Random ramblings about Aunt Flo - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 2 Old 07-17-2007, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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When I was 12 and she first visited, I was excited. I called my mom, my aunt, my best friend. I felt like I was part of an exclusive club. It was empowering.

When I was 16 and she came calling I was relieved. I'd been spared another month. My boyfriend could exhale, and so could I. One less thing to tell my mother. Aunt Flo was my friend.

When I was 17 and finally got a very reliable form of birth control, AF was an annoyance. I cursed the day that she arrived and lay curled up in a ball of crampy misery for days on end. I threw mini parties when she departed.

Now yesterday she came around and I felt..sad. I didn't realize how bad it could make me feel that the only reliable part of my life came as scheduled. I didn't realize how desperately I wanted her gone, how I'd been on my 2ww. I didn't even know that I was trying, just floating along on a "que sera, sera" feeling...until now. I don't want to see her for a while. I still want the rounded belly, the tender breasts, the remarkably feminine feeling. I just don't want her. I want a baby.

I feel more than a little silly writing this. Here is the only place that I'd ever admit it, even though my visits here are more out of boredom and daydreaming than anything, I now know that I'm fantasizing about being...you guys. The hoping each month. The DDC's. Staying awake half the night. I want it all.

I still feel sad, but free now that I'm able to get it out. Thanks for listening.

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
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#2 of 2 Old 07-17-2007, 10:28 PM
 
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It's amazing how our relationship with our bodies changes when we are ttc. Areas of my body that I was previously quite indifferent to (such as my cervix) are now a focal point. My cervix probably wonders why I am suddenly so interested in establishing a relationship with her. I've ignored her for so long, and now suddenly my fingers and her have a standing spelunking date every morning.

My first AF was not met with excitment... I was 10 and I was mortified. I didn't even tell anyone I got my period for 2 full years. (Btw, I've still never told my mom this story because I think it would break her heart. We're much much closer than that story would imply.)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on your relationship with AF...

Mama and co-parent to our beautiful DS (08/08) and our mighty strong DD (04/10) . Life is good.
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