Trying not to be anxious... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 11:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Trying not to be anxious...

My baby is very late (41 weeks + 5 days). I know some people are allowed to go over, but my doctor insists on giving me Pitocin Monday morning if anything hasn't magically happened on its own yet. My cervix is ready (3cm dilated), my baby is super low, and I am 85% effaced.

I am a FTM and DH and I have been waiting on the experience of chilbirth for ten years now. It is hard not to have a this perfect idea in your head of how it will be. Hard to let go of expectations, and hard to relax.

Everything I read about Pitocin says that it makes the pain a lot stronger and that many moms ask for an epidural, which may lead to other complications. I had planned on a natural birth with as few interventions as possible, to have the first step be an intervention takes a lot of adjusting on my part.

I think I need to hear more positive stories from moms who had Pitocin, but didn't get an epidural and managed to give birth vaginally. I know that eventually any means to get the baby out is just that: a way to get the baby out, but I am nervous and most of the stories I hear make me feel like I am supposed to give up any of the decisions I took while making my birth plan.

Like people share their intense negative stories, to let me know that c-sections are not that bad after all when they are much needed, and I GET IT. I just wish there was a little more to make me hopeful and make me look up instead of down.

Meanwhile the whole world asks "Baby?" as if DH and I would give birth and just hide the baby away without telling anyone.

Sorry for the rant.
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#2 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 11:46 AM
 
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On Monday morning you can just call and say there was a family emergency and you can't come in. Or just don't show up and tell them that later.

It sounds like you don't think induction is the best course of action. It's your body, your baby, your time.
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#3 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 11:58 AM
 
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Had pitocen induction with my first. Wasn't nearly as painful as my second birth that was started more naturally.
It was fine, all things considered. I was where you are at as far as readiness goes (just a bit earlier in my term and was induced due to a medical complication in myself). Baby nursed right away afterwards. Just focussed on breathing and staying upright and getting a full rest between contractions, and staying hydrated and blood sugars up. You can still be pretty mobile with an IV (saline lock for walks...or just push the IV pole with you down the hall). It's just a PITA, that's all. Just treat it as you would a natural labour. chances are it might get your labour going and then you can stop the pitocen and just let your body take over. I wasn't so lucky - got a super high dose to get me going and needed a high dose to keep it going. But once it really started, boy did it really start. 3 hours from start of active labour to birth. So it wasn't the horror story I have heard it can be. I fared pretty well and baby was totally fine throughout.
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#4 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 03:23 PM
 
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Oh, Shweetface, that sounds really hard. I haven't been induced before, so I'm sorry I can't speak specifically to that experience, but I did just want to offer some positive encouragement. It seems totally understandable that you'd be feeling anxious and frustrated. Have you been trying natural methods of induction already? Do you have a doula or other experienced support person to be with you during labor? I think that makes a big difference.

It's frustrating to hear so many dramatic birth stories when pregnant. I think people mean well, but perhaps have a need to share in order to process their own experiences instead of to encourage a new mom to be. I have met several people who have had induced labors and have avoided further interventions, so I know it is possible! Every birth is different, and yours will be special and beautiful because it is yours. It might help that you're a ftm -- you won't know the difference between pitocin contractions and natural ones -- maybe that will work in your favor So much of birthing is psychological.

I also get the annoyance of having people constantly ask if you've had the baby yet-- it adds a lot of pressure!

I hope this helps a little and I hope you get some juicy words of wisdom from other moms who've induced. Congratulations on expecting your first baby after ten years of trying!! That is wonderful!!

Hoping your baby decides to come on his/her own naturally this weekend
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#5 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 05:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@salr , that's some pretty wild advice. I am trying to think of a family emergency that could possibly be more important than giving birth...
@alpenglow , thanks for sharing your experience. It is really important for me to not only think of worse case scenarios. I like hearing that your baby nursed right away.
@Operamama1 , thank you. Even though you haven't had to use Pitocin, I appreciate your kindness. Throughout my pregnancy I have heavily relied on friends for support as things with my families are always a bit weird and got even weirder. And so far my friends have been pretty incredible, it's only now that I think the excitement is catching up with them and they can't help but inquire after the baby every two days, not imagining that I could possibly still be pregnant. And I think that in the excitement they are trying to make me feel better, but accidentally spilling the beans on the worst parts of their labor (I would have prefered to hear about that months ago rather than two days away from the big event).
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#6 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 06:06 PM
 
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DDC crashing:

Just a tip- have them start the Pit low, and once labor begins and gets going pretty well, ask them to try turning OFF the pit. There is a great chance your body will just take over on it's own.

