curious about older nurslings and feeding to sleep - Mothering Forums
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 08:08 AM - Thread Starter
 
azyre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 570
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD is 2.5, (officially in 2 days ) and I have been fortunate that despite being a vocarious comfort nurser, I haven't felt the need to made any parent led changes to the relationship, because it's always worked well for both of us ... she can go long periods without or she will feed frequently, I am often refused when I offer (like when I want her to sit still for awhile) and now and then I get away with the odd refusal myself She has been frequently sleeping through the night for about 6 months now, has the occasional night time feed, but we're old pros and that's no hardship.

Anyway, my question for those of you who have had a similar kind of pattern, I'm curious about what happened with regards to feeding to sleep as your nursling got older? Did falling asleep without feeding come before weaning or did it signal the start of the end? Do you think that feeding to sleep extends or "protects" the length of breastfeeding?
azyre is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 11:47 AM
 
UrbanPlanter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: at work
Posts: 5,507
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not there yet, but it seems to be starting for us (ds is 42mo).

I think nursing to sleep or nursing to wake up (or both) are the last to go in the nursing relationship. Maybe nursing to wake up is the last to go... anyway, ds is starting to nurse, and then will fall asleep listening to music instead of nursing. Most of the time he nurses to sleep, but this new trend of falling asleep to music is encouraging!

I guess that as kids get older they are fine with just being read to to fall asleep, or have their backs rubbed, or listen to music... I don't know. I'm on this thread to find out, too!
UrbanPlanter is offline  
#3 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 11:50 AM
 
katiecat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Ontario
Posts: 651
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
For us it works this way:

If I am around, ds nurses before going to sleep. For nap he pretty much always nurses right to sleep. At night he nurses then pulls off and rolls over and goes to sleep.

If I am not around ds doesn't nurse to sleep (obviously) and goes to sleep easily for whoever is there.

It's been like that for well over a year now. It works well for us. And I think ds will be nursing for quite a while to come.

Allison
ds 5/8/02

Allison, mom to ds born May 2002
katiecat is offline  
 
#4 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 11:55 AM
 
LavenderMae's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: where I write my own posts!
Posts: 12,213
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My son (he's 4) nurses to sleep and most days when he wakes. He has gone to sleep w/o nursing a few times but it's not the norm.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
LavenderMae is offline  
#5 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 01:27 PM
 
TiredX2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: it appears to be a handbasket
Posts: 19,789
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD's last nursing to go was nursing to sleep. BUT, she started skipping days a few months before she weaned.

DS can go to sleep after (or without on very rare occasions) nursing but he still gnerally nurses to sleep (he is newly four).

 

 

TiredX2 is offline  
#6 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 07:54 PM
 
velcromom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: N. Ca Sierra Nevada
Posts: 4,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My ds (will be three in Dec.) nurses to sleep at bedtime but not at naptimes anymore. He sort of accidentally phased himself out of naptime nursing by going thru a few months where he just didn't nap, so that nursing session was effectively dropped, and when he began to show signs of needing to resume that nap, he didn't need to nurse to sleep with it.

Since his bedtime nursing is the primary nursing session he has left (sometimes nurses during the day, sometimes not) I expect he will keep it up for quite some time and the last phase of his nursing career will be a mere 5-10 min. a day.

I do sometimes wonder, if I hadn't caught on to the POV of using nursing to sleep as a tool, and if we had discouraged it, how it would have affected his timetable with dropping nursing sessions... he is still very interested in nursing, just less often so I suspect perhaps he would have made up for it by dropping fewer day sessions if I hadn't been willing to nurse him to sleep.
velcromom is offline  
#7 of 21 Old 09-30-2005, 08:42 PM
 
ceilydhmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DD is still going strong nursing 2-3 times a day and has had that pattern for about 12-18 mos now!

At bedtime she rarely nurses to sleep but does nurse last thing before bed the dh tucks her in. For naps she nurses to sleep. she seems to be giving up naps though and is giving up that nursing. She usually nurses when she wakes but there are days where she gets going too quickly to bother.

