Why do you belong on mothering? - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 57 Old 09-20-2014, 10:02 PM
 
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I'm way less crunchy than pretty much everyone on this board, some by choice and some by reality. I had a higher risk pregnancy last time and didn't think twice about delivering at the hospital (which is very baby friendly). As it was I ended up with a c-section, and I think it's probably likely I'll end up with another one this time due to the reasons I had a c-section last time. I guess I'm just trying to make peace with it.

I don't CD, I don't HB, I vaccinate according to schedule, and we're religious Jews so we definitely circ. I had a breast reduction so my breastfeeding ability is complicated, so we FF for the most part (though I'm looking into some help this time).

I'm on Mothering because the women parent the way I parent. IMHO, being a "crunchy" parent isn't about whether or not you do this or that but about your attitude towards parenting and raising children. I believe in positive discipline, I'd never lay my hand on my kid, and I believe children need to be touched and held and responded to as little people.

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#32 of 57 Old 09-20-2014, 10:17 PM
 
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I agree, SeattleRain, Mothering is a state of mind. Hope you like it here.

"Vaccines are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get - acute hemorrhagic edema of infancy, allergies, anaphylaxis, asthma, autoimmune disease, diabetes, eczema, petit/gran mal seizures, fibromyalgia, Henoch-Schonlein purpua, Dravet's Syndrome, Retts Syndrome, Sweet's Syndrome, Hughes Syndrome, encephalitis, speech delay, tics, neurological damage, coma, ADEM, ADHD, AFP, ASIA, CFS, CRPS, GBS, ITP, JPA, JRA, LGS, LKS, MS, OMS, ORS, PANDAS, PANS, PINTANDS, POF, POTS, RA, SIDS, SJS, SLE, SPD, SUDS, TPI, the disease one is being vaccinated against, or death."

Paraphrased from "Forrest Gump".

List from the drug companies' own package inserts that come with their product as required by law.
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#33 of 57 Old 09-21-2014, 06:52 AM
 
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I also can't stand the term "anti-vax". The idea, in concept, has merit and may well be the right answer for some illness. We don't vaccinate because I don't believe vaccines are being used safely and responsibly and I don't like that there is no accountability for adverse reactions. I also don't like the bullying and fear mongering tactics and would like to see, among other things, more honest and realistic risk vs. benefit data from the CDC. I'm not counting on it anytime soon, but a girl can dream. In the meantime, we feel safer abstaining.
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#34 of 57 Old 09-21-2014, 01:02 PM
 
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Oh! I forgot about the positive parenting aspect. Duh! :-)

I love the encouragement in that area too. Attachment parenting was a natural off-shoot from all the natural birth, etc that I learned about during pregnancy (I started w/a few of Dr Sears' books). I definitely wasn't raised that way, so it's NOT a natural thing for me beyond infancy. And, I don't have that much local/IRL support for that sort of thing, so definitely Mothering is a great place to learn and be encouraged. :-)
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Actually, I'm a joyful mom of three and counting! (I was a tad short-sighted when picking my username!
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) Married to DH since 2006, mom of DS (2007), DD (2009), DS2 (2012) and a new little one expected early May 2015!
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#35 of 57 Old 09-23-2014, 06:44 AM
 
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I'm here because the mainstream DDC I have been on has slowly been killing my joy and curiosity over the last few years. So many people are mean and hateful~ A friend recommended I check y'all out, so here I am!
we cloth diapered DD1, mainly because we were off the grid in the Dominican Republic, and we liked the environmental side of it, as well as not putting weird stuff on our baby 24/7. BUT with DD2, we slacked and went full time disposable, as we were making the transitional back to life in the suburbs. i would like to go back to CD with ##3. I breastfeed until my babies say no more, 14 months with DD1 and DD2 is 13 months and going strong. I feed their tummies good, real food, and try to fill their minds and hearts with good, real food too.

I have been learning more and more about positive parenting over the last year, but I am still not confident in myself with it...like, am i really doing it? We don't spank, but we do time outs, that she moderates. we vax, i am anti circ, but hub is pro, so we will have that discussion after the 20w ultrasound I guess.
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#36 of 57 Old 09-25-2014, 10:25 AM
 
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Hello!

