Shyly stepping in here.... - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 7 Old 06-07-2006, 03:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I finally admitted I have a problem.
My baby is 4 months old. I dont know if I have always been depressed or if its with each pregancny/baby. I have 4 kids, the last 3 are exactly 2 years apart, so it feels like I have been depressed forever.

I have no motivation. I cant keep up on anything I should do. I dont want to leave the house. My hubby doesnt understand. he tells me if I need tog et out to go do something. But its not that I dont want to, I CANT. I cant make myself do it.
Theres plenty more, i could go on and on. I feel like I will be this way till I die and there is nothing I can do about it. Well, thats how I have felt until now, when I finally made a dr appt. I am also haveing scary physical symptoms that I think are related to depression/anxiety.

So I have a dr appt tomorrow. How do you get thru the appt? I am so scared. This is my ob that I saw thru 2 pregnancies and the whole time I was seeing him, I never brought up how I felt, so I feel dumb that I spent so much time with him and never said anything. I just always felt like I just needed to shut up and quit whining, that this was just how I had to feel.
I about had a panic attack, just calling to make the appt, it was that scary.

So tell me about when you finally talked to your dr.
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#2 of 7 Old 06-07-2006, 04:06 PM
 
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Do you trust your OB? Really, really trust him? Know that he will listen to you? Because I'm sure he's seen a lot of mamas who struggled for a long time before they came to him and spilled their beans, so to speak. If he's worth his salt at all, he'll know that just because you haven't said anything doesn't mean you haven't been feeling anything. If he'll listen to you, and hear you, then he is a fantastic place to start getting yourself some help!

There is a very, very good thread here about natural remedies for PPD. If you can make it through it, I'd highly recommend the book The Mood Cure . I just started some of the amino therapies in the book yesterday and I feel SO MUCH BETTER in less than 24 hours. Honestly. I think it sounds like you could really benefit from the advice in the section about The Blahs!

You've made the first step, mama! Getting help can be scary, but it's less scary than staying where you are, wouldn't you say?
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#3 of 7 Old 06-07-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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First: huge hugs to you mama.

I have so been there.

The first time I admitted I had a problem I was in my early 20's and it was not pregnancy/post-partum related. I saw a psychiatrist and I have to be honest -- it was a horrible experience. I just sat an blubbered for 45 minutes and he sat there cold and clinically and wrote me a referral to a therapist. Which is all I needed him to do anyway -- so that my insurance would pay for it. This was almost 20 years ago -- and things have come a long way. Before prozac and zoloft and other SSRI-type antidepressants were really available - or I am sure he would have prescribed something. 'Cause I was in very bad shape.

I am telling you this not to freak you out. But to encourage you to be strong and be an advocate for your own mental health and well-being. Since then I have had 3 psychiatrists and 4 therapists and some of them have been excellent and some of them have been mediocre. The point is that not all of them a great. So if a particular mental health professional is not working for you/with you -- you seek out another.

Try not to put so much pressure on this one appt. The most important thing is that you are reaching out to take care of yourself. And to not feel sheepish or ashamed about acknowledging how you feel and getting help of some kind.

Please keep us posted ...
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#4 of 7 Old 06-07-2006, 09:44 PM
 
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It may not be as big of a deal to your doc as you think.

I actually called mine on the phone and said I needed meds. (I'd researched and decided what I wanted to do, and I'd been on Zoloft previously.) She prescribed over the phone and had me schedule a follow-up appt. to have me fill out some stupid questionare and talk a little more. That was it.

You are taking a great first step. If you do not feel that you get things moving in a good direction with this doc, find another, come back here, and keep reaching out in whatever ways you can till you feel like you're on a better path.
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#5 of 7 Old 06-10-2006, 01:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so glad I went. I was really scared, and really nervous(and my bp showed it!).
And when i left I felt so much better!
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#6 of 7 Old 06-10-2006, 03:04 AM
 
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So glad the appt. went well. Big to u for taking this step I know how hard it can be i was there myself. Take care.

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#7 of 7 Old 06-12-2006, 01:20 AM
 
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I just wanted to cry when I read your 1st post b/c I know how you feel & I'm so glad posted! It took me 3 misserable months to finally make an appointment w/a therapist & started posting her (so I cannot imagine your pain for as long as you've been in it!). Both helped, the posting her & chatting w/other women that understand has really helped w/my healing. I hope it does w/yours as well.

Rachel~wife to Keith since 5/01~mother to Georgia since 4/04~Bishop since 1/06~Zoe since 11/07 (my HBA2C!)~EDD 2/14/10 w/Baby surprise #4
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