How long did you wait/do you plan to wait to tell people you're pregnant? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't decide how long I should wait to tell people. Last time I told people right away, but I don't feel like that's what I want to do this time.

What are other people's thoughts?
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#2 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:22 PM
 
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I told the people I'm close with right away (I couldn't wait!), but I waited until it was obvious (bulging belly) to tell my co-workers. I think most people wait until the second trimester, when you're more sure that the pregnancy has "stuck."
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#3 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:33 PM
 
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My rule of thumb is... I tell people right away if they are the same people I would also go to for support in the event of a miscarriage. I am very private in my grief, and I don't want to talk about things like miscarriage with everyone on the planet. Everyone else gets to share my happy secret once I've hit the second trimester and/or heard the heartbeat on doppler.
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#4 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:33 PM
 
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I told close family right away -- first pregnancy and I couldn't wait. Everyone else got the news around the 2nd trimester.

Rebecca, mom to Annie (11/07/2008)
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#5 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:41 PM
 
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I waited until after I had my first gyneacologist appointment at around 12 weeks (I think it was 13 weeks).

No one knew before then (except my boyfriend). I didn't even tell my parents before that.

Now I think I could and maybe should have told my mom earlier (it was also really hard to keep it a secret, plus I felt really sick and tired all the time and it was hard to act "normal" around my parents, as they know me so well they'd notice immediately something was up if I acted differently), but I was sort of scared it would be bad luck to tell anyone before the first trimester was finished pretty silly.

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#6 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:48 PM
 
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I told dh right away. I ended up telling a few people I wouldn't normally have told because they started making plans for autumn and I needed to let them know I wasn't going to be as available as I had been previously! I also told my parents pretty quickly.

I waited a few more weeks to tell dd. Ds we've not really sat down and told, just eased him into the idea gradually. We told MIL and one SIL on Mother's Day, so about 13 weeks? Dh told his other sister yesterday and she told FIL/step-MIL. (Which was fine, there are Issues there, it's fine that they know, but we weren't going to call and pretend there weren't Issues.) So pretty much everyone knows now... it's pretty obvious from looking now too! I did have to tell my high school reunion attendees because even at 10 weeks I looked pg. No hiding it.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#7 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pantufla View Post
My rule of thumb is... I tell people right away if they are the same people I would also go to for support in the event of a miscarriage. I am very private in my grief, and I don't want to talk about things like miscarriage with everyone on the planet. Everyone else gets to share my happy secret once I've hit the second trimester and/or heard the heartbeat on doppler.
Exactly me as well. With DD1, DH and I didn't say anything to anyone until 14 weeks. Some of my friends and family knew right away with DD2, I told everyone else at the end of the first tri.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#8 of 9 Old 05-29-2008, 11:54 PM
 
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I of course told my husband immediatly. Whenever I think I may be he's the first to know and waits with me while I take the tests and everything.

I told all my friends immediatly.

But we're not telling family until I'm 14-15 weeks along. I miscarried in March, and we didn't tell family then, and I wouldn't want to have the whole family knowing. I know it sounds weird, but yeah.

We told everyone we're not related to already, lol!

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#9 of 9 Old 05-30-2008, 03:31 AM
 
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Our original plan was to wait until 2nd tri because I miscarried last August. But I got so sick that more and more people just kept finding out so then we knew we had to tell family before they found out through the grapevine. Plus it was hard to explain ER trips, home IV care and stuff...
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