Talk to me about CLW and TTC - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 10 Old 03-04-2008, 11:27 PM - Thread Starter
 
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DH and I are starting to think about trying to have another baby. Not yet, we've discussed starting ttc when DS turns 2, but we're seriously considering waiting until he weans, because we really think CLW is important, and he's not much of a comfort nurser, he's all about the milk! So realistically, can you tell me about pregnancy and nursing? Do a lot of babies wean? If DS isn't a comfort nurser, will he wean if I get pregnant? I really would hate for him to give up nursing before he's ready, the thought really upsets me. I love nursing him so much, I would hate to end that relationship because we want another baby, ds is my baby too! If it's best for him that we wait until he's done to try and have another baby, we will do that, no matter how long he needs to nurse. I'm just thinking about it a lot right now, and MDC is where I turn when I need other mama's to talk these things out with me! Thanks in advance!

Mama of two... DS born at 35w5d (11/06) and DD : born full term 38w3d (5/09) on what would have been my dad's 64th birthday. Always missing my dad who died of oral cancer 3/11/09.
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#2 of 10 Old 03-05-2008, 01:21 AM
 
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I believe in natural child spacing. I nurse 'on demand' day and night and leave the rest up to nature (or that is what I did, we think we are done at 4). I got pg when ds1 was 20 months and he nursed through that pg AND my next pg and self weaned right before his 4th birthday. Ds2 was 10 months when I conceived dd and he was all about the milk. He nursed right through my 3rd pg and I didn't lose my supply, though it was reduced. He self weaned right before he turned 3 after tandem nursing for 4 months
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Dd1 was 18 months when I got pg with dd2. She cut down nursing before I even knew I was pg and didn't nurse much through my pg. She didn't like the taste I think. She hardly nursed at all until recently (she is almost 3 and dd2 is 7 months). Now she nurses a couple of times a day at least.

Every experience has been different. I wouldn't have changed any of it though. The experience of having closely spaced siblings and tandem nursing has contributed to us being a very close-knit family. I don't feel I have lost anything, only gained. Some nurse longer than others, some nurse for comfort, others milk. Each experience brought something new that we never could have imagined beforehand.


 

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#3 of 10 Old 03-05-2008, 11:36 AM
 
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according to adventures in tandem nursing by hilary flower (which you can find much of at nursingtwo.com), a survey of mothers who conceived while breastfeeding found a pretty even split. about 1/3 of the mothers initiated weaning; 1/3 of the babes weaned themselves; and 1/3 continued to breastfeed throughout the pregnancy and subsequently tandem nursed. if you factor out the mother-led weaning, that means it's half and half. it's not a scientific study or anything, but it still probably gives a realistic sense of things.
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#4 of 10 Old 03-06-2008, 10:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your replies! It always helps.

FreeRangeMama- Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with me, it was very reassuring! And touching, I might add! Dh is an only child, and I was the youngest with 7 years between me and my sister, so the idea of having children closer in age is a new concept to us, and I'm sure that adds to why we worry so about it! I was glad to read about how close in age your children are and how that has been a wonderful experience for you!

doubledutch-thanks for the link, I had never seen that site before and I will have to read it. I suppose if we decide to try and get pregnant again I will have to be prepared for the fact that he might wean, but I can sure hope that he won't!

Mama of two... DS born at 35w5d (11/06) and DD : born full term 38w3d (5/09) on what would have been my dad's 64th birthday. Always missing my dad who died of oral cancer 3/11/09.
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#5 of 10 Old 03-06-2008, 10:28 AM
 
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lexmas,
My son is 26 months right now. We waited until he turned 2 to TTC. Not saying anyone else should do this, but its what we did. We were successful at the 24th month (first month of TTC).
With us, my son nurses alot (probably more than most 2 year old). I was prepared for my milk to dry up in my 2nd trimester or so but I was not fully prepared for the pain I experienced in the first trimester (I'm around 11 weeks so far). My milk supply has definitely dropped but I have recently ordered some More Milk for Two (amazon carries it but i found it cheaper somewhere else). I am hoping that helps. I did eat oatmeal for a long time but I don't think I can eat anymore oatmeal. I am sick of it. Keeping myself hydrated is a big thing and something I don't do as much as I should, but I'm working on it every day and trying to log my food and water intake.
So, thats my experience. Even at 2, I still feel a lot of guilt.
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#6 of 10 Old 03-11-2008, 10:16 PM
 
