What do you think about surrogate motherhood - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 08-26-2018, 12:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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What do you think about surrogate motherhood

When individuals or couples can not naturally bear children, they have several other alternatives at the beginning of the family. Of course, although adoption is one option, many want to see the child through conception, pregnancy, birth and upbringing. For some, there is also the problem of having a real biological connection with this child.
Often these people choose the process of surrogate motherhood in order to achieve their goal of having a child. In this situation, a third person, called the surrogate mother, will carry the embryo throughout the pregnancy, rejecting the child to his prospective parents at birth.
Using a surrogate mother to give birth to children for couples who are unable to conceive for themselves is a process that is thousands of years old. This is proved in the writings of the Bible in the story of Abraham and his wife Sarah, who was barren.
Although the Bible does not specifically prohibit the very process of surrogate motherhood, it raises the question of whether it is moral and / or ethical, if it is considered moral, regarding the content of children conceived for love and born only of two persons who are married couple .
In addition to the numerous problems that surround the surrogate to help with the conception of the child and the birth, there is also an ethical and moral question that some groups have with those who actually act as a surrogate mother.
Some believe that the use of a surrogate mother to assist with the birth of a child is a privilege that is reserved only for the rich, since the cost can be prohibitive for the majority. However, there are many surrogate motherhood clinics that offer payment plans - and even reimbursements for unsuccessful pregnancy attempts - so the process can soon become much more popular.
Although, of course, moral issues are important for following and observing, it is difficult to judge anyone if they do not "pass a mile in the shoes of another person." In this case, many believe that infertility is a medical condition - and while someone does not actually face reality, when he can not have a child, it is difficult to understand how truly this situation is destructive.
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#2 of 17 Old 08-30-2018, 08:56 AM
 
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Hey dear, how are you doing? Thank you for sharing your views on surrogacy. You are indeed right in stating that the issue of moral and immoral is raised whenever this topic is broached. However, one must not judge each other for their views. People might turn to surrogacy if they truly want to and that's alright. If a process yields to a couple a child and thus, happiness, what's so wrong in it? In today's day and age, surrogacy is a process that provides to numerous couples. One should refrain from shying away from it. Have a nice day!
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#3 of 17 Old 10-16-2018, 12:22 PM
 
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I have great respect for them. It just shows how selfless they are. Being a surrogate is not an easy job. It has no breaks. I don't know how they do it. The woman who carried my child was so wonderful. She is a friend now. She even calls sometimes to see how the baby is doing.
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#4 of 17 Old 03-26-2019, 04:25 AM
 
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Hi, you raised a very interesting and controversial topic. But, I am very glad that in recent years people have become more advanced and have ceased to condemn surrogates for their work. After all, reproductive medicine is developing, and humanity does not stand still. Previously, the IVF procedure caused a lot of discussion and controversy. And at the moment, this is one of the most frequent ways to get pregnant. The same applies to the issue of surrogacy - this is one of the most effective options for having a child for couples who have completely lost hope. Earlier, many couples were decided on adoption because of the hopelessness. In truth, adoption is a noble cause, but only if the couple really loves the adopted baby and considers the child to be their own. After all, how many children were returned back to orphanages. These children have become even more unhappy and angrier at their own fate, which will definitely leave an imprint on their future. Therefore, if people understand that they cannot fully accept and love a child from an orphanage, they should think about surrogacy. Of course, this process will be more expensive. But, they will have the opportunity to have their own, genetic native baby. In this case, I advise you to contact the clinic, which are located abroad. Often, the prices there are much lower, and the service is quite high. But, first of all, it is worth getting acquainted with the legislation of a foreign country regarding this issue.
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#5 of 17 Old 05-28-2019, 01:26 AM
 
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Gestational surrogates. A technique called "in vitro fertilization" (IVF) now makes it possible to gather eggs from the mother, fertilize them with sperm from the father, and place the embryo into the uterus of a gestational surrogate. The surrogate then carries the baby until birth.
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#6 of 17 Old 05-30-2019, 04:04 AM
 
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thanks for sharing it
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#7 of 17 Old 06-03-2019, 05:29 AM
 
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A technique called In Vitro Fertilization" (IVF) now makes it possible to gather eggs from the mother, fertilize them with sperm from the father, and place the embryo into the uterus of a gestational surrogate.
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#8 of 17 Old 06-04-2019, 12:37 PM
 
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There seem to be three questions to consider.

The first is whether or not the woman carrying the baby is doing so completely voluntarily. It's important to consider if she has been coerced in any way. Coercion might include being pushed by dependence or poverty in to being a surrogate particularly when surrogacy is outsourced overseas to countries where women are still second class citizens. A husband may see surrogacy as an "easy" way for his wife to bring in extra money while still taking care of home and family. In other words, the decision to be a surrogate, must be freely chosen.

