I would be happy to move to a private fb group as well.
, that's a tough situation with your in-laws. Hopefully it will all work out with them being there so early. It is hard too when people have to fly in from across the country, so they have to make plans well in advance and you aren't sure how you'll be feeling by that point. At least 5 days will probably go fast if it ends up being a difficult time for you with them in the house. And maybe you should discuss with your husband the possibility of having to ask them to go to hotel for part of the stay if you are really feeling uncomfortable with your FIL around all the time.
I don't have to entertain my mom in the same sense that you're talking about. Normally when she comes to visit, I go about my normal weekend of grocery shopping, running errands, go out for dinner, etc. and she is content with that. We do not have to go do special things. It's just that she's like a clingy toddler, literally following me around from room to room or standing next to me while I cook so she can talk or ask questions. Another problem lately is diet differences. She is vegetarian and strictly gluten-free. Normally vegetarian is not an issue for me as we used to cook that way at home most of the time. But now being pregnant and managing my blood sugar, I'm eating a lot of meat, bread and pasta (and I have some food intolerances that make it tough for me to eat most gluten-free things), so it's tough to find joint meals for everyone. So even if we have her come help after the baby is born, primarily needing her to focus on cooking and cleaning up, I'd feel like she's making multiple meals to feed herself and me or spending too much effort coming up with joint meals - or worse, I'd still end up figuring out all my own food.
My latest annoyance is over a gift she got us. A couple weeks ago, she asked if we had gotten the Ergo infant insert yet - it was on our Amazon registry. I told her no, and then she didn't really say much else. The amazon registry shows you who purchased which items, so I saw that she did buy it a couple days later. It was one of the things I was going to buy myself if nobody bought it for us, since I'm working on making sure we have all the things we'll need in the first few weeks. Well now 2 weeks later, we still haven't received it. So I asked her today about it, and she said she received it at her house. I asked why didn't she have it shipped to us, and she said she wanted to bring it as a gift for the baby when she comes to visit. Well, since I told her to come after a couple weeks when my husband goes back to work, that now means we might not be able to use the Ergo for a while. I told her I'm not sure if we'd really need to use it immediately, but I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I want to use it and can't because I don't have the insert. Then she told me that I probably won't need it right away since she only wore her kids when she needed to get work done around the house. Ugh. This is just one of multiple comments she has made implying that I should be doing things how she did 40 years ago (like questioning why I registered for nipple butter instead of lanolin since she used lanolin). At the end of the conversation I did ask her to mail it to me and said I would end up going out to buy one myself if I needed it and didn't have it. So I'm sure she's probably irritated about that too, along with not being able to visit the baby right away. It's stuff like this that she doesn't really consider the impact. She wants to bring a gift, but doesn't realize it's a practical thing we might need immediately (not just a cute outfit) and didn't discuss with me a plan to visit before having it shipped to her. My friend joked that she's holding it as ransom to see the baby.