I dont know where to turn. I am having visions of doing something and taking the baby with me. I dont think I want to care anymore. I am tired, I need help and NO one can spare a FREAKIN second to be bothered. I dont want to bother with all of this anymore. If I knew for a fact it wouldnt bring me bad karma and I wouldnt be stuck burning for it, I would take her and do it in a hot minute. I am so scared I am shaking and this started this morning. Everyone Ive reached to cant take the time. So now what do I do?
This link can give you numbers in your state.
Please, please call. You are NOT a waste of human flesh.
As for that oh, so helpful receptionist, do you recall her name? You need to report her to the doctor that employs her. Maybe she doesn't have the time to talk to you, but your doctor might just have made time to talk to you.
As for your "DH". Don't worry about him right now. Place your efforts on yourself and your beautiful child.
Take a deep breath and go one step at a time.
Please keep calling all of the health professionals that you've seen in the last few years...sometimes your regular doctor, or a nurse practioner, or a midwife will "hear" what you are saying, or remember who does same-day appointments or something. Just keep reaching out.
After 4 m/c, our is here!
A lil validation does a body good?? That and I need a huge kitty pile to lay in the center of. Lots of hugs and lots of self/re assurance I am not going to go mental.
Maybe try an urgent care center in your area? That way you would be seen today. Most areas have them, and most are open evenings; not critical as an ER, not as "regular" as an office. Recognizing that youre having thoughts of hurting yourself and/or your babe along with you is definitely a reason to seek help; BIG kudos to you for reaching out, even if just to us!
Please keep us updated.
We all have rough days, and sometimes we say things we really don't mean to those we love. Try not to take all of that "blame" personally, esp from your children.
Nobody is a "waste of human flesh" and I'm so sorry people who you thought loved you told you something so horrible. You are a valuable human being and you deserve to get help and you deserve to feel good.
Ruth, single mommy to 3 quasi-adults
Sometimes work environments can be really crappy at times. I loved my job too, but where I was at just seemed to make me unhappy.
It sounds like you have had an especially harsh day, there are others that have days where we wonder where we fit in and who really cares about us.
You said you kept trying to talk to ppl who seemed too busy and uncaring to talk to you. I imagine that made you feel sad and hurt. It sounds like you feel very hurt and feel your not truly being listened to. I hope you see that you have been listened to here. Please keep us posted!!
I would try your ob again and make sure you have a nurse on the phone who you feel is listening to you. If not call back and get another nurse. Talk to them about ppd. You might also consider a counselor. Counselors are great to talk to and will be there for you. I think it would be awesome for you to have someone that you could talk to like a counselor as well as us here!!
I'm a single working mom of 3 wonderful kiddos.
If you can PM me your location maybe we can meet up and chat at a coffee house or I can help with kids for a while at the park (weather is nice enough!). Or even better, try to make some connections with other moms in your area IRL from MDC. Check out the tribal areas and find your location.
It always makes me feel better to have another like-minded Mama to chat with in person, even if kids are hanging around.
anyway, and keep us posted.
when you call your doctor, you don't have to explain anything to the receptionist/nurse. You can just say, you have an emergency and need to speak to your physician or the physician on call.
I worked in a Dr's office, they have to get you a call back from an M.D. if you simply tell them that.
I don't think the doc would be dismissive if you tell him what you told us here.
Please come back and post here, we can give you some support. I am sorry you're suffering so much. It will get better, it really will.
You've gotten some great advice here. I hope that talking with someone at the hotline will also help you deal with your day. Don't ignore your feelings, keep searching to find someone who can help. It took a lot of strenght for you to reach out..that's the hardest part. And then for the help you sought to blow you off...it's sad, but in no way a reflection on you.
I think you're a great person for reaching out for help!
Let us know how you are.
Our children make a study of us in a way no one else ever will. If we don't act according to our values, they will know.~Starhawk New User Agreement! https://www.mothering.com/articles/user-agreement
Hang in there sweet mama, you are worth the world to that baby!!! I've gone thru some dark times myself, but somehow, I've seen the light at the end of my dark tunnel, somehow, I made it. And you will too! May the fire and life of your soul shine thru this rough road and tunnel, and may you too, come out feeling lighter and more free than when you entered.
Feel free to PM me, I am so there for you, I will listen and send you much much strength,
All My Soul,
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