Nursing Strike or CLW? PLEASE HELP! - Page 2 - Mothering Forums
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#31 of 113 Old 02-15-2007, 01:45 AM
 
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Awwww...mama. I'm glad it's "normal", but so sorry there is no real end in sight. I hope that tooth pops through fast, and he gets back to the good stuff soon!

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#32 of 113 Old 02-15-2007, 03:01 AM
 
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ugh. glad to hear it's not a problem, but geesh. wish they could've done something for him! hang in there and keep us posted!
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#33 of 113 Old 02-15-2007, 04:51 PM
 
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i'm glad it was nothing serious! it still sounds painful. maybe when it passes he'll be back to the boob.

Mama to two beautiful sons Wife to DH
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#34 of 113 Old 02-15-2007, 07:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Miles (December 2005) Pascual (March 2009). P's was my beautiful home waterbirth that healed me from my M's birth. natural birth, midwifery, postpartum depression, babywearing, breastfeeding.
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#35 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 02:46 AM
 
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I am very confused. I consider myself an extended breastfeeder, but after a year, I would consider the behavior described to be the quintessence of child-led weaning. Why are so many of you so sure it's just a strike? How can you consider it "just a strike" and also recommend witholding other foods and beverages to make it continue, and still think that you're "child-led?"
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#36 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 02:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Shakti A. View Post
I am very confused. I consider myself an extended breastfeeder, but after a year, I would consider the behavior described to be the quintessence of child-led weaning. Why are so many of you so sure it's just a strike? How can you consider it "just a strike" and also recommend witholding other foods and beverages to make it continue, and still think that you're "child-led?"
Humans need to nurse for a minimum of two years- not one. I would consider any stopping of nursing before 18 months to be a strike without a doubt.

-Angela
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#37 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 02:53 AM
 
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My DS nursed until 3, and at 2 my DD is going strong, but I still would never have manipulated either into continuing past a year if they chose. I find the withholding of water or solid food from a toddler in order to PREVENT child-led weaning to be simply shocking.
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#38 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 02:56 AM
 
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My DS nursed until 3, and at 2 my DD is going strong, but I still would never have manipulated either into continuing past a year if they chose. I find the withholding of water or solid food from a toddler in order to PREVENT child-led weaning to be simply shocking.
It sounds to me like you are not familiar with a nursing strike or premature weaning. Here's a good link for you:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/...st.html#strike

-Angela
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#39 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 02:59 AM
 
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That link is about babies, not toddlers. I don't see the relevance.
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#40 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 03:02 AM
 
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When babies abruptly stop nursing, it's a nursing strike - not weaning. Babies rarely wean on their own before 18-24 months, and self-weaning is almost never abrupt.
Bolding mine. You'll also notice that the OP stated that this was *abrupt*

Classic nursing strike.

-Angela
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#41 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 03:06 AM
 
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Classic nursing strike.
I agree.

Change of medication can cause changes in milk.

As he won't drink the EBM either it sounds to me like it is affecting the taste and he doesn't like it.

As you did change the meds back I would keep offering. It might take a bit for the meds to get out of your system.

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#42 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 03:36 AM
 
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The thing that bothers me is not how old the toddler is (presuming over a year), or how abrupt, it's that you (perhaps not you personally) can advocate withholding other sources of nutrition in order to manipulate a toddler to continue to nurse. As I said, I'm an extended breastfeeder, but to manipulate a toddler that way, to starve them into continued nursing when the child thinks they're ready to give it up, frankly, that strikes me as abusive.
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#43 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 03:37 AM
 
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The thing that bothers me is not how old the toddler is (presuming over a year), or how abrupt, it's that you (perhaps not you personally) can advocate withholding other sources of nutrition in order to manipulate a toddler to continue to nurse. As I said, I'm an extended breastfeeder, but to manipulate a toddler that way, to starve them into continued nursing when the child thinks they're ready to give it up, frankly, that strikes me as abusive.
I'm sorry you see it that way.

