Long-term nursing ending, middle-aged ... what to expect? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 13 Old 10-26-2007, 07:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So my youngest (of four b'H) has just weaned this week. She's b'H 3.5 and is a big girl now, as she keeps insisting. And with that, it seems, I'm done nursing ... started just shy of 10 years ago, and every day since have spent nursing at least one child, on demand. Several years of that were pregnant & nursing, and other years were tandem nursing, but it's now official ... I'm done nursing.



Sigh. :




So I'm in my mid-40s, have spent a decade nursing, and what's my body going to do now?






Am noticing (a whole five days into this non-nursing thing) that my appetite is diminishing but have also noticed that my stomach is a mess, but then again, just got my period (unrelated to the weaning ... have had my period back regularly for a year already).




Here's a weird one: The other day, for the first time since this youngest one was an infant and I was still tandem nursing her with her big brother, I felt letdown/milk leaking. That was wild. Haven't had it for years, and now no one is nursing, and there it is. Huh.






Anyone BTDT?
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#2 of 13 Old 10-26-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by merpk View Post
... Anyone BTDT?
Not me, but I am subbing since I am at 3 plus years with DD1 and we are tandem nursing with 16 month old DD2. I'm hoping to be done in about 14 months or so when DD2 is 2.5 or so but that may be optimistic.

If DD2 hangs in until she's 4 I may wind up nursing non stop for 6 years. I realize that's not exactly a record breaker here.

I did recently read about a long term nursing mom whose DC had weaned awhile ago (6 months or longer) and she seemed to be experiencing letdown but there may have been an emotional component since she would like another baby, DH wouldn't and she has been around a newborn recently.

Another poster referred to it as "phantom letdown", perhaps not unlike the phantom pain amputees experience.

But given how recently your DC weaned I think it simply suggests that you are still able to nurse. Not a bad thing considering DC could want to start again.
~Cath
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#3 of 13 Old 10-26-2007, 11:58 PM
 
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You might still feel some fullness occasionally, and a hint of that let-down feeling if you hear a baby crying or see a heartwrenching story about babies on the news.

There might still be the occasionaly drop of milk at your annual exam, during the breast exam part. It's no big deal if you've got a knowledgable doc/midwife.

Over time, all that fades away, including the reflex to hold a child "in the position".


"What will you do once you know?"
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#4 of 13 Old 10-27-2007, 12:02 AM
 
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Just wanted to give you a big

My youngest is 7 and nursing. I am *cough* mid forties and am not sure what to expect when we are done.

Congrats on those great 10 years

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#5 of 13 Old 10-28-2007, 01:51 AM
 
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Basically boils down to "Life goes on," in all its mess and glory.

"What will you do once you know?"
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#6 of 13 Old 10-30-2007, 02:11 AM
 
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Soooo great! 7yo and still nursing!! My DS is 5.5 and still nursing about once every day or two. He and I are fine with the arrangement, but society still has some issues.

How often does your littln nurse?
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#7 of 13 Old 10-30-2007, 05:48 AM
 
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My youngest is 7 and nursing. I am *cough* mid forties and am not sure what to expect when we are done.
I am so glad I came to this forum today. My dd is 6. My dh has been making rude comments about her still nursing for at least a year - IN.FRONT.OF.HER!: Last week he said something about her having weaned. um, no, she hasn't. I have an 11 month old, so she sees him nursing all of the time. Nursing has always been very important to her though.

I feel bad that I usually limit her to nursing for a couple of seconds now. I am done nursing her. I feel horrid about it, but I am just too touched out with both of them. I only started limiting her nursing last year when I got pregnant and was sick for the full 9 months and my breasts were sooo sore. Now she only nurses for maybe 5 seconds a day. I sort of miss it, but I have a hard time nursing her. She doesn't nurse well - the LCs missed that her suck is all wrong. She has nursed wrong, essentially biting me, for 6 years now. Now that I have another child, who I worked so damn hard to make sure that he DOES nurse correctly and doesn't hurt me, I have a hard time nursing her when it hurts. And she doesn't *need* milk in the same way that the baby does. but still....

for those of you with kids past 5 still nursing - how often does your dc nurse? Just briefly, or for a more extended period of time?
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#8 of 13 Old 10-30-2007, 05:54 AM
 
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He and I are fine with the arrangement, but society still has some issues.
We have a new babysitter. My 6 year old dd told her that she still nurses. The sitter told her that she doesn't nurse, that only babies nurse! It really hurt my daughter's feelings; she is very sensitive. She told me that she isn't going to tell anyone else that she is still nursing. It will be our secret. It hurt me so much to hear that the sitter said that to her and how it hurt her so much.

The sitter wasn't trying to be mean. She told me later that she met another woman who is nursing her 2 year old. I told her that I had nursed Rose "for several years." She was very surprised. She said that she had never met anyone before that had nursed longer than a year. Isn't it something like only 30% of women nurse past 6 months?
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#9 of 13 Old 10-30-2007, 10:21 AM
 
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My ds nursrs to sleep most nights and upon waking. Sometimes he nurses briefly, but mostly for several minutes or more. I have a 12 y/o dd that nursed a long time, we never made an issue of weaning. I certainly understand the pressure to do so. Sometimes it's only the mom that realizes how young the nursling child still is and that they are nursing because they need to. The milk still provides physical benefits, but also an emotional connection that is hard to 'explain'.

Rosestoys, I'm sorry your dh isn't supportive right now. It's hard for an older sibling to wean when they see the baby enjoying nursing. Is there a way to help her with her latch even tho she is 6? My children are almost 5 years a part also, so I understand the difficulties nursing while pregnant and trying to nurse 2, especially when one has a wonky latch

It's so nice to hear other moms listening to their kids and talking about it. I think the statistic for nursing beyond 6 months is even smaller.

~Joan, Happy mom to 2 beautiful kiddos, one new puppy and 2 lovely felines
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#10 of 13 Old 10-31-2007, 07:26 PM
 
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I nursed 2 children for over seven years. I am in mid-forties and just stopped nursing my youngest about 4 months ago. I am proof that children do and will wean when ready. I am so happy I could be there for my children for comfort and food. I love to see and chat with other mom's of older children still nursing. I still miss having a nursling..still can express milk..thought very little. When there done there done..
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#11 of 13 Old 11-03-2007, 10:26 AM
 
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I felt phantom letdowns when ds2 was 4, and I'd been dry for over a year. It happens sometimes to some people- just accept them as a reminder of that time in your life. EVEN when the trigger is a family ignoring their unhappy newborn in the supermarket....

Helen mum to five and mistress of mess and mayhem, making merry and mischief til the sun goes down.
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#12 of 13 Old 11-03-2007, 08:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Speaking of those let-downs ... DH said something about chocolates yesterday and I had another one.



Really.









So I've had a few incidences of nausea and just feeling not-quite-right the last two weeks. Am not sure if it's a bug I'm catching or hormonal wackiness from my newly-weaned-hormonal-weirdness state, or who knows what. Am making an appointment with the doctor, figure it's time to talk to her about all sorts of health issues for middle-aged ladies. If she gives me any useful information in re weaning and hormones and middle-agedness, well, I'll pass it on.
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#13 of 13 Old 11-09-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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I am happy to note that some moms who subscribed to this thread have nursed children well beyond 5 years. CLW s my pholosophy as well (also of this Forum) though my eldest is a month shy of 5 years as of now. Nice feeling to be in company. To be able to nurse for seven years is quite an achievement. Congrats.
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