The more My DS nurses, the longer I want him to. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 6 Old 05-14-2005, 02:14 AM - Thread Starter
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My DS is 4.5 months. My original "goal" was 6 months (This didnt mean I wanted to stop there, just prayed I made it) Now that BF is easy for me and I watch him love me...I'm going to let him self-wean. This is suprising to myself. I've come along way since I became pregnant.

I just wanted to say how much BF means to me, because it means so much to my son. I'm to the point where I feel FFing babies is almost abusive because they need us so much.(With the exception of those who can't of course) I have overwelming sadness when I hear Mothers say they'll "wean after the colostrum, because as long as they get that, its good." I could just cry. How could someone BF and look down at that angel and not see its not about the food only? Am I becoming a ratical or do others feel this way? Let me tell you, I work and Pump...and I HATE pumping...but would never stop.

I never thought I'd be a person to let my son self wean, since having him and nursing up till now, there's no question. But I'm very shy about telling this to anyone or NIP after he's a year. (My second goal was "a year", third "at least a year", as of recently, I might be saying "when he's ready" -I look forward to the looks and harrassment from my MIL, let me tell you!)

Today at work I overheard someone say they heard a woman's daughter say "Mommy, I want a sip" and lift her mama's shirt. The person telling the story said "My God, I almost Gagged. Thats disgusting." I was FURIOUS! Drinking from a cow is not disgusting!?!??!! It gets me sick that I'll be viewed as a *freak*because Im a good mother.

On a guilty note: I remember hearing about LLL before I was even married and thinking, "yeah, thats a bit much to be BF at 3 years old, ect." : So I know what others will be thinking when I decide to do this.

anyway...its late and I just need to vent and hear if anyone was once a *mainstream* BF-er and has switched to childled weaning when they saw how important it was to their DC.
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#2 of 6 Old 05-14-2005, 03:32 AM
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Yes, I had a more mainstream view of breastfeeding before dd was born and during her first year. I faithfully read all the mainstream magazines and all the books that were recommended in those magazines (the WTE series, Penelope Leach, etc.). Oh how I wish someone would have handed me an issue of Mothering. Just 1 issue would have done it for me because I thought I was completely alone (which is scary for a new mother when you have all these "experts" telling you what is right). It took me one very stressful year of battling my instincts to figure out that way of parenting was not for us. When I started trusting dd and myself, life was sooooo much more peaceful and happy. We hit some roadblocks and short periods of doubt but we always got back on track. It never felt right to make dd wean before she was ready, so we kept on. The journey was well worth it! 7 years might sound like a long journey but it was surprisingly short. Especially when you think of the average lifespan of a human being. Life, and our time as parents, is just too short to worry about the numbers.

Good luck on your journey, squirrelletta.
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#3 of 6 Old 05-14-2005, 05:48 PM
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You're definitely not alone, Squirrelletta! When I was pregnant I announced that I was going to breastfeed for one year. My nursling is now 5.5 years! At least I *think* he's still my nursling. At this stage of the game, I'm never sure if the last time he nursed was the last time! :
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#4 of 6 Old 05-16-2005, 02:54 PM
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Good for you mama! I hope all continues to go well.

Here’s to a long, happy and fulfilling nursing relationship to you and your babe!

Liz om.gif Lovin' DH partners.gif DS (12) coolshine.gif and forever missing DD angel3.gif (12/02/07) ribbonpb.gif
From the withered tree, a flower blooms~ He's here!!! So crazy in love with my  rainbow1284.gif  boy!!! 12/14/11 luxlove.gif fly-by-nursing1.gif

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#5 of 6 Old 05-16-2005, 03:23 PM
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I love nursing my baby and hope to let him self-wean, too. But I know people, even my close friends and family will not neccessarily approve. It's hard, I don't want them to think I'm a freak, but I guess I'll just have to educate them. And if they still don't approve then I have to let it go.

One thing that does concern me is that I have no sex drive. I guess this is normal when your nursing. But I have to say I feel a little guilty about continuing to BF when it's hard on my husband. He's really understanding, but he deserves a healthy sex life. Is this a reason to wean your child? Am I being selfish is I don't?
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#6 of 6 Old 05-16-2005, 07:44 PM
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Originally Posted by squirrelletta
I'm to the point where I feel FFing babies is almost abusive because they need us so much
I can appreciate your passion . . .I used to feel the same way and write things like this. I felt that as long as I included a disclaimer like this
With the exception of those who can't of course)
I could say "formula is evil blah, blah, blah" and it would be OK.

Well, now I learned my lesson the hard way that it's really not OK to say these things. I can e-mail you my complete story, but my second DD has had to have formula. Things are looking hopeful after a visit from our 3rd LC, but only because we miraculously stumbled upon someone who does cranial-sachral therapy and it seemed to work, or at least I am PRAYING that it does the trick.

How many people are this lucky? If it were a supply issue with me (and trust me, I was borderline because of this whole thing) there's really only so much one can do. I used to truly believe that pretty much every female could BF. Well, maybe that's true (and I don't think it is) but there's another factor here that is often not considered . . .can the BABY breastfeed? Some babies can't or require such superhuman efforts (time and money that many people just don't have) that it is nearly impossible.

I "thought" I had earned my BF stripes by dealing with DD1's bad latch for 2 months and sticking out the pain. Ha, ha, I was wrong. DD2's issues are FAR more severe, and even then . . .we as a nursing couple have far less challenges than other people I have come to know on this journey.

So, I have learned to be passionate about breastfeeding, but I will never again, under any circumstances, criticizie formula or people who use it. Like I said, I learned it the hard way . . .I hope you don't have to.

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