nursing during pregnancy seems unnatural to me - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 12:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not being snarky, I really don't get it. Usually people on MDC are told to "trust their instincts"...ie if a pregnant women feels like something is wrong, or has an aversion to something. But when someone is pregnant and nursing an older baby/child becomes uncomfortable, painful, or gives them the creeps, they're encouraged to stick with the nursing. It seems to me that pain or an aversion to nursing during pregnancy is the body's way of telling you that you shouldn't nurse during pregnancy. So why is nursing during pregnancy encouraged?
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#2 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 02:05 PM
 
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Well, I think we all need to do what works for us. I haven't seen too many of the type of posts you are referring to - I've see the "when will it get easier" and "I want to do it but I'm not sure I can". In response to these most people encourage the OP not go give up, which IMO is a good response, the OP seems to want to continue but needs encouragement.
Another possiblity is that the older child is under 2 and it seems most of the memebers here agree that nursing until 2 is a minimum. Many practice CLW and it is obvious that the child is not ready to wean.
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#3 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 02:06 PM
 
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This is a good topic. I'm sure there are some strong opinions out there supporting both sides of the issue.

I think it's important for us all to remember that the US is soooo backwards with it's views of childbirth and nursing. The majority of the world nurses until kids are 3-4 yo (pregnant mom or not). Some toddlers often need oral comfort. When they are encouraged to wean before they are ready they take to paci's, bottles (with anything in it), thumbs, so on. It's a big world for them and they need comfort and will find it some way.

I saw a program that showed a family in a small village. The father was tending to the sick adolescent child while the pregnant mother ground a medicinal root for the sick adolescent. As the pregnant mother was leaning over working on grinding the root - her other toddler was nursing. Not sure if you can visualize this but it was a very powerful image for me. This mother was caring for her sick adolescent, nursing her toddler, all with a baby growing inside of her. THIS is natural.

That said we all have to do what works for us. I nursed through the majority of my second pregnancy. My dd would still be nursing I'm sure if I let it up to her. For me - I knew I didn't have it in me to tandem nurse. I would have loved to in some ways but I'm aware of my limits. In fact dd just asked to nurse yesterday and she hasn't nursed for 6 months.

I say - lets all be aware of our judgement, keep an open mind remembering we live in a backwards country, and do whatever works for us.

Peace.
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#4 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 02:08 PM
 
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Caedmyn -

If I can just add - I noticed you have written in your signature this great quote =

What is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.

Right on!!! That's exactly what I'm talkin about!
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#5 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm not trying to judge anybody, and I hope I didn't come across that way. It just seems that in a society with no outside influences, if a woman feels miserable nursing during pregnancy, they're going to stop. That seems natural to me. I'm not saying you shouldn't encourage people to nurse during pregnancy if that's what they want to do, but it seems to be more a reflection of people wanting to space their children more closely together than is really natural than anything else (IMO). (ie in a less developed society kids tend to be spaced more like 3-4 years apart, which allows the older child to naturally wean or to be gently weaned when they're at a more developmentally ready stage w/o requiring nursing during pregnancy.)
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#6 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 03:07 PM
 
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I think it should be a personal choice between the mother and the child, regardless of society's expectations.

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#7 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 03:33 PM
 
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every woman had to do what works.

I think a lot of the advice to 'wait a week" or "try this or that" is based on not wanting a woman to wean cuz of a time limited issue (sore nipples at teh start of pregancy or whatever) that might very well change AND then the mom would regret not trying harder, or waiting it out of whatever -- trying to give suggestions to prevent rash decsions. trying to offer suggestion beyond weaning ... woman who really want to wean WEAN, woman who question it and question it more likly than not do not in their heart want to or think it is best, they are just blindsided by issues at the time and can't see any other options. moms who are sure in their heart that weaning is best for them, and the child... just do it.

also it really helops -- to hear "yes i had sore nipples and it was better by week 15" or "I had sore nipples but really upping my water intake helped a lot"

we do live in a culture were bf past 6 month is amazing, wehere bf a tot much less a pre-schooler -- is seen as an oddity.... where nurseing while pg and then tn is unusal or even werid -- (even in teh medical community -- my PED tried to get me to wean!!!!). we need support from other moms. we need to know we are normal and not alone. i think some moms who talk about weaning are parroting society -- and what they are hearing all day -- and are looking for permission not to.

also it is nice to hear from BTDT moms that whatever you are feeling -- pain, tired, creepy -- can be over come and / or is a time limited feeling that won't last the whole 9 months or whatever....sometimes THAT fact 'ther eis an end in sight" is enough to give a mom the inner reserve to get though a hard time.

