Can we discuss NIP your older nursling? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 43 Old 10-04-2007, 08:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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My dds are 3.5 years old and 22 months old. I do NIP, but there are places where I try to avoid tandem NIP, partly because it's hard to get comfortable and partly because I don't like showing my belly to one and all...it seems like a bit of a spectacle for me to tandem NIP (I usually try to get dd1 to wait until dd2 is finished in these situations). I also find that I am sometimes a bit concerned about peoples' reactions to nursing a 3.5 y.o. Dh's coworker paled and switched conversations when she heard I was nursing dd2 at 18 months! I forget how off the norm we are sometimes.

So...I do NIP with both of them, but I do sometimes ask dd1 to wait a bit. Another thing I do is that if I'm with someone else's kids I don't know well, like kids we've just met at the playground or library, I make sure to NIP near the parents or out in public, so that if they are offended on behalf of their children, they are free to move their children (I know...strange thought...but I'd rather be on the safe side here).

I've never gotten anything but positive reaction (if any) about NIP (other than a woman who was surprised at the clothes store and a heavily medicated woman at the hfs who suggested the bathroom, in a sweet way)...and even got a huge smile from a man in NYC as I was latching on dd2 in her sling last week!

I'd love to hear how other people deal with all of this.
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#2 of 43 Old 10-04-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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I won't tandem in public anymore, but when I did I wore nursing shirts, the type with a slit over each breast, in order to keep a bit of privacy. DD is 4.5 now, and while she is showing no signs of letting up on nursing in general, we've talked a bit about not nursing in public. The conversations started because tandem nursing does frequently show so much, so I talked to her about privacy and not letting people we don't know see our breasts. If she gets hurt or otherwise seems to really need to nurse, I will still NIP, but that is very rare, usually now she can be comforted in other ways. I was comfortable nursing her anywhere until she was 3, after that we've slowly limited the places we'll nurse. In our area nursing a baby in not the norm, nursing a toddler is rare, but I'm not worried about social services being called, but nursing a child who looks like she might be old enough to be in school, I'm cautious about that around people we don't know.

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#3 of 43 Old 10-04-2007, 12:04 PM
 
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I've only got one so far, but I do still NIP. Most recent was at a restaurant after a long day with no nap.

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#4 of 43 Old 10-04-2007, 12:06 PM
 
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I NIP in some places, not so much in others. Depends on how comfortable I feel. Mostly I say no to NIP, but I'll do it to enjoy a peaceful time hanging out with my friends at the activist-frequented pub in town. People are pretty cool, nobody stares, and the little one is quiet so I can actually have some adult social interaction!
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#5 of 43 Old 10-06-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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I never did TNIP, but did NIP until around age 3. I probably would still NIP if DS was really tired/sick/hurt, but it just hasn't come up because he doesn't ask to nurse much while we're out - mostly at home on the couch, naptime/bedtime/owies.

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#6 of 43 Old 10-07-2007, 07:27 PM
 
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Like others it depends on how I'm feeling (what I'm wearing--I'm daring to wear some NIP-unfriendly things finally!) and what the place is. It also depends on how flustered my nursling is. If he's really upset he'll thrash around and pull my shirt up and such. Those times I head for somewhere more private. If he's just sleepy and snuggly I'll still NIP no problem.

Nobody has ever said boo about it and if they'e giving odd looks I must not be paying attention properly. The only person who has been shocked upon learning about his still nursing was my former OB who even while shocked didn't dare say anything about it while sitting under his pro-BF poster.
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#7 of 43 Old 10-07-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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I nursed my older nursling in public frequently until about 3.5, when my oldest son, by mutual agreement, cut back to only nursing 2-3 times a day, so usually it wasn't in public. Since about 4 he's been nursing only once a day and never in public, but if he was really hurt (like broken bone or something) I'd NIP without a second thought. He just doesn't need to nurse much anymore-- he does it to connect and relax, not to soothe his hurts or to get to sleep or for it's food/drink value.
My little guy isn't even 2 so I NIP with him all the time.
I tandem nursed in public a few times when my little guy was small and my biggest was only 3, and it was sure a spectacle! I had my shirt up past my boobs.
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#8 of 43 Old 10-09-2007, 06:49 PM
 
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I've only got one but he is 23 months and we still NIP. We were on a hike a week and a half ago and he was quite unhappy when I asked him to wait a couple of minutes until there was somewhere to sit. The funnest part is when he asks to ride in the cart while shopping and then pulls up my shirt while I am pushing the cart

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#9 of 43 Old 10-11-2007, 03:29 PM
 
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This may be weird, but I'm more comfortable NIP than I am nursing around my friends that don't have kids. I dunno why.


