The Second-guessing Game - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 9 Old 05-07-2005, 08:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last week at my acupuncture appointment, the practitioner told me I need to wean my 2 year old. "She won't do it on her own," she said, "I knew someone is China whose child nursed until they were 6 or 7!" I didn't say, "So? What a lucky kid!"

My midwife (who is awesome in most every way) told me, "Is [my newborn] on any kind of feeding schedule?" I say, "No, he just nurses whenever he wants". "Well, that works nicely for the first child, but it's a lot harder with the second. You could put him on a 3 or 4 hour schedule if you wanted to. You condition them, or they condition you".

Today, I took my baby to an osteopath for cranial-sacral therapy, and when the Dr. learned that I am tandem nursing, all she said was, "You nursed through pregnancy? That's really hard on your body".

Why do all these caregivers, who are so wonderful and great at their actual jobs, insist on giving me their opinions about nursing? They are all ostensibly worried about my well-being, but it's so unsupportive.

Has extended and/or tandem nursing been hard on your body? I don't know how to respond to this. I mean, it's not like I'm going to stop; maybe if it was killing me. It is really annoying when all the people who I'm paying to take care of us are second-guessing me all the time.
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#2 of 9 Old 05-08-2005, 08:08 PM
 
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Yes, it is irritating, isn't it! I used to think that people in the more "natural" health areas were more enlightened, but they really aren't are they? You go, Mama!
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#3 of 9 Old 05-08-2005, 10:46 PM
 
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your post reminds me of the time my OB told me at my 6 week checkup after the birth of my 2nd ds (and after i had just told him what a blessing tandem nursing was, and that we had gotten the hang of it, etc), he told he i needed to quit nursing my oldest. it was time for him to stop. 1st ds was only 18 mos at the time. that just blew my mind. he said it on his way out the door like it was an instruction. i just nodded as i wasn't planning on listening to him. i regret so much that i had no wit that day or i would have said, "why?".

you know what is best for your family and no one else should tell you something they don't understand unless they have proof of what they are telling you!

as for my health after tandeming for almost 3 yrs 9 mos (of which the last 13 mos nursing 3) i would say my health is much better than it was 6 years ago before any children! i try to take good care of myself to set a good example for my children and to stay healthy. of course, it's easy to get run down at times, but i would expect that of any mother regardless of whether they breastfeed or not.
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#4 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 12:12 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubertulip
Why do all these caregivers, who are so wonderful and great at their actual jobs, insist on giving me their opinions about nursing?
You'd think those in the field of alternative medicine/natural healing would be a little more knowledgeable or at least more open-minded, but when it comes right down to it they can be just as opinionated (and ignorant) as anyone in the traditional medical field can be unfortunately. Their opinions beyond their expertise should be seen as just that....an opinion.

Hang in there Mama, you have our support.
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#5 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 02:02 AM
 
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I'd be more inclined to evangelize or at least coolly hand over a pgae of evidencbased data on extended/tandem BFing to an alternative health practitioner. With regular medical doctors, I usually figure there's no prayer of competing with the dogma of their profession.

But as to my health -- it seems to be great. I am much healthier now than before I had a baby because I take care of myself better. I also feel that I am able to be more patient more easily with Bleuet because of all the wonderful nursing hormones.
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#6 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 10:43 AM
 
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Oops - forgot to answer your health question! I'm 46, my nursling is 5 1/2, and at park day last week I sprinted full speed as I raced him (on his bike) to the end of the trail. In other words, yeah, I'm doing good! :LOL
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#7 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 11:48 AM
 
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#8 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 05:20 PM
 
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I forgot to answer the health question too.

I am healthier now than I was pre-baby. From Day 1 I started eating better than I ever had because I knew I was eating for dd too. When dd weaned I was already in the healthy habit of eating well.

I also became more active, naturally. To keep up with dd I have to be in good health! She literally turned me into an athlete.
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#9 of 9 Old 05-09-2005, 05:23 PM
 
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Let them know how you feel and that you don't appreciate their comments. Seriously. They are expressing personal opinions and nothing else. They need to be told that they are out of line or they will continue to do it and they may even influence another not so savvy mom to wean.
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