I have never seen a post where a mom was set on weaning, not questioning, expring options, or just feeling there was not another option.... and was bashed for it, or not supported. The posts i see are moms who fear that is the only option, or are so overwlmed they jsut want it over (the pain or whatever) and see ending the BF as the only wayt o end the challange.

I know i NEVER NEVER thought i would nurse while pregant -- i was CONVINCED that pregancy was a natrual time to wean the first born.......i knew a lady who nursed her 3 year old all her pregancy (child was about 4 at new birth) and i thought "i could never do that"

then we decedied we wanted our kids close, we looked at my age and Dh's age and decided to TTC at 9 months .... our new one is due a week before Theo's 2nd birthday.......and here is the kickjer -- once i was in a realtionship with Theo thoughts of TTC and preancgy were no longer seen as conflicted with Theo still needing me. and realistically I NEVER once considered weaning Theo.......he is still a baby, he still needs breast milk, and the nurseing time we have... he is not ready.

part of TTC so soon, and have two so close, we agreed not to force T to grow up sooner than he woud have otherwise. with out this pregancy I'd NEVER consider weaning him at 18 months -- so i see no reason to consider it now. but the thing is --

-- that is all rational brain talk -- once i was in the siutation my heart changed. i look at him nurseing and have no desier to cut him off -- it would hurt him so much,a nd it would hurt me. That is a feeling that had changed since i have been nureing him, vs what i thought i would think abnd feel when talking about it before having him and a bf reslationship with him.....

I am amazed -- myself -- that we are still nurseing on cue all day and all night at 18 months and me 4 months along with sib 2.....it NEVER thought it would feel right, never thought it was rationally the best idea......but now it does.

I think a lot of moms need support and permission to follow their hearts and get by the though times. and THAT is what they are looking for in posts that expore weaning -- again i think the moms who really want to wean, in their heart, and feel they and the child are ready -- just do it, you know.

AImee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#8 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 05:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
I have never seen a post where a mom was set on weaning, not questioning, expring options, or just feeling there was not another option.... and was bashed for it, or not supported. The posts i see are moms who fear that is the only option, or are so overwlmed they jsut want it over (the pain or whatever) and see ending the BF as the only wayt o end the challange.

then we decedied we wanted our kids close, we looked at my age and Dh's age and decided to TTC at 9 months .... our new one is due a week before Theo's 2nd birthday.......and here is the kickjer -- once i was in a realtionship with Theo thoughts of TTC and preancgy were no longer seen as conflicted with Theo still needing me. and realistically I NEVER once considered weaning Theo.......he is still a baby, he still needs breast milk, and the nurseing time we have... he is not ready.

part of TTC so soon, and have two so close, we agreed not to force T to grow up sooner than he woud have otherwise. with out this pregancy I'd NEVER consider weaning him at 18 months -- so i see no reason to consider it now. but the thing is --
What I was trying to convey with my OP (not very successfully it seems!) was that I don't understand the (what seems to me to be) contradiction between the rest of MDC, where following your instincts/listening to your body is encouraged, and nursing during pregnancy, where the opposite (ie discomfort is temporary, aversions will go away, etc) is encouraged. I understand that some women want reassurance and some need help to overcome negative or "mainstream" opinions in any area, but that's not what I'm talking about.

