How do you deal with toddler separation anxiety? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 2 Old 02-28-2010, 12:28 AM - Thread Starter
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My 15 month old is in a major separation anxiety stage right now.

I live and work (only 15hrs/wk) on a university campus and my office is in our apartment so I do a lot of work when dd is sleeping or when she's playing in my office.

I also have students babysit about 2-3 hours a week and sometimes more for sepcial occasions. Lately, she has been SCREAMING and throwing a fit when they come.

She also always used to prefer DH but lately she's all about mommy.

I've been changing around my plans to try and be with her as much as possible since she's so clingy.

Is this the best way to deal with separation anxiety? What do you do?

Do you keep going with life as normal and figure your toddler will handle it? Or do you rearrange things to minimize separation?

Loving wife to DH and
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mama to DD (11/08) and DS (2/12) and expecting another little boy (4/15)
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#2 of 2 Old 02-28-2010, 01:39 AM
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I think if you can rearrange things, it is the kindest thing to do for her. However, if you can't you just muddle through and try to give her you undivided attention more at other times. I'm a sahm so I haven't had to face this myself. I know it must be heartbreaking for you, too. Please don't feel like you are spoiling her by changing your schedule to meet this need. It is a stage and it will pass and she won't be spoiled by you spending more time with her. I know that in my culture there is a belief that 'what doesn't kill 'em, makes 'em stronger'. All this talk about 'they have to learn to be without you' bull hockey.

Anyway, I did show dd in a gradual way that I may leave and come right back. Then, I stretched the time out gradually. I didn't sneak out. I always told her that I would be right back. This seemed to help. I stayed close by so that if she cried for longer than five minutes, I came back to get her.

DH, and Me plus baby girl (10/07)
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