Should we go for it?? (And if we do, what should we expect?) - Mothering Forums

 
Thread Tools
#1 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
Friendlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have a 9 month old dd and I think I'm ready to start ttc next month. Are we crazy? I mean, I hardly shower or get out of the house now, so how much worse could it be, right?

I love the idea of having children close in age. I was 5 years younger than my brother and 7 years younger than my sister and I always felt left out or "too little" to do anything they were doing. I always swore I'd have kids close in age...and then after having my daughter, I understood why it took my mom 5 years to get pregnant again with me!

But maybe I can handle it? To those of you with two little ones (approximately 18-20 mos apart) what should I expect?
Friendlee is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#2 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 09:52 PM
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,262
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a quote from my sister, whose little ones are 18 months apart, after she learned that we were considering the same: "It's insane for the first year, like trying to keep a huge screaming banana from a wailing monkey. But after that first year it's awesome!"

Hope this helps!

bedsharing, knitting, toddler-nursing, nerdy, babywearing mama!

familybed1.gif  knit.gif toddler.gif  geek.gif  momsling.GIF

Knitting Mama is offline  
#3 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 09:58 PM
 
earthmama369's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 6,792
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I like that quote.

I got pregnant with ds when dd was 10 months old. They're 19 months apart. It was insane the first year or two, really and truly. But it was also still very cool. She was so little, she doesn't remember ever not having a baby brother, and because she was still nursing and cosleeping, we didn't really have any jealousy to deal with. Now they're 4 and 5 years old and they're best friends. They play together really well and can interact on pretty much the same level, which lets them enjoy each other. From what some friends with one kiddo each have said, I suspect that while those first couple of years were harder than if I'd spaced them out more, I now have it much easier than if I only had one or if they were farther apart. They entertain each other for hours.
earthmama369 is offline  
 
#4 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 10:14 PM
 
Nicole730's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I say if you want to, go for it! It might not happen right away anyway. My two are 22 months apart, and I love it. It is a lot of work - but great fun too. I plan on having 2 more each two years or so apart.

Mama to three

Nicole730 is offline  
#5 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 10:28 PM
 
Tigerchild's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: Seattle Eastside
Posts: 4,737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We wanted less than two years between kid 1 and 2.

Kid 1 was 17 months old when THE TWINS were born (I had a miscarriage inbetween though).

I think it would have been more fun with two singletons. But overall I am pretty happy with the spacing, it's very convenient in a lot of ways.

Um....sometimes though, you get a surprise.
Tigerchild is offline  
#6 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 10:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
Friendlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicole730 View Post
It might not happen right away anyway.
Yup, so true.

Okay, I feel like we're gonna go for it...finances be damned.
I can't bring myself to say it out loud yet...but I think it's a go. I think.
Friendlee is offline  
#7 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 10:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
Friendlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh dear, if I ended up with twins I would just have to let my friends know that I'll be certifiably insane for the next 3 years and that I'll talk to them after that. Then again, thru the first pregnancy, I always said that if I had to deal with the stupid Hyperemsis Gravidarum I may as well get some bang for my buck and have twins! (Puked for 4.5 months ((3x/day and lost 20lbs)) until I was given some bio-identical progesterone).
Friendlee is offline  
#8 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 10:41 PM
 
EmTheWife's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If you are crazy, we are crazier...our ds is 2 mo, and we're already talking about ttc when he is 6-9 mos old; but I don't think you're crazy; our reasoning is similar to yours in wanting to give our children close siblings and also do the "baby stuff" in one grouping, rather than spread it out over 10 years for 3-4 kiddos. Good luck!
EmTheWife is offline  
#9 of 24 Old 07-07-2010, 11:13 PM
 
MamaChicken's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 1,284
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DD was 9 mo when I got pregnant with our twins. Surprise!

It is still crazy but like a pp said after a while it gets better. And now (DD is 3 and twin boys are 20 mo) they play great together.

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
MamaChicken is offline  
#10 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 02:01 AM
 
NewDirections's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Bay Area
Posts: 2,023
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I say go for it and I'm jealous!

jog.gifkid.gif

NewDirections is offline  
#11 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 02:08 AM
 
bubbagirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
How exciting! Good luck - I thought I got my fertility back at 9 weeks and we haven't been usinmg protection kind of hoping for another. I got my second cycle at 16 weeks and I'm pretty sure its back now. We have already talked about trying starting in oct which would be 6 months. If it happens sooner well be fine with that. I assumed it would be harder initially but great after 6 months or so.

radical homemaking/living, homesteading, organic gardening, open minded mama to two amazing little ones 3/2010 and 9/2011 and expecting #3!!!! 5/2013.

bubbagirl is offline  
#12 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 09:19 AM
 
akind1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 3,218
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I say go for it! we likewise want close spacing between our first 2, and while I am not up for TTC yet, as we TTC for nearly 2 years with DS, I am, and we are, open to an oops! (granted, it's not really an oops if you aren't avoiding . . .) I really want baby #2 to be a happy accident!

