The issues we have faced have been pretty much only with the oldest. He was an only child for 5 years, because I had a misdiagnosed health issue with him during pregnancy, which created a cascade of health issues until I found the truth and got healthy again. Then I had a miscarriage. Anyway, having him an only for 5 years, and me doing EVERYTHING, he bristled when he was about 7 or 8 when I began implementing chores. He fought his dad and I for YEARS on chores..it was the same with homeschooling. He went to public school the first couple of years, and in gifted classes where he really seemed to be put on a pedestal..so when he came home a few years later to "we do chores in the morning, and then we do school" and I was both his chore supervisor/co-worker and his teacher, we had issues. It was his personality, as well.
We worked through it, and at just about an adult now, he's very responsible.
The other children have grown up this way. I vowed to not make that mistake again. While I respect all parenting approaches (because the parents have the right to do as they see fit, none of my business) I do say that we could not function, and I could not be a mother to all these children, if we didn't have "rules" and some schedule and order and peace and tranquility, etc.
The routine of it all becomes second nature. Children begin seeing outside themselves. They realize they are part of something bigger-a family, and that they are counted on and appreciated, and that by their helping out and pulling some weight, mama is able to do things for them like bake, and they are all able to help others outside the home. If all they see is a chaotic and messy home, they have no desire to help clean it because it isn't instilled in them. If all they see is mama cleaning all the time, they think it's her "job" and don't believe they need to be part of the workload.
In Summer we are a little more laxed with the larger things, because we all just want to get outdoors. This never means much to anyone on the outside, in other words, they'd never know it. Now, with Autumn, the house is in great shape and the kids are in school here and after school we can all enjoy relaxing and reading or watching something on TV in a home that shows it is appreciated by the people who live there.
My husband is great with keeping up on home repairs and keeping things in good working order. We share a philosophy of caring for what we have, and also we place a different value on entertainment and "free time" than many we know. Having a lot of children has really changed us
Anyway, that's my contribution to the topic you were asking about. If you want any more detail or ideas, just PM me. I don't want my take to be the only one that matters..its' just the one that works for us.