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Originally Posted by mommy2awinterchild
The main reason i have waited so long to take him to court is because i know the judge will give him the right to visitation and i feel he does not deserve that right at all.
Originally Posted by CookieMonsterMommy
Okay, I have a few things to say:
1) Where are you getting it that SSI would make you an unfit mother!??! There are mamas here and all over who's ONLY source of income is welfare and/or SSI. It might lower your dc's father's opinion of you, but oh well.
2) You will most certainly have to tell the courts about your son's SSI. And he will most likely find out
3) Unless he's unfit, not only will he most likely be awarded visitation, but he DESERVES that visitation (more importantly, so does your son). It's not a case of "Well, he's paying, so he should get to see the kid" it's more along the lines of "It's his child, and BOTH deserve to know each other". Again, this is unless your son is in danger with him. yeah, it sucks that it's sporadic, but believe it or not, your son getting to know his father is important, even though it's not as often as he or you would like that. (trinity talks about this eloquently, as her situation with her dd).
4) Going to court is ALWAYS a hastle. Lessen this, maybe, by disclosing things before hand, so all is out in the air, there are no "I didn't know that!" and what not.
5) I'm not sure about SSI, but is there a chance that your dc's dad's "child support" money would go right back to the gov't to pay them back? I know I got medicaid for my son, and the state went after his dad, take money from his check, and they keep it all to pay themselves back. They don't care about us or ds, just about getting their $$.
Originally Posted by ExuberantDaffodil
As far as visiation is concerned, there is no court order, but I am trying really hard to be fair. I let X come around once or twice a week to see DS. My gut wants to cut him off completely, but my love for my son prevails. He has a right to get to know his father, no matter what a scum bag I think the guy is. I do insist on supervised visits until DS is old enough to communicate with me in case (oh heaven forbid) anything bad happens.
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