Hmmm not sure how crunchy I am but like the positive feel from this board :-)

I formula fed my first daughter as didn't manage to breastfeed, but then exclusively breastfed my son until four years old.

I didn't really baby wear with my first, but with my second I just about held him for the entire first 12 months of his life. We also coslept with our second, and actually he does still come in mid way through the night.

Really would like to do cloth diapering this time around, never tried before.

We send our kids to Montessori based schools, I'm afraid I just don't think I have the patience to home school.

I do vaccinate, usually on schedule (ha, if I remember!).

On the definitely less crunchy side we're a military family and have to move a lot, I guess that does make us kind of nomadic but without any choice ;-)
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#37 of 57 Old 09-25-2014, 04:55 PM
 
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I definitely feel like I fit in on this site. We had a home birth with my first (preg with #2 ) but he got stuck and I had to have a c-section. Will be working with the same midwives this time although I am a little more nervous than last time and might be looking into birth centers. I don't like dealing with ob/gyns in this area they act like they are better than you and in a hurry all the time.

I am still breast feeding my son who is 16 months old. We had a rough start (tongue tie) but I was so set on breast feeding we finally had success at 2 weeks old and have been going strong ever since even though I work part time. My supply has dropped so much though since I got pregnant. Will it come back at some point or not till the baby comes?

We do not vaccinate. I never knew much about vaccinations until I was pregnant and I have been learning new and scary information ever since. I think they were a great idea at first but rather than focusing on making safer vaccines when people started having reactions, the companies focused on getting the government to help promote them and to take accountability away so they don't pay a dime when a vaccine hurts some one. Oh sorry I can get carried away just saying I don't trust pharmaceutical companies enough to vaccinate but I understand why many do.

-We follow attachment parenting for the most part. Myself more than my husband. I love baby wearing and co sleeping although my husband isn't the biggest fan. Followed a lot of Dr. Sears' advice throughout pregnancy and afterwards.
-We don't use cloth diapers. Thought about it but too lazy I guess.
-We did not circumcise him. I didn't feel it was my place to make a choice like that for him but will gladly pay to have it done should he ever decide that is what he wants.
-we both went to public school and hated it so we are homeschooling at all costs.
-we try to eat healthy, real food and I'm always telling the husband about new chemicals to watch for... As he rolls his eyes and sighs usually. It's tough though all the cheap food is horrible for you!

Nice to meet all of you! Can't wait to see all the beautiful babies in May!
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#38 of 57 Old 09-26-2014, 05:10 AM
 
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Kate: If and when your breastmilk dries up is totally personal to your body. My experience from my last pregnancy is that my milk was totally gone by 12 weeks (I always had an abundant supply before that) and didn't come back until I gave birth. My DD1 ended up self weaning shortly after because she wasn't a comfort nurser and she lost interest.. However, everyone's experience is different and it's impossible to say what your body will do.
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#39 of 57 Old 09-26-2014, 03:29 PM
 
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When I had my first at 22, I really didn't fit in anywhere (this is a new account). I breast fed for two years, cloth diapered when I was broke, wore my son until I couldn't carry him anymore, and didn't approve of Johnson's and Johnson's baby wash. My friends who had babies around the time I did were the exact opposite, kept their kids in strollers, formula fed, and left them in "pampers" for way too long wondering why my son had never had a rash. The other major thing that set me apart was the fact that I was the only one who kept my son in tact. And here the hospitals charge 200 bucks! I'm Greek, so we don't believe in that anyway, but people thought I was nuts. My son is happy, healthier, and way smarter than my friends kids. When he started to get allergies (only hit him once), I gave him raw local honey and elder berry syrup and he is now the only one who doesn't need an asthma pump! I just wanted to talk to other mama's like me, even though I live in the city and have never grown anything in my life, or lived off the grid or anything. I truly admire that simplistic lifestyle because I've come to realize, there are way less headaches and it's easier!
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#40 of 57 Old 09-28-2014, 06:31 PM
 
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I know how you felt spiralbreeze no one on either side of our family does anything like I do and they have been that way for generations. Since I am the youngest mother in the family they all act like I'm being foolish and silly and i have to constantly defend myself. Honestly I'm scared my MIL will find a way to get shots for my son if it's ever possible because we always fight about it. I just follow my gut and do what seems right after lots of research. I don't just follow trends.
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#41 of 57 Old 10-31-2014, 12:48 PM
 
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I'm going to drag up this thread because I'm bored at work

I've actually been reading Mothering forums since I was a teenager, dreaming about having kids and what kind of mom I'd be, haha. The DDC I joined when pregnant with my son is still going strong on facebook and I feel very close to the wonderful mamas on there.

