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djs_girl517 09-28-2004 05:48 PM

I've noticed the last few weeks that a lot of the familiar 'faces' are missing from The One Thread. I finally ventured outside my little hole and realized that most of them had moved to 30+ and TTC 12+ mos. While I miss them terribly, I understand why they felt the need to move. I would love to join them, but I am only 26 and have only been TTCing for 6 mos. At the same time, I would love to talk to people in their mid-late 20s who have been trying more than a week or two . I'm just curious to see how it would shake out if we divided into groups more according to where we are in this process.

I want to emphasize that this wouldn't mean we couldn't all thread-hop, but I know a lot of people have difficulty keeping up with The One Thread, and maybe this would make it easier for everyone to keep up the people they have the most in common with.

I hope this makes sense. Let me know what you think in a post, and specify where you are in the journey if you like.

Max's Mami 09-28-2004 06:44 PM

I am 28 and this is our first month ttc -- well I have *sort of* been trying for 3 months but the first two months were during the baseball season when DH was on the road. I thought I timed our visits pretty well but things like longer cycles than normal and baseball trades screwed with my plans. So this was the first month the DH and I were actually in bed together when I Oed.

We have one 22 month old son together.

orangebird 09-28-2004 08:58 PM

DH and I are 30-35, this is my first cycle off my BCPs, I have one DS (11) from a prior marraige, who lives with us, and we have one DS (2) together.

Amberlyn 09-28-2004 09:14 PM

Mine is all pretty much in my sig line.. but I am 27, DH is 24, DD is 6 (from previous marriage) and DSS is 4 (from Dhs first marriage)... We have been TTC since about March. I have been off the Depo shot since last Aug I think it was... so hard to remember.

babycarrier 09-28-2004 10:52 PM

I really like your idea about different threads. I do read both of the threads now but don't really feel like I fit in either. I'm 30, Dh is 39. We have one son together who is coming up on 2. We've endured a m/c this year and are now....somewhere on this path.
Would love to hear other's opinions on multiple threads.

Meli65 09-28-2004 10:59 PM

It is an interesting idea -- the One Thread is kind of unwieldy. I wouldn't want to get TOO segmented though -- it was fun to run into another real-life friend there and we wouldn't have otherwise since she is 25 and I am 39.
I guess I want both but don't know how to do it.

djs_girl517 09-28-2004 11:05 PM

I think we could still thread-hop, like I said, but that's just my idea. I know another site FF has a twenty-something area, one for thirty-somethings, etc.

My other thought was that we could split by length of time TTC. I would say we could split by one or the other. The kid part was just my curiousity cause it left me have 15 choices

Maybe I should do another poll about whether people would like to split by age, time TTC, or not at all?

Don't know. Please share your thoughts.

Mizelenius 09-28-2004 11:48 PM

I still want to participate in a thread even though I am PG. I don't know where, though, or if it's appropriate. Reason being . . .the TTC journey will always be a significant part of my life. I feel beyond grateful that we were able to conceive, and I just want to support everyone on their journey, esp. when the journey is long. I don't feel justified in feeling this way, because (thanks to modern medicine) our journey was not long . . .but it will always be a part of me.

Believe it or not, when I see pregnant women, I feel sad. Not for them, of course, but because it should just BE that way for any woman who wants to be. I can't go posting that kind of thing on a due date board, nor do I want to sit around complaining about any aspect of being pregnant on the due date board. Nor do I want to read about "oops" babies. For some reason even the little PG icons get me feeling sad, too. Again, not for the PG people, but because it's such an emotional issue.

But, again, I do not want to intrude. So, if it's not appropriate for me to post, I will quietly lurk!!!

djs_girl517 09-29-2004 12:06 AM

Elena - I for one do not think you are intruding. We like when the graduates pop back in.

kyle98sean02 09-29-2004 12:31 AM

I rally like he one thread. I wouldnt mind other seperate threads too, but I like that there is one where everyone fits in and feels comfy.

BeeandOwlsMum 09-29-2004 12:58 AM

29 Attachment(s)
Old timer here...out of the 26 people that have answered so far, I am the only one who has been trying for more than two years....

no kids.

Still trying...
just turned 30.

A lot of us did move over to the 30+ thread...because we needed a group of folks who are at the same place.

djs_girl517 09-29-2004 01:08 AM


allgirls 09-29-2004 01:25 AM

Well I am 38 ttc # 4 and have 2 older daughters from aprevious marriage and one dd with my current hubby almost 39...We really really want one more and I am not getting any younger...we have been trying for 3 mos...our biggest challenge other than age...he's gone all week...also I am nursing our almost 15 mos old

I have no idea where I would fit...I like the one thread and nursing mama's

mom2jack 09-29-2004 01:39 AM

I just turned 30, have one ds (2), and have just started TTC #2.