Is Cervidil an option? Or a foley induction? Those might be possible before going with the Pit.

Here is a link to story of a mom who was induced and didn't use any pain meds:
http://www.hellobee.com/2013/03/06/b...s-birth-story/

I have been induced twice. I did get an epidural both times. However, I've since birthed two more babies naturally and I *think* I could do a Pit birth without pain meds now. Yes, the contractions with Pit are different, but if the drip is managed carefully I think they can be do-able.

Really, you are probably so close to actually going into labor that there is a good chance you won't need to be on Pitocin for long at all! Heck, you might not end up needing it all!

Corrie, "trad" Catholic, wife to DH and Mom to DD (4/07), DS (2/09), DD (2/11), DD (4/13), two angel babies. 
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#7 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 07:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@cagnew , thanks for the story, I will get DH to read it. It is a good reminder of things we learned during childbirth class.
@alpenglow , I personally really want to try to avoid pain medications because I tend to be super sensitive to any type of medicines (or even mild hormones) I live a pretty strict drug-free lifestyle (I don't drink, I don't even drink coffee) so the smallest amount of anything can really take me for a loop. It warms my heart to know that a meds-free induction is possible. I just want the option to try!

Will go on another walk with DH tonight.
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#8 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 07:45 PM
 
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I'm watching this thread with great interest because I totally could have written this post. We're in pretty much the same situation, Shweetface, except I'm at 40 weeks 6 days, so not quite as far along. I felt like all the birth stories I've heard recently involving pitocin ended in c-sections, and that was really scaring me since my doctor usually induces at 41 weeks. I could feel all my choices about my birth experience starting to slip though my fingers. I have an old high school friend who is now an OB and talking with her really helped - especially to hear that she's seen lots of induced births that did not end in a c-section. I also spoke with my doctor and she's willing to wait a few more days, especially since my EDD may not have been super accurate (they adjusted it by a week at the 20-week ultrasound, which apparently is not usually done). However, I'm still a bit anxious because none of the natural induction methods I've tried seem to do anything at all - nipple stimulation, acupressure, sex. I even had my doctor strip my membranes on Friday, but no such luck.

The main thing I'm worried about is not being able to get up and move around. It's not just the IV - don't they need to do continuous fetal monitoring when you're on pitocin? This seems like it would limit movement. Can someone who's had an induced birth say something about their experience with the monitoring?
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#9 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 07:52 PM
 
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I'm glad it helped to hear that. I remember feeling some anxiety before that birth, similar to what you expressed. I fantasized about natural childbirth all pregnancy, researched a tonne....and having to be induced really threw me for a loop! I don't react well to meds either and knew I wouldn't want any. And it turns out things happened so fast that I didn't even get to the point of it crossing my mind to ask. Once I was fully dilated and through transition, the contractions didn't hurt as much.

Just remember to keep your bladder emptied though - that's what drove me to scream the second time round!

May the next few days be blessed with treasured memories of the final days of pregnancy. Enjoy it while you can. Take care.
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#10 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 10:20 PM
 
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Of course nothing is more important than your baby's birth. I think you may have taken my advice/ support wrong. I was just saying that ultimately you get to decide what to do. You never need a real or even believable excuse to do what you think the right thing is.

Reading further, it sounds like you think the right thing to do is to go in for an induction, make it the best experience possible, and surround yourself with positive stories. I want to send you support for doing that too. I hope you're holding your baby soon and have a great birth!
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#11 of 17 Old 01-17-2015, 11:59 PM
 
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I had continuous monitoring, via a belt - needed to gauge how strong contractions were to know how much dosage of the IV med to give. I sat on a birth ball and bounced and it mostly stayed in place. But they were always having to readjust it. But I was allowed to take it off at one point - after labour got intense enough the Pitocen was stopped and my body took over. They just monitored with a handheld Doppler. I don't know that the research supports continuous vs intermittent monitoring...and I think some nurses or OB's might be ok with intermittent monitoring if its going well?

If cervix already dilated and ripe, etc...then I seem to recall that Pitocen is better than cervadil (which is more of a cervix ripener).
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#12 of 17 Old 01-18-2015, 12:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@ajoye , yeah, your situation makes me glad that my hospital's policy is 42 weeks instead of 41.

At this point, this truly isn't ideal. But I do really like and trust my doctor and honestly, the alternatives where I live are not the greatest. I can't see myself suddendly switching to a midwife who doesn't know me at 41 weeks and 6 days and I can't see myself arguing with the doctor for one more day, two more days, three more days... as I have no idea when this baby is thinking of coming out.

