March chat - anyone around? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 03-10-2015, 01:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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March chat - anyone around?

Is anyone still checking the forums? I know we're all busy with our new babies, but I know I for one could still use some community. I'm having a pretty hard time, and I know part of that is recovering from surgery while trying to care for a newborn, but I'm not sure at this point (nearly 6 weeks postpartum) how much is normal. I did have a pretty traumatic experience but should I still be crying every day? Roland is my first and I guess I just wasn't prepared for how difficult it would be. Of course I thought I'd be able to wear him and hold him more, but having a large vertical incision on my belly has made that difficult. If I want to go out with him I need to put him in the stroller, and if I need to pick him up I have to hold him pretty high, which aggravates my back. It doesn't help that he's already around 13 lbs so he's quite heavy. I'm starting to get pain in my wrists which worries me. I can't stop picking him up though!
He's also in this stage where he's super fussy when I try to feed him and it seems like he's forgotten how to latch properly. I'm worried I'm going to develop an infection from a bad latch. And then he only feeds for a short time before fussing again, and I'm left with engorgement and no time to pump since I'm trying to comfort him. He won't take a bottle either, which is making me worry about how he's going to do when I have to bring him to daycare when I go back to work.
On the bright side, he's been smiling regularly for several weeks now and he's definitely getting more interactive and fun. It makes it all a bit more rewarding
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#2 of 18 Old 03-10-2015, 09:35 PM
 
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I'm here! I'll need to come back for a long response, but the short answer is that it sounds like you could definitely benefit from a postpartum support group. And please bring up your concerns at your 6 week pp visit. It sounds like you are going through PPD and that is not good. I've walked in those dark places and it isn't pretty. It is important to recognize it and seek help now. Many hugs to you!
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#3 of 18 Old 03-11-2015, 01:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That"s what worries me. Everything I read says it may be PPD if it lasts more than the first few weeks, but on the other hand I kind of think anyone who went through what I did would still be upset. I have my postpartum visit this week; I'll see what my doctor says.
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#4 of 18 Old 03-11-2015, 04:03 PM
 
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I'm still here, though it's a bit harder to find time to type these days, obviously! I miss talking to all you ladies though and often wonder how you are all doing with your babies.

Ajoye, that all sounds really hard. I'm sending you a virtual hug! I agree with Greenmama that you should talk to your doctor soon. That being said, I think it is completely understandable that you're having these feelings. You had what sounds like a traumatic birth experience and you need time to heal, both physically and emotionally. It's hard to heal when you have a newborn who is demanding so much of you. My babies are both big and my back and wrists are always sore and that just adds to any emotional stress. I can't imagine having an abdominal surgery to recover from,too. Your feelings, sad, happy, whatever, are all valid!

Bottom line, it sounds to me like you need support. Your doctor should be able to help you get the resources you need. Is your husband helpful? Do you have friends to talk to? Have you tried a LA Leche League meeting? Library story time? Mom's exercise groups? You need to get together with other moms and know you aren't alone.

As for the breastfeeding issues, my older one fussed a lot for the first three months. I think I had a fast let down/oversupply issue. It seems the same this time around, but I know what to do so I don't get as stressed out. Do try your best not to get engorged since that will effect supply. Babies digestive systems are immature and usually things start to get better in this regard around 3 months (what my doctor told me). That being said you should see a professional or a La Leche League person (check online- should be a free support person near you to call) to figure out what is going on. Don't try to diagnose yourself.

Ok, getting off my soap box now. I just really want you to know you are not alone. Motherhood is not a pinterest party, it is messy and hard and we all need to help each other!
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#5 of 18 Old 03-11-2015, 07:32 PM
 
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Still here as well. Just like others finding time anymore is a pain. I always wondered why it seemed stay at homes moms were always cleaning...I now know why and my baby can't even get into anything! Seems like if i'm not holding him i'm either cooking or cleaning, or lately trying to work out and get back into shape.