I have no idea when she will wean. I thought she was close over a year ago
ceilydhmama is offline  
#8 of 21 Old 10-01-2005, 11:24 AM
 
SagMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 4,939
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
All my kids dropped the bedtime nursing session last. First, they'd nurse to sleep. Then after a while, they'd nurse but not fall asleep at the breast, just roll over and snuggle to sleep. From there, there were nights when they'd fall asleep without nursing at all. They moved back and forth a bit between these scenarios until they weaned totally.

Single Mom to 3 (12, 17 & 21)  luxlove.gif and dog2.gif.

SagMom is offline  
#9 of 21 Old 10-01-2005, 12:07 PM
 
stafl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: standing in a doorway
Posts: 9,119
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
the only time my 4.5 year-old nurses is right before bedtime (not every night, usually once every week or two at this point) or if she's sick.
stafl is offline  
#10 of 21 Old 10-01-2005, 12:23 PM
 
Mallory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Wesley, AR
Posts: 2,567
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
All my kids dropped the bedtime nursing session last. First, they'd nurse to sleep. Then after a while, they'd nurse but not fall asleep at the breast, just roll over and snuggle to sleep. From there, there were nights when they'd fall asleep without nursing at all. They moved back and forth a bit between these scenarios until they weaned totally.
Us too!

They both nursed to sleep well past 3, then would sometimes stop nursing and snuggle to actually fall asleep, but that bedtime session went until the end. My 4 1/2 year old still nurses at night 2-4 times a week but rarely until he falls asleep. The shortness of his sessions probably has something to do with me being pregnant, although the pattern has been very similar to when his brother weaned.

I think it signals the start of the end, although that last nursing can hang on for a year or so
Mallory is offline  
#11 of 21 Old 10-01-2005, 12:37 PM
 
velcromom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: N. Ca Sierra Nevada
Posts: 4,977
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ds too gradually stopped falling asleep at the breast, sometime around 18 months it started in earnest and now he goes into his bed awake unless he's really tired and passes out before then,lol. I should have clarified that before, we still say he nurses to sleep but technically, he just nurses at bedtime now.
velcromom is offline  
#12 of 21 Old 10-01-2005, 05:45 PM
 
hummingbear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 1,009
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 4 yr old son still nurses to sleep so I can't quite answer the question asked. But he has shifted into nursing and then rollling over to go to sleep some of the time. I think we will have a long gradual transition into falling asleep by himself.
hummingbear is offline  
#13 of 21 Old 10-02-2005, 01:19 AM
 
annethcz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: on the beautiful prairie of MN
Posts: 9,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 3.5 yo DD sounds a lot like your DD. For at least the past year, if not longer, she sometimes goes to sleep without nursing. I do generally nurse her to sleep if I'm home, but if I'm out for the night, she goes to sleep easily without me. And as she has grown, she often times nurses before bed, but doesn't nurse to sleep.

In our case, I do consider going to bed without nursing a step in the weaning process. BUT she shows no signs of weaning anytime soon.

New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
annethcz is offline  
#14 of 21 Old 10-02-2005, 03:15 AM
 
InochiZo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: NWxSE
Posts: 1,684
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My story is a little different. I wish DS fell asleep to nursing. He usually goes back to sleep in the middle of the night with nursing, but for some reason I can not get DS to sleep at night. DH has to bounce him (at 18 mo) almost everynight. We had a short time (2 mo or so) when DS fell asleep to nursing everynight. My little sleep fighter. I am always so jealous of those who can peacefully nurse to sleep. I never understand those who complain about nursing to sleep. It is much harder for us to get DS to sleep. He loves nursing at night and the early morning. He always gets a nursing before bed in hopes that he'll fall asleep but it rarely happens. He would be really mad if I didn't follow the night time routine and nurse him cause he really loves his "nee nees." Who knows maybe he'll start putting him self to sleep sooner cause he doesn't nurse to sleep except in the middle of the night.
InochiZo is offline  
#15 of 21 Old 10-02-2005, 03:51 AM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm not sure we've followed roughly the same pattern... It was complicated somewhat by a pregnancy and birth (when dd was 3.5), and dd was always a super avid nurser, except when I was dry, and even then she remained quite the trooper. I had nursing aversion/pain issues with pregnancy, so I got dd to start falling asleep with me by lying on her stomach, after unlatching from a short nursing. At your dd's age, she was still waking and nursing a few times a night.