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#10 of 43 Old 10-11-2007, 05:13 PM
 
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We nip at the park and other places if we arent in a hurry. I actually figured out how to nurse DD in a shopping cart after reading how someone else here did it

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#11 of 43 Old 10-12-2007, 02:45 PM
 
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I do depending on the situation. We often have very long days out of town running errands. It is not always possible to wait till we get home for me or her.
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#12 of 43 Old 10-12-2007, 03:01 PM
 
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I said when once DD turned one I wasn´t going to be NIP anymore. (she is EASILY distracted and insists on having them both out at the same time...she goes back an forth) But that is easier said than done. If we are out for long periods of time, I don´t deny her. But when she is kept busy, itś not usually an issue. I try to find a comfy, quiet place or I go out to my big comfy truck. My main concern isn´t so much flashing my boobs, but my stomach. I´m self conscious of that. And when I´m nursing DD wants full access. I try to avoid it mainly for my own comfort.

People freak out when they hear I´m ¨still doing that¨ She just turned one on September 24th. It´s like once they hit that magic one year mark they are all of a sudden too old.
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#13 of 43 Old 10-12-2007, 04:09 PM
 
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We still nurse in public, though Maya rarely asks anymore.

I don't know if I'd be able to tandem, though, because of the more obvious nature of it.

Since Maya's such a big kid (4+) I am quite sure that many people who see us nursing assume she's just snuggling up in my lap.

I definitely say no to the "reaching over to the other breast and twiddling" nonsense when in public, though.

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#14 of 43 Old 10-13-2007, 07:47 PM
 
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I still nurse my 17 month old in public but I stopped NIP my 3.5 year old around age two. I was at thanksgiving dinner recently nursing my DS (18 months) and my BIL made comments to his wife across the room that he thought I couldn't hear (something about whipping out "that thing") I never use a blanket but never, ever show any breast. My babies head, my shirt cover everything. Still boiling about it... Anyway.... I will probably keep NIP till age 2 again-then limit to home after.
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#15 of 43 Old 10-13-2007, 11:18 PM
 
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dd-2.5 NIP daily -several times as we are out & about for extended periods.
She's nearly 3 foot tall !!! and looks @ 4years old.As a pp mentioned i think many people assume she is snuggling on my lap.
Outside she's got the no uncovering/twindling #2 as she calls "her"down...
but when we are at home or someone elses she loses all restraint...Go Figure...
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#16 of 43 Old 10-14-2007, 01:05 AM
 
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I NIP just about anywhere. Well, besides church. I just don't feel comfortable nursing in the sactuary. But I will go upstairs and nurse in a room that has the TV in there with the service being played. There are often other mothers and fathers in there and I have no problem doing it in there.

But at parks, stores, or resturants, sure.

The only time I wouldn't in those situations is sometimes I get some creep that won't stop staring so we usually get up and leave and I do it in my car or outside in some grass.

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#17 of 43 Old 10-14-2007, 12:15 PM
 
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I nurse my children anywhere they need to nurse (except the bathroom!!!). They are 5 and 2. I nursed Z in public when he was 6. For us, it's a normal part of life and I really don't give it much thought- my child has a need, and I meet it.
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#18 of 43 Old 10-15-2007, 07:34 PM
 
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I only have 1 DC, he's 30 months. I NIP anywhere, except when we're visiting certain relatives, in which case we go find an empty room where they won't notice. I do this mostly to shield DS because these relatives unfortunately can be very nasty and I don't want DS to be exposed to any bad nursing vibes from his family. Thankfully, we don't see them that often, so it's not that big of an issue.

I still feel very comfortable NIP, it's ironic that I can nurse my big toddler on crowded bus and no one bats an eye, but my mom and my aunts
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#19 of 43 Old 10-17-2007, 04:58 PM
 
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My DS (4 years & 10 months) has stopped NIP and even if others are around at home. Nut I have to sometime tandem NIP DD#1 (3.5 years) with DD#2 (8.5 months). Care to be taken on such occasions depends on where we are. I try to avoid tandem NIP at places where rank outsiders are present (only DD #2 is nursed under the Burqa (veil). But if only known women and very little children are around, say, at somebody's place or in a separate enclosure, there is no need to worry about NIP, especially if some other women are doing it. In our community and culture womenfolk do not hesitate to show their body parts among themselves, a la at community baths or in a relation's inner courtyard. We may even talk about size and shape of each others' breasts, brassiers, breastfeeding issues etc. on such occasions.
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#20 of 43 Old 10-17-2007, 07:00 PM
 
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I don't really consider my daughter an older nursling, because she's only 25 months, but by US standards she is. We NIP when she needs it but I don't offer in public and haven't in a long time. It's not because of any objection or embarassment. More because it's a time suck, so to speak! So we only do it when she really needs it.
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#21 of 43 Old 10-19-2007, 01:27 AM
 
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DD1 was close to 3 when I stopped NIP for the most part. I would certain places, but mostly it was just more comfy to nurse in the car before going in somewhere when finding a chair that would be comfy.

