thanks everyone. i spent 10 hours in bed last night! of course, i had to be up a few million times to go to the bathroom, but i got some much needed rest. i'm taking it easy today too, i'm not even setting foot outside (it's -30 here! brrr!) unless absolutely necessary. i feel like i need to indulge in some self-care and just feel better.
my cousin arrives in town tomorrow, and it will be much easier to talk about all our options with her, the midwives, my doula, etc, once she's here. she's super supportive of a home birth (she requested it!), but i'm not entirely sure how she's feeling about these new developments. it's really weird planning a birth with TWO moms! and i feel like i've had my chance to make my choices for my own kids, and her opinion should weigh more than mine in this situation. so, if she feels safer inducing early or at the hospital, i feel like i need to honour her wishes. i guess we'll find out tomorrow where her mind is at! i feel like when i agreed to go on this journey with her, i also agreed to whatever ending happens to come, whether that's a home birth, hospital, induction or c-sec. i need to take it all in stride. it will all work out how it's supposed to in the end, right?
for the birth, whether it's home or hospital, i'm gonna make sure that no one is allowed to say the words 'big baby' any where in my hearing, LOL. instead, i'm trying to think "healthy baby, strong baby"! i can't help it if this little munchkin is just as happy as can be in there. i have no control over how big he/she grows, and i think a bigger baby is better than a premature or tiny baby. and since we know for sure that i do not have gestational diabetes, i have to trust that my body will just grow this baby to whatever size he/she is supposed to be!
i already feel a ton better today, sometimes it's good to have a 10 minute pity party