Problems with toddler aggression
I'm new here, and I'm a dad, not a mom, hopefully that's okay.
I'm the parent to a super hyper, super destructive and super disobedient (as much as I hate that word) 4-year-old.
Growing up I had a terrible childhood and father and I try to be the complete opposite, but my child likes to tell me regularly that I'm the worst dad in the world, that he hates me, wants me to leave his mother and him, and even went as far as to tell me to kill myself.
I never wanted kids, nor to be married, but my wife wanted both and threatened me with leaving if I didn't accommodate her wishes, and now I have a child who I spend every waking moment, that I'm not at work, caring for, all for him to tell me, not occasionally, but every day, how much he hates me.
Has anyone else, mom or dad, dealt with this? Is it normal?
I should also mention that he's extremely aggressive to me, from punching me in the face for no reason, to hitting me with whatever object he can find, to pretending to shoot and stab me and telling me to die.
I should also mention that he isn't spanked, unless he's waaaay out of control. He's reprimanded by having toys and play time taken away from him, so there's no aggression towards him for him to normalize or act out such violent behavior.
What can I do?
* We do therapy weekly, and the therapist isn't very helpful. I, myself, study psychology and am a junior in college (I'm 33, returning after all these years) for psychology, so I understand a lot of his behavior as trying to find autonomy and pushing boundaries, but I think this type of behavior is beyond that.