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Shell 03-08-2008 10:28 AM

My almost 3.5 year old daughter has always been a frequent nurser. She LOVES the boobs. I've always felt they were my best "tool in the toolbox" and I have cherished our nursing time.

In my second trimester, much to my dismay, I had no choice but to night wean due to immense pain. We still nursed to sleep and to wake (when the light came up as our signal) and I bit my lip a lot. I am also about a size H right now (used to be a D!), and nursing in bed is painful. It is much less painful to nurse in the rocking chair - when I had a lap. Anyway, the night weaning went surprising well, back then.

Now the baby can come any day and I am big and uncomfortable. The last few weeks dd has been just obsessive about nursing. I try to explain to her that the boobs hurt, my back hurts, etc., etc., but she just is not giving up. "Can I have boobie NOW?" "I need boob!!!" I want it!!!" Every 30 seconds! She is crying and whining for it all day and night. I've been nursing her in the rocking chair as much as I can, but my back and hips are starting to kill me - not the shape I want to be in for the birth! I should add that she also drinks rice milk from a bottle (from either me or daddy), but lately she mostly wants the boob.

My approach to breastfeeding has generally to take things one day at a time, and to wait for the "phases" she goes through to change. But with the whole dynamic of the baby coming (and of course, getting first priority on the boob) and my bodily discomfort, and my "mourning" the end of my intimate solo relationship with my daughter -- I am just so worn out -- physically and emotionally. I do think she has somewhat of a grasp on the fact that the baby will need booby first, but we'll see how that actually plays out.

I'm just venting and looking for hugs. I don't know what I could possibly do differently. I feel like my 3 year old has a genuine need to nurse, and I love that time with her too. There are so many changes that are going to occur in our household - I hate to deny her the thing that brings her the most comfort. But... I need my sanity and physical health too.

Any thoughts?

Mama2ABCD 03-11-2008 12:35 PM

you are a great mom and you sure are hanging tough. your little baby will be here soon enough (just think, a month from now and that baby will already have been around a little while). i think sometimes the more difficult it is for us the more our nurslings need it...they sense our distress and respond to it by needing the comfort nurse? vicious cycle
i would strongly recommend getting out with your dd. i know you are toward the end, and the weather might not be suitable, but getting out would be a good distraction for you and your dd. that's if you can swing it.
drink more water
you've come so far and it truely is almost over!

Meredith&Alexander 03-14-2008 12:59 AM

If it helps any, I felt like that when I was pregnant with Ford, and all those feelings went away as soon as he was born like they had never existed. Alexander was none the worse for wear from the very restricted nursing in the weeks before delivery, and was delighted with the milkies his baby brother brought with him.

We're still nursing happily a year later, so it must have worked! And it was definitely worth it.

flowmom 03-14-2008 02:59 PM

I am still nursing both of my kids. I remember the stage you describe well! It's OK to say "no" IMO, when it isn't working for you. There is a lot of learning in the process of talking and negotiating about the issue. Being obsessed with nursing in that situation is pretty common and nothing to worry about. IME, it all got easier when the baby was born. Being very pregnant and nursing a toddler was a bootcamp in "taking one day at a time" IME .

rmzbm 03-14-2008 08:18 PM

I have moments too...probably the pregnancy, I am nearly 38 weeks so I imagine things will improve soon. Today DD (2 next week) decided she HAD to nurse on both boobs, at the same time! Sorry, my boobs just don't smoosh together like that. She.went.postal!

Shell 03-14-2008 08:46 PM

Thank you ladies for your responses!!!

Well... I'm no longer 39 weeks pregnant, but rather the mother of two! Adam was born 5 days ago in a glorious and wonderful homebirth!!! Labor was all of 2 hours!!! (Story to be posted soon).

The mommy of Meredith&Alexander hit it pretty close to home -- the feelings have pretty much subsided. I am now pretty thrilled to be nursing my daughter again (who seems like a giant now!), as we desperately need to do things for her to feel close to me, now that she has a little competition from her new brother. Is there anything better than nursing? As long as I'm not feeding her brother, I actually don't mind nursing her at night time again. It is much better than a tantrum -- and it works! The only problem is that I still have some pain when I nurse her for too long. She hates when I tell her that her time is up, but we're just going to have to deal with it.

Gotta go nurse!!!

Thanks to everyone again!

Mama2ABCD 03-14-2008 08:53 PM

congratulations on the birth of your newest sweet one!
when i first read your post it made me think you were about to have a baby, but i didn't want to give you false hope. and you were already babymooning! happy tandeming
have you tried nursing them at the same time yet?

Shell 03-14-2008 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Mama2ABCD View Post
have you tried nursing them at the same time yet?
A little bit, and it was great for bonding. But between stiches and hemmroids I'm only nursing laying down, so it is kind of tough right now. I can't wait until I can actually sit in a chair again - and nurse them both on my lap. I think I will love it!

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