I cloth diaper, sew, knit, cook from scratch, garden (when I can - we aren't settled and our current yard is small), babywear, natural birth. DH and I are anti-circ and don't vax, we don't hit, try not to yell or use punative punishments (DH is a bit less peaceful, but still good) and we cosleep with babies. DH will probably want our bed back around 8 months this time but baby can still sleep right by the bed. We are homeschooling 7 year old DSD (after trying to tough it out in two different schools, at her mom's whishes) and DS will be homeschooled without question.

My dream is to have a big piece of land and homestead with livestock, gardens, orchard and woodlot. I'd also love to build our own home out of cob or cordwood. I've lived in two school busses in the past and we are considering buying and moving into a bus or RV to save money soon.
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#42 of 57 Old 10-31-2014, 02:19 PM
 
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I don't know. I don't see myself as especially crunchy, but we do bed share, breastfeed, baby wear, cloth diaper and all that.
But I also drink coke and sometimes eat McDonald's
We grow a lot of veg and have chickens. I am fairly pro-vax.
I had a homebirth with DS2, that ended in transfer to hospital, then a UC with DS3. I don't really identify myself as a true UCer though, as I would have preferred to have a MW if it was possible here.
I like to think of myself as a gentle discipliner, but in reality I have an awful temper that often gets the better of me. I guess at least they know I will apologise for it if I was in the wrong. Something about 4 year old boys really pushes my buttons.
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#43 of 57 Old 11-02-2014, 07:27 AM
 
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I'm here because it was the best fit. I looked into other DDCs on other sites, but the stupid questions and panicking over the tiniest thing got to me. (seriously, someone asked in one I was looking into if you could get pregnant with twins if you had sex when you were already pregnant...)

Also my mom was a homeschooler non/selective-vax, cloth diaper, le leche league, homeophathy, etc type when I was growing up, and I remember her stash of Mothering magazines growing up, so it seems fitting that I'm here.

I'm probably also one of the more mainstream people, as that I will probably be going back to work after maternity leave is over (gotta love being married to a grad student and the stipend), and we probably don't eat as many whole foods as we should. But (not kidding here) my husband asked me about breastfeeding future children on our second date ( ), we'll be babywearing, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering, and I'll probably go the route of delayed/selective vax. We're still trying to decide on homeschooling our littles eventually, but part of that will depend on if we end up staying in the States or end up in Germany again.

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#44 of 57 Old 11-02-2014, 07:41 AM
 
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Justlizzy.. So while it's HIGHLY unlikely, it is possible to get pregnant with twins after you're already pregnant. My midwife here (who is an ex OB), had a patient once that got pregnant again every 4-6 weeks her whole pregnancy. She ended up with 7 fetuses of different gestational ages. Only the baby that made it to full term lived though. Really bizzare things can happen...!!
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#45 of 57 Old 11-02-2014, 04:44 PM
 
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I've been here since 2005. I found my way to crunchy and then to MDC. I haven't owned a crib since my firstborn was a few months old, and he never slept in it. I didn't have the support I needed to BF him, but I found my way to a CNM and another hospital for my second baby and breastfed children 2, 3, and 4 until they weaned. Child #4 was 3.5 years old. My midwife knows and supports the fact that she is the reason I went on to birth child 3 and 4 in water with a CPM. (I cried to her when I told her that was my plan, over the fact that she couldn't attend.) I'm going back to her and the hospital this time due to not being comfortable with any of my other options this time around. I hope to have support in having minimal people other than my CNM around when I birth this one. I will cry over the fact that I won't be allowed a water birth. I might just accidentally not get out of the tub. 3 kids are completely unvaxxed, one stopped at 6 months. I don't do eye goop or pretty much any of the other birth norms, no matter where I've birthed. I'm too lazy for anything but child-led weaning. Oh, and I've done cloth since I've had my own washer and dryer and have already bought fluff for this one.
Oh yeah, and I wear them. A lot.
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multigenerational living family!!
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#46 of 57 Old 11-02-2014, 05:34 PM
 