MamanFrancaise 09-29-2004 01:49 AM

I'm 23, have one 3 year old DD and have been trying for #2 for 6 months.

BinahYeteirah 09-29-2004 02:08 AM

Itkwym abut the One Thread. I had been lurking for several months, then started posting more regularly after my m/c. It was right about that time that the 30+ thread was created, and all the familiar faces left the One Thread. I support that the women there needed that place for themselves.

I am 25 and I have been ttc for 7 months (and waiting for ppaf for MUCH MUCH longer ). I have one dd, who is 26 months old.

It seems like a majority of people answered similarly.

BinahYeteirah 09-29-2004 02:17 AM

Is there anyone under 30 here who has been ttc for over one year?

I was hoping that there wasn't anyone feeling left out of the 30+ thread on account of age. The ladies there are welcoming and I think that some not-quite-30 people were posting there, but I was just wondering if there is a need for an under 30 & over 1 year TTC thread. I'm not needing it myself (and hope I don't in the future : ).

Happypants 09-29-2004 02:25 AM

i'm 24, dh is 25. this is month 4 and i'm waiting to know. we don't have any kids yet. i rarely participate in the one thread, b/c it's too big and i can't keep up. it seems kinda impersonal to me. before we were ready to ttc, i lurked here a lot and couldn't wait to join the waiting to o/waiting to know threads, but now i'm not so into it. i like the idea of smaller threads, broken down in one way or another.

Laurel 09-29-2004 02:34 AM

I"m 34 and have been dealing with infertility for 9 years. But I haven't been ttc that whole time. I ttc'd for about 5 years and then have been ttc again for about 1 1/2 years.

I am not under 30 right now, but I did ttc for 5 years before I turned 30.

There wasn't a category for my child situation. I have a child but he joined our family through adoption, so I have never been pregnant.

With where I"m at in the journey, I'm not sure that threads like either the One Thread or the 30+ thread really meet my needs. I have joined both of them at points and still lurk and occasionally post on the 30+ thread, but I'm at a point where I can't handle the constant thinking about it and the obsessing. So I read posts but can't get too emotionally involved if that makes sense. I am currently ttc and experiencing a range of emotions about it, but handle it much differently than I did before. For me, it has worked better to simply post a thread about my particular issue or question--or to respond to someone else's post when I have something specific to offer.

I guess to me the length of time ttc is a better division than age.

alexisyael 09-29-2004 03:56 AM

I have been thinking about posting a poll like this I was curious, too!

I also think the ideas floating around about new ways to deal with the threads are good. Personally, I like the idea of dividing it based on length of time one has been TTCing. As a long-timer (almost a year for me) it is way too hard for me to be on the One Thread and see women come in and quickly leave, pregnant on their first or second try. I LOVE that they got pregnant, but it makes me too sad, b/c I am not pregnant.

I feel very welcome on the 30+ thread, even tho I do not technically fit either of it's categories (I am 29 and have been trying for just under a year).

Actually, tho, I am at the place Laurel was talking about. I'm not wanting to obsess these days about my cycle, or TTC. I still have emotional issues, and I want to continue supporting when I feel capable of doing so, but I don't really care where I am in my cycle (not that I don't care, just that I don't want to overly care, you know?)

I have been wanting to resurrect the "Surrender thread" -- a place for us to talk about the spiritual/ emotional aspects of surrendering to this process, of trying to remain calm and happy despite not being pregnant. Is anyone else interested in that kind of thread????

Belly Blessings to you all!

dani76 09-29-2004 04:19 AM

ITA Alexis. I am 28 and ttc for 16 months with one ectopic. What I like about the 30+ thread is that we talk about our feelings and other things besides our cm. I can post everyday or once a week and it doesn't matter. The group pretty much stays the same. But I'm definitely more of a small group person.

I think a surrender thread might be a good idea. A place where we can discuss our lives while ttc.

alexisyael 09-29-2004 04:40 AM

Dani, I I'm resurrecting the Surrender Thread

Laurel 09-29-2004 11:49 AM

Alexis, thanks! The "surrender" thread is more in line with what I need too. I also think I"ll bump up my "ttc'ing after infertility the 2nd time around" thread because that was addressing issues I am dealing with too. I think that one was in the infertility forum.

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