I took N to the doctor last week, (not his regular doctor, who is super laid back) and when she asked how long I was planning on nursing him I replied "well, that's really up to him." and she gave me a long look and said "you do know he'll never chose to stop, right?" and I don't remember what I said, something tactful, but what I wanted to say was "yeah, I'm sure he'll still be nursing at 32 if I don't stop him now!"
but there is a little part of me that thinks she's right. not that he'll never stop, but that he'll never stop wanting to nurse. That what will stop him will be the ignorance and cruelty of society, rather than his own readiness. Much like the time I painted his toenails (at his request) and sent him to daycare, where he was shamed into never wanting his toenails painted again, I'm afraid that, in the end, not weaning him myself will result in society weaning him in a much less kind manner. I don't want his last memories of nursing to be filled with shame.
Sigh. Come blow some sunshine up my ass, please.