Spin-Off: Good Mama Days - The Proud Mama Thread - Mothering Forums
 
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#1 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 01:12 AM - Thread Starter
 
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The guilt thread made me think that obviously, everyone has times when they don’t live up to their own ideals. If you could describe your idea of the ideal mama, that you truly could say “wow, she’s so what I try to be, I’d like to emulate that example,” what would she be like? I’m not saying list AP ideals like baby-wearing or co-sleeping. Obviously, there is no such thing as that perfect parent, but what qualities in you as a parent do you think give a child the best shot at being loving and well-adjusted? What qualities do you as a parent strive to develop in yourself? Endless patience, devotion to maintaining the comforts of home, consistency with routines, etc?

Any (judgment-free) examples of times when you were so totally proud of yourself and said "I feel like such a great mama today! I did the right thing!" ?
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#2 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 01:46 AM
 
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I'm really good at having "conversations" with dd (age 3.5 months). We go back and forth making sounds and she really "tells me all about it"
I also feel great and so right on about EC.

mama to dd (4-15-06) and
ds (2-23-09)
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#3 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 04:53 AM
 
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I've read things about how babies brains develop the best when they are often exposed to new stimulus. So, I am happy with myself when I take Alex to places where she's never been or doesn't remember, introduce her to new people (especially children), etc. Sometimes I am so tired that I just can't get motivated to take her places by myself since carrying her, buckling her, etc. is such a pain. But it is so wonderful to hear her squealing and making bizarre new noises in response to new experiences and people.

Mandy, mother to Alexandra (10/14/05) and William (12/21/07)
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#4 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 09:17 AM
 
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Honestly....I think that AP checklists aside, day to day stuff aside, I am damned proud of the fact that no matter how I'm feelig inside, how tired I am, and how cranky-faced my baby is - I love him, and I always show him I love him. I think you can "slack" on some of the "AP Must-HAves", but if you love your baby and let them know that no matter what is going on that day you will ALWAYS show them you love them, that's a dang good Mama.

And it just sunk in, when Evan started grabbing us by the necks and opening his mouth and putting his lil mouth on our cheeks. Giving hugs and kisses. And he's so sweet when he does it - my Mom said the first time she saw it, "That's a baby who knows he's loved". My heart almost exploded.

Working at home, tattoo'd, metalhead momma - homeschooling Evan (1.22.'06) and Abigail (8.2.'08) fencing.gif , and happy partner to Kyle jammin.gif . 
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#5 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 10:01 AM
 
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Quote:
EvansMomma Honestly....I think that AP checklists aside, day to day stuff aside, I am damned proud of the fact that no matter how I'm feelig inside, how tired I am, and how cranky-faced my baby is - I love him, and I always show him I love him. I think you can "slack" on some of the "AP Must-HAves", but if you love your baby and let them know that no matter what is going on that day you will ALWAYS show them you love them, that's a dang good Mama.

And it just sunk in, when Evan started grabbing us by the necks and opening his mouth and putting his lil mouth on our cheeks. Giving hugs and kisses. And he's so sweet when he does it - my Mom said the first time she saw it, "That's a baby who knows he's loved". My heart almost exploded.
Wow, that's great! See, your mom is starting to get it! SO adorable, little baby kisses.

My good mama moments are when I get right down and play with my kids...others have commented to my DH, "Now which one is the kid again?" And I can totally get into a good make-believe play with DD.

Marja: consensual-living, unschooling, piano-teaching, doula and mom to 3 creative, independent people:
DD, 8, DS, 6, and Baby DS born July 1, 2010 Married to DH for 10 years!
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#6 of 9 Old 08-04-2006, 03:20 PM
 
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Days where we leave the house at 10am and get home just in time for dinner, sleeping baby in arms, after a day full of fun adventures for the big boy and fun, babywearing sightsees for the littl'un, where I am patient and divide myself just right between kids, make me feel like a supermom. I love when Julian runs up to my partner and says "Guess what we did today?! We went to playgroup... and then we went to the pool and I went off the high dive! and then we went to the zoo..." and you can just tell he couldn't imagine a better day. Oh, and bonus points if my house is clean that day.
Also, days where the boy gets into his pj's and actually gets a bedtime story in bed instead of crashing on the couch in his clothes are nice but rare.
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#7 of 9 Old 08-07-2006, 04:23 PM
 
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I have to agree with Nadine. When it comes down to it, I am proud of the fact that my kids know they are loved no matter what. Nothing melts your heart more than hearing them say I love you for no reason or getting smothered with hugs and kisses out of the blue. Even my 7 month old gives kisses because that is so much a part of the way I parent. I remember how good it made me feel when even as a teenager my dad would say to me "you know that I love you?" and as a mother of 3 boys, he still will say that to me. I want my children to feel the same way!