Also, it's important to keep in mind that we follow a completely scheduleless, sleep-when-you're-tired pattern, so nursing is not part of a fixed bedtime routine.

Anyway, I would say that dd nurses to sleep maybe 1/2 of the time, right now. It is one of the things she may do, when she's tired, effectively to get herself to sleep. (Although she would rarely come out and say, "I'm tired, I want to go to bed," she can sort of see the handwriting on the wall and knows she needs to brush her teeth before starting to nurse or read or whatever.) She's experimented with lying down in bed and trying to just fall asleep on purpose, but still finds it hard. On the nights when she doesn't nurse to sleep, she often does something like what she did tonight: nestle herself in the big comfy nursing rocker/recliner with a book, and "read"/storytell quietly to herself, until suddenly I look over and realize she's asleep. Occasionally, she will simply come to bed, or stop nursing and cuddle to sleep.

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
#16 of 21 Old 10-02-2005, 02:18 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 43,705
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 17 Post(s)
We have nursing as part of our nighttime routine- he used to fall asleep nursing almost all the time, but once in a while he'd nurse, then stop nursing and snuggle to sleep (or curl up by himself but next to me and go to sleep.) Over time, I've found he snuggled to sleep without nursing more and nursed to sleep less. I imagine he'll still want to snuggle even after he's weaned (his big sisters do!)

Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
Ruthla is offline  
#17 of 21 Old 10-13-2005, 06:36 PM
 
Girl Named Sandoz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: On the road to Mandalay...
Posts: 1,538
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DS is 3 and he has just now started falling asleep on his own.

He needed to nurse to sleep until recently though - and I do mean *needed* - I have been told many times that Gina Ford or the Baby Whisperer would have been able to 'train' my ds to not need the boobie to fall asleep but 1) I am not into training and 2) they obviously do NOT know my son. LOL! You cannot make him do something he doesn't want to do, no way, no how.
Girl Named Sandoz is offline  
#18 of 21 Old 10-13-2005, 07:19 PM
 
folkymom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central Coast, California
Posts: 184
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dd nursed to sleep until she was just about 5, when she self-night-weaned, but she still nursed 4-5 times a day for another 2+ years (self-weaned at 7 years 4 months). My ds, who is almost 4, nurses to sleep about 4 times a week still, but he seems to be giving up naps, and so some nights he's so tired he just falls asleep wherever he happens to be, no nursing, no jammies, no nothing. :LOL He's only nursing about twice a day at this point, but I expect that will increase a bit when this new baby is born and I have an abundance of milk again.

(edited due to pregnancy-brain-bad-grammar )

Kelli, radical unschooling mama to four beautiful homebirthed lovies (ages 14, 9, 5, and 19 months) 
folkymom is offline  
#19 of 21 Old 10-13-2005, 08:54 PM
 
lechepatito's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I woh, so my DD never nursed to sleep for naps except on weekends - after about 10 mos or so, DH (a sahd) said she didn't "nurse" the bottle to sleep either. At night, she nursed to sleep every night until I got pg right around her 3rd birthday. My nipples were so sore that I had to limit her time at the breast - so we transitioned to nursing, then snuggling to sleep. 1.5 years later, she's still doing that, and still an avid nurser - when I'm home during the day, she nurses 5-6x/day, and she's 4.5 yo.
lechepatito is offline  
#20 of 21 Old 10-13-2005, 09:50 PM
 
hummingbear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 1,009
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by eternal_grace
2) they obviously do NOT know my son. LOL! You cannot make him do something he doesn't want to do, no way, no how.
:
hummingbear is offline  
#21 of 21 Old 10-13-2005, 11:07 PM
 
hottmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
Posts: 5,203
Mentioned: 3 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My 32 mo. old son still nurses to sleep for naps (but doesn't nap every day) but at night he often falls asleep without nursing.
hottmama is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 4,498

5 members and 4,493 guests
invastol62 , K703 , kathymuggle , lauritagoddess
Most users ever online was 21,860, 06-22-2018 at 09:45 PM.