I think you've more or less supported my point...it's not so much that nursing during pregnancy is truly natural as that it's something that is done in this country because we want to have our children closer together than we'd probably have them in a "traditional" society...at least that's how it appears to me.
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#9 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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What I was trying to convey with my OP (not very successfully it seems!) was that I don't understand the (what seems to me to be) contradiction between the rest of MDC, where following your instincts/listening to your body is encouraged, and nursing during pregnancy, where the opposite (ie discomfort is temporary, aversions will go away, etc) is encouraged. I understand that some women want reassurance and some need help to overcome negative or "mainstream" opinions in any area, but that's not what I'm talking about.
i think listening to your heart and body -- and "working through challanges" in breastfeeding are not mutally excluisve -- be it new to breastfeeding, be in thrush, be it nurseing while pregant or whatever ------- there are tims when nurseing hurts, a little or more than a little -- and nurseing preggo is not the only time -- and the pain can be a signal that we need to change (better latch on, treat thrush, drink more water...). so it is importna to listen to our body when we exerepince pain while nurseing -- and find out why it hurts and what can be done.

but -- imo -- pain does not mean you have to stop bf. pain does mean soemthing needs to be addresses and understaood .. and i think THAT is the help moms who are nurseing while preggo often come looking for -- will it get better, when and how can i help it......

I can't say as i am educated enouhg to say we nurse druing pregancy in teh US to "rush" our kids and have then artifacally close together or not. i know a lot of moms -- here adn IRL -- who got preggo fast while nurseing without trying to (I tried) ... and we've all be advised not to relie on BF as BC unless we are ready for kids 14 months apart (I have two freinds with kids 14 adn 15 months apart and one with en 16 months)................i do think that many of us who want to have kids that close are realistic enough to know our "older child" is still a baby and we do not force them to wean -- though i know NO ONE who has forced a child to keep nurseing. but i also know moms who do wean when they get pregant, cuz they don't want to deal with the pain, or they don't want to even onsider TN or whatever..............

I personally do not have enough anthropitalc knowldege to site what other cultures so -- wean, or TN. I DO not that TN is fairly common in the rest of the wrold -- then again we have to remember that we are an oddity in the US and th e industuralied West that we have a diet that allows a moms body to make milk for a tot, and grow a baby -- so you can't always compare what moms in other places MIGHT do if it were more possible (I am sure there are tots in Africa that self wean due to loss of milk, whereas that same moma dn tot pair in the US with more food and better care might nurse though and TN, cuz the mom's body would be able to handle it).

I am just stateing

1. my FEELINGS canged -- thus the message my heart was sending me changed after i statred nurseing T -- long before TTC this one. while preggo with him, i never would have thought I'd nurse preggo or TN.....i was totally opposed to it, didn't see it as normal, or biologically natual..............then i started to bf with T and POOF my heart changes long before we even TTC this one.

2. i have never encouraged a mom who really wanted to wean not to -- i don't see most of the posts on MDC as moms who really are set on weaning....i think a mom who has decided to wean and is clear in her heart on it -- jsut does it. however when moms are wondering, or faceig chalanges, then yes i do offern them BTDT advice or thoughts to weigh adgist weaning -- so they can truely follow their heart and not just be shut out by lack of knwoldge and support -- which is , imo, the greatest danger to bf at any point in the realtionship.

Aimee

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#10 of 27 Old 05-22-2007, 07:06 PM
 
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sorry posted in the wrong spot

Betsy, Mommy to DS (10) DD (4) DS (2) and DS (1)
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#11 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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I agree that it is odd. When I was pregnant with my son, the first sign was that my milk supply dropped radically and nursing became uncomfortable. My 17-month-old daughter, who had previously been nursing 3-4 times in 24 hours, suddenly wanted to nurse all the time and got clingy (not her usual pattern at all). So I honored her feelings and we nursed all the time. My supply rebounded. Later in the pregnancy, when she was 20 months old, my supply tailed off to nothing and nursing became agonizingly painful. I decided it was time to wean, sat her down and talked with her about it, and while she did ask to nurse sometimes for about a week afterward, she readily took to alternatives and and did not display any signs of distress (for example, she did not again become clingy, and there was certainly never any crying or anything). I feel that my body was telling me it was time to wean her, and by her reaction, I think it's clear she was ready. She was always the kind of kid who was more interested in the milk than in the nursing experience, and even before I became pregnant, I thought she was likely to wean before she turned 2.

