Not being too verbal... - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 2 Old 01-24-2008, 09:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay, this is an issue that comes up for me frequently with other mothers... the idea that I have gotten from "You are Your Child's First Teacher" of not being overly verbal with kids about emotions/ conflicts.
I prefer to keep it all as simple as possible, with ds and other kids, not asking much but letting them volunteer information or feelings. I really attempt to stay out of their disputes if I can, and try to help them pass over it as quickly as seems appropriate. (The idea being that their souls are not ready for heavy, prolonged emotions.)
Also, I've tried to keep any statements from me as simple and direct as I can, without analyzing what they've said, just responding to the actual words.

Now, this is very different from what many parents are doing with their children, and I've gotten some heat for "not caring" or "not listening".

One thing that I've been hearing about recently is "Non-Violent Communication". I don't know much about this, but I am not sure why it needs a name or a system not to be violent... (and of course, I'm wary of "isms"), and I'm worried that it might include a lot of analyzing feelings ("well, why do you think you feel that way" kind of stuff).

Based on all of this, does anyone have any info or thoughts?
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#2 of 2 Old 01-24-2008, 09:53 PM
 
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I agree that asking a child (under 7-9yo) to analyze their feelings and/or disagreements is bringing them too much into their heads too soon. I think Waldorf promotes having a rhythm to a child's day to keep them in a safe container, so to speak, to thrive and grow. This minimizes tension between a parent/child, child/sibling and child/peer. Keep things predictable and calm and quiet. Don't ask, instruct looking them in the eyes while leaning down to their level. Don't give too many choices. Children aren't ready for this.


check out the cds at thechildtoday called Simplicity Parenting and/or Soul of Discipline...gives you a lot to work with.

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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