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-   -   OMG! I was not so expecting this... (https://www.mothering.com/forum/19-i-m-pregnant/1230488-omg-i-not-so-expecting.html)

kblackstone444 06-02-2010 11:08 PM

I'M PREGNANT!!!

Here's the background...

I have a 15 year old son. He's from a previous relationship, his biofather hasn't been in the picture since he was 3.

I'm recently divorced. My ex was the only dad my son ever knew. We were married 5 years. Part of the reason why he left me was because I wanted more children, he did not. I left completely broke- mentally, physically, emotionally, financially.

I had a stepdaughter from that marriage. My son and I were very close to her. We still try to be a part of her life.

I started dating my boyfriend two months ago. I had been friends with him since last year. He's a good guy, my son absolutely adores him and he's really good with my son, but my heart's not quite in it yet- I suspect he may be a rebound.

I haven't been feeling well, so one of my coworkers gave me a pregnancy test. I've been told by my doctors for years now that it would be nearly impossible for me to get pregnant, plus, me and my boyfriend were very careful, so I took the test yesterday to humor her. IT WAS POSITIVE! ALL THREE TESTS!!! I'm estimating between 4 and 6 weeks.

There was a general reaction of "how could this happen?!". Without going into detail, even if I was at my fertile peak, which I certainly am not, there's no way this baby should have been able to be conceived. Plus, I'm living paycheck to paycheck, no extra money, me and my son crammed into a one and a half bedroom apartment, I have no money saved, crappy medical insurance, and my ex giving me alimony until I "move on". (Not to mention my ex and I are finally getting along enough so he's letting me see my stepdaughter sometimes.)

I absolutely CANNOT afford this baby. But giving it up or having an abortion are both not an option, never would be. I've wanted this baby for years and years. I've loved this baby for years and years. I've dreamt about this baby for years and years. This baby is mine, this baby I'm keeping. But the question is... HOW am I gonna do this?! Help, please! Suggestions, please! Prayers and good wishes, please! I need a gameplan, ASAP!

MaerynPearl 06-02-2010 11:22 PM

Well then theres one lesson that you must have forgotten since your son was born 15 years ago... cant and shouldnt are not words that babies care about

Ive got a 7 year old from using a condom (correctly) a 5 year old from using birth control pills (correctly) and one on the way that we tried for 7 cycles out of 2 years to conceive and when we finally decided we shouldnt try... voila I got pregnant! granted... we didnt try NOT to conceive but after 6 previous cycles of no luck we figured we would be fine lol.

All I can say is... as much as I HATED getting on it... Medicaid, WIC and foodstamps have saved our lives. Multiple times.

2sweetboysmom 06-02-2010 11:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaerynPearl View Post
Well then theres one lesson that you must have forgotten since your son was born 15 years ago... cant and shouldnt are not words that babies care about
...snip...
All I can say is... as much as I HATED getting on it... Medicaid, WIC and foodstamps have saved our lives. Multiple times.
Absolutly.
Congratulations
Hugs and prayers for you. Now deep breath and dive in!

kblackstone444 06-02-2010 11:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaerynPearl View Post
All I can say is... as much as I HATED getting on it... Medicaid, WIC and foodstamps have saved our lives. Multiple times.
I'm in a different town, different state, than when I had my first. I've never lived alone here, I don't even know where to get public assistance. (Guess I better find out soon, huh?!) I am so over my head! (And at the same time, I'm doing the happy dance. Go figure. )

HaikuMommy 06-02-2010 11:52 PM

I can really relate! My first daughter was 20 years old (yes, 20 YEARS old!) when I unexpectedly got pregnant with my now 22mo dd. I was NOT expecting to have any more babies, and was on the pill (mini pill, and didn't take it at the same time each day...oops). I was so shocked when I turned up pregnant! Hubby was boyfriend at the time. We got married at the courthouse within a couple weeks of finding out. Now we are having baby #2, this one planned. (And crazy hubby wants another one after this, but I'm turning 40 this year! Kinda over being pregnant back to back.)

When I first found out I was pregnant with my 22 mo, I blurted out to a complete stranger that I was pregnant, as sort of a trial run before telling my boyfriend. He was just some guy at the drugstore where I had run into the bathroom to use the test I'd just bought. This random guy told me, "This baby is a blessing. It will keep you young. It's meant to be. Congratulations!" And he was right!

