Ooh, I have another "how to not to wear your baby" anecdote! At a garage sale one time I saw a... product... still in its battered box... that was presumably designed by someone extremely childless.
It was like a little ledge attached to a waist strap. A little flat seat. No backrest or straps to support the child's back, or indeed anything to prevent him falling off. Apart from looking like a really ugly fanny pack, it was just a super-inconvenient way to carry your child on your hip - an artificial hip extension, I guess it was! But you'd still have to hold the kid, and the waist strap didn't have any shoulder straps or anything so it would be REALLY uncomfortable... and... well, it boggled the mind. I could see why it ended up on a garage sale table. :p