It seems to me that if it weren't a good time, biologically, for me to become pregnant again, I wouldn't have become pregnant. And that if pregnancy weren't a good time for my older child to wean, my milk supply wouldn't have disappeared.

As far as I can recall from Diane Bengson's generally pro child-led-weaning book "How Weaning Happens," no other mammal species tandem nurses, and no traditional societies encourage it (though it does apparently sometimes happen in secret). By which I'm not trying to suggest that people shouldn't do it, but rather that there's no reason to feel guilty about not doing it.

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#12 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 03:57 AM
 
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(lol, i bumped into this thread while I was searching for the tandem nursing theread so I decided to put my two cents in)

I think that it just depends on many factors and everyone is different and even between child to child it is different. When i was pregnant with my dd I wanted to keep bf ds at any cost but I just couldn't handle it between morning sickness and sore breasts and trying to take care of my elder daughter...it just was tooo much plus i had no help.

this time I am pregnant and ds#2 is breastfeeding and i guess its just my luck that I have had no morning sickness this time and no sore breasts (lol, i am not sure how far along i am but i think I am 10 weeks) and we are still breastfeeding strong. Now if I felt the way I felt the last time I think I would also have weaned.

Its not an easy thing and at a certain point in our lives because of certain situations or certain factors we cant handle it - later on in our lives those factors change and there are more supportive factors well then we can handle it.

On another note, posters encourage others to keep breastfeeding so that later they don't regret their decision. there usually are times that are rougher than others and if you can get over the hump with support then you are usually a happy camper and happy that you continued in your quest to be a tandem nurser.

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#13 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 10:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by skueppers View Post
As far as I can recall from Diane Bengson's generally pro child-led-weaning book "How Weaning Happens," no other mammal species tandem nurses, and no traditional societies encourage it (though it does apparently sometimes happen in secret). By which I'm not trying to suggest that people shouldn't do it, but rather that there's no reason to feel guilty about not doing it.
I'll have to read the book, but if your recollection is accurate, it definitely appears to me that nursing during pregnancy (and tandem nursing) is just a product of our wanting to space our children closely together while still believing that children need to nurse for extended periods of time. I think tandem nursing is just so engrained in the AP philosophy that nobody wants to think about it too much. JMO
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#14 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 10:42 AM
 
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I'll honestly say it didn't FEEL very natural to me. It hurt the whole time. But, in my heart it felt like the right thing to do, since my dd wasn't ready in any way to stop. I think we all have to follow the path we think is right for our families/selves. It's give and take. Sometimes our needs come first, and sometimes we have to put our own feelings on the back burner to do what is better for our kids in the long run. For me, I knew transition to sisterhood would be much better for my dd if she was still nursing. And I was right, she's an amazing sister & didn't have any issues.

Hugs!
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#15 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 11:06 AM
 
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I skimmed this thread quickly and it doesn't appear that anyone has mentioned Hilary Flower's authoritative book on the subject, Adventures In Tandem Nursing. Kellymom is also a great place to get good information on the subjects of nursing during pregnancy and tandem nursing afterwards. I have posted some links at the bottom.

As far as whether "traditional" societies tandem nursed or not, Flower mentions two of them in her book. If I remember correctly, one is not representative of tandem nursing per se but it does have extended nursing upwards of age 12 or so. That custom of extended nursing can conflict with the custom of weaning the older child when a sibling is born. I can't remember if they usually nurse throughout the pregnancy. She gives an example of a woman with a sickly first born that she did not feel comfortable weaning. I'm guessing the older child was a year or so old and she continued to nurse for another 6 months or so (sorry, I'm a little fuzzy on the details, perhaps someone else can confirm or set me straight). The second traditional society, Mongolia (inner or outer, can't remember which) is more directly on point. If I remember correctly, they still tandem nurse and their clothing accomodates tandem nursing.

