February Chat (Feb DDC) - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 08:26 AM
 
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I'm not sure why, but it doesn't feel real that everyone in this group is having their babies recently or soon. I know, I see the pictures, and I read the stories, but I guess it doesn't feel real to me yet because it hasn't happened to me yet. Even though I have been through it before a few times. Maybe it's shock, but it just doesn't seem possible that we're to this point already.

Also, I've been distracting myself in these last weeks with books on psychology to help me understand my two oldest children. I realize that part of their personalities and problems are very similar to my own childhood issues, so must be genetic. I realize that I specifically empathize with people, but I can't just empathize. I feel the need to share my story, like as if I have to prove to someone that I empathize. I see it as being helpful, but maybe some people don't see it as helpful, maybe they see it as narcissistic and like I feel like everything has to be about me. Just becoming more analytical lately, and I think it's easier to self analyze than to analyze others when you don't firstly understand yourself.

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#32 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 08:26 AM
 
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My MIL offered to come help right after the baby is born, but I asked DH to ask her to wait until March. She means well, but a lot of time her help makes work for me. My mom said she will help more this time... we'll see. I believe she totally thinks she will, but when push comes to shove there is always *something* else she has to do.

Just like I thought, my contractions went away last night. I made myself go to sleep and when I woke up they were gone. I did lose my mucus plug yesterday and I've had a lot of stringy clear mucus today, so at least something new is going on. Nesting this morning! Tempted to try to do a few things to help labor along....

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#33 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 10:24 AM
 
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I'd really love to continue in this community for as long as we can. I'd even be game for a FB group so long as it is a "secret" group. I've posted personal things here and I'd feel really uncomfortable with a lurker seeing my real name in a FB group. Not that I mind lurking by any means-- I just prefer to stay as anonymous as possible so I can continue speaking freely.
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#34 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 11:16 AM
 
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i wouldn't mind having a private FB group either to stay in touch and share pics of the littles.
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#35 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 11:39 AM
 
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I'm all for a fb group!!!! I don't want to fall out of contact with you ladies. We are like one big family !!!
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#36 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 12:54 PM
 
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Id like to stay on MDC for as long as we can, then move to FB. I haven't had a FB account for a couple years but I would consider one just for this purpose.
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Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#37 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 02:41 PM
 
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I also like I stay on mdc as long as possible before moving to fb

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#38 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 04:32 PM
 
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Waiting is hard, you guys. :/
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#39 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 04:42 PM
 
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I would be happy to move to a private fb group as well.

@forestlover75 , that's a tough situation with your in-laws. Hopefully it will all work out with them being there so early. It is hard too when people have to fly in from across the country, so they have to make plans well in advance and you aren't sure how you'll be feeling by that point. At least 5 days will probably go fast if it ends up being a difficult time for you with them in the house. And maybe you should discuss with your husband the possibility of having to ask them to go to hotel for part of the stay if you are really feeling uncomfortable with your FIL around all the time.

I don't have to entertain my mom in the same sense that you're talking about. Normally when she comes to visit, I go about my normal weekend of grocery shopping, running errands, go out for dinner, etc. and she is content with that. We do not have to go do special things. It's just that she's like a clingy toddler, literally following me around from room to room or standing next to me while I cook so she can talk or ask questions. Another problem lately is diet differences. She is vegetarian and strictly gluten-free. Normally vegetarian is not an issue for me as we used to cook that way at home most of the time. But now being pregnant and managing my blood sugar, I'm eating a lot of meat, bread and pasta (and I have some food intolerances that make it tough for me to eat most gluten-free things), so it's tough to find joint meals for everyone. So even if we have her come help after the baby is born, primarily needing her to focus on cooking and cleaning up, I'd feel like she's making multiple meals to feed herself and me or spending too much effort coming up with joint meals - or worse, I'd still end up figuring out all my own food.