Once the question of full and enthusiastic agreement is resolved, the second question is how much the surrogate is paid and who, if anyone, is profiting off her work. Parents should investigate agency policy. They should take in to consideration how their payment is allocated and if their surrogate is being paid well and fairly. The actual surrogate should probably receive the lion's share of the money. Not the lawyers. Not the agency.

The idea that women should be paid well for their labor is a very new concept in the history of the world and all too often women are expected to do things out of the goodness of their hearts instead of receiving a paycheck. If we outsource surrogacy to another country to take advantage of the global economy, the surrogate should benefit from the disparity in wages between the two nations.

If a woman is acting as a surrogate as an act of love for a friend or family member that's a different story of course. Her choice. Her gift.

The third question is what insurance is provided for the surrogate and her family if her pregnancy proves life-threatening or injurious. How are they protected.

I'm not sure basing contemporary ethics on the Old Testament is relevant. The young woman described as a "surrogate" for Sarah and Abraham was given as a gift by Sarah to her husband. She is described in the bible as a concubine, in other words, she was a slave. The ethics of this seem quite clear.
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#9 of 17 Old 06-04-2019, 02:36 PM
 
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A book written in 1984 by Gena Corea, The Mother Machine, discusses many issues dealing with this issue. The man who wrote the CA surrogacy law stated that paying the surrogate was an afterthought, which I find confounding - I went to college with the guy. Why is women's work and time so devalued? Additionally, in CA, the surrogate is nowhere to be found on the birth certificate, so she is no one.

We do not know the long term consequences of in vitro fertilization, GIFT, or surrogacy, so all the information should be available so that this can be studied should any problems occur. Look at women who took DES 70+ years ago - their grandchildren and great-grandchildren are now being studied by a special office in HHS and few doctors even know about it.

My midwife told me 30 years ago that she believed that the baby is designed to go through the pelvis - that there is a genetic connection between the mother's birth canal, pelvis, and the baby's size. What happens if the surrogate's DNA does not allow for the size of the baby she is carrying? Is anyone studying this? I doubt it. I know there are remedies as caesarean section delivery, but what about the long term implications of these interventions? Yes, people suffer from infertility, but people can suffer for years and generations if we do not know what we are doing.

And if we are to learn anything from the Sarah/Abraham/Hagar story, it is that when Sarah had Isaac and saw the elder Ishmael teasing him, she told Abraham to send Hagar and Ishmael away. Yes, God intervened in the story and saved Hagar and Ishmael, but Sarah did not appreciate Hagar's efforts before.

(BTW, Sarah and Hagar are old friends if you read the whole story in Genesis. They were in a harem together before Ishmael's conception and birth. Sarah is supposedly Abraham's sister or half-sister. )
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List from the drug companies' own package inserts that come with their product as required by law.

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#10 of 17 Old 06-04-2019, 06:36 PM
 
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You got me - now I'll have to go back and read the story. I just remember some hemming and hawing when we asked in Sunday School what a concubine was.

You make many excellent points and went in directions I hadn't considered. After I responded to this post earlier today the key word surrogacy made an ad for a surrogate agency based in the United States pop up so I clicked on the link. I clicked on compensation and learned that prospective parents pay for a year's worth of insurance for their surrogate. If the surrogate dies her family receives (drum roll) $250,000. That's all. A mother dies, leaving her own child behind and her state gets a mere 250K. Pretty chintzy policy.

There was also a list out of payouts for a variety of unfortunate complications. The one that stuck out most to me was "loss of uterus." The payout for losing your uterus and probably ovaries was (drum roll) $3,000. Having lost my own uterus to cancer I know what that feels like and what it does to your body. 3K couldn't even begin to cover it.

I also read an article about surrogacy in India and how poorly paid the women are for the amount of risk and effort and how most who go down this road do so because they're desperate. Many are coerced.
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#11 of 17 Old 06-17-2019, 06:15 AM
 
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#12 of 17 Old 06-17-2019, 11:09 AM
 
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I'm seeing some excellent points raised in this thread.

I also wouldn't go about it without a lawyer. Some really dicey ethical and legal issues can arise from these arrangements. https://time.com/4168950/surrogacy-m...on-california/

Honestly, I don't think any parents-to-be have any business hiring a surrogate if they're inclined under any circumstances to demand or force an abortion. On the flipside, has a surrogate for any reason wanted out of the arrangement and insisted on getting an abortion? I'm not sure. But again, this could get really dicey quickly.
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#13 of 17 Old 06-17-2019, 03:54 PM
 
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20 years ago my DD was in college; there were ads all over campus for egg donors. What is probably not said to young egg donors is that superovulating their ovaries can result in infertility later in life.

Therefore the donors become candidates for IVF, GIFT, and other fertility technologies later in life when they decide to become mothers.