Been having a bit of a hard time. My wonderfully sleeping/eating baby hit his first growth spurt. He was eating around the clock every hour and a half First day it hit after fighting all day trying to have enough milk to fed him I ended up giving him some formula since I just had no milk left at all. I even tried pumping for 20 minutes to try and bring more on and nothing. Since then he has ended up having a bottle or so a day of formula as my body just can't seem to make as much as he wants. I have been trying to pump as he sleeps to bring more on but so far it has made no difference... Is there anything else I can try? Or do I just need to accept that he will have to have a mix of breast milk and formula?

On top of that he is in fact lactose intolerant Which means no dairy for me unless it's lactose free or soy or something of that sort. Though the formula does not seem to effect him? Which does not make a bit of sense to me, I have tried to see what happens when i eat dairy and he ends up in so much pain and tummy troubles. But nothing wrong if I give him formula? Odd I know...

In other news it seems we are starting to get a bit of sleep pattern back again,which is wonderful. Though he seems to only take a morning and afternoon nap unless i'm out and he gets bored. Back up to a 4 hour stretch at night, then a 2-3 hour stretch. Have ended up co sleeping for the most part, much to hubby's dismay since any noise wakes him up. But for me it is wonderful that I don't have to get up to feed him. He is just a loud feeder which wakes hubby.

ajoye, sorry your having so many problems. Being a first time mom I don't really have anything that i can say to help though Mine started to become a fussy feeder but seems most of the time it's either when he needs burped or when I run out of milk. Hope you can get the problems sorted out, but I really think you should see someone. I'm not an emotional type person so I have only cried a handful of times since having Aiden, but I think crying everyday would really be a problem that needs to be sorted.


Aiden at 9 weeks old, Up to 13lbs 10 oz now
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#6 of 18 Old 03-12-2015, 02:29 AM
 
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I'm new, but around! We are slowly getting more sleep, as there are longer stretches between nursing. Still working on weight gain after having both a lip and tongue tie clipped. It's been a very slow process with flat and inverted nipples. Nothing really exciting other than that for us.

@eternity9111 - in the first few days you have colostrum not milk. That's normal and feeds your baby just fine as their stomach is so tiny and it's so nutritionally dense. Pumping for 20 minutes once isn't going to do anything to increase your supply. If you want to pump to do that it's 10+ minutes after each feed around the clock, which should be about every 2 hours. There are other methods to increase your supply depending on what you're comfortable with and what your body responds to. Some ideas as lactation cookies, nursing tea, herbal supplements, and prescription drugs. If you're bottle feeding that is hurting your supply. Every time you do that your body is getting the signal that it doesn't need to produce milk. Put your baby to the breast instead if you want to breastfeed. Formula further compounds nursing issues by stretching their stomach, and creating an unreasonable demand for breastfeeding.

@ajoye - I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. After 3 weeks post partum your hormones start to even out a bit, so you're less likely to have those huge ups and downs. Still crying every day is a red flag and not generally normal even in early days. Did you speak to your care provider at your 6 week post partum check? They should be able to help connect you with local support options if you need something more personal. A traumatic birth experience makes it so much harder to heal physically and emotionally. Did you ever write out a detailed birth story? Even if you don't share it, sometimes it can help getting it off your chest so to speak. At 6 weeks your baby is going through a growth spurt, so it may be the cause of his frequent fussing. Give him the boob at every wiggle, so your body knows to increase your supply for his increased demand. If you're concerned about latching is there a local lactation consultant you can see?
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#7 of 18 Old 03-12-2015, 06:00 PM
 
