good. But she couldn't feel the baby's head at all so it's not engaged. Prior to checking me, she asked if I wanted her to sweep my membranes, but she said she probably couldn't even do it since my cervix was further back. She thinks the baby is leaning off to the right side and not dropping into the pelvis, so she suggested a few things to do to get it moved to the center and drop down to start putting pressure on my cervix to get things going.

Now since I am "over due", I had to schedule another appointment for next week and start getting NSTs, and another ultrasound to check the baby's weight. The midwife explained today that some of the care providers are more conservative about delivering bigger babies and will want to know a recent weight estimate during labor. Most likely the baby will be right around 9 lbs at that point, almost 2 weeks since my last ultrasound estimating weight at 8 lbs 2 oz. I managed to get all those appointments scheduled for Wednesday afternoon, so now my goal is to get this baby out or at least labor started prior to any of that.

I texted with the doula, who offered a few suggestions to help baby's position. I looked around on spinning babies and did an inversion tonight, and have been trying to lie on my left side and gently encourage baby to move more towards the center. Also doing some squats and tailor sitting to get my pelvis opened up. I think the baby was engaged further down a couple weeks ago because I was having a lot of low pressure, and then it kind of went away. I suspect it was not helping things that I spent a lot of time sitting in meetings at work in conference rooms with incredibly uncomfortable chairs that scrunched my pelvis together. I eventually starting taking my desk chair (which is more adjustable and comfortable) into conference rooms, but I think the damage had been done already.

I am going to spend as much time as possible this weekend getting baby into a good position, but I am really starting to consider that I should begin my leave from work now to avoid more bad sitting positions, especially if baby's position is part of the reason I'm not starting labor. Even sitting in my adjustable desk chair all day is probably not good. I am just really dreading the possibility of being off work for almost 2 weeks before having the baby and losing that time later with the baby. But since I am planning to take off 6 months, 2 weeks isn't that much time lost, relatively speaking.

Hope your museum walk goes well for you tomorrow @forestlover75 !
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#67 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 09:32 PM
 
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I don't really have any updates. I declined getting checked at my 39 week appt today, so I really have no idea what's going on in there. Baby is in a good position, LOA, I believe. But it's been like that for awhile. Lots of non painful braxton hicks, which have a also been going on forever. I did wake up last night with some slight cramps feelings. I got really excited/nervous in my state of half sleep, then couldn't get back to sleep forever. I finally did and dreamt about my water breaking. I've been sleeping mostly well. We picked up our birth tub today. I think overall I'm just a pretty boring pregnant lady Oh, I do have a cold. That sucks. My mom comes next Thursday, and that will be dh last day for 3 weeks at one of his jobs.
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#68 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 09:36 PM
 
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@sarahjs could you take a yoga ball to sit on while you're at work?

@forestlover75 enjoy your walk!
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#69 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 09:38 PM
 
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Whoops! I just realized I posted in the first timers chat. I thought it was February chat! Sorry ladies! Duh (hand to the forehead)
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#70 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 09:51 PM
 
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@sarahjs I was going to suggest taking a yoga ball to work too, if you think that'd work for you. I'm worried about being in your position because my baby isn't engaged yet either from what I can tell. He's lower but not in my pelvis. He keeps getting his head wedged under a hip. I'm trying all the exercises too just hoping he'll engage soon to avoid any issues in the future. I hope both our babies engage soon!


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#71 of 95 Old 02-20-2015, 09:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey everyone - don't panic! Normal for 1st timers to need labor to bring baby down way into pelvis. Also, not typical for 1st timers to go before 41 weeks. I am focusing on trusting that we got this far, everything's been doing just what it should so there's no reason to think birth won't be the same. There's lots of fear-based messaging out there we have to combat from taking in!


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#72 of 95 Old 02-21-2015, 10:07 AM
 
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I'm not panicking, just getting frustrated that I made it past the hurdle of baby not being "too big" by the hospital standards, and now I'm going to be facing it again in a few days when the baby most likely will be at that magical nonsensical number. I know that I can decline anything they offer to me, but I don't want to be treated differently due to them thinking the baby is big.

