Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Pacific Northwest, USA
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Stressed and exhausted
It's been awhile since I have posted on here. I'm reaching out because I am needing ideas on how I can take care of myself while mothering my three boys.
I am at the point now where I don't feel like I can get out of bed in the morning. I wouldn't say that I am depressed; I just don't want to experience the day. My day involves a somewhat strict routine...I stay on top of things. I make the bed, I make meals from scratch, I homeschool my kids, I keep the groceries stocked, the laundry done, the dishes done, floors swept and vacuumed, toys put away, bathroom cleaned. I'm training my boys to be helpers, and they have chores too. They do a lot of the work with me, but not so much that they don't have lots of time to play. I have a strict quiet time every day where I sometimes get a 10 minute power nap. I get almost everything done in a day that I need to. And I feel like I'm on the edge of losing it.
It's winter time, so I think this has something to do with it. It's harder to get outside and the house is starting to seem like jail. It is a huge ordeal sometimes just to get out the door. And sometimes I have the urge to just climb out the window.
It's the noise. The kids are loud. And I just want quiet...desperately. I don't just want them to be quiet; I want to be quiet. I don't want to hear my own voice.
I have stacks of books I want to read. I never get to them. I am trying to have self care. We have a two hour quiet time every afternoon. I am getting massages and chiropractic care to repair a damaged shoulder. I get my hair cut regularly. Sometimes I paint my nails. I take evening baths. I get together with someone else at least once a week. I have a church community that is supportive. I have daily prayer times. I feel like I am doing everything I can to take care of myself so that I can take care of my kids.
But then I am sharp with my kids, I feel angry at them for just doing kids things, and I just want to check out on the computer for hours. I don't want to go to bed at night because that means I have to face the next day. I don't want to get out of bed when I wake up. I'm exhausted. There is so much work.
What am I doing wrong? What can I do to help me enjoy my kids more, enjoy my days, and be less stressed. Am I doing too much? How can I let things go when there is no one else to pick up the slack? My husband tries to be helpful, but he works full-time and does his fill both at home and work already.
I feel like my nerves are completely shocked and I don't know how to recover. My boys are boys. Loud, busy, rough. They fight a lot. They get angry. They throw fits. They get hurt. I literally never know what to expect. Things can go from quiet to intense at any instance.
Please, does anyone have any ideas???
Happily married to DH
Stay-at-home mama to DS1 (01/12) & DS2 (01/14)
Expecting our third! (due 01/16)