Good luck, and may it happen soon for you -

Katrina - Mama to Gabriel
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
11/20/2009 and Norah
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
10/11/2011 and Theo
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
03/11/2013- married to Wayne -
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
akind1 is offline  
#13 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 05:44 PM
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I got pregnant when ds was 7 months old. unplanned, but we did want another baby sometime.
TBH, I really regret it. I feel like I'm taking away from DS at every turn, and at the same time, I'm not really enjoying what might be my last pregnancy.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
#14 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 06:01 PM
 
Anastasiya's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 1,485
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Our first two are 18 months apart and our second and third are 15 months apart.

It is HARD. Sometimes just plain NUTS.

But oh so worth it.

They are so close in age and seem to be one another's best friends. No one is left out (well, except the 1 year old baby). But I'm glad it happened that way....I too was much older than my siblings and was always saddened by that. They were very close in age and had each other. I was the "left out" one.
Anastasiya is offline  
#15 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 06:01 PM
 
LadyCatherine185's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Powhatan, VA
Posts: 3,347
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think if you are planning it, and can be happy about it, then go for it! TBH, I would wait until your LO is at least a year though, because your milk supply may dry up. Mine did with this pregnancy and DS has pretty much weaned. I had hoped to nurse until at least age 2. But if you are ok with that possibility, do it. My brother and I are 18 months apart and my mom said the first year was really rough (although my brother was a very fussy baby and she could never figure out what he wanted) but after that we played together great.

Good luck!

Catie belly.gif- Happy wife to Aaron stillheart.gif(01.05), mama to Liambikenew.gif(08.08), and Ian jammin.gif (11.10)! homebirth.jpgnocirc.giffamilybed1.gif and joy.gif due Feb 2013 with blessing #3!

LadyCatherine185 is offline  
#16 of 24 Old 07-08-2010, 07:57 PM
 
zannster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,202
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 33 Post(s)
I would have gone crazy if I'd done that. LOL! I really enjoyed the 1-on-1 with DS. I can see the attraction though.
zannster is offline  
#17 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 01:33 AM
 
Pookietooth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 5,079
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 25 Post(s)
It can be hard emotionally and physically from what I've heard but we are dealing with the opposite -- ds and dd are very far apart and it's hard because I'm older. I know they say that your vitamin and mineral stores are depleted by pregnancy and that they take at least 18 months to rebuild (B12, iron, calcium, folate). Make sure you bulk up on lots and lots of sources of the above if you decide to go ahead anyway. I know of two women who had major issues with their second who was conceived close to their other. One had such bad back pain they were going to induce her, the other her baby was born with a kidney infection. Not to scare you or anything -- I also know of others who didn't have any issues.

Jennifer DH Bill '97. DS C 2/03  
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
04/29/08/ DD S 10/28/09
mighty-mama and her sister Kundalini-Mama
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Pookietooth is offline  
#18 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 06:21 AM
 
Lauren31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Suburbia
Posts: 4,065
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by zannster View Post
I would have gone crazy if I'd done that. LOL! I really enjoyed the 1-on-1 with DS. I can see the attraction though.
I would not purposely ttc. I want my baby to my baby for as long as she needs I also want to nurse her until SHE wants to wean and I know some women have a hard time when they are pregnant with nursing, ie painful nipples, milk supply issues, etc. More selfishly though, I want to spread my babies out so I can enjoy each of them as individual babies and not two babies together.

ALso, I heard that because your body is so depleted of minerals/vits etc frm pregnancy, nursing, that you are more prone to morning sickness.

Personally, I just don't feel it's fair to my DD that I am in bed on bed rest or puking all day long when she is 1 years old and just starting to walk and explore and wants the interaction and active mommy even more then she does now!!! If there is an oops or something, yeah, but I would not TTC here any time soon!!!