My latest annoyance is over a gift she got us. A couple weeks ago, she asked if we had gotten the Ergo infant insert yet - it was on our Amazon registry. I told her no, and then she didn't really say much else. The amazon registry shows you who purchased which items, so I saw that she did buy it a couple days later. It was one of the things I was going to buy myself if nobody bought it for us, since I'm working on making sure we have all the things we'll need in the first few weeks. Well now 2 weeks later, we still haven't received it. So I asked her today about it, and she said she received it at her house. I asked why didn't she have it shipped to us, and she said she wanted to bring it as a gift for the baby when she comes to visit. Well, since I told her to come after a couple weeks when my husband goes back to work, that now means we might not be able to use the Ergo for a while. I told her I'm not sure if we'd really need to use it immediately, but I don't want to be stuck in a situation where I want to use it and can't because I don't have the insert. Then she told me that I probably won't need it right away since she only wore her kids when she needed to get work done around the house. Ugh. This is just one of multiple comments she has made implying that I should be doing things how she did 40 years ago (like questioning why I registered for nipple butter instead of lanolin since she used lanolin). At the end of the conversation I did ask her to mail it to me and said I would end up going out to buy one myself if I needed it and didn't have it. So I'm sure she's probably irritated about that too, along with not being able to visit the baby right away. It's stuff like this that she doesn't really consider the impact. She wants to bring a gift, but doesn't realize it's a practical thing we might need immediately (not just a cute outfit) and didn't discuss with me a plan to visit before having it shipped to her. My friend joked that she's holding it as ransom to see the baby.
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#40 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 05:34 PM
 
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I love my last DDC and we still chat it up and share struggles and pictures and triumphs on FB. It is really a great support that I cherish!

I will set up a private facebook group for us all at the end of the month so that we all have our babies here and then move over there! Sound good?
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#41 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 05:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jodieanneanton View Post
I love my last DDC and we still chat it up and share struggles and pictures and triumphs on FB. It is really a great support that I cherish!

I will set up a private facebook group for us all at the end of the month so that we all have our babies here and then move over there! Sound good?
Sounds good to me!

@sarahjs that's kind of exactly what is though, ransom! My MIL is doing something similar because she's convinced I won't allow her to see the baby because of how she's been treating me throughout the duration of my pregnancy. She was going to buy us the carseat but now she's saying she will bring a gift to the hospital when the baby is born. Ha, no thanks.
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#42 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oof, so many grandparent worries! This is really where the rubber meets the road, isn't it? My own parents and I had ourselves a tense couple of weeks several months ago when we were discussing when/how they'd meet the baby (since they live across the country from us)... my mom initially assumed they'd stay with us per usual, and I just... No. There is no way. Our house is small enough as it is, and my parents' diet is strict (and interpersonal-drama-inducing) enough, and our kids will be going through enough turmoil, that I just can't see seven people trying to step over each other in the very first days of this child's life. So I said I'm sorry, our house is really out--and my mother's response was "Oh, well, we'll just come for the big kids' birthdays in April." Which totally broke my heart! This could easily be their last grandbaby; I don't want them to miss her when she's tiny! So I asked her to reconsider and she said that she'd look into hotels, and when should they come, so I spitballed a date five days past the due date, thinking that they'd be in town for four or five days and that would give them the best chance of being here for if not the birth, then at least a very tiny brand-new newborn. Cue my mother telling me they're going to be here for TWO WEEKS! Well, shoot, if I'd known they could swing two entire weeks in town, I'd have asked for them to arrive in January!

So now I'm feeling super labor-y and antsy and ready to encourage a baby to arrive, EXCEPT that my parents aren't due in town for two more days. In the long view, two days is nothing, and baby really probably isn't quite ready to arrive because I'm not that labor-y... But meh, I'm impatient and have to sit around being calm and not-baby-encouraging now. Woe is me.

