Advice for abrupt weaning - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 4 Old 06-23-2004, 06:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello,
I need to wean my two and a half year old and I need to do it in the next couple of weeks. This is due to a medical situation--I'll not go into the whole long story, but I have agonized over it and it just is necessary for her health as well as mine, and can't be put off. Until now, I have nursed her freely and figured she'd wean when she weaned. She has slowed down, and in fact has moved towards weaning her self to some extent. She is very bright and easy to reason with, and I really feel if I can explain it to her in a way that makes sense she will be cooperative. But that is where I am stuck. What do I say to her? I don't want to be negative or alarming--like saying the nooks are broken, or Mommy's milk will make her sick. And I don't want to simply cut her off with no explanation. So, any advice would be much appreciated.
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#2 of 4 Old 06-23-2004, 05:12 PM
 
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I'm sorry you're having health problems.

I think that's a good idea to give her some warning that it will be ending. So, maybe you can give her a week's notice? I would suggest letting her go to the toy store and pick out a special "weaning toy" that's going to help her get through it. Also maybe a new special drink she can have as a replacement (smoothie, vanilla soymilk or ricedream, etc.). Maybe you can have a little weaning party for her. Some of the mamas here have had them and they can probably give you some ideas for that.

I'd definately assure her that she can still cuddle with you and be close to you whenever she wants. It'll probably help a lot that she's already self weaning a bit.

Can you tell her that mommy's body is getting too tired to make milk? Are you going to have to take any special medications? That would be pretty easy to tell her that you need medicine that would go through your milk and would not be good for her. Sorry my suggestions aren't more helpful. You know your dd best and what would worry/upset her to hear and what she'd be ok with hearing. I wish you luck.
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#3 of 4 Old 06-23-2004, 09:27 PM
 
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I had a friend who drew red lines near her nipples, put bandaids on them, and explain that Mommy has owwies on her breasts and couldn't nurse. Her dd could hug, cuddle and kiss them, but no nursing. I never thought it would work when she told me what she was going to do. I couldn't believe how easy it worked for her. Her daugher was about 2.5 and seemed to totally get it. And she was a girl who nursed almost nonstop until then.

(My friend weaned due to medical reasons too)
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#4 of 4 Old 07-02-2004, 02:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the great advice! I knew I had come to the right place! I had actually heard of another mama doing the band aids, about a year ago. At the time I said (not to the mama), "Wow, that's pretty weird." Munch, munch, munch...eating my words.

I gave my daughter a couple days warning, talked a lot about it. Then we took her to pick out her own special big-girl cup, and had a little party for her--sang "Happy Big Girl to You" and had lemonade in her new cup. I tried to just play up the exciting things about being a big girl, but in the end she kept wanting to see the "nooks" and I wasn't totally comfortable with pushing the big girl thing, so i put bandages over my nipples so she could see they are "broken" and she has been pretty accepting about it. It is very very hard not to nurse her, though I know it would not be good for her. I definitely gained a deeper belief in child-led, or at least child involved, weaning--though I had planned on letting her wean herself all along. The cool thing is that we are now spending a lot of time singing and telling stories while cuddling--so there is a nice intimacy that invovles me paying complete attention to her, rather than nursing her while I do other things (read, watch a movie, use the computer, etc.) So, we are finding our way through it.
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