Mommy to one champagne.gif
Lauren31 is offline  
#19 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 07:31 AM
 
SeekingJoy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 2,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 View Post
I think if you are planning it, and can be happy about it, then go for it! TBH, I would wait until your LO is at least a year though, because your milk supply may dry up. Mine did with this pregnancy and DS has pretty much weaned. I had hoped to nurse until at least age 2. But if you are ok with that possibility, do it. My brother and I are 18 months apart and my mom said the first year was really rough (although my brother was a very fussy baby and she could never figure out what he wanted) but after that we played together great. Good luck!
I got pregnant when DS was 1 year (kids are 20 months apart), he nursed until 15 months when my milk was completely gone at that point. I wouldn't be comfortable getting pregnant before my first LO was a year old at all.

Happy wife to DH superhero.gifand mama to DS signcirc1.gif11/05 and DD energy.gif8/07.
SeekingJoy is offline  
#20 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 03:16 PM
 
Xavismom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 589
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have considered this also, but my main worry is nursing.

How to do bedsharing and night nursing with two babes, especially if one is a newborn?? Anyone? This is the only thing stopping me from wanting TTC right now. DS is no where near ready to nightwean.

Mama to Xavian, born 11-24-09
Xavismom is offline  
#21 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 07:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
Friendlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I appreciate all of this honest feedback! Thanks!

I should have also mentioned that I'm feeling like I'm getting old. I don't want to spread the kids out and be still having kids at 40 IF I am fortunate enough to even remotely try to plan for them. Of course we know how planning goes...

I think if I had lots of time where I thought I'd be young, strong and fertile it'd be completely different. I guess another reason is that we'll be moving across the country in the next 5 years and I desperately want my mom (who lives in the same town as us now) to be here with me during each birth and infancy period so she can bond with the babies as well. Extraneous details to some, but they seem important to me. Anyway, the nursing thing is a touchy issue since people often feel so passionate about it. I wouldn't put a lot of effort into prematurely weening my lo unless it was because of a pregnancy. I know breast is best and I've quite literally poured blood, sweat and tears into making a very difficult nursing situation work for her because I felt she deserved it. So it's hard for me to think that I've significantly short-changed her for self weaning at about a year due to a pregnancy. (I only mention that because that part just isn't a concern for me, personally).

I hear you guys on the crazy for the first year thing...I can only imagine. But I sure feel intrigued to go ahead and do it.
Friendlee is offline  
#22 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 07:22 PM
 
celestialdreamer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 4,701
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Don't hate me for my opinion. I've had 3 kids all exactly 2 years apart and then #4 was born when #3 was barely 20 months. It might just have been #3's personality, but it has been HARD. Personally for me the age between 18-24 months is difficult, they are like a giant baby that gets into everything Having a newborn in the middle of that age is just really not my cup of tea I guess.

I am so happy with my family, don't get me wrong. I actually love a 2 year age spacing, but less than that is kind of hard on mama and also on the older child. The newborn is easy...but young toddlers are hard. I also lose my milk supply rather quickly when I'm pregnant and that meant that #3 weaned at 13 months

Do what feels best for you, but I can just tell you that while you will love your children, it can be really hard to have such close spacing. There is a big difference between an 18 month old and a 2 year old developmentally. If it were me, I'd wait until your baby is over a year before TTC. That's just a few months away and might be easier in terms are nursing, your child's development and your body.

~Rebecca~
mama to a sweet girl , & 4 silly boys

celestialdreamer is offline  
#23 of 24 Old 07-09-2010, 08:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
Friendlee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by celestialdreamer View Post
Don't hate me for my opinion.
Not at all!! This is good, I need real life opinions from mom's who've been through it! I thank you for your input!
Friendlee is offline  
#24 of 24 Old 07-10-2010, 11:44 AM
 
LadyCatherine185's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Powhatan, VA
Posts: 3,347
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think the reasons of moving across the country and wanting your mom there are totally great reasons. I would feel the same way if I knew my mom would only be there to help for the next 5 years.

Catie belly.gif- Happy wife to Aaron stillheart.gif(01.05), mama to Liambikenew.gif(08.08), and Ian jammin.gif (11.10)! homebirth.jpgnocirc.giffamilybed1.gif and joy.gif due Feb 2013 with blessing #3!

LadyCatherine185 is offline  
Reply


User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 1,936

9 members and 1,927 guests
Brinkley18 , Deborah , idler , KerriB , lauritagoddess , PrayerOFChrist , Realdeal , RhiannonRain , StarJune
Most users ever online was 21,860, 06-22-2018 at 08:45 PM.