And I just checked my online account with the hospital since they sent me appointment reminders for everything next week. My induction appointment is scheduled for Tuesday, March 3. When the midwife brought it up last week, she said she was going to get me on the schedule for exactly 42 weeks, which would be Friday the 6th. She wanted to get it on the schedule ASAP before the times got booked that day and I got pushed to an earlier day. Well apparently someone didn't process the paperwork because at my appointment yesterday, she said she didn't know why it wasn't on the schedule, and now it's a few days earlier than I was expecting. Just had a few tears over that.
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#73 of 95 Old 02-23-2015, 11:50 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I hate that my HB midwives are so conservative that they abide by the 42 week protocol. I have to go in for NST tomorrow with the CNMs. Hoping they give me a green light to go past 42 weeks if need be.


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#74 of 95 Old 02-23-2015, 12:39 PM
 
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That's a bummer. I know that with the midwives here it can be a liability issue, or a hostility/backup issue in case a +42 weeker has to transfer, rather than an actual philosophical mismatch.

It doesn't seem like it when you have a deadline looming, but a week is an eternity at this stage in the game! Any day could be your day.


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#75 of 95 Old 02-23-2015, 10:00 PM
 
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I had a tough day today. I went to work and responded to a check-in text from my doula, telling her about my upcoming appointments and scheduled induction, which made me really emotional and I started crying. Then I spent the next hour and a half sitting in my cube crying and trying to avoid seeing anyone since people can't seem to stop themselves from making a comment asking why I'm still at work or why I haven't had the baby yet. Eventually I IMed my boss to let him know I wasn't coming into a conference room to talk to him about some stuff because I was sparing him from witnessing a pregnant emotional mess. He said I could go home if I needed to, and I was considering it but I was trying to look up my available vacation time and work out how much time I could take off before the induction. He basically told me not to worry about it much and work from home as needed... which is really nice, but I feel bad "working from home" when I'm not doing much work. I finally stopped crying and went in the room and made it through day at work, but I never got around to explaining to him why I was so upset because I knew it would just make me start crying again.

I spent the rest of the day mostly trying to avoid people, but still got a fair amount of questions about the baby and people making comments, which is just adding more stress to what I already have from the "deadlines" to have a baby. I feel like it's to the point that I'm not excited about having a baby any more (of course I am) but just looking forward to having the baby asap to avoid interventions and everyone asking about it. And that makes me really sad to have that excitement and joy taken away. I'm really trying to stay positive and know things will happen when they are meant to, but it's hard when a clock is ticking.

My plan is to work from home tomorrow since the main two people I would need to interact with will be in another location anyway, and then I will probably take a vacation day Wednesday. I have a couple hours of appointments scheduled that afternoon, and will probably ask the midwife to sweep my membranes if she can reach, so I may not be up to going back to work after that anyway. If I take the full day off, I'll spend the morning walking at the mall or something. Not sure what I'll do yet after that, just taking it day by day and hoping to have a baby by then. I also plan to talk to the midwife about my induction getting scheduled earlier than we discussed, and what happens if I just decline to come in for it that day (assuming all is ok with the baby).

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#76 of 95 Old 02-23-2015, 10:26 PM
 
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@sarahjs when is your induction scheduled and why? I know you already talked about this but I can't remember. I'm sorry you're being put on the clock, It sounds really stressful. I hope you can feel more at peace with things in time *hugs*


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#77 of 95 Old 02-23-2015, 10:27 PM
 
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First timers, how are we all doing?

@sarahjs Okay wait you literally just posted about the induction never mind please ignore my silly preggo brain.

But at least you have a whole week still! Things can change so much before the 3rd.

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#78 of 95 Old 02-24-2015, 04:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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@sarahjs , I so recommend accepting your boss' proposal to work from home. You may need some time to just be with yourself right now. I totally support you talking to your MW too. Don't let them push you. Also, remember, you have to show up to get induced . If something were to "come up", (car problems, thought I was actually going into labor, I just forgot, dunno what happened etc.) they'd put you at the bottom of the list unless you were having specific high risk symptoms. You have the power to advocate for yourself here - remember it's YOUR body and baby. Hang in there. Check out the affirmations I posted on the Feb chat. They helped me a lot.


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#79 of 95 Old 02-24-2015, 10:12 AM
 
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Just wanted to chime in with a little more sympathy and encouragement. As usual, forestlover's right on the money, so... I second everything she said. Just remember that you don't have to accept one single thing that doesn't make you feel at peace!

