Are single mothers least likely to be hired? - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 5 Old 07-11-2015, 03:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Question Are single mothers least likely to be hired?

I have heard this from documentaries. I've been told this at employment agencies. The reasons I've heard is that single mothers are more likely to miss work frequently due to ricocheting illnesses, lack of child care, other family emergencies.


My mom, on the other hand, told me that single mothers are more likely to be hired because they need a job the most.


My experiences in job searching has been explaining long periods of not being employed and spotty employment. I've been given weird, uneasy looks from employers when they find out I'm a parent. But I have been accepted jobs, before. While having a job, I've been asked why can't Dawn's dad take her to Dr. appointments, is Dawn old enough to stay home by herself in the evenings just so they can move me from a day shift to an evening shift. I've had to bring her to work with me a few times. Wait for her dad to pick her up, etc, etc.
It's really hard for me to believe my mom is right. But at the same time, I do a lot and sacrifice a bit to keep a job. One employer was trying to pressure me into making my daughter skip a swimming lesson because no one else wanted to show up for work.
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#2 of 5 Old 07-12-2015, 07:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Dawn's mom View Post
I have heard this from documentaries. I've been told this at employment agencies. The reasons I've heard is that single mothers are more likely to miss work frequently due to ricocheting illnesses, lack of child care, other family emergencies.


My mom, on the other hand, told me that single mothers are more likely to be hired because they need a job the most.


My experiences in job searching has been explaining long periods of not being employed and spotty employment. I've been given weird, uneasy looks from employers when they find out I'm a parent. But I have been accepted jobs, before. While having a job, I've been asked why can't Dawn's dad take her to Dr. appointments, is Dawn old enough to stay home by herself in the evenings just so they can move me from a day shift to an evening shift. I've had to bring her to work with me a few times. Wait for her dad to pick her up, etc, etc.
It's really hard for me to believe my mom is right. But at the same time, I do a lot and sacrifice a bit to keep a job. One employer was trying to pressure me into making my daughter skip a swimming lesson because no one else wanted to show up for work.
I don't believe it is true that employers are less likely to hire single moms, however I have been asked in interviews what my plans are for my children while I work. My standard reply is I have daycare and some help from my mother and their father. It generally stops there, what else can they say? I have not had trouble finding employment when I was looking and I have had decent above min. wage jobs. I'm sure employers have concerns, and I will be honest I do not bring up my children unless asked directly in an interview.
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#3 of 5 Old 07-12-2015, 08:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't believe it is true that employers are less likely to hire single moms, however I have been asked in interviews what my plans are for my children while I work. My standard reply is I have daycare and some help from my mother and their father. It generally stops there, what else can they say? I have not had trouble finding employment when I was looking and I have had decent above min. wage jobs. I'm sure employers have concerns, and I will be honest I do not bring up my children unless asked directly in an interview.
That is interesting, then, that they would ask what your childcare plans are. How did that employer know you have kids? I was advised by a friend, too, not to bring up that I have kids.
There was a time when my mom was looking for a new job. She kept my daughter's car seat in her car. One employer walked my mom out to her car and asked, "How old is your child?". My mom told her it was her granddaughter's. My mom said that the employer seemed relieved by that. It's really hard to keep my mother status mum because I'm asked about long periods where I'm not working. I would think taking care of a child sounds better than being in jail. But the looks I get. I think it's because of how young I look for my age. Perhaps they think I was on welfare all that time. So, then I have to explain that my bf was working and I didn't need to work and that I was waiting for childcare. I don't think anything can sound good to an employer. I think I'm just psyching myself out. I've learned a few years ago not to trust the federal employment agencies. When you go in there, it's gloomy, dark or just stale lighting, the workers seem depressed and overly serious. They will make your resume look as boring and uninspiring as possible. They will lecture you. If you talk to an advisor they ask you what you really want to pursue they will reply to answer as being unrealistic. I would love to be a graphic artist if I and when I can find the funds and time to go back to college. "Well, that's not very realistic. There's no work in that." I saw several ads for graphic artists in the want ads. If I had the qualifications I would be all over them, I told her. She goes, "Oh, really? I didn't know that." Those ads were on the same site they run. The other time I went and saw an advisor, I was disgusted. Super filthy and dusty cubicle with coffee stains everywhere. A mess. Whatever optimism I had left in me disappeared as I sat there listening to his monotone voice tell me the only thing I am qualified for is some dead end minimum wage job. And then I went back to school and got my high school diploma. Take that government.
There was a documentary that really highlights the perils of motherhood and employment by Doc Zone: http://www.cbc.ca/doczone/episodes/motherload It's a rather interesting documentary, anyways, whenever you get the chance to watch it. It's about an hour long.
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#4 of 5 Old 07-12-2015, 08:41 PM
 
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Thanks and I will watch that when I get the chance. That particular employer asked me about kids when I asked about benefits, such as insurance. When you're asking about the family plan, dead give away you have kids I had gotten through most of the interview without mentioning children though. I did get the job however It's tough being a single mom and working. I have my mom to help for after school care everyday and 2 days a week she is home and helps if kids are sick, snow days or whatever comes up. But the other 3 days I am on my own and I admit I am worried about it and worried about making enough money to pay for the childcare that I will need during school vacations and summer time. Mostly I worry about summer because I have a couple kids to old for camp but I feel uncomfortable leaving them alone all day. And also paying for camp for the other 2 younger children. It makes me want to keep staying home or only working part time, but I can't do that forever and it would be nice to make an actual income aside from child support once I am done with school.
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#5 of 5 Old 07-12-2015, 09:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks and I will watch that when I get the chance. That particular employer asked me about kids when I asked about benefits, such as insurance. When you're asking about the family plan, dead give away you have kids I had gotten through most of the interview without mentioning children though. I did get the job however It's tough being a single mom and working. I have my mom to help for after school care everyday and 2 days a week she is home and helps if kids are sick, snow days or whatever comes up. But the other 3 days I am on my own and I admit I am worried about it and worried about making enough money to pay for the childcare that I will need during school vacations and summer time. Mostly I worry about summer because I have a couple kids to old for camp but I feel uncomfortable leaving them alone all day. And also paying for camp for the other 2 younger children. It makes me want to keep staying home or only working part time, but I can't do that forever and it would be nice to make an actual income aside from child support once I am done with school.
That is nerve wracking. I work 3 evenings and Saturdays. Even though my daughter is too old for child care she is too young to stay home by herself all the time. She's okay every few Saturdays, but nights she gets anxiety attacks and I wouldn't think of making her stay home alone during the evenings like that. My mom can't handle watching Dawn, even, once a week. But her other grandparents have been there to watch her even when she's sick. I'm lucky they have been there. My mom will take over with that if Dawn's grandparents can't watch her. He dad has her often, too, but can't take time off whenever he needs to.
Can your older kids get a p/t job or apply to be a camp councilor? I used to shovel snow or mow lawns for neighbors and babysit. If your kids have taken a babysitting course that may be an option. I think there are still parents that accept a teenager to watch their kids. I live off quite a bit on my child support, too. But his income is commission and since the company has lost a big contract he isn't pulling in the money like he used to. So, it's always worrying that he won't be able to help out as much as I need.
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