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I joined after researching hypnobabies (or hypnobirthing)while pregnant in 2005. I am more mainstream that most here, but we do homeschool, breastfeed, non-circ, baby wear, and part time cloth dipe. I love the support and real relationships I've developed in the DDCs I've been in. I AM more natural and crunchy than I would have been had I not been a part of this forum.

Mom to  DS (8), DD (6), DS (4), DS (1),and baby#5 05/2015
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#47 of 57 Old 11-02-2014, 07:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Abraisme View Post
Justlizzy.. So while it's HIGHLY unlikely, it is possible to get pregnant with twins after you're already pregnant. My midwife here (who is an ex OB), had a patient once that got pregnant again every 4-6 weeks her whole pregnancy. She ended up with 7 fetuses of different gestational ages. Only the baby that made it to full term lived though. Really bizzare things can happen...!!
Oy, that poor woman! I wonder what caused her to continue to ovulate while pregnant? :-/

This is also just more proof of something the land manager from my first internship in college said "don't ever say something can't happen in nature, because the moment you do, nature will disprove your theory."
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#48 of 57 Old 11-03-2014, 08:04 AM
 
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I'm probably not very crunchy - frankly. We do cosleep, cloth diaper, baby wear (though my 2 year old refuses to go in any carrier or even stroller), breastfeed until they self-wean, no circ, etc. But I also send my 5 year old to public school, selectively vaccinate, etc. We're a vegan family, but when the kids go to parties we let them make the choice to eat cake (heck, I eat cake!!), though we're raising them to be very progressive and open.

In the years I've been on MDC I've made amazing, amazing friends. Everyone is so, so different - and I really appreciate that diversity.
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#49 of 57 Old 11-03-2014, 08:26 AM
 
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I joined with #2 after hearing about the ddc clubs here. We were going for a VBAC and are very naturally minded. Hubby tried to convince me with #1 to homebirth but I was too scared at the time. This will be our 3rd homebirth and my 4th VBAC. We co-sleep, baby wear, breastfeed, no circ, no vax, homebirth, homeschool, and try to homestead on a small scale but are working toward being self sufficient.

Editied to add: I have heard of some ddc on other sites and I just can't handle the drama I have heard about with other sites. MDC seems to not have much drama in the ddclubs.

Angie wife to Joe and Mom to Lucas(10) and Alex (7), Elizabeth (4), Joey (2), and #5 due May 29
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#50 of 57 Old 12-16-2014, 01:18 AM
 
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Edit to add, I just found out about the magazine mothering, I had no idea. That explains a lot. Two years and I just figured out that bit, silly me!

I joined because I was looking for VBAC resources and this site was the first community besides facebook to show up in a search, on the third page of google of all things. I stay because its still better than facebook The drama, oh man its like all the adults are here and the teenagers have taken over posting on thier mother's facebook pages. Its also a bit slower website, and I like that. Technology can move too fast these days. I like that I can message someone, and not be scolded for taking too long to reply if I don't check in every day (coughfacebookiscrazycough).

Whats weird about me is that I like the quiet nooks in libraries, the biography shelves, the warm cup of tea with no extra anything stuff, the last box in the garage sale, the deepest reaches of the goodwill bin. Its all my thing. I love trying to save up to try the latest trendy whateversit, (used, discounted, clearance) fancy fun different things but I have no problem whatsoever reselling them to get most of my money back so I can try the next trendy mahosest. My whole family is like that and we swap mahoests all the time. Usually I am left to destash everyones everything and explain to craigslisters that, yes, I have five sets of used tires, how many did they want? I used to be into gardening, sewing, embroidry, bargain hunting, art, couponing, reading, baking (wedding cakes!)... and more.