In any case, I don't think tandem nursing is that much more "unnatural" than nursing twins or triplets. Once upon a time multiple births were a rarity and questionable nutrition would have made it difficult to nurse multiples. While today nursing multiples is not expected, at least not exclusively, it is encouraged.

I appreciate that nursing throughout a pregnancy can be very difficult and uncomfortable but it isn't necessarily all or nothing, you can discontinue nursing during pregnancy and try to resume afterwards.

I am a fairly mainstream mom and when I first started nursing I tried to do a cost benefit of when DD1 would have gotten the most bang for the buck, so to speak. Seriously, I asked anyone who might have an intelligent opinion on the topic if you got 90% or 80% of the benefit at 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, etc. (I now realize how ridiculous that was.) And yet when I became pregnant when she was barely a year old it was never a question that I would continue to nurse her, despite a sharp drop in supply, as long as she seemed to need it. And she really, really did need it; I remember how desperately she would "work it" when my supply bottomed out. Of course, I was lucky in that I never experienced the heebie jeebies or creepy crawlies like some women do.

As far as the perception that there is an overall MDC expectation or assumption of nursing throughout pregnancy, I disagree. I think this thread is pretty representative of the attitude that it's worth considering but if you can't do it, you can't do it. I think it's especially important to keep an open mind in situations where: 1) the older of the two nurslings is still very young and weaning would mean putting them on formula, 2) where the older child still seems to need it emotionally, and 3) where the older child has health or dietary issues (e.g.: dairy intolerance) ... especially if the Mom is not experiencing the "heebie jeebies".

Of course if the mother has a history of pre-term or fast labor or otherwise seems to be at risk for premature delivery then she should discontinue nursing, but that is a rarity. Kellymom and Adventures In Tandem Nursing both address this.

Speaking from personal experience as a Mom that works out of the home full time, nursing has been a great way to stay connected with my toddler and it seems to have minimized potential jealousy issues. Even now that DD2 is mobile and more of a "threat" to her toys, DD1 seems to have little or no resentment towards her. DD1 will be 3 at the end of August and DD2 will be one next month and I am hoping for a gradual weaning with DD1 over the next 3 to 6 months but at this rate she may not wean until DD2 does.

I would really encourage everyone to keep an open mind on this.

LINKS
Nursing During Pregnancy & Tandem Nursing
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html

NursingTwo.com
http://nursingtwo.kellymom.com/

Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond
http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Tan...9922305&sr=8-1

~Cath
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#16 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 11:30 AM
 
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On another note, posters encourage others to keep breastfeeding so that later they don't regret their decision. there usually are times that are rougher than others and if you can get over the hump with support then you are usually a happy camper and happy that you continued in your quest to be a tandem nurser.
i see this a lot

a mom who is not set on weaning -- but in a dark sopt and not really sure what to do -- we live in a culture where WEAN is a visible option, and sometimes other advice or options are not as obvious.

a little BTDT support, encouragement that cutting back is ok, limits are ok and don't have to mean weaning totally, encouragement that the pain will get better (I am 16 week and it is gone, it was bad -- at latch on -- for a while though)......and so on......

SOme moms wean,. some don't and some take it day by day and see what works at each stage for them and their babies 9nurseing and in womb, or both nurseing).........

Aimee + Scott = Theodore Roosevelt (11/05) and 23 months later Charles Abraham (10/07)....praying for a little sister; the search starts May 2014
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#17 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 11:43 AM
 
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Well, I just posted about the difficulty I've been having nursing my 2.5 year old while pregnant.

I don't feel that it is unnatural, per se, although it does hurt. It is hard for me to nurse through pregnancy, yes, but I believe it would be much, much harder for me to wean. I can't imagine how Ani would feel if I was nursing the baby and not nursing her when she so so clearly needs it. I certainly don't fault any mothers for weaning during pregnancy, and I can see how it would feel unnatural to some. I, personally, don't have that icky-creepy-crawly feeling at all, just that it hurts. And well, pregnancy is uncomfortable in itself sometimes, with morning sickness, cramps, back pain, etc, that doesn't mean that it is unnatural.