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I nursed my son through my second pregnancy. He dwindled down to wanting to nurse only 1 or 2 times a day by the end. When ds2 was born ds1 was there, he nursed during my labor when it slowed down and that brought on contractions to get things going again. He nursed moments after the birth of his brother and brought on the contractions for the delivery of my plactenta. When my "yummy pear milk" (his words) came in he became a feind for milk, ds2 had latch issues and thenursing of ds1 helped me to maintain a healthy supply of milk until he learned, we tandem nursed fo 10 months when we adopted 3 week old Alexis And she was added to our nursing party. And then there were 3, I will not pretend that this did not give me challenges It was hard!! but it has been worth it. Ds1 weaned this January at age 3, after 14 months of tandem nursing and 3 months of tri-tandem nursing I am still nursing the 2 babes (ds2 16 mos, dd 6 mos) in fact I am typing with one hand while tandem nursing right now. DS! just started asking to nurse again But the bond between my kids is amazing, watching them love each other at the breast is something most people dont get to experience. YOu need a VERY supportive partner but it is amazing. it is the hardest thing that I have ever done but anything worth doing should be hard so we appreciate it more.
Good luck on your decisions
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#7 of 10 Old 03-11-2008, 11:39 PM
 
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My DD is about a month older than your DS. She IS a big comfort nurser, so I don't know if that makes a difference. We also believe in natural child spacing and I have always nursed DD on demand. I actually got pregnant when DD was only 10 months old and nursing every 2 hours round the clock, but had a miscarriage. I got pregnant again when she was 14 months old and am now 13 weeks pregnant. So far things are going just fine. She does want to nurse from both sides sometimes now, which makes me think my supply has dropped a bit, but she seems happy with things otherwise. My nipples are sore, and it hurts sometimes, but I plan to let her continue as long as she wants. I will be sad if my milk dries up and she does stop, but we had difficulty conceiving DD - it took us 10 months and 2 miscarriages to have her, and I didn't want to take the chance that it would take even longer with #2. I never expected that I would be more fertile while breastfeeding :
I think the LLL book says that a study showed that about 60% of babies weaned during pregnancy for some reason or another (mother led, baby led, no milk, etc.).

Mama to two wonderful DDs (10/06 and 09/08) and expecting a DS 1/1/11!
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#8 of 10 Old 03-12-2008, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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PassionateWriter- Thanks so much for sharing your experience with me. I hope the more milk for two is working for you! I'm sure I'll feel some guilt as well, but that's how I am. I had only recently heard about nipple pain with nursing in the first trimester, so thanks for letting me know about that!

joeymama- What a wonderful experience you have had! And nursing 3...wow! How amazing! DS was born a month early and had latch problems at the beginning, so I have thought that having another nursling would help my milk come in faster!

MommytoHHH- It took us awhile to get pregnant with DS, so I expect the same will probably happen this time. Better to expect that than not expect it! I'm glad your DD is still nursing strong...that's very encouraging to hear. We'll just have to ride it out, I suppose.

Anyway, due to some health issues my parents are having, we're probably going to try sooner rather than later so that hopefully the next baby can have as much grandparent time as possible as well. Who knows if that will work out, but we were going to have them anyway, so might as well try! Hopefully DS will keep on nursing, but if it takes awhile to get pregnant again he may just wean on his own anyway. Thanks for all your stories, they've brought me great comfort!

Mama of two... DS born at 35w5d (11/06) and DD : born full term 38w3d (5/09) on what would have been my dad's 64th birthday. Always missing my dad who died of oral cancer 3/11/09.
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#9 of 10 Old 03-12-2008, 06:42 PM
 
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DS#2 was a passionate nurser, both for comfort and for milk. Since my supply was never that great with him, DH and I decided to wait until he was at least 3 yrs old to TTC and then see what happened. We actually waited until he was almost 4 before TTC, as DS was so high needs. He weaned early in my second trimester, he was 4. One day he told me the "nursies were broken" and that was the end of that. I obviously was not too concerned because he was already 4. However, had he chosen to nurse through the entire pregnancy, I was prepared to continue and even tandem if I had to.
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#10 of 10 Old 03-14-2008, 02:01 PM
 
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Definitely read "Adventures in Tandem Nursing" - it discusses it all in great detail. In spite of the title, decisions about weaning are discussed sensitively and supportively.

sharing life with | 10 yo ds | 8 yo dd | dh (since 2012)
"I am not what happened to me...I am what I choose to become." ~ Carl Jung
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