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I wish I had more time to right but it's my daughter, arianna 8th birthday today so things have been even more hectic than usual with all 4!!! I never even wrote my birth story but we had a big beautiful baby boy, Hawken born on 1/15/15 at home in the water- great birth and he was huge at 9.4 oz than ended up with RSV at 21 days and hospitalized for 8 days- it was horrible!!! Now a month home and thriving, smiling lots anf great all around Ajoye, I am sorry you are going through that...does seem like ppd I would try doing something for yourself even if it is a walk or 15 mintutes of yoga or geeting out to do a class if you can leave baby with hubby for an hour... also rescue remedy could be helpful for both you and baby. Phytolacca helps tremendously with mastitus if you feel engorged and will not affect breastfeeding, keeping nursing is key and I would strongly suggest getting that baby checked for tongue and or lip tie at his next appt. if doctor seems ignorant to those things contact your local laleche league . Don't feel alone many mommas experience these things!
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#8 of 18 Old 03-12-2015, 08:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@Jenabear - I was going to write out my birth story but I just haven't been able to bear it. Some details are already starting to fade but the sense of everything spiraling out of control is still there. Plus the long open incision still healing on my belly that reminds me every day. My 6 week visit is tomorrow, and I'm definitely going to bring this up. I think that any treatment for PPD is only going to add to my stress level, though. It's difficult enough to get around and adding more appointments is only going to make things worse. Hopefully no one suggests medication because 1) I've been on antidepressants before and hated them and 2) breastfeeding is the only thing I have left of the things I wanted to do, and I don't want to fail at this too if they prescribe something that is bad for baby.
My hospital/medical center offers lots of breastfeeding support and I've already contacted a lactation nurse. She seemed to think it might be an oversupply issue. I know he can latch because he was doing it perfectly for weeks. He just doesn't seem to want to now.
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#9 of 18 Old 03-13-2015, 11:24 AM
 
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I was checking the forums regularly for a while but gave up because everything seemed so quiet. It was nice to get updates from all of you.

@ajoye , I am sorry for the slow recovery. I am also a first time mom and honestly what you describe doesn't sound THAT different from what I have been working my way around. I don't have a scar and my birthing experience was definitely positive (but hard) but I can relate to how overwhelming it all is. You have no idea what it is going to be like until you are in it, crying newborn in your arms.

While I think it wouldn't hurt to talk to someone about possible PPD, I could easily see myself crying every day if it wasn't for a couple crucial activities I have allowed myself to take time away from my daughter for. My DH is at home all day, so I am not alone. That is huge. I think the way you express your feelings in the first post shows that you are aware of yourself and lucid enough to manage. Your baby getting to 13 pounds is another fact you should be proud of, nice work feeding that baby!

We've had some issues with oversupply/overactive letdown around here. It can be pretty heartbreaking at times, my daughter will get hungry, ask for milk, but wail at the boob and push me away. I have talked to a nurse, my doula and two lactation consultants about it. Slowly getting the hang of it. We had green poops for a while and every day that we don't have them is a blessing.

We also got in a sleep pattern. At first the nights were pretty awful and DH and I were zombies, but things changed once I gave in and started to go to bed with her at 8:30PM (no later than 9:30). It makes it so that I don't get to do much anymore, but while her and I sleep soundly, DH gets a couple hours to clean the house and handle the essentials. And when I have to get up in the night I FEEL RESTED, like I actually slept some.

I have also found that going on a walk with her at least once a day is HUGE. I wear her in an ergo carrier and we are out and about for one to two hours, sometimes three times a day. She sleeps, or watches the world go by peacefully. If we stay home my life becomes the couch and waiting around between feedings. I'd rather be outside. And in "real life" when I am "normal" I am already prone to depression, so getting out of the house really has saved me from PPD, I think.

@ajoye , do you think an ergo carrier would be too much for your incision to take? If so, a stroller is definitely an option you should feel good about. You taking yourself and your child out into the world is excellent. Remember: YOU ARE DOING A GOOD JOB!

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#10 of 18 Old 03-13-2015, 03:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks, @Shweetface . If i could wear him I think it would make things so much easier. I tried the Moby wrap yesterday and wasn't able to hold him high enough to keep off the incision. I had pretty bad abdominal pain all evening after trying, which was so disappointing. I think my problem is he's so long and I'm so short (5'2" in shoes) that he'll always be resting on my belly. We have a Boba 4G which is like the Ergo, and I've been too chicken to try it. I do try to get out on at least one walk a day with the stroller (doctor's orders for my surgery recovery) and I do feel better afterwards.

My doctor referred me to therapy services so I'll see how that goes. We're fairly new in town with no one I can leave the baby with, so with my husband back at work I'm not sure what to do about going to extra appointments. I'm just worried the added stress will make me feel worse, not better.
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#11 of 18 Old 03-14-2015, 10:59 AM
 
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@ajoye
Have you considered hiring a post-partum doula for a couple days?
I know your husband and you decided to skip a doula's services earlier on, but it sounds as though right now, in your new town, you could benefit from an extra hand to handle tasks around the house and look after your baby so you can sneak in a break.

