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-   -   need help ASAP (https://www.mothering.com/forum/305-child-led-weaning/894012-need-help-asap.html)

*mama moose* 05-08-2008 02:38 PM

this is quick, I'm waiting for my DH to get home to go to the ER. Basically, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and having PTL, my MW put me on bedrest yesterday, but its gotten worse, so shes sending me in to the hospital. I know that you aren't supposed to nurse on bedrest, but I still did 3-4 times yesterday, I was kinda hoping to just keep it to 2-3 times a day and keep it secret, but now that I'm going in, she flat out told me I'm not allowed to nurse at all. My heart is just broken. I seriously completely lost it on the phone when she said that. My DD is only 21 months old and nurses at least 5-8 times a day. Theres no milk there, but she REALLY needs the comfort. We are fully CLWers, she still nurses in the middle of the night and everything, on demand.
I don't even know what to do, what do I do? I mean, if I'm in the hospital I can't even secretly nurse her. I won't even be with her at night if they make me stay there. I know her dad can keep her busy during the day, she has gone all day without nursing when we go to say, the zoo, where shes too busy running around, but she nurses at night without fail no matter what.
Is there anything I can do to make this easier on her? Do you think she'll go back to nursing when I have DD2? I feel so much guilt right now. I don't want to take nursing away from her, she is just a baby. I feel like she is going to be permenantly damaged from this. traumatized, I guess.
I don't even know how/if I'm going to check this after I leave, but maybe I'll have DH come read it for any suggestions.
Thanks.

syn_ack89 05-08-2008 02:50 PM


LavenderMae 05-08-2008 05:19 PM

I'm sorry. You are dealing with a lot right now. I would just give your dd all the loove you can and resume bf'ing her when you are able. I wish I had better advice about this but I really don't have any information/knowledge about your situation. Another big to you.

yarngoddess 05-08-2008 05:28 PM

I went through this (not the PTL, but not able to nurse baby 12mo, preg with #4) and DH had to be as loving and gentle and strong as he has ever had to! It litterally took all his strength and energy to help Jenny be away from mommy. He gave her a bottle of cow's milk, sometimes cold, sometimes warmed up- and supprisingly she took it and would sleep for him. Do you have a sling you DH can use??? A babyhawk or toddler hawk? I have one you could borrow if you don't- I can send it ASAP please let me know.

Have him wear your DD, it will greatly help. Also, soft music- Jack Johnson worked wonders for my DD, and she still will come running if she hears it playing. Loves the stuff. Also, if he's having a really hard time try a shower with her, or a long car ride.

I'm so sorry you are going through this! I hope you hang in there a while longer- and I hope all this drama stops for you! BTW- my little nursling is still nursing, she turned 2 a few months ago! So- I have been tandem nursing for 15 months straight!!! Hugs and healing to ALL of you!

zensven42 05-08-2008 05:42 PM

when it comes down to it, you are in charge of your own medical care and if you want to nurse, then by all means nurse. If it is causing trouble with halting the PTL (if this is what you are trying to do( then maybe you should stop, but it is up to YOU.

*mama moose* 05-08-2008 06:30 PM

thanks for all the hugs and help
luckily, it turns out I just have a very bad UTI causing the cramping and blood, so no PTL for me! I'm home now, on ABX, but home, and MW immediately said "go nurse your baby!"
That was probably the most awful feeling I've felt in a long time, being faced with weaning my DD, thank you so much for the support everyone.

SevenVeils 05-09-2008 01:22 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zensven42 View Post
when it comes down to it, you are in charge of your own medical care and if you want to nurse, then by all means nurse. If it is causing trouble with halting the PTL (if this is what you are trying to do( then maybe you should stop, but it is up to YOU.
This is an excellent point.

I'm glad that it wasn't PTL, that must be a huge relief. I hope you're feeling much better very soon

MamaMonica 05-09-2008 01:52 AM

I hope you feel better soon!

yarngoddess 05-09-2008 05:00 AM

YEAH!!! Let's all do a happy dance for you!!! I have been so worried about you all day, and no way to check back on this thread! WOO HOO!!!

Sorry about your UTI- I hope that clears up soon too!

LavenderMae 05-09-2008 12:18 PM

WOOT!!!!!!

Nan'sMom 05-09-2008 02:57 PM

I'm so glad you are doing better, able to nurse and have an answer. I hope you feel better soon!

I wanted to point out some language in your post that you might want to think about. You wrote that your midwife "flat out told me I'm not allowed to nurse at all". It could be just how you wrote it but if your midwife is actually talking to you in that way, you might want to think about the relationship there. It is not her place to order you around. If she wants to strongly recommend things, fine. But as someone else pointed out, all of this is your decision, not hers. Most caregivers don't get this, but I think it's a really important point.


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