No one said anything about starving. I did mention not spoon feeding him (rather letting him self-feed)- a good idea for babies and toddlers anyway.

-Angela
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#44 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 03:44 AM
 
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The thing that bothers me is not how old the toddler is (presuming over a year), or how abrupt, it's that you (perhaps not you personally) can advocate withholding other sources of nutrition in order to manipulate a toddler to continue to nurse. As I said, I'm an extended breastfeeder, but to manipulate a toddler that way, to starve them into continued nursing when the child thinks they're ready to give it up, frankly, that strikes me as abusive.
No one advised her to withhold food and water if he won't nurse. Try rereading the posts. No one said that.

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#45 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:02 AM
 
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You're right: the suggestions were "NO other sucking- no sippy cups, bottles, pacifiers. No other milk... personally I would cut back a bit on solids...."

To me, cutting BACK on solids to get a kid -- a toddler kid, not a baby -- over a "nursing strike" is ignoring the child's need for greater independence to serve the parent's need. That's not child-led weaning, nor is it attachment parenting. It is antithetical to the entire point of AP, as a matter of fact.
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#46 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:08 AM
 
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You're right: the suggestions were "NO other sucking- no sippy cups, bottles, pacifiers. No other milk... personally I would cut back a bit on solids...."

To me, cutting BACK on solids to get a kid -- a toddler kid, not a baby -- over a "nursing strike" is ignoring the child's need for greater independence to serve the parent's need. That's not child-led weaning, nor is it attachment parenting. It is antithetical to the entire point of AP, as a matter of fact.
Right- no reduction in fluids- simply not meeting the sucking need in any other way.

No other milk- well a nursing toddler doesn't need any other milk anyway.

I said that *personally* I would cut back "a BIT" on solids. At 13 months my dd was eating MAYBE 3 tablespoons of solids a day.

It has nothing to do with needing independence. At only 13 months they NEED breastmilk. It is important for their immune system, nutrition, many many things.

I think that you underestimate the importance of breastfeeding in the second year.

-Angela
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#47 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:12 AM
 
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You're right: the suggestions were "NO other sucking- no sippy cups, bottles, pacifiers. No other milk... personally I would cut back a bit on solids...."

To me, cutting BACK on solids to get a kid -- a toddler kid, not a baby -- over a "nursing strike" is ignoring the child's need for greater independence to serve the parent's need. That's not child-led weaning, nor is it attachment parenting. It is antithetical to the entire point of AP, as a matter of fact.
Suckeling is a large source of comfort and what she is suggesting is to cut back on other things which may provide some of that comfort or act as an alternative to the breast as far as the sucking need goes.

This would associate suckeling MORE with the breast as opposed to an alternative like a pacifier.

She recommended MORE self feeding not less feeding in general. The OP's child is very picky and doesn't eat many solids certainly not enough solids to wean.

At 13 months my dd couldn't care less about solids. They were just things to smear. She wasn't interested.

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#48 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:19 AM
 
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Yeah, well, you probably missed the window that appears somewhere between four and thirteen months, for willingness to experiment with textures and flavors.
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#49 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:21 AM
 
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Yeah, well, you probably missed the window that appears somewhere between four and thirteen months, for willingness to experiment with textures and flavors.
Um, no she was offered food, she just didn't want to eat it.

The AAP doesn't recommend solids until six months.

Also, allergies run in my family, I am allergic to all dairy, other family members are allergic to various things.

Babies who are pre-disposed to allergies are more likely to reject food as they instinctively know when food too early may cause allergies.

DD was offered low allergen foods, she just wasn't ready. Now she eats a wide variety of foods and has no sign of allergies.

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#50 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:33 AM
 
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You are absolutely correct. Nowhere did I advocate solids before six months, but you're right. A family history of food allergies changes everything. But the mom trying to decide between weaning and strike didn't so much mention that issue.

