Join Date: May 2007
Location: Pacific Northwest
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
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Birth Center or Home Birth? Can't Decide!
I made an appointment in a few weeks at the birth center where I've had my three children. If I end up going there, I will probably have the same midwife who has helped at all three births. There's nothing wrong with her, and she has tons of experience, but I never felt super-connected to her, and I sometimes felt like she was a little too brusque/"businesslike," and not really as empathetic or "motherly/sisterly" as I would have liked (if that makes any sense). They automatically put you with the midwife you've had before, unless you specifically request differently, and it would be super awkward at this point to ask for someone else, after we've had that same midwife at the births of all of our children so far.
There was another midwife who was at my second and third births (they work in teams of 3 at the birth center), whom I really, really love and feel connected with. She is very kind, gentle, and sensitive. She just has this aura of love and warmth about her. She has her own midwifery practice now, and only does homebirths.
Well, I love the environment of the birth center! They have all the right equipment, it's beautifully decorated, it's peaceful, and they really pamper you after the birth (bring you takeout from any restaurant in town, have after-birth doulas take care of you, etc.).
A homebirth is a possibility, but it's not really my first choice, as 5 people already live in my urban, 950-sq-ft, 1-bathroom house. The only place to set up a birth tub would be in the carpeted living room. The only way I can see a homebirth working is if we paid for a hotel room for my mom for a couple of days, and she could hang out there with our kids. I just feel like having 2-3 midwives + my husband + myself + our three kids in our tiny house for a homebirth would be too chaotic. I love my mom, but I have some "body issues" due to things she's said to me over the years, so I would not be comfortable with her seeing me naked. So I don't really want her present during the birth.
Also, I feel like I would be uptight about the house being perfectly clean and preparing tasty and adequate food for the midwives to eat while I'm in labor. I don't know if that would be too stressful to think about all of those details.
But I really love the "nice" midwife who only does homebirths!
What should I do, what should I do? Anybody have thoughts/experience? If you've had a homebirth before, were you stressed out about getting your home just right for the midwives? I'm sort of an anxious, uptight person, and I loved not having to worry about that kind of thing at the birth center!
Happily married for 11 years. 9 year old son, 7 year old daughter, 5 year old daughter, and baby daughter.