I wish you a lovely, relaxed couple of days. Please don't be afraid to take a little time to make sure you can care for yourself. I know all this is way (...waaaaaaaay) easier said than done, but I am sending you all the peace and calm I can. We're rooting for you.
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#80 of 95 Old 02-24-2015, 10:29 AM
 
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Thanks ladies. I do feel better today. It helps a lot to not have the constant asking and surprise that I'm still at work. And of course sitting around in my pajamas all day is nice too. I did watch the birth affirmations this morning, and there was some good stuff in there. I listen to the hypnobabies birth affirmations track nearly every day, but this youtube one had some different things. It's kind of a mix of the Birth Affirmations and Come Out Baby, which I listen to almost daily as well.

My husband told me that he canceled a meeting he was supposed to run tomorrow afternoon so he could go to my appointments with me. I wasn't expecting him to be there at all, but it's comforting to know he'll be there with me for support and talking to the midwife about the induction.
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#81 of 95 Old 02-24-2015, 11:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Glad you're feeling better today @sarahjs . I can only imagine how you feel – I felt a kind of dread showing up to yoga again last night. All the mamas in my class are due in 2 to 4 months, so there was so much attention to my being overdue. I can't imagine how stressful it would be to go to work and have folks who aren't even pregnant making comments. Glad your hubby is making time for this too. Mine went to the NST with me this morning, and now has to come home to help pull in this huge package that's arriving soon. It's not ideal given that we're trying to save as much time for after baby comes, but I think it's part of it for the Papas to be flexible with all of the twists and turns that we have no control over in this parenting journey! Enjoy your PJs!!!


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#82 of 95 Old 02-24-2015, 11:27 PM
 
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The closer I get to labor the more my confidence wavers. I keep remembering the way those contractions felt and I've been worried I won't be able to handle them without medication. But I read this article and really liked it. It gave me a little bit of a confidence boost to have things broken down bit by bit.

http://thejoyofthis.com/2013/03/15/b...hrough-it-all/


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#83 of 95 Old 02-25-2015, 09:11 AM
 
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That was a good article Bren. You'll do great! You've already had some practice so you know what to expect... you can set yourself up to know what's coming and how you can cope with it. I've still yet to have a real contraction, so I have no idea what to expect. Have you listened to birth affirmations? I find those helpful to build confidence (along with reading all the birth stories here). Also have you tried perineum massage? My doula highly suggested it, so we tried it a couple times. Definitely not a pleasant experience, but it was good to feel that sensation now so I know what's coming, rather than feel it the first time during birth.

Also remember that if you do end up needing drugs to help you through it, it doesn't mean you failed. Do your best to cope however you can in line with how you planned, but don't feel bad if you need to take another path.
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#84 of 95 Old 02-25-2015, 10:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sarahjs View Post
also remember that if you do end up needing drugs to help you through it, it doesn't mean you failed. Do your best to cope however you can in line with how you planned, but don't feel bad if you need to take another path.
this!!!

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#85 of 95 Old 02-25-2015, 02:11 PM
 
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@sarahjs We did the perineum stretching practices a few times and yeah they are no fun. The whole epidural or pain med scenario is what I'm working on still mentally. I want to feel okay with myself in the event that I do need or want interventions. Right now I feel like I'm just not sure how okay I'll feel but no matter what I do I want to feel empowered by it and proud of the decision. So I'm working on it.


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#86 of 95 Old 02-25-2015, 08:34 PM
 
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but no matter what I do I want to feel empowered by it and proud of the decision. So I'm working on it.
I really think that is the key. YOU are the one who makes the decision and as long as YOU are ok with it, that's all that matters. We just really have no clue how things will go for us and how we will feel in the full swing of labor, so just give yourself permission to do what feels best for you in whatever situation are you in. As long as you are the one calling the shots and not feeling pressure from others, you'll do great.

So I had a pretty crazy afternoon at the hospital for my appointments today. Crazy in a bad way. My first appointment was an ultrasound to do biophysical profile (BPP) and check on growth and weight. Apparently baby was napping so getting the BPP stuff took a while. The tech kept jabbing the baby to get it to move and do whatever she needed to check. Finally got through all that and she did all the measuring, and as expected, estimated weight is now 9 lbs 3 oz, +- 1.5 lbs (so dumb). As far as we could tell, everything was fine, baby was breathing normally and HB was good. The tech went to check with the radiologist to make sure everything was good, came back after an unusually long time and said all was good and we could go. The next appointment was with the midwife, which we were already like 30 minutes late for but they knew we were there for other stuff too. Right after I stood up to go, someone else came to the room and said "The doctor just called back and said to keep her." Tech left again, then came back and said the radiologist talked to the midwife and wanted me to go over to labor & delivery to see the midwife on call. So we asked what's going on and why can't we just go to the midwife appointment and NST as scheduled. The tech said she didn't know, maybe they wanted to induce me today but to go to L&D.