Congrats, mama!

MaerynPearl 06-02-2010 11:55 PM

You will be fine, you are a strong woman! After all you would have to be strong to raise a teenager!

Kidzaplenty 06-03-2010 03:10 AM

Congratulations! Timing is not always perfect, but a new baby is such a beautiful thing.

bjorker 06-03-2010 05:56 PM

You'll figure it out, I promise! I was in a very similar situation with my dd (except she was my 1st & i was only 20 years old at the time). I worked a crappy retail job with no savings, lived in a small bedroom in a house with a bunch of roommates, had pretty much *just* gotten back together with my DP (we're still going strong, btw). He also had no savings and lacked a 'real' job. I was on medicaid for awhile and we lived in a crappy place for awhile, but now we rent a decent house and are expecting #2 over six years later. Life is pretty good, most of the time. So hang in there, use all your resources, accept whatever help you are given, and love that little baby!
Congratulations!
Posted via Mobile Device

aslyn 06-03-2010 06:45 PM

check in with birthright.org

They will help you get community resource refferals, and maternity/baby clothes and support you through everything. I worked with them many years ago with my first..they are wonderful volunteers who go above and beyond the call of duty for pregnant women!

Baby~Braatens~Mama 06-03-2010 07:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kblackstone444 View Post
I'm in a different town, different state, than when I had my first. I've never lived alone here, I don't even know where to get public assistance. (Guess I better find out soon, huh?!) I am so over my head! (And at the same time, I'm doing the happy dance. Go figure. )
Life is a strange path! I'm so excited for you! Hope you keep updating and congratulations!

wife&mommy 06-03-2010 07:38 PM

Well congrats! Since you say it is almost impossible for the baby to be here given the circumstance, is it possible you are further along than you think? Would that help to explain it, or is it just one of those meant to be babies? I have one of those!!

darkblue0729 06-03-2010 08:33 PM

Congrats! and mama!

When we first conceived DD1, I had been assured that I could never get pregnant, was recovering from a serious spinal injury, and did not have insurance and could not work at the time...I wasn't single, but it was really scary! I'm not sure where in NY you live, but I live in NY as well and would be happy to send you some baby things (either hand off if you are close by or mail them-you can PM me), I know that there are many counties that have very nice and helpful social services and EOC offices to get things like food stamps, WIC, PCAP, etc.; all in all I really commend your strength and hope that many, many blessings follow you and this pregnancy! If there is anything I can do please PM me and let me know!

spruce 06-03-2010 09:44 PM

Congratulations on this SO WANTED baby!

I've been through tough times as a single mother (before I married DP), to include living in a "dry" (no running water) cabin, running a daycare, working as a FF only on weekends so a friend could take my kids, etc. I've been through taking babies to college with me and reverse-cycle nursing. It's doable, you'll find a way.

WIC is different now than it was even 6 years ago, from what I hear. They help up here with vouchers for the Farmer's Market in summer, and I understand they help buy fruit or veggies year-round. Medicaid is there as a backup for those things that need seeing to...and I think we all agree that a new baby is a thing that needs seeing to!

Give yourself a big hug, put your feet up for a few minutes, and have fun with this pregnancy!

love, p

momtoS 06-04-2010 02:09 AM

Wow. HUGS to you! I have also had a surprise...but not as big as what you are dealing with. My mind is spinning with a positive test this week too....

kblackstone444 06-04-2010 09:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by wife&mommy View Post
Well congrats! Since you say it is almost impossible for the baby to be here given the circumstance, is it possible you are further along than you think? Would that help to explain it, or is it just one of those meant to be babies? I have one of those!!
I mean impossible baby, as in, we were more than careful, and I'm not supposed to be able to conceive that easy anyways- we were only having sex for 2-3 weeks before I conceived! I think she's just meant to be... :-)

kblackstone444 04-03-2014 09:58 PM

.

Smokering 04-05-2014 09:43 PM

Congratulations! I'm afraid I don't know anything about resources, living on the other side of the world... but I know there are lots of good people out there who get excited about babies and will want to help you out. :) Church groups, 'mummy' groups, friends and family... put out a message on Freecycle and I bet you can scrounge up tons of clothes and baby gear and maternity clothes. 



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