Here's my take, I'm an AP mama. WHY am I an AP mama? Because firm attachment to one or more primary caretakers is supposed to make children more secure when facing the rest of the world -- it's giving them roots, so they can grow wings; giving them the foundation they need to succeed in the world. I strongly believe in AP. But what I've seen in the short time I've been here, is people crippling their children, rather than enabling them, and I'm not comfortable with that, although this seemed my sort of place.
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#51 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:40 AM
 
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You are absolutely correct. Nowhere did I advocate solids before six months, but you're right. A family history of food allergies changes everything. But the mom trying to decide between weaning and strike didn't so much mention that issue.

Here's my take, I'm an AP mama. WHY am I an AP mama? Because firm attachment to one or more primary caretakers is supposed to make children more secure when facing the rest of the world -- it's giving them roots, so they can grow wings; giving them the foundation they need to succeed in the world. I strongly believe in AP. But what I've seen in the short time I've been here, is people crippling their children, rather than enabling them, and I'm not comfortable with that, although this seemed my sort of place.
But she did mention that her child is a very picky eater and to me that is a concern.

Of course people recommend helping their children become more independant and AP is a large part of that.

IMO, rejecting the breast AND EBM at the same time she changed meds implies that the meds are affecting the taste of her milk. Different foods can cause this as well as hormonal changes.

For instance whenever I ate curry dd was all over me, curry bm made her crazy, I would just be cooking it and she would get a wild look in her eye.

Babies do get irritated or annoyed when their BM isn't just how they like it. IMO, as her child doesn't eat many solids they aren't ready to wean. Also, her child is having a problem with a tooth which can definately affect BF.

No one wants to force a child who is ready to wean to nurse. From what she has said, it doesn't seem as if her child is ready to wean but that this is a strike.

All the advice on this thread is going off of her feelings and the information she provided, that this is a strike and not a readiness to wean.

If a child is ready to wean NOTHING will make them nurse.

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#52 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:56 AM
 
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For instance whenever I ate curry dd was all over me, curry bm made her crazy, I would just be cooking it and she would get a wild look in her eye.

Maybe she wanted the curry!
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#53 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:57 AM
 
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For instance whenever I ate curry dd was all over me, curry bm made her crazy, I would just be cooking it and she would get a wild look in her eye.

Maybe she wanted the curry!
Curry is too spicy for babies. : She did that as a baby. It was just an example of things affecting the taste of bm.

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#54 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 09:55 AM
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Curry is most definitely NOT too spicy for babies! My baby (and now toddler) eats exactly the same things we do, including the spicy stuff. Sure, I usually tone down the heat a bit for her with some cream or something, but in cultures which eat lots of spicy foods, the babies get fed the same things adults eat.
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#55 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 11:01 AM
 
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Yeah, well, you probably missed the window that appears somewhere between four and thirteen months, for willingness to experiment with textures and flavors.
You're kidding, right?

-Angela
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#56 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 11:51 AM
 
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I still remember the look my daughter gave me the last time I tried to nurse her at about a year. She literally pushed me away- with both hands and a very determined look. She's 18 now and not much I can do about it.
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#57 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:33 PM
 
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[censored]

any update on the little guy? how's his tooth? has it broken through yet? any luck on getting him to drink the EBM or getting back to the breast?
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#58 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 04:34 PM
 
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I am very confused. I consider myself an extended breastfeeder, but after a year, I would consider the behavior described to be the quintessence of child-led weaning.
When a baby under 2 years of age stops nursing because of teething pain, mom's change in medication, pacifier use, illness (just to name a few common reasons for nursing strikes)... it's not child-led weaning. The best thing mom could do for a baby in that situation is to try to get baby back to breast.

The belief that a one-year-old wants to be independent and doesn't need to breastfeed is a commonly held misconception. Your average 13 mo doesn't eat enough solid food, with a varied enough diet to get adequate nutrition--they do not even completely break down most solid food yet.
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#59 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 05:39 PM
 
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They do not even completely break down most solid food yet
I have never heard this before. Where can I find more information about that?
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#60 of 113 Old 02-17-2007, 05:40 PM
 
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YOu can see that by looking in their diaper. ICK!

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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