I'm absolutely up for a Facebook group, as private as would best serve the needs of our bunch, and thankful as always to Jodie for taking the lead on that. Jodie! You are the best! Have I mentioned that lately?
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#43 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 07:21 PM
 
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She was going to buy us the carseat but now she's saying she will bring a gift to the hospital when the baby is born. Ha, no thanks.
She's not saying she would bring the carseat as a gift to the hospital, right?? Because that is some serious ransom!
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#44 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 08:01 PM
 
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@sarahjs haha no! That'd be awful.
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#45 of 297 Old 02-03-2015, 11:52 PM
 
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@sarahjs , yeah, definitely a different kind of "entertaining". Sorry your mom is making comments like that. How frustrating. I wonder if she could tolerate some feedback about how it makes you feel? Re: the ergo, my sense is that even with the insert, it may not feel quite right with an itty bitty newborn. Do you have a moby? I love those for the little teensy ones. My SIL offered me her ergo and then when I went back for Thanksgiving she said she realized it was still useful for her toddler. But she gave me the infant insert! So I have been searching for an affordable second-hand ergo (we are hellbent on getting everything used). Yesterday she called and said she is sending it. Thank goodness. I wasn't too worried, because, like I said, I will go moby to start.
@TeeThatsMe , I bet it would be helpful to have grandparents around for labor, immediate postpartum to help with your kiddos. Fingers crossed all will happen in perfect timing.

Today was kind of a weird day for me - I wonder if I am labor-y? Seems way to early for that, but my brain just feels so spacy (this morning I looked for my keys for an hour and missed my acupuncture appt. I was convinced my husband had taken them to work. Alas, they were in my coat pocket...where I had looked 5 times) and there were times when I was almost dizzy, but not really - just felt weird and on the edge of nauseaus. Baby started dropping a couple of weeks ago, and feels even lower now, I am having lots of new sensations - twinges and pressure (I guess - so hard having nothing to compare it to). I started to wonder if they might even be contractions because there was some back and lower belly discomfort too. My BH have been totally sensation-less, but maybe they are just intensifying? There was no rhythm to it, but it occurred to me that I could actually go in to labor. I have been convinced I will be late (like most first timers), but there's no knowing! When my husband got home, I was so grumpy. We have SO much to do and I am just too spent to accomplish much in a given day. We put together a futon frame we got for the guest room which seems totally uncomfortable, and when the topic of guests came up, my husband said we should sleep on it rather than make guests. That got me really antsy about whether he can make me and the baby his #1 priority when people visit us.... now I am wondering if I should have just let his mom and dad stay at a hotel. We went to bed with some tension, which made me totally emotional. And now I am up again. Sigh... I get the sense these last days/weeks will be a roller coaster!


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#46 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 04:43 AM
 
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I'm officially alone for 2 days! I dropped DH off at the airport this morning, he's starting work and moving prep in Dallas and will be home Friday. I got way too emotional and cried for about an hour lol. So here I am with no idea what to do with myself for these two days! I'm not really in the mood to go out considering I waddle like a duck every time I walk and have been getting extreme lightning crotch out of nowhere that makes me keel over. Hoping it goes by quick.
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#47 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 05:51 AM
 
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February Chat (Feb DDC)

I have been awake over here since 4:30 and yesterday I woke up at 5 and I can't go back to sleep to save my life. I'm also really hungry. And I have a lot to do today and really need some rest. It's going to be another long day, it looks like. Darn this awful early morning insomnia!

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
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#48 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 06:23 AM
 
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forest: There is no way in heck I would sleep on the futon. No way. I'm a very conservative person- I believe in gender roles and wives being submissive and all that stuff- but I would set DH straight right away about who this period of time is all about. You and baby. That's it. You are there for the baby and he is there for YOU. No one else. One of my friends has an overbearing DH and he had her up and cooking for his family the day after she had their first baby. She ended up completely exhausted after the third day and couldn't get out of bed. Infuriating. (not implying that your DH would be anywhere near that extreme!)

bren: I hope it passes quickly! It won't be long before you are never alone....

And the end of pregnancy/ hell week progression continues. Up at 4 am. The 5 year old started screeching at 530am because "the night was taking too long". He woke up the 1 year old, who has a really bad attitude now and seems to be harboring some weird toddler grudge against me.

I'm tired even though I slept okay. Mild depression is sinking in. I'm irritable and impatient. My kids are going to hate me until this baby comes Unless all this is considered a sign of labor, I am having no signs of labor. Not even any prodromal labor last night!