Whenever I go for a walk, I cramp a lot. But that's it. I know I'm having contractions but they are very mild and irregular. Some of the positive stories I've read have involved babies deciding to come at the very last minute (before the scheduled induction) but now I have to give up on miracles and focus on making the best out of what is going to happen to me tomorrow. I am definitely anxious, I have all this paperwork I am reading. My DH and doula know that I still want the smallest amount of interventions possible...

I do feel like my body is getting closer. I can feel that I am close, just not quite enough.

Over the last two weeks I have tried so many things. Acupuncture, dates, pineapples, eggplants, sex, walking uphill, relaxing my pelvic muscles, meditating. This baby is stubborn! Like me! And last minute! Like me!

I asked my doctor about sweeping my membranes and she said that in her experience it doesn't work with a FTM, that she has done it four times in a row for some patients without any results, that if you've had a baby before it is more likely to be effective.

I hate the expression "LET IT GO" especially since they've turned it into a song, but I know that is what I am supposed to try to do at this point.
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#13 of 17 Old 01-18-2015, 01:27 PM
 
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I didn't get induced with pitocin, but I did have a drip towards the end of my labor with my first due to being in long labor. I actually didn't notice much of a difference in the contractions, maybe because I was already so far along? My contractions had already been very painful for a while and I had some fentanyl to help deal with that but it wasn't due to the pitocin. And I delivered vaginally about 3 hours after they started the pitocin drip. I just wanted to give some words on pitocin even if it isn't an induction story, hopefully it helps a little. I wish you good luck in your birth journey, whatever ultimately happens.
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#14 of 17 Old 01-18-2015, 02:06 PM
 
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Ddc crashing! I kust had my first pain med free birth. I agree with others. Keep you voice/sounds low. Before the midwives showed up I was screaming. They coached me to lower the noise to a deeper level (not just quieter) and it was night and day! Pain was so much less. Good luck tomorrow!
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#15 of 17 Old 01-18-2015, 02:19 PM
 
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Luckily they're not being super strict about the 41 weeks thing. When I brought up the due date change, my doctor was like, yeah, you're probably somewhere between 39 weeks 5 days and 40 weeks 5 days (on Friday). And she said that mostly it's the mothers that insist on getting induced at 41 weeks because they're tired of being pregnant - so while it is standard hospital policy not to wait for 42 weeks it's not as strict a policy as I thought at first. And yeah, sweeping the membranes doesn't seem to have done much of anything except caused a bit of spotting and cramping.
My mom actually had that experience of being scheduled for an induction and going into labor naturally right at the last minute TWICE. But I'm with you, I'm not going to expect that to happen for me! I know for me one of the hardest parts about letting my plans for natural childbirth go is that this may be my only birth experience, so it's not like I'll necessarily have a second chance to have the birth I want. It's hard for me to come to terms with the idea that my only experience with birth may just be with a whole bunch of medical interventions that I didn't want.
No matter what happens, I wish you the best of luck and that it all goes as smoothly as possible.
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#16 of 17 Old 01-18-2015, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh, @ajoye , I totally feel you on the "this might be my only baby" thing. I am 33 and as much as DH and I have always wanted "a kid", we are still on the fence about having "more than one". I really want to see what this is like first and I know it seems weird to some people, but just one child seems really appealing to us. We have wanted to make a person together for so long, I don't know if I have the energy/patience to try for another (we still don't understand why it worked this time around after years of trying)...

And so letting go off the plan A of my birthplan and going with plan B is a little extra hard, because it's not like in my mind I am completely totally devoted to the idea of getting pregnant again in a couple years. It could take us so long to make another baby.

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories and I'll try to write again in the next few days so that you have an update, especially you @ajoye , I hope your birth adventure goes well.
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#17 of 17 Old 01-20-2015, 04:13 PM
 
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Another mama DDCC...

I know your doctor said stripping membranes doesn't usually work for FTMs, but it could be worth a shot, especially since your cervix seems ripe.

My cervix was in a similar state near the end of my last pregnancy (3-4 cm, 90% effaced, baby low) and midwife stripped my membranes one afternoon. I went home and had sex with DH, then even broke out the BoB. That was one intense O that went on and on and on... Woke up in the morning with lots of bloody show and was 6cm. Went about my day, laid down to sleep at night and 10 minutes later, HUGE contraction and 2 hours later = baby. I'm a precipitous birther, so that's not really typical, but I think the stripping of membranes on a ripe cervix plus the sex and strong contractions from orgasm really moved things along.

Oh fark, I just realized this induction was scheduled for yesterday. Oh well. I'll leave my message in case you decided not to go in...

Maybe you're already holding your baby! However it turns/turned out, I hope you enjoy your labor/birth and of course, that snuggly new baby!

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