Tanya, wife to my best friend momma to Blake 2/02, Jacob 5/04, Parker 12/05 and MaKenna : 6/09
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#8 of 9 Old 08-07-2006, 05:29 PM
 
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My idea of ideal parents are those whose children look back and say, "Wow--I had a wonderful childhood." My own parents, because even though I slept in a separate room, even though I was weaned early, even though we were spanked and punished and everything else that is generally looked down on, I absolutely know that my parents loved me to death and worked hard to provide me with a happy home. My dh's aunt and uncle, because on his wedding day their son stood up and repeatedly stated how thankful and happy he was to have been blessed with the best parents in the world. My late grandparents, because my (late) father and my aunt always, always gush(ed) about their picture-perfect, Leave-it-to-Beaver upbringing.

None of these parents would be considered "AP" according to the checklist, yet every one managed to raise happy, healthy and well-rounded children who love their families and look fondly on their childhoods, which is exactly what I want for ds.

My proudest mama moments are when 8 mo. old ds has the courage to explore and play in an entirely different room while I run the washer, put the laundry away, pay the bills, etc. It makes me feel so good watching him crawl off on his own or hear him playing in the living room while I'm in the bedroom, because I feel like by responding to his needs I have given him the confidence to go off on his own and do his thing.

My other moments are breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Never in my life have I felt like I was doing exactly what I should as much as I have at night when my baby roots around in half-sleep, latches on and drifts blissfully back to dreamland without a cry or a peep. I can't even properly express in words how much breastfeeding/co-sleeping makes me feel like I am part of a mother/baby pair existing just as nature designed us. I hope that makes sense.

mommy to ds 11/05, dd1 01/08, and dd2 01/10!
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#9 of 9 Old 08-07-2006, 07:13 PM
 
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For being up since 4am I feel like a pretty damn good mom today. My 9 month ds was up around 3am jumping all over me and the bed so by 4 I decided to get up with him. I changed his dipe thinking it was poopy (which rarely happens at night now) but it wasn't. He crawled around on the floor for about 5 minutes in the living room, disinterested in the toys but loving that I was up with him. I turned on the weather channel and nursed him and within 10 minutes he was asleep. I stayed up after putting him back to bed and did a little studying and reading, laundry and dishes.
I did lay back down as dh was waking up and dozed off for about a half hour but woke up when I heard my 2 year old playing. After dh left for work we went for an hour long walk in the neighborhood and then spent some time at the playground. Willem (my 2yr old) didn't want to go in the double stroller on the way back (ds#1 slept pretty much the whole time) and was really clingy and didn't want to help push the stroller so we took lots of breaks from walking back to the house which was only a block away. We probably stopped about 15 times in that block to look at flowers, sign "bird" and "squirrel" and "yellow flower" and we made up a poem about the beautiful smelling lazy susans. We popped two dead cicadas in the empty ricotta cheese container I had with me as an emergency potty and then went to show dh (his chiro office is downstairs from where we live... and he's ALWAYS there). Then we made bubble solution and Willem blew bubbles outside while I cut Gabriel's toenails. I have been about 95% patient today which is really good for me (at least lately).
We came back inside and made muffins will all kinds of yummy healthy stuff (whole grains, pin oats, oat bran, coconut, carrots, flax seeds, sunflower seeds, pecans, raisins, dates, and NO SUGAR) and baked them. I got to knit while reading Willem his new thrift store find - the Richard Scarry Please and Thank you book (yes, I can knit and read at the same time... go figure). We cuddled a lot while Gabriel napped again. We colored and painted and we are going back outside with a tubful of ice to fill with water and splash around in unti dh gets off work.
Okay, so dh had to make lunch when he came up for his break and he'll probably have to help make dinner but I got the kitchen clean and a load of laundry folded and diapers washed... and my kids have had a loving and attentive mama today so I'm giving myself


I don't know how much this pertains to the OP but: I had to share: cuz most days I feel : and : about being a mother of two little boys

ETA: ha ha for the record I had my sling with me in case on of my ds's wanted to be held but it was so humid they were perfectly content in the stroller. I did babywear while ds#1 and I were measuring and mixing the ingredients for the muffins (he was fascinated while using the flour sifter!!!)
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