If I suddenly felt a real hatred of nursing, or if I felt like I really couldn't take it anymore, I would wean. I think it is a very personal decision.
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#18 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 11:45 AM
 
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I guess I don't see it as an all or nothing thing. I'm 17 weeks pregnant and still nursing 20 month old DS. My supply is low now and we nurse less frequently, but we still nurse a few times a day, and it's there for him when he really needs it. Cutting back a bit for my comfort, but not cutting it out completely, seemed to me like the most natural thing to do.

This week I was so glad that we had not weaned because DS came down with a flu and high fever. He hasn't been eating and hardly wants to drink water, but nursing is helping him a lot, both for comfort and for fluids and nutrition.
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#19 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 12:11 PM
 
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actually, on our bb, i just advised a mom to night wean so that she didn't hate to nurse so often. we night weaned so that i wasn't so exhausted...and i cherish nursing even more!

Jen-loving Bill, mama to Teryn 18, Kalyn 16, Ricky 13, Natalie 5, Angel Zoe '07 and rainbow1284.gifAmelia Rae 22 mos bonus kids (dss) W 14, W 13 NEW grandbaby due 10/10/11

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#20 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 12:33 PM
 
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i would love to night weasn, i need sleep, not sure how to do it with out paniced frantic baby

A

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#21 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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Tandem nursing is perfectly natural. If you chose not to tandem nurse, that's cool but there is no need to justify that by trying to prove it isn't natural (a subjective term anyway)

Try searching. This comes up often.
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#22 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 02:43 PM
 
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Which reminds me after I had posted I read again the title of the thread and realized we all sorta got off topic because the original poster had said that it was something unnatural to breastfeed while pregnant.

I would have to disagree I think it is very NATURAL for a mom to want to give her nursling the best even if she is pregnant with another child who will be a nursling. Its only natural and normal to do this as is wanting to provide the child with the best clothes and best toys -- why not provide the best milk - mother's milk even if it is a bit difficult on mom - a lot of times mom wants to sacrifice her comfort to give her baby the very best and that is very NATURAL!!!

Momma to GG (dd - 14 yrs old), Active (ds - 10 yrs old), Toon (dd - 8 years old), Olive (ds - 5 years old), Princess (dd - 4 years old) and babyboy.gif Keemo (ds - 24 days old)

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#23 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 02:48 PM
 
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As far as I can recall from Diane Bengson's generally pro child-led-weaning book "How Weaning Happens," no other mammal species tandem nurses, and no traditional societies encourage it (though it does apparently sometimes happen in secret). By which I'm not trying to suggest that people shouldn't do it, but rather that there's no reason to feel guilty about not doing it.
Actually, I was wrong -- I just looked at "How Weaning Happens," and the passages I'm remembering must be in some other book. I do now have in front of me Hilary Flower's "Adventures in Tandem Nursing." She found that "The practice may not be common in any country, but isolated reports from Papua New Guinea, Mali, and Mongolia make it clear that tandem nursing does occur in some developing countries." However, she also noted that there are cultural taboos against nursing during pregnancy in many societies, and remarked that it is very common for women to become pregnant when their children are around 3 and to wean at that time.

In any case, it seems obvious that weaning during pregnancy is extremely common throughout history and around the world, that there are biological reasons why this is so, and that it is also widespread among other mammals. This certainly doesn't mean that we SHOULD be weaning our children during pregnancy (we are, after all, capable of thinking for ourselves and doing what seems right for ourselves and our own children), but it also means that we are following in a long and established tradition if we do.

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#24 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 03:06 PM
 
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In any case, it seems obvious that weaning during pregnancy is extremely common throughout history and around the world, that there are biological reasons why this is so, and that it is also widespread among other mammals. This certainly doesn't mean that we SHOULD be weaning our children during pregnancy (we are, after all, capable of thinking for ourselves and doing what seems right for ourselves and our own children), but it also means that we are following in a long and established tradition if we do.
when considering the above point -- which is a good piint -- it think it behoves us to remember we -- in teh industralized wealth nations of the world in 2007 -- are unquic in time and place. we have enough food, to make getting pregant while BF likly...we have enough food to be able to continue (a lot of us) to make milk while pregant...we have prenatal care, vitiams, protine drinks and lots of clean water....all of which make getting pragant eaier, keeping a baby eaisier and making milk easier...and all of which are things woman crossing the midwest on a wagon train did not have, and sadly are things many many moms today do not have.