My doula offers this service, we haven't felt the need for it because there are two of us, but I know other women who've hired her to come over in the early weeks and do anything from laundry to babysitting the baby for an hour or so.

If you fear appointments might make your life more stressful, perhaps using the money to hire outside help could bring you more peace.
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#12 of 18 Old 03-15-2015, 07:48 PM
 
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Hey, first time checking in for a month. I didn't read all posts as it is bedtime but I wanted to comment a few that I really suggest you read into more.

Ajoye and eternity id look into allergy. A lot of tummy trouble and fussing at the breast is allergy to proteins, not lactose. If eliminating dairy hasn't given him relief, try another food. I am now eliminating dairy, egg, wheat/gluten and corn. I may have to go further before I add the, back in one by one slowly to see if she has a reaction. Eternity, if formula doesn't bother your baby, then it's probably something else you are eating...not always an allergy for sure, but it is very common for newborns despite the fact that most babies are undiagnosed or called colicky or high needs...really, try it and there is nothing to lose save for a few foods for a short time.

A joye, crying daily at this point is not normal. I agree that finding a herapist familiar with ppd is a grand idea. My anxiety gets pretty bad once a week or so, and some days with three kids under four is just freakin hard. Ugh. But I am finding most of it enjoyable, or rather, I find joy in it like sun breaking through clouds.

I would love to red more comments and respond but it is bedtime.

Update from us...Gwen is 7 weeks old and is doing awesome beside being pretty sensitive to food it seems. She is a very smiley baby and sleeps a good 4-5 hours at night during her one long stretch before dosing on and off for 2 hours at a time.

I am not losing weight because I am comfort eating chocolate when my day gets hard or exhausting. I also have been turning to a glass of wine like every few days, and trying to avoid BF for two hours so it clears the milk. I feel a lot of guilt over not being perfect but man some days lately I just feel desperate for relief. It's very stressful and my body feels likes it has been in a battle. Sore aching and exhausted. Everything is still covered in a foot of snow here. I am waiting impatiently for the thaw and to get the heck outside. I do take Gwen for walks and she is a very good baby worm on my chest. So that helps, but it's cold and windy so I can't go out often.

Anyway, I'll come back soon to chat.
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#13 of 18 Old 03-16-2015, 02:55 PM
 
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Take your time, and if you're not ready now that's ok. If you have a good care provider, not all treatments should involve prescriptions or appointments. There are many different ways to approach the healing process. How you do it should be individual to your needs and preferences. I believe in more natural approaches myself, so I completely understand not wanting drugs for depression.

Hope that your lactation consult goes well!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ajoye View Post
@Jenabear - I was going to write out my birth story but I just haven't been able to bear it. Some details are already starting to fade but the sense of everything spiraling out of control is still there. Plus the long open incision still healing on my belly that reminds me every day. My 6 week visit is tomorrow, and I'm definitely going to bring this up. I think that any treatment for PPD is only going to add to my stress level, though. It's difficult enough to get around and adding more appointments is only going to make things worse. Hopefully no one suggests medication because 1) I've been on antidepressants before and hated them and 2) breastfeeding is the only thing I have left of the things I wanted to do, and I don't want to fail at this too if they prescribe something that is bad for baby.
My hospital/medical center offers lots of breastfeeding support and I've already contacted a lactation nurse. She seemed to think it might be an oversupply issue. I know he can latch because he was doing it perfectly for weeks. He just doesn't seem to want to now.
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#14 of 18 Old 03-19-2015, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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update - I have a therapist appt tomorrow morning and I'll see how it goes. I am doing much better this week. I really think I was just overtired from my first full week on my own with Roland when my doctor saw me last week. Also, i've always expressed just about every emotion with tears; I think many people who don't cry as easily find that alarming (when it's actually just natural for me). She even referred me as an urgent case! Anyway I started going to a local new moms group and I'm feeling less alone which helps. It also verified that my little guy is truly a giant baby. He was bigger than the 14-week-old!

