Advice for Mainstream family... - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 09:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Dd is 22 months old and we are CLW. I am very comfortable w/ nursing her at this age and NIP as well. I am going on a trip to my parents' this up coming weekend and my two aunts will be there. They are both in nursing and VERY opinionated and such w/ anything nutritional and medical. I am sure that they are going to get on my case for nursing her at this age, eventhough I know that nutritionally speaking it is important to nurse for 2 years. In our situation dd doesn't take any other form of milk (cow/soy/rice, etc.) on a regular basis-just occasionally soy.

I am looking for some advice on how to broach the subject when it comes up. Thanks...

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#2 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 11:17 AM
 
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Well, you can try to educate your family, maybe bring some printed material from www.kellymom.com about extended nursing. You can just say something like, "This works for our family." If they continue to bug you, say something like, "This works for our family, and I will not discuss it anymore."

It's hard when you don't have support of your family. I hope you have a good trip!
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#3 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 11:19 AM
 
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Thank you for your opinion. Please pass the bean dip.

or

Why would I give her the breastmilk of another species when she can have mine? Pass the bean dip please.

If they pursue it, just tell them its not up for discussion, and if they're interested you'll send them some information when you get home...

Easier said than done, I know. Good luck!
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#4 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 05:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice. I like the, "Thanks for your opinion...pass the bean dip." I really don't want to get into a heated discussion w/ all the facts, etc. Telling them if they would like more info after I get home sounds like an easy plan. Hopefully it'll go well.

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#5 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 08:28 PM
 
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Honestly I would look at them as if they are just as uneducated as they are... offer to send the info if you'd like, but I would put THEM on the defensive. Why would I take away a perfect food and replace it with a substandard one?

-Angela
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#6 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 09:59 PM
 
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i say those sorts of things, too, and i make sure i have this big smile pasted on my face as i do.
the other thing i say, if they keep pressing, is, "the worldwide average age for weaning is 4.2 years" and when they say "really??" i say "yes, and it's so-called developed countries such as ours and the UK that bring that average DOWN by weaning our children at such young ages".
for some reason, it usually shuts them up. i always say that with a big pasted smile, too.

pass the bean dip!!

good luck!
pamela

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#7 of 16 Old 03-20-2006, 10:12 PM
 
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Them: "You're *still* nursing?! You know they don't need it at that age, don't you?"

You: "Really? I'd love to see the study on that if you have time to send it to me."

They're nurses they should know about properly done studies verses hearsay and if they don't they need to learn. Don't defend your position, take advantage of their medical background and make them defend theirs.
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#8 of 16 Old 03-21-2006, 01:06 AM
 
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I'd just like to add that if such a conversation comes up around your DC, you might want to make it a point to talk to her later and tell her that she can nurse as long as she wants to. My DD is 27 months and I know that she picks up on things more than I realize. We've had to have that conversation before. She told me once taht "grandma says no "jug juice" I told her that she can have jug juice for as long as she wants to and she just grinned at me.
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#9 of 16 Old 03-21-2006, 01:12 PM
 
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Sapphire,
I love it!! Fortunately I don't foresee a time when I would need to use this tact but it is brilliant!!

"Really? I'd love to see the study on that if you have time to send it to me."

Followed by "Pass the bean dip".

~Cath
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#10 of 16 Old 03-21-2006, 03:00 PM
 
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What about acting shocked and asking how as "professionals" they are unaware of the stance of both the WHO and AAP and of the benefits of breastfeeding. Then hint that maybe they need to do some research or take a class.

Mom to Eoin (11/02), Eilis (09/04), Eamon (07/07), and Ellery (04/10)
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#11 of 16 Old 03-21-2006, 03:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boheime
What about acting shocked and asking how as "professionals" they are unaware of the stance of both the WHO and AAP and of the benefits of breastfeeding. Then hint that maybe they need to do some research or take a class.
I like this one IIRC, the American Academy of Family Physicians also advocates a two-year minimum.

Do unto children as you would have them do unto you ::
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#12 of 16 Old 03-22-2006, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks again mamas for all the advice and comments. I am hoping that this isn't an issue at all. However, now I feel more confident going into the situation.

Gosh-I really hope that my parents will be serving bean dip

Beth, Mama to dd , wife to dh , teacher :~ Living, Loving, Learning...everyday.
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#13 of 16 Old 03-22-2006, 09:36 PM
 
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I have family that is very interested in my and dd's bfing relationship. I've always been very polite but to the point. Examples: they ask how long I'm going to nurse her, I tell them until she stops or goes to college. Or if they comment on how they can't believe I'm still bfing, I state the WHO's statement on bfing. On the times that I've been given weaning advice: I very firmly say that what we are currently doing works very well for us. It's worked very well for me, now no one questions me, or least dares mention it to me.

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.
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#14 of 16 Old 03-22-2006, 10:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mother nurture

Gosh-I really hope that my parents will be serving bean dip


Or how about 'pass the chocolate cake please'?

Good luck! I'm sure it'll be fine.
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#15 of 16 Old 03-23-2006, 03:08 PM
 
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A weekend is not too long a period to think of strategies. Just keep on nursing your DD stoically. You might like to consider putting your aunts on a tangent by just mentioning that somehow bf'ing of DD continues and no problems have arisen so far. Further, you might consider to wean if an indication came from her or some problem develops, and that you are expecting her to wean shortly. Remember there is no point in taking ideological positions with those who are elder in relationships.
Hugs and wishing you a happy weekend,
uzra
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#16 of 16 Old 03-23-2006, 03:09 PM
 
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I think I'm going to have to bring bean dip to every family gathering from now on...
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