I swore I wouldn't let this happen! But at least it didn't start until after 40 weeks this time. That's improvement.
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#49 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 06:26 AM
 
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I would love to do the Facebook group. I think as time gets tighter, I'll have to consolidate my online time... Facebook is uber convenient.

Sorry for the grumps yesterday, Forest! Pregnancy is tough on your body, which creates angst in your mind. It's almost done, though! I think your priorities change after the experience. It's hard to understand the energy that will be present from that side of the finish line. I tried to be conscious of that and hold no expectations. I'm the hostess, so I thought I'd really feel the need to continue to impress my guests-- but there is not an ounce of that need! From my husband, either. The baby and me are his priority. He'll drop a conversation to stare and laugh at his daughter, or get me a glass of water or whatever I need. He'll surprise you. He's gonna fall in love with you all over again, and dote in ways he's never done before!
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#50 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 06:28 AM
 
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#51 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 06:56 AM
 
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@cagnew I'm cracking up at "the night was taking too long"! Not that I'm laughing at your pain, but that's just too funny/cute. And the one year old's "toddler grudge"
Hang in there!

(I wanted to do the laughing emoticon but I'm on my phone and I don't know how so just pretend.)

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#52 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 07:49 AM
 
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happyday: You are right about babies tending to change men! I love DH more with each baby we have. He seems to become a better man each time. It amazes me how attractive and "manly" men look when holding itty-bitty babies, being gentle and sweet with them.

Your response to @forestlover75 was much better than mine because you are totally right- it could be a non-issue once that baby actually shows up. And once her DH sees the work she will go through to bring the baby into the world! Men tend to be in awe of women after seeing them give birth.

Though I would still refuse to sleep on the futon

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#53 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 08:58 AM
 
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I'm considering packing my 'bag' for the hospital. I have been putting it off thinking that I use everything I would need, but maybe not.

So far I am considering packing a toothbrush, toothpaste, small bottle of shampoo and conditioner, belly wrap, some maternity yoga pants and one of my many maternity shirts that won't fit over my belly at the moment as pajamas, and that's it. I can't think of what else to bring. Oh, and some baby clothes and socks. But other than that, I can't think of what I might be forgetting. I plan to get out of there as soon as they will let me out. So hopefully no more than a day or two.

If anyone can think of anything I'm forgetting, please let me know.

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#54 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 09:01 AM
 
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February Chat (Feb DDC)

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Originally Posted by cagnew View Post
Men tend to be in awe of women after seeing them give birth.

Very true! This reminded me of the birth class reunion we had when DS was three months old. We all went around and shared our perspectives of the birth, and the men were all in complete awe of their partners. I cried the whole time DH spoke, because until then I had no idea what it was like to see from the other side, or how he was viewing me then. I'll get teary just thinking of it again!


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#55 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 01:18 PM
 
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I can't wait to see William bonding with the baby!

I've been putting off packing my hospital bag because I have no idea what to pack no matter how many pack lists I read. Would it make sense to wear a long flowy skirt with a sports bra during labor? I don't want to wear a night gown because I want to be able to do immediate skin to skin and I feel like a gown will make that a challenge.
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#56 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 01:19 PM
 
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I can't wait to see William bonding with the baby!

I've been putting off packing my hospital bag because I have no idea what to pack no matter how many pack lists I read. Would it make sense to wear a long flowy skirt with a sports bra during labor? I don't want to wear a night gown because I want to be able to do immediate skin to skin and I feel like a gown will make that a challenge.
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#57 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 01:20 PM
 
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Sorry I have no idea why that posted twice.
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#58 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 01:52 PM
 
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@bren94 Honestly, I plan to wear a hospital gown while laboring with my comfy bathrobe from home. Birth is messy business and I feel like getting my clothes dirty will be just one more thing I don't want to worry about.


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#59 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 02:00 PM
 
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I was thinking of using a cheap black one I have that I don't wear anymore, I'm just not sure if it'd be practical...I hate hospital gowns :/
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#60 of 297 Old 02-04-2015, 02:02 PM
 
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I think ultimately it's what you feel comfortable in. As far as the practicality of the skirt: If it's long, will it be difficult for you to change positions? Will you be able to sit on a birth ball easily if you choose to do so?


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