Moving for 6th time in one year, with 1 year old, affecting sleep. - Mothering Forums

 
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#1 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 02:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi all, wasn't sure where to post this, maybe will crosspost in "the family bed"
My little guy is turning 1 tomorrow, and in his short lifespan has moved 5 times already, and we are about to move again. All within the same town, but still, lots of changes.
We co-sleep in a kingsize futon , and he wakes up 4-5 times a night to nurse.
I'm getting alot of pressure from my parents to move him to a crib, as well as CIO. they are convinced that we wake the baby up at night, which is why he won't sleep through the night.
I think that moving as many times as we have, the one constant has been the family bed, and nursing, so he relies on these to feel "at home".
\I'm exhausted, and there are nights where he'll wake every 45 mins.
Any advice on nightweaning? Or should I wait until all the moves are done? We have one more after this one, into our own house. finally!
Anyone have any good responses to pressuring grandparents?
Now dp wanting to try CIO, and I am feeling like a failure on just about all fronts...
I do feel like he needs this one constant in his life until we are in a stable home. any tips on getting grandparents to stop the judging?

Francaise and American, third culture lady, loving life with DP Justin and DS Merlin, b 04/01/09 - Hoping to welcome "petite graine" in February 2015

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#2 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 03:10 PM
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I agree with you that the family bed and nursing are probably familiar comforts for your little one (and maybe you, too!) and you should keep things the way they are if you're comfortable with that.

I can't think of a polite way to tell the inlaws to MYOB, but could you just say something noncommital like, "We'll definitely think about it." whenever they start in on you?

PS I'm a Mainer born and raised; shout out to Ft. Kent!!
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#3 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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my advice is, don't listen to grandparents. they will give you advice throughout ALL of your parenthood. some good, some bad, but don't let their nagging/advice sway you in any way. with CIO, i would only recomend to try it when you AND DP are comfortable with it, because it is going to be HARD- emotionally and physically. if you think it's best for your family, then do it. otherwise keep doing what you're doing. it take kids 3-4 nights to get a sleep routine down, and if you're moving often enough, it might take a longer. what you're describing with your kiddo doens't seem too far off from most cosleeping 1 year olds. my DD wakes up 2-3 times a night and we still cosleep. keep doing what you're doing. i know you're losing sleep and its tough, but do what feels right for you.

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#4 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 07:24 PM
 
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We moved a lot during ds' first year as well & honestly the family bed was a lifesaver for us in many ways. It didn't matter where we were he slept "normally" (for him) 'cause it was familiar.

I understand the desire to nightwean (ds didn't sleep through the night predictably until very recently) but I would wait until things are a little more settled. I think limiting the number of big changes at the same time helps to set you up for success.

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#5 of 6 Old 03-31-2010, 10:22 PM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for the feedback mamas: it really helps to have some advice and support on following one's own intuition. I wouldn't normally share our sleeping arrangements with my parents but unfortunately they are privy to them: we are living in their guest house until our new home is lead-free.
This whole confrontation stemmed from me mentioning that I would move our king-size futon into the barn (guest house), in passing. My mom put her foot down: we are not allowed to move things around in her house. As we are too broke for rental accommodation due to new house purchase and work, and most of our friends who live nearby either cannot accommodate us due to their own large families or have old farmhouses full of lead (and our crawling, mouthy one year old is definitely at that stage of always being on the floor and putting things in his mouth), we are at a loss to find another situation.
I really want to keep our little guy close until we are settled, and nursing, and your encouragement helps me feel as though I am doing the right thing. Thanks again for your support: now back to the books: maybe I can find some litterature to support me in this endeavor, or at least convince my parents to stop pressuring us about how we are doing things.

Francaise and American, third culture lady, loving life with DP Justin and DS Merlin, b 04/01/09 - Hoping to welcome "petite graine" in February 2015

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#6 of 6 Old 04-01-2010, 07:03 AM
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[QUOTE=PicklinQueen;15248239]This whole confrontation stemmed from me mentioning that I would move our king-size futon into the barn (guest house), in passing. My mom put her foot down: we are not allowed to move things around in her house./QUOTE]


Oh, for goodness sake!!! What about if you purchased a king size air mattress?
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