Limiting daytime nursing to help with nightweaning? - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 7 Old 04-09-2006, 04:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My dp is suggesting that it would be easier to night wean, if I cut down a lot on daytime nursing.
Ds is 20 mos old, and he wakes to nurse 5 or more times most nights. He also rarely goes more than an hour between nursings in the day (unless I'm gone shopping, then he doesn't seem to mind at all).
Dp knows about the nutritional benefits of extended bf, and agrees, but sees that I'm frustrated at night (and during the day sometimes). He thinks that I'm "mean" at night, and that it would be easier on ds to understand the whole not-nursing thing when he's awake and happy. Granted, I do sometimes get frustrated at night, but it seems like it would be better to work on ME, than to work on ds, kwim?
I did find last night that saying "Mommy's sleeping, nips are sleeping (his word for nursing), now Keagan go to sleep" and "Let's wait to nip when its daytime" really helped me stay calm and un-frustrated (not a word, but ykwim). And it did seem to help him go to sleep without nursing, and stay asleep a while, and he wasn't upset at all. But that could've been a one-time deal.
It's really hard to "limit" nursings during the day, and on top of that, I don't want to have limits that make ds unhappy. But it would be nice to be able to get the dishes done in one shot, and not have to stop to nurse a toddler!

Would limiting daytime nursings help? I'm not willing to wean him. It just seems silly to replace people milk with cow milk, kwim? I don't even care if he nurses at night once or twice, but 5 times is too much!

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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#2 of 7 Old 04-09-2006, 06:40 PM
 
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I'm sure some of the BTDT mamas here will have some good ideas...but it seems to me like limiting his daytime nursing would actually make him want to nurse more at night.

I think the "nip is sleeping" approach might take a while but will be worth it in the long run, especially since it "makes sense" in a 20 month old sort of way. The idea that everyone/everything is sleeping should make sense to a little one more than just a general reduction in nursing would. Not that he "can't" have nip....just that right now everything is asleep and nip will be back in the morning.

It sounds like you're doing a fabulous job!


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#3 of 7 Old 04-09-2006, 07:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wombatclay
..but it seems to me like limiting his daytime nursing would actually make him want to nurse more at night.
yes.....in fact if you wanted to limit night time nursing I would offer MORE during the day. If you don't meet his needs during the day, he is going to want his needs met at night to make up for it. "A need unmet will become stronger" - ( I forget who said this....but its so true with SO MANY THINGS!!)


Also, limiting during the day along with nightweaning could end up in total weaning.

I nightweaned when my ds was around 25/26 months old ( how soon we forget) and I used the whole, we nurse during the day when the sun is up, and not when the sun is down and it is dark. He accepted that and would wake me in the am with a " the sun is up....bookie( his word) please!" and I happily obliged. I also made sure to nurse him on demand more during the day so that he felt like his needs were being met. It doesn't mean that I NEVER put him off, because I did ( "as soon as I finish this") but I always made good on my promise to nurse him. I think, with him, knowing that he had full access during the day made it easier to give up the bookies during the night.

Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10

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#4 of 7 Old 04-10-2006, 02:51 AM
 
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Yes, I agree with pp...while night weaning I let dd nurse as much as she wanted during the day. We weren't ready to totally wean yet. We did the same thing with saying that she could nurse when it was daytime and light outside, just not at night when it was dark (this was during the summer). I think it would have been really hard for her if we'd tried to limit day and night nursing all at once.
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#5 of 7 Old 04-10-2006, 02:58 AM
 
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I'm nightweaning my 20 mo old right now using the "mamo's are sleeping" aproach. I let her know that she can nurse whenever she wants when the sun is up, but that at nighttime we all sleep. I really emphasized that *she* got to wake "mamo" up when the sun comes up, and throughout the day when she asks to nurse, we look together to see if the sun is up. Its going really well after an unsuccessful attempt 2 months ago.
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#6 of 7 Old 04-10-2006, 03:10 AM
 
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limiting nursing at all hours of the day?

that's ... counter-productive if you don't want to totally wean.

if you can't nurse during the night, nurse *more* during the day!

and if for some reason your day nursing is limited, then don't night-wean yet if you don't want to completely wean.

my daughter is a month older than your little one and i've had to mostly night-wean her because of a separation with her daddy (we're not sharing a family bed anymore, and she will NOT sleep with just me, so she sleeps with him ~ consequently no night nursing )... and i nurse her sooo much during the day. but it's nice because i really miss nursing her throughout the night...

good luck.
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#7 of 7 Old 04-10-2006, 03:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the opinions- I was thinking the same thing
But my dp is a really sensitive gd guy, and I kinda thought there might be something to his idea.
I think we'll stick with unlimited nursing during the day (mostly- I still have a right to pee lol), and work on the nights.

Thanks again!

Becky, partner to Teague, SAHM to Keagan (7yo), Jonah (2yo)
 

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