Weaning when a mom get pregant may have alwasy been the norm up to the last 50 to 70 fears, or the last 20..... -- but it is wise to consider WHY it was the norm -- look at the reality and the conxet that created that norm. As we do not live in that reality or context any more in the US (or Britian and so on) then it only makes sense that the curtual norms are going to change.....

Aimee

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#25 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 03:48 PM
 
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I have thought about this topic alot. As far as "natural" goes......the word is relative. I got pregnant while nursing my 16mo and stopped producing milk quickly after. I continued to nurse all throughout pregnancy and tandem after. I got pregnant on purpose after having my 1st (and only) period since ds1 was conceived. I had a magnificent aversion to nursing. A repulsion to be specific. I felt terrible feeling this way, but I do feel it was my body screaming, "NO!". It does seem like it would have been natural as a human (animal) to wean. My body wanted me to wean, but I did not want to because I wanted what was best for my ds1. And I think I did what was best. It was my decision to get pregnant again and I did not want to deprive the current relationship we shared. I am very happy with the decision I made, but it has made me think about this topic extensively since my experience.

Of course, to each their own. The right decision is the decision YOU make as a couple, or trio for that matter.

I think that when we support each other to continue nursing is because it's a good thing to support. Maybe we just need support in our own decisions, but when you put yourself out there, requesting guidance, people are going to tell you what they think is best.
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#26 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 07:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Aimee21972 View Post
when considering the above point -- which is a good piint -- it think it behoves us to remember we -- in teh industralized wealth nations of the world in 2007 -- are unquic in time and place. we have enough food, to make getting pregant while BF likly...we have enough food to be able to continue (a lot of us) to make milk while pregant...we have prenatal care, vitiams, protine drinks and lots of clean water....all of which make getting pragant eaier, keeping a baby eaisier and making milk easier...and all of which are things woman crossing the midwest on a wagon train did not have, and sadly are things many many moms today do not have.

Weaning when a mom get pregant may have alwasy been the norm up to the last 50 to 70 fears, or the last 20..... -- but it is wise to consider WHY it was the norm -- look at the reality and the conxet that created that norm. As we do not live in that reality or context any more in the US (or Britian and so on) then it only makes sense that the curtual norms are going to change.....

Aimee
I would have to disagree that we're better nourished today than people have ever been before. Better than people in this country 100 years ago...maybe, although that's open to debate. Better than traditional societies who weren't exposed to processed or refined foods, no. If you look at the work of Dr. Weston Price, who studied traditional isolated populations around the 1920's, the people who were eating their native diets were much healthier than people today. I think the same traditional wisdom that dictated their food choices discouraged nursing during pregnancy, because it could compromise nutrition for the new baby. That's JMO and I really don't want to open up a whole 'nother can of worms, but I do feel that's why nursing during pregnancy isn't common traditionally or in the animal kingdom. Of course, as a PP said, we can think rationally and choose to nurse during pregnancy if we feel our diets are adequate to provide for 3.
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#27 of 27 Old 05-23-2007, 09:24 PM
 
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I am following my instincts. I have not had to just work through discomforts while pregnant but many other times too throughout the nursing relationship. Any relationship is not going to be all a bed of roses so there are times when I want to discuss with other moms what is going on and hear what their experience is.
I have found with nursing that most things will pass given a little time. So it is usually wise to check with other moms and allow some time before reacting to a temporary problem. I have never regretted working through difficulities.
I really value the list here because other than once a month LLL meetings seventy miles away (which means I get there maybe once a year) I don't have any other place where I can honestly and openly discuss my nursing relationship without fear of judgement or being seen as a freak.
I always feel very respected in this community of nursing mamas and have never had anyone push me in a direction that I didn't want to go.
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