Right now I am into a pile of laundry getting done, keeping the kitchen somewhat sanitary, and keeping three children from mangling each other all day. Did actually paint mirrors for Christmas gifts recently so that was exciting. I'm very religious, pro circ, not exceptionally crunchy (cloth diapers! wahooo! mcdonalds date night! wahoo!), have been all over on vax currently no-vax. Have also been all over on birth, with a cesarean, an unassistend VBAC at home, and a birth center birth (my vote for next time, not that I get to totally pick, but, birth center, all the way!).

I'm probably not as crunchy as the average person here. And definitely a shy person in real life (the in laws would LOVE to convert me out of that). But I love learning from more experienced mama s.

...And I like to talk alot. Can you tell?
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#51 of 57 Old 12-22-2014, 02:35 PM
 
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What a fabulous crew! I haven't been on MDC for a long time; the last DDC moved to FB and I haven't really needed any more support than they've been able to give me. But it's fun to be back, and to recognize some folks- itstybitsyspider, eirual, and I think montessorimama1...

I joined MDC when all I knew about mothering was that I wanted to do it. I think that being part of this community, if only as a reader, really shaped my early parenting days (for the better!) and gave me a sense of connectedness that I really needed during a period of not a lot of real-life community.

Our first child had multiple food allergies and was diagnosed as failure to thrive, and without MDC I would have lost my mind. Or maybe, lost my mind more.

We love EC, and I'm happy to serve as a resource here for questions along those lines. I ended up nursing him til 4.5, partly for those health reasons, and partly because neither of us wanted to quit. I was tandem nursing the last 2 years of that time. We vax, but don't circ, and eat whole foods without following any named dietary pathway.

But ultimately I think I belong here for the same reason most of you do... because we clearly don't belong anywhere else!
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#52 of 57 Old 12-23-2014, 06:24 PM
 
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Understanding and supportive mothers

I love the mothering.com forums because non mainstream views are peacefully supported.

I had a planned home birth with my first that ended up as an unplanned c section due to eclampsia. Second birth was a healing vac waterbirth with an OB, Husband and a few doulas, of course.

No vaccinations. Plan on homeschooling. Nurse my children 2+ yrs and wean only when I'm pregnant. I love nursing!

I'm seeing an OB now but take a very hands off/low technology approach to pregnancy. I pee in a cup and let him find a heartbeat. Plan of squatting this baby out (vbac) at the local hospital. No one is going to force me to give birth lying on my back! I'm getting very used to saying no. Love doing my research and following my intuition.

I passionately fight for boys to keep their genitals intact. Husband lost his foreskin due to RIC, and see the pain firsthand. I'm from a conservative Catholic family, and I didn't realize that people circ for "medical" reasons or non-religious reasons. My entire family, grandparents, dozens of uncles 50+ cousins are intact and we live in the Midwest. Never would've guessed that wasn't the norm in the 1940s--1980s.

(Sorry. I got in a tangent.)

Baby wearing and cosleeping for my high needs (eldest) child.

Try to seek truth and make decisions that I feel are in my family's best interest.

I love mothering because nothing shocks anyone and love and excitement thrive here.
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#53 of 57 Old 02-20-2015, 07:02 AM
 
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wow! so many awesome moms! I have to ask, is there an independent community with moms like you gals? It seems that we are all so spread out and all i want is a wonderful community to grow with, for me and my kids. My heart aches and craves a place that i can call home....
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Be Good Family =)
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#54 of 57 Old 02-21-2015, 04:00 PM
 
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We are trying to start one in Brazil.. But that might not be helpful.
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#55 of 57 Old 02-22-2015, 02:02 PM
 
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Location is not important. I dont care where i am, home to me is where my family is and where i can live the life i want.

Be Good Family =)
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#56 of 57 Old 02-23-2015, 05:04 AM
 
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Send me a pm and we can connect outside of Mothering.
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#57 of 57 Old 10-20-2016, 06:11 PM
 
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Wow! Great thread! Kinda sorry to see it die off. I'm here because I'm going for another UP/UC for this 8th pregnancy (7th living child). I just want to make sure I research as it was 3 years since my last one. Learning how to get a birth certificate in my new county, resurrecting my old Brewer's Diet chart I made, etc. All the fun stuff that comes with carrying a little one to full term!
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