I'm wondering if anyone else is trying to nurse + pump? How the heck do you manage it? Roland's mostly been napping for only 30-40 minutes at a time, and I need to use that time to eat, throw laundry in the machine, pee, etc. He's in this stage where he likes to snack instead of having a full meal so I feel like I need to keep the Mommy milk bar open and available at all times. Not sure if it's possible to break him of this habit. I'd swaddle to encourage longer naps but my little houdini is now able to break free from even the velcro swaddlers.

How's everyone else doing this week?
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#15 of 18 Old 03-20-2015, 01:53 PM
 
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During the day I nurse, and during the night I nurse then pump. It's not feasible for me to pump during the day. I have other children to care for! I don't get much, around 3oz a night, but we aren't bottle feeding so it's just going to stash for now.

Quote:
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I'm wondering if anyone else is trying to nurse + pump? How the heck do you manage it? Roland's mostly been napping for only 30-40 minutes at a time, and I need to use that time to eat, throw laundry in the machine, pee, etc. He's in this stage where he likes to snack instead of having a full meal so I feel like I need to keep the Mommy milk bar open and available at all times. Not sure if it's possible to break him of this habit. I'd swaddle to encourage longer naps but my little houdini is now able to break free from even the velcro swaddlers.
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#16 of 18 Old 03-26-2015, 06:00 PM
 
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I hope your apt went well ajoye. We are doing better this week than the past few. It is still really hard sometimes to manage three little ones, especially because my 2 yo is teething molars and he has been super clingy, whiny, crying and fussy...I've had to ask my DH to take one day off of work each week until this week. This is my first FULL week on duty from 630 am-4 pm. And I DID IT!!!!!


I think of it as if each week is a mountain I have to climb. Wed is the top of the mountain...I am totally spent by Wed, and Thursday is exhaustion and Friday I get a little second wind with my totally wiped self knowing that I am almost done with my tremendous work!!! At lest for the weekend, when I have DH and older son to help care for the boys. And I can sit down for a bit while I nurse. During the week, I often have to hold the baby in one arm and nurse while I cook for the boys or get them art supplies while I nurse AND eat a scrapped together lunch.


Speaking of eating, Gwen's reaction to food has gotten worse--her whole body is covered in eczema, goopy eyes, congestion and mucus, blood and mucus in stools, very spitty and fussy/colic-- so I am now on a strict Paleo/ Autoimmune diet (meat, Veg, fruit, bone broth) and that is it, along with a bunch of digestive enzymes, probiotics, and vitamins. I've been starving. But I am at least losing weight again now I cannot wait for SPRING WEATHER!!!!!!! By the way, I think she is gorgeous. The more I look at her and sing to her (and watch her sing back to me), I fall more deeply in love and I am so grateful that I have a daughter, something I never thought I'd have, and I know that all this hard terrible painful time is worth it.

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#17 of 18 Old 03-27-2015, 05:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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@writermama12 I don't know how you do it with three other kids! Just 1 baby is hard enough... Ugh, regarding the food sensitivities; that sounds really trying. Roland spits up a lot so I've considered trying to see if there's some trigger in my diet, but as much as I'd like it to stop I suspect this is just the way he's going to be until his system matures a bit. So I'm just doing lots of laundry.

The appointment went well. The therapist pointed out that I am experiencing symptoms of grief and loss resulting from my birth experience, which really helped define what I've been feeling and I think is a helpful way to think about it. Especially since I'm probably not doing this again, it's been really hard for me to let go of the fact that this difficult experience is the only birth experience I'm ever going to have. She said I have some depression symptoms that are pretty minor, so it's not like I'm in crisis or anything. She suggested a support group for moms who had complications from childbirth. There isn't an opening until a few weeks from now but I think talking with other moms about it will help.
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#18 of 18 Old 04-19-2015, 10:38 PM
 
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Ajoye do you have Instagram? You mite check out empoweredbirthproject she had an emergency c-section, and has a lot to share about recovery both phiycaly and emotionally.

Hope everyone is doing well
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