I had to nightwean ds....and now he's back... - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 8 Old 02-22-2005, 02:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Due to hormonal insomnia and years of sleep-deprivation, I made the choice to nightwean ds at age 3.

We moved his bed across the room from ours. He can still climb into our bed, but I told him that "dersies" were very tired, and can't nurse when it's dark out, as they need sleep. They have to wait till "Mr. Sun" is awake.

BTW-he was completely potty-learned at 34 mos. He is encouraged to wake us up if he has to pee.

Everything was going well(and my new doc gave me a cheap,awesome sleeping pill-in order to get some consistent sleep).

Now that ds is 3.5, he is very clingy and he wants to nurse in the night.

When he wakes me up, he will kick,scream,hit,and even bite me to nurse him!!

I have been speaking softly to him that he needs to go back to sleep. that I will massage his back,etc..

He is violent,yells at me to "be quiet you BABY", "GIVE ME NURSIES!!" :

IRL, he is a usual,highly active ds who loves to keep us on our toes,and yet won't let any of us out of his sight w/o giving him a kiss and a hug!!!

Sooooo.....I am pms right now, and last night threatened not to give him "dersies" if he kept hurting me.

I felt terrible, but was desparate!!

Today, I talked with him about it, and he promised that he wouldn't go crazy.

I feel guilty. I feel violated. I feel confused. I can hardly keep up with him during the day! And now the night???

*sigh*

mp
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#2 of 8 Old 02-22-2005, 03:50 PM
 
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I don't have any concrete advice for you but it sounds like you could use some

Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
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#3 of 8 Old 02-22-2005, 08:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thankyou! Yes I do need that.

mp
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#4 of 8 Old 02-22-2005, 11:23 PM
 
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Wouldn't it be easier to just nurse at night? There may be other ways you can make your life simpler so that you aren't so exhausted. You may be so tired right now that you can't do any creative problem solving. Obviously night weaning hasn't worked for your son.

: Grandmother , 3 Adult Sons

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#5 of 8 Old 02-23-2005, 12:18 AM
 
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First,

Secondly, I guess I don't understand what is going on in your household. How long has this been going on for? How long was the nightweaning going "well" and what did that mean? Has there been any changes in his schedule, etc... that he would need some more night time? You mention "we"--- does DP have any insight? Can he help? How long is he wanting to nurse and how often? Has he increased his day nursing as well? Has he given up naps? Started preschool? Does he sleep in his own bed? Could he need more space? What substituations have you tried?

No real advice, just brainstorming.

 

 

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#6 of 8 Old 02-23-2005, 01:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies Ladies.

Foreverinbluejeans- It *should* be easier to nurse at night. But it isn't. I never was a good candidate for cosleeping and nightnursing. But my heart and instinct led me here. Ds's BD is in July. I started on nightweaning him in mid June. So when he was 3, he was nightweaned. So, this is 7 mos. that he has not nursed at night. I'd say that it was going well. I am not the kind of AP Mom that can get dc on the boob, and go back to sleep. I stay awake during the nursing and for hrs afterward. That is why I *hung* in there as long as I did. Since a couple of weeks ago, he's been waking up.

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#7 of 8 Old 02-23-2005, 02:51 AM
 
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what an awesome effort you have made...
I like the premise that nursing needs to be mostly enjoyable for both parties...
it's a relationship...and once we get resentful (not saying you are, but I got there)...it's time to re-assess.
I was very happy with Dr. Jay Gordon's nightweaning program...
good luck...
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#8 of 8 Old 02-23-2005, 09:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Tiredx2-

Our household is the same.....a sort of even balance of calm and chaotic! :LOL

He's been wanting to nurse now around 3:30 since (?) the beginning of Feb.

I nightweaned him with the help of Dr. Gordon starting in June. He turned 3 in July and was nightweaned by then. That means that he was going to sleep by nursing around 9-10 P.M. and sleeping till around 6:30. At first he would wake up a lot, I had his bed right up next to ours,and I would rub his back, whisper soothingly, and let him fall asleep like a pancake on me.

The "we" was when dh helped me to move ds's bed across the room. Dh has never helped at night. He sleeps extremely sound,and is now deaf in his right ear.

His sudden need to nurse is occuring in the day as well.

I am in the middle of reading "YOUR THREE OLD".....I think he is typical in that his need to be closer to me is increasing. The authors say this is VERY typical of a 3.5 yo. THey also say this is *THE* hardest age to manage OF ALL AGES!! :

Thanks for brainstorming with me.

christina-I am there being resentful. However....having read what I just in the above mentioned book, I am determined to take it night by night, and keep perservering. Talking to him before every bedtime seems to help a little.

Thanks!!!
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