Moms of toddlers and newborns - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 4 Old 09-07-2016, 07:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Moms of toddlers and newborns

Hi there my fellow mama bears..... I am new here and I hope to meet lots of moms. I tell you, I am feeling so overwhelmed and out of control of my own life right now... I am a work at home mom, my LG is 2 and a half years old and my son was born 6 weeks ago last Friday. I have had to start working again due to financial stress. My daughter goes to daycare during the day and my mother in law helps with my little man while I work until he is old enough to go to daycare. I work all day and then evening comes and I want to crawl into a hole and hide away. My husband is wonderful, he helps me as much as he can. However, he finishes work and we leave immediately to fetch the kids, we come home have dinner if its ready, then may daughter has her bath and hubby looks after baby while I get my daughter sorted. Then she is allowed to watch a little tv before bed time. She goes to sleep between 7 and 8, it depends on how stimulated she is from her day at school, I do my routine with her and then come through and get my little man finished up....... by the time im done with that its 9pm..... then somehow I need to bath, oh and notice that I haven't mentioned that I have eaten, i sort them all out first.... then by the time im done its too late and not hungry so I dont eat....... I am trying to gain some sort of control of my life getting used to having 2 kiddies in the house, and I know I will get there, especially once my son has a routine, but in the meantime, is there any advice that any of you can give me to help the transition a little easier? So that I don't feel so out of control of my life? Thank you in advance mamas, I appreciate any advice.

Oh and I forgot to mention that at the same time that all this is happening... we are trying to potty train my daughter.... lol sigh
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#2 of 4 Old 09-07-2016, 11:01 AM
 
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Oy, that's a lot going on,

My first inclination is to say stop the potty training and pick it up again in a few months. Your newborn will be SO much easier in a few months.

It sounds like you have a decent support system and are going through the normal hectic newborn stuff, so it should start to ease up a bit soon.

Can your husband put your daughter to bed or take on more of her bedtime routine so you can eat? Or could you try to eat in the car on the way home from work? It's still so early in your recovery. I'm sure you know you should be prioritizing your health and rest, but it is so hard.

I think the biggest hurdle is mental. It can feel like everything is running away from you, but remember how fast your newborn will change. With day care and supportive family to help, you will be able to get things under control again. It's not forever.

Hugs.
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#3 of 4 Old 09-07-2016, 02:19 PM
 
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I agree that stopping the toilet training would be a good idea.

You said "we" go and pick up the kids. Could one of you do that and the other make dinner? Then all eat together before DD1 goes to bed?

Other than that, and letting go of all but the essentials, there is probably not much you can change at the moment. Both your children are at a stage where they need intensive parenting and there isn't much you can do to change that except let time pass. I find that surrendering to these periods helps my mental health more than battling to do more it raging against the restrictions I feel.

I assume you and your husband have gone through the budget with a fine tooth comb and working full time is the only option.

If you're able to do some batch cooking or cook larger meals and freeze during the week that may help a bit in the evenings.

Are there opportunities for self-care during the day? Can you go for a walk or do some yoga in your lunch break? Or read a novel or knit or whatever makes you feel good.

Failing all of that, just keep repeating "this too shall pass"


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#4 of 4 Old 02-20-2017, 11:26 PM
 
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I know it can get a bit overwhelming especially having two kids in the house whose only a year plus change apart. Believe me, it gets a lot easier when your newborn is a bit older. In the meantime, hang in there. Don't stress out too much and let your husband help out on house chores. I know your husband is wonderful as what you mentioned but I think he still needs to be a little more hands on with the kids just to help you not so feel overwhelmed all the time.
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