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#22 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 02:14 AM
 
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I NIP DD, 19 months, where/whenever. NIPed walking out to meet the mailman today & got a nice smile.

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#23 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 11:45 AM
 
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My dd is only 10 mo. old, but we got so many comments from friends and family when we took her along on our anniversary celebration at a B&B because she is still nursing several times a night. My MIL stopped nursing her boys at 9 mo. so the expectation is that we will wean any day now. Not so! We are still nursing about 9x / 24hr period. We are starting to get stares when NIP because she is "so old". I live in a community where nursing is rare, and even more so after 6 mo. Sigh, oh well. Thanks for being an inspiration to me, and for making me feel more "normal".
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#24 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 12:06 PM
 
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I occassionally NIP with my 28-month-old, but not often. He likes to play with my other breast while nursing on the other, meaning he often has my shirt pulled all the way up and I just don't like that in public. We don't really go out too often, but if he did need it I would still nurse him. Places like the library where I feel very comfortable I will nurse him more readily than say, the bank lobby.

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#25 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 12:29 PM
 
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DD just turned 4 and I don't NIP that often anymore. We used to All The Time, but lately she doesn't nurse that often during the day anymore so it doesn't come up much, and she's so big that I do worry about people's reactions (don't feel good about worrying, but I have no desire to get into a thing with her about why people don't like it, or why they care).

That said, she was melting down at the playground yesterday and clearly said that the only way she'd be able to go back to using her 'regular voice' was if she got some nummo, so we plopped down in the grass and did it up. It only took her about 30 seconds on each side and she was fine. There was no one at the playground, and I made sure my back was to the people sitting in the pavilion across the grass. I don't know how I would have handled it if there had been lots of people around. Probably the same way – I couldn't refuse her when she was so clear and reasonable about what she needed.
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#26 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 01:00 PM
 
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My daughter is 3 years old and nursing heartily. We don't really NIP anymore. If she needs it we nurse right away, but if she can wait a few minutes, we find a quiet spot to do it. I do LOVE to see other moms NIP - at any age though - and give them huge positive reactions to try and encourage this totally normal and appropriate act!

We only have one friend who is still nursing past 3 (she's a LLL leader like me) but she lives half way across the country. So I want to thank each and everyone of you amazing mamas for giving me reassurance that I am not alone!!! I was so happy to find this thread - sometimes I feel like the only one who nurses a three year old (who shows no signs of weaning anytime soon and I'm not planning to push it at all).

Thanks - I have a huge smile on my face thanks and big hugs to you all.
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#27 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 01:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2toby View Post
This may be weird, but I'm more comfortable NIP than I am nursing around my friends that don't have kids. I dunno why.
Me too (except I don't have any friends with no kids, but I consider acquaintences to fit in this category). Because I don't care one whit what strangers think, and I guess I do care a bit what people I know think, LOL.

We still NIP (26 months) quite often. I only have one; I think I'd be shy about tandeming in public too. DH is actually more comfortable with me NIP now - not because of DD's age but he's just gotten used to it now. I've never gotten a comment or a look. For their sake, I hope nobody does that with DH around! He'll probably take their head off, lol! (Me, I used to think I'd do the same, but now I think I'd just shrug, and quote applicable law if the state I'm in has one - but we'll see).

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#28 of 43 Old 10-23-2007, 09:21 PM
 
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My ds is 1.5, but is a tall boy so he looks 2. I just wonder if I'm going to have CPS called on me. I guess I'm being a worry wart, but couldn't imagine having him taken away for NIP. :

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#29 of 43 Old 10-24-2007, 02:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Susannah M View Post
I've only got one but he is 23 months and we still NIP. We were on a hike a week and a half ago and he was quite unhappy when I asked him to wait a couple of minutes until there was somewhere to sit. The funnest part is when he asks to ride in the cart while shopping and then pulls up my shirt while I am pushing the cart
Yeah, I got quite a look at the grocery store with that one - toddlers are creative! I still nurse in public with my 30 month old, never had any poor experiences beyond the odd "look", definitely had a few of those. I just don't want him to feel there's anything wrong with his nursing wherever, but I will ask him to wait if I don't feel comfortable where we are. If he can't wait, I'll just choose my spot/angle to be most comfortable in the current situation.
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#30 of 43 Old 10-24-2007, 04:03 AM
 
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I never tandemmed in public, my older nursling would wait until his sister was done and then it would be his turn. I just physically couldn't manage to hold both of them unless I was sitting on the floor and he was old enough to be ok with waiting. The only place I ever nursed them at the same time outside of the house was at LLL meetings (in the name of education).
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