Informed consent is very necessary.
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"Vaccines are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get - acute hemorrhagic edema of infancy, allergies, anaphylaxis, asthma, autoimmune disease, diabetes, eczema, petit/gran mal seizures, fibromyalgia, Henoch-Schonlein purpua, Dravet's Syndrome, Retts Syndrome, Sweet's Syndrome, Hughes Syndrome, encephalitis, speech delay, tics, neurological damage, coma, ADEM, ADHD, AFP, ASIA, CFS, CRPS, GBS, ITP, JPA, JRA, LGS, LKS, MS, ORS, PANDAS, PANS, PINTANDS, POF, POTS, RA, SIDS, SJS, SLE, SPD, SUDS, TPI, the disease one is being vaccinated against, or death."

Paraphrased from "Forrest Gump".

List from the drug companies' own package inserts that come with their product as required by law.
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#14 of 17 Old 06-17-2019, 08:33 PM
 
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Of course this doesn't apply to ALL families considering this option. But I remember going to on of the UCs years ago and seeing an ad from a couple seeking a surrogate. It gave me the willies what they were demanding - thin, blonde, high-IQ, etc. The perfect, eugenically correct Aryan Designer Baby.
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#15 of 17 Old 06-17-2019, 10:00 PM
 
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Yes.

For sperm donation, I read recently that sperm samples from SoCal are preferred for anonymous sperm donations.

Hollywood types, I assume. Very sad. There was an article in Look magazine in 1969 that discussed this phenomenon, that people would choose their babies as in designer types if given the chance.

"Vaccines are like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get - acute hemorrhagic edema of infancy, allergies, anaphylaxis, asthma, autoimmune disease, diabetes, eczema, petit/gran mal seizures, fibromyalgia, Henoch-Schonlein purpua, Dravet's Syndrome, Retts Syndrome, Sweet's Syndrome, Hughes Syndrome, encephalitis, speech delay, tics, neurological damage, coma, ADEM, ADHD, AFP, ASIA, CFS, CRPS, GBS, ITP, JPA, JRA, LGS, LKS, MS, ORS, PANDAS, PANS, PINTANDS, POF, POTS, RA, SIDS, SJS, SLE, SPD, SUDS, TPI, the disease one is being vaccinated against, or death."

Paraphrased from "Forrest Gump".

List from the drug companies' own package inserts that come with their product as required by law.
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#16 of 17 Old 07-16-2020, 03:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Nikijane View Post
Hi, you raised a very interesting and controversial topic. But, I am very glad that in recent years people have become more advanced and have ceased to condemn surrogates for their work. After all, reproductive medicine is developing, and humanity does not stand still. Previously, the IVF procedure caused a lot of discussion and controversy. And at the moment, this is one of the most frequent ways to get pregnant. The same applies to the issue of surrogacy - this is one of the most effective options for having a child for couples who have completely lost hope. Earlier, many couples were decided on adoption because of the hopelessness. In truth, adoption is a noble cause, but only if the couple really loves the adopted baby and considers the child to be their own. After all, how many children were returned back to orphanages. These children have become even more unhappy and angrier at their own fate, which will definitely leave an imprint on their future. Therefore, if people understand that they cannot fully accept and love a child from an orphanage, they should think about surrogacy. Of course, this process will be more expensive. But, they will have the opportunity to have their own, genetic native baby. In this case, I advise you to contact the clinic, which are located abroad. Often, the prices there are much lower, and the service is quite high. But, first of all, it is worth getting acquainted with the legislation of a foreign country regarding this issue.
Yes, I totally agree . Surrogacy is giving as chance to have our own biological child . I have nothing against adoptions, having biological baby it’s a dream to any parents. I leave in London where surrogacy is allowed but you must not pay any money to surrogate. To be honest, I tried to go this route but was very complicated and long wait. I had hysterectomy and cancer, my ovarian reserve was limited I had to action fast. Actually, I am very proud that I found Professor Feskov In Ukraine that helped as to archive our dream. We flue over had many tests and check ups done before entering the program. We also did a genetic and PGD to make sure our child will be born healthy. Best decision ever. Just want to wish you all to follow your dream and don’t be afraid to go surrogacy route. I am over the moon that I got to be in the best hands of Professor Feskov and I now have a beautiful girl.
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#17 of 17 Old 07-23-2020, 05:43 AM
 
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Yes, I totally agree . Surrogacy is giving as chance to have our own biological child . I have nothing against adoptions, having biological baby it’s a dream to any parents. I leave in London where surrogacy is allowed but you must not pay any money to surrogate. To be honest, I tried to go this route but was very complicated and long wait. I had hysterectomy and cancer, my ovarian reserve was limited I had to action fast. Actually, I am very proud that I found Professor Feskov In Ukraine that helped as to archive our dream. We flue over had many tests and check ups done before entering the program. We also did a genetic and PGD to make sure our child will be born healthy. Best decision ever. Just want to wish you all to follow your dream and don’t be afraid to go surrogacy route. I am over the moon that I got to be in the best hands of Professor Feskov and I now have a beautiful girl.
Are you talking about this clinic? https://www.mother-surrogate.com/
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