So I was
filled with 11 weeks worth of "tissue" and a baby 2 weeks ago...now I am empty. I had two UC births and planned on this being one as well...
I went for a prenatal visit Monday with a midwife to determine my dates, as I was breastfeeding and had no clue if I was 2 months or 6 (I don't show much till about 7 months). She did an ultrasound to determine the date and discoverd the baby had no heartbeat. She encouraged me to let my body handle it on it's own (against the advice of the OB in her office) and told me the danger signs (not that I didn't know them, but I try not to ruffle their feathers too much...I just go for the info I want and let them feel somewhat important by letting them disperse their advice).
I went home and waited...it was a horrible wait. I wondered if it would really take 4 to 6 weeks for my body to realize it wasn't growing a baby anymore. I went from hopeful feelings to sad feelings...doubt and worry.
On Friday (4 days later) I started spotting....Friday night at 3 AM I woke up with contractions and heavy bleeding. I figured I lost about 2 gallons of blood (I am sure it was an over estimate but likely not too far off) and had blacked out twice. I didn't want to alarm my family in the middle of the night so I waited until about 7AM to ask for help. I am not one to ask for help much, nor do I like mainstream medicine, not to mention I avoid hospitals at all cost. The first thing out of my mouth was "I need help, take me to the hospital."
My husband took me to the hospital where I passed out for the third time and was rushed in. They found that my blood pressure was 57 over 32 and immediately hooked me up to IV and monitoring...it was surreal. I was fading in and out of consciousness and was unable to articulate my thoughts.
To make a long story short...I ended up witha D & C and methregine and all the hospital bells and whistles....but I don't know if I had any other choice. I asked to see my baby...and they acted like I was nuts...they beat around the bush and told me it wasn't a viable pregnancy and the baby was deceased prior to birth blah blah blah but after I pressured them the doctor blurted out "the baby was dismembered and you DO NOT want to see it....we can not allow it". I was shocked beyone words....livid. I tore into him and he proceeded to inform me that it was my body that caused the baby to be dismembered and he documented it on ultrasound prior to removing it along with a "significant amount of tissue." They didn't want to answer any of my questions about what meds they were giving me or why (they acted like I hadn't ought to ask...just be glad they are saving my life) and basically didn't offer me any options, sympathy, or concern other than making sure I recovered (which is nice and all, but I would have liked a little sympathy and patience).
I was moved to post partum where the room was all set up for a baby...but I had none....and could only imagine what had happened to mine. It was horrible and sad...
It left me wondering why I could have 2 UC's and my body did just fine....I did fine...my babies did fine - but I could not do this on my own ....if I hadn't gone in what would have happened? Where did my knowledge and will go ...
Anyway....I looked for stories I could relate to on the net and didn't find much detail...just medical jargon. I thought some of you who have or will deal with what I did, might appreciate knowing you are not alone.