I was in tears as we walked over to L&D, then had to sit there and wait still with no idea why they sent me over there. We waited for 20-30 minutes probably (with me crying the whole time) until a nurse came out said the midwife was too busy with patients in labor to talk to me now, but wanted my phone number to call me later and we could go home. My husband was pissed at this point and asked again why we were sent to L&D instead of seeing the midwife in the clinic and said we weren't going anywhere until someone talked to us and told us what's going and why we aren't having our planned appointments. Then the nurse said "Well the baby is big so they want to talk about options." No Sh!t, we know that already. She went back and called over to the clinic, and came back and said we could go back over to see the other midwife. As we walked back over, my husband said he thinks the radiologist didn't realize we already had an appointment to talk to the midwife today, so that's why he wanted me to go to L&D. Apparently all some big miscommunication that caused me a crazy amount of anxiety!

So back in the clinic, I got hooked up for the NST and baby did great. The nurse also said the BPP results were 8/8, fluid level was good and there's no indication of anything wrong, just that the baby is big. The midwife came in and apologized for all the nonsense I went through and we talked about the weight issue. She said in order to do her job working for the hospital, she had to offer me a c-section but added she wasn't recommending it. Then we talked about the induction date and I said it wasn't happy about it being moved earlier than 42 weeks. She said again due to the baby's weight she has to offer we move the induction earlier than next Tuesday. I basically said no thanks and I would like it moved as late as possible. She said no problem. I asked if she thought it was a bad decision, so she talked about the risk of shoulder dystocia (again adding it's just her job to inform me of these risks) and she said she didn't think I was being foolish but that it's a calculated risk. Then she kinda went on about delivering and knowing of plenty of 10+ lb babies, some even born to very small women without issue. She looked at me and felt my hips and said I'm not a small woman and basically said she didn't think it was a big deal for me (what I have felt all along).

Then she asked if I wanted her to check me, and I said yes and wanted her to try to sweep my membranes. She said she wouldn't have even checked me other than to do that. Still about the same as last Friday - 1 cm, cervix far back, but she said she got a finger in enough to feel the baby's head (hopefully meaning my exercises and work to get baby engaged are helping) but couldn't really sweep. She told me with her first baby, she was at about the same place getting checked and then ended up going into labor and having the baby the next day. Next steps are going for another NST Saturday, then repeat BPP, NST and appointment next Wednesday, then induction Thursday night/Friday morning if still no baby.

It's really powerful how much better I felt being informed, being the one making the decisions and having my choices respected instead of the crap I went through an hour before talking to the midwife.
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#87 of 95 Old 02-26-2015, 01:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@sarahjs , I am SO sorry to hear what you had to go through! I really can't believe they offered you a C-section. Glad to hear she added that she wasn't recommending it, but wow! Sounds like you did a really good job advocating for yourself, and that your midwife was supportive which is great. Hang in there. From what you described elsewhere on the forum, it sounds like your body is doing all kinds of things to prepare you for labor naturally. Sending good thoughts your way!


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#88 of 95 Old 02-26-2015, 04:38 PM
 
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I was completely expecting the CS offer since they had warned me that was the hospital policy since a couple months ago. I've seen two different midwives for regular appointments, and they are both pretty open about stating what the policy is but isn't necessarily what they recommend or believe. The one yesterday (who I haven't seen for a few months) just flat out says that she is only telling me because she has to due to where she chooses to work. So they are pretty cool about stuff and definitely supportive and respectful of my choices. And I would also have the same respect if they were warning me that they thought I really couldn't handle birthing the baby. She also warned me about if labor stalls in the hospital that there will be pressure for a CS due to baby's estimated size, then asked if I have a doula (yes) and said, "Great, stay home as long as possible and you'll be fine", which was exactly my plan.
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#89 of 95 Old 03-11-2015, 08:15 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I just want to send a shout out to my fellow first time mamas! Hope you're all hanging in there. Sending hugs to you in the wee hours of the night. I must say I am in awe of the mamas who do this with more than one child. I truly cannot imagine how hard it would be. Anyway, congrats all around first timers! WE HAVE BABIES!


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#90 of 95 Old 03-11-2015, 09:50 PM
 
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Seriously I used to think I wanted 3 kids. Now I definitely know two is